This One Moment (13 page)

He positioned himself between my legs. I wrapped them around his hips and he slowly plunged inside me. My body stretched to accommodate his wide width. Those girls who'd written all the erotica about him on the fan sites turned out to have been right about a few details after all. Not that I planned to tell them.

“God, you're so fucking tight, Forget-Me-Not.” Nolan's eyes flared with lust and desire. “So fucking tight and hot. I'm not going to last much longer.”

That made two of us.

I expected him to begin pumping inside me. He didn't, though. He lowered himself so his chest lightly touched mine and he kissed me long and hard.

Before he started moving inside me, I caught a flash of emotion in his eyes. It went further than lust and desire. What I saw in that moment was a reflection of what I felt for him: love.

But there wasn't enough time to register what it meant. The slow burn inside me, which had ignited when he first touched me, flared out and consumed me.

I cried out his name. And the sound of my name falling from his lips was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard.

Never until then had I loved my name more.

I could've easily stayed inside of Hailey all night. So it was with great reluctance that I pulled out of her and tossed the condom in the garbage. Outside, the wind howled, restless, the opposite of how I now felt.

But by the time I returned to the bed, Hailey was bailing on me.

Like hell if I'd let that happen.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her tight. “Where do you think you're going?” I murmured in her ear.

“My room.” The vulnerability in her eyes almost brought me to my knees, and I took her face in my hands.

“What if I don't want you to go?” This was the first time I'd ever said that to a girl. With all the other girls I'd spent the last few years entertaining myself with, none had meant enough to me to want them to stay after we'd fucked.

“All right,” she said hesitantly.

“Thank you.” I brushed my lips against hers, then led her back to bed.

She cuddled up to me, her head on my chest, listening to my satisfied heart. Listening to the heart that wondered how the hell I'd be able to leave her again.

Which was why I couldn't say the three words sitting on the tip of my tongue. As much as I loved Hailey, and because I did love her, I couldn't tell her the truth. I couldn't ask her to come with me to L.A. I couldn't introduce her to my world. I couldn't expect her to put her life on hold and come on the road with me. Everything about
my
life would destroy all that made her special.

So, instead, I traced lazy circles on the soft skin of her lower back, hoping that deep down she would hear the words I couldn't say.

After a few minutes, Hailey's breathing evened out, and for a few seconds I allowed myself to believe this was my new permanent. That every night and every morning for the rest of my life, Hailey would fall asleep and wake up in my arms.

But while my brain knew this was all only temporary, I wasn't so sure my heart was on the same page—or even in the same book.

Careful not to disturb Hailey, I moved from under her. She muttered in her sleep, then curled up under the covers. I grabbed my notebook from the nightstand. Using my cellphone to light the page, I scribbled down the lyrics that poured from my heart.

And like the last song I'd written since moving in with her, the words easily poured onto the page.

The first thing I noticed when I stirred from my sleep was the warm body pressed against me. The second thing I noticed (well, third after the raging hard-on) was Hailey's scent.

I smiled and lightly kissed the naked shoulder peeking from under the covers. Hailey stirred, pressing her hot ass against my cock.

“Mornin',” I murmured into her ear. I had no idea of the time, but judging from the sunlight streaming into the room, it had to be midmorning.

“Hmmm,” she replied, which I took to be a positive sign.

My hand shifted under the cover and brushed against her full breast. This time she sucked air in sharply. I cupped the warm flesh and traced circles around her nipple. This was met by a moan from Hailey and her body jerking back against me.

From the bedside table, my phone played Jared's song. I ignored it and moved my hand down Hailey's stomach to between her legs. I palmed her heated pussy, which was already aroused and waiting for my touch. “God, Hailey. You're so fucking ready for me.”

I interpreted her answering moan to be an agreement, then slipped a finger between her folds to tease her. My thumb brushed against her clit.

“Oh, God, Nolan,” she called out.

Jared's song played again.

Again I ignored it.

With a little more pressure this time, I circled her clit, and I swear she was this close to coming.

The song played for the third time, and I was ready to hurl the damn phone against the wall.

“You should probably answer it.” Hailey shifted away from me, not giving me much choice.

I reached for my phone. “Hey, what's up?” Lucky for him he couldn't read my mind.

“Who the hell are you?”

At his near shout, I yanked the phone from my ear. “What are you talking about? You know who I am.”

“What they're saying about your name. Is it true?”

“What are they saying?” Not that I needed to ask. I had a painful suspicion I already knew.

“That your real name isn't Tyler Erickson. It's Nolan Kincaid.”

Fuck! How the hell…? Who the hell…?

My head flopped forward and I shoved my hand through my hair. “It's true.”

I smoothed my hand against the sheet, ironing out the creases. If only it had been as simple as that when it came to the mess of my life. If only it had been as simple as stripping the bedding from the bed and starting fresh.

“But why?” Jared said. “I don't mean why the name change, but why didn't you tell me? Why am I only finding out now?” The hurt in his voice almost gutted me. He was right. I should have told him. “I've told you things I've told no one else. Why? Because I trusted you, Tyler—or Nolan, or whatever your real name is.”

“Nolan is my real name,” I muttered.

Hailey moved to kneel behind me on the bed and held me close, sharing her strength. She tenderly kissed the bare skin on my shoulder.

I smiled at her, the movement small but genuine. “And I'm sorry,” I told Jared, “but I had my reasons for keeping it a secret.”

“Are you in trouble?” he asked.

“No, nothing like that. I needed to escape my past and couldn't do that with my old name.” Since I had nothing to lose by telling him the truth, I told him about my family and how I couldn't remember that night. Better he found out from me than from the media.

“I'm sorry, Ty…Nolan.”

“Once the police finished questioning me, I ran off to L.A. Where I've been ever since.”

“But how come no one knew until now about your real identity?”

“My mom home-schooled me. So other than a few friends, who I trust with my life”—I glanced at Hailey—“no one remembered me by the time we signed with the record label.” Same deal with the kids I used to play soccer with when I was younger. I'd changed enough over the years that they didn't recognize Tyler Erickson as the same lanky kid who'd been on their soccer team.

“So the record label doesn't even know?” he asked.

I cringed. “They know. They did a background check before they signed us. They couldn't find a single mention about my life. Nothing. They asked me about it and I told them.”

“And they didn't have an issue with it?”

“It's not like I'm the first musician to use a different name from what they were born with. They just wanted to make sure I hadn't been involved in anything illegal. They understood my need to protect my privacy. And that I wanted to be known for my music, not because of what my father did.”

“You could've told me. I would've understood and wouldn't have told anyone.”

“I know.” And I did. “But I'd kept it a secret for so long, I was used to being Tyler Erickson. As far as I was concerned, Nolan didn't exist anymore.” I looked at Hailey, my gaze absorbing everything about her, including the part where we were still naked. “Or he didn't exist until recently.”

She smiled softly at me, understanding what I meant.

“So what're you going to do?” Jared asked.

“Right now I have no idea. Other than writing songs for the album, my only concern is the reason I came here originally.” And for the first time since coming to Northbridge, I told Jared the truth.

“I can't leave until I know she's safe,” I finished.

“And what if the cops can't solve it before you're due back here? Then what?”

“I'll figure it out if it comes to that.”

“Fine. Just make sure that whatever's going on down there, you don't get caught up in it, okay?” Jared said. “And don't do anything stupid…” He left the warning hanging, leaving me to fill in the blanks.
Don't get yourself into deeper trouble with the media than you're already in
.

Don't get yourself killed
.

The best part of doing something meaningful to you is that it steals you away from all your problems. Even for just a few minutes a day, it fills you with a joy that can't be found anywhere else and gives you a passion to keep going when you feel like the world is conspiring against you.

Or, in my case, my feelings for Nolan were conspiring against me.

I walked out of the gym where I'd been helping the physical therapist with the kids with special needs. The more I worked with them, the more I knew this was the area I wanted to specialize in when I became a therapist. It might not mean the same as music meant to Nolan, but it came pretty darn close.

Dad had sent me a text to check if Nolan and I were okay now that the news about Tyler Erickson's true identity was out. He'd been skillfully fielding questions at the hospital, where he worked as a surgeon, ever since Nolan had been spotted coming out of my room. In many ways, Dad had always been more of a father to Nolan than Nolan's own father had been.

“Oh my God, isn't that Tyler Erickson?” a female voice shrieked from behind me as I was about to respond to my father's text, the sound rivaling that of a cat whose tail had been stepped on. Cringing, I glanced over my shoulder.

Everyone around us stopped walking, searching for their golden rock star. Once they spotted him, a handful of squealing college-age girls rushed him. A few other girls showed a little more restraint, but they too joined the small crowd fangirling over Nolan.

As I approached the group, Lindsey, who worked in the sports center part-time, looked at her phone and then over my shoulder. Her eyes narrowed.

I turned to see what she was looking at. A tall, good-looking man strode toward us, and for a moment I thought it was Nolan's father. The similarities between the two were so overwhelming that I shuddered unexpectedly.

But this wasn't Nolan's father. He was dead.

“Who is that?” I asked her.

“My stepfather…I've gotta go.” She hurried over to him.

I watched them walk away. He said a few words and she laughed. I would be hard pressed to remember a time when Nolan had laughed at something his father said.

“How was work?” Nolan asked. His fans hung on his every word. I swore a couple even sighed. But none melted into a puddle like I tended to do whenever I heard his voice, their hearts not as screwed up as mine. Lucky them.

“Good,” I told him, and walked away from the group, not caring if Nolan followed me or not. I needed to get away from his fans. They had nothing to do with me.

Nolan reached for my hand and stopped me. “Hey, where're you going?”

“Home.” I glanced back at his fans, some of whom still watched him, debating whether they should trail after him.

Nolan peered over his shoulder. “Do they bother you?”

I cringed that he knew me so well and how petty it would sound if I said yes. “No. Not really. Your fans are important to you.” Without them, Pushing Limits wouldn't be as big as they were. Without them, the band wouldn't have a chance of being bigger for the next album.

He brushed his thumb against my cheek. “But you're important to me too.”

I gave him a small smile. “But you won't always be here for me. You know that, right?”

“I know that. But while I am in Northbridge, I want to make sure you're safe.”

“I can't stop my life because of what happened. Just like you didn't let what happened to you and your family stop you from going after what you wanted.”

He leaned into me, mere inches separating our mouths. His warm breath against my lips sent a delicious heat wave to my core. I barely kept from squirming against him.

“Except I did…” He didn't finish the thought. His lips found mine.

The kiss wasn't heated like last night. This kiss was something deeper. It was a part of us opening up and sharing a vulnerability inside us. But instead of making us weaker, it would ultimately make us stronger. Braver.

Or so I hoped.

Not that I understood what was going on between us. We were former best friends who were now fucking until he left. The advanced version of fuck buddies. As far as I could tell, Nolan didn't do the girlfriend thing, other than in the eyes of the media.

He pulled away, breath heavy, and looked around us. “You and I need to talk.”

“I thought we were.”

He chuckled. “That's not what I mean. I was referring to last night. About you and me. And—”

And then I got it. He meant about what happened last night. He was already regretting it. Except his arms were still around me. If his goal was to confuse me, he'd succeeded.

“And how you'll be leaving soon.” I smiled even though it was the last thing I felt like doing. “Don't worry, I get it. What happened between us was nothing more than a fling.” I almost said “meaningless fling,” but I couldn't get the words out. It might've been meaningless for Nolan, but it was far from that for me.

He frowned. “A fling?”

“Okay, more like a…” A what? A one-night stand? A mistake? The best night of my life? Even though I wanted to, I couldn't say the last one either.

“A one-night stand? Is that what you were going to say?” He pulled away. “Or was it just a pity fuck, Hailey? You felt bad for me and decided to fuck me to help me get over it?”

He might as well have slapped my face, except his accusation hurt worse.

I took a step back, needing to maintain distance between us. Fortunately, his fans had moved on. No one was listening to our conversation. “Is that all you think I'm capable of? That I'm nothing more than an empty shell who only does one-night stands?” I tried to sound pissed but sounded hurt instead.

I turned and stalked off. Last night's storm had been nothing compared to how I felt after Nolan's accusations.

I made it as far as the main entrance before Nolan grabbed my arm. A group of moms with young kids turned to see what was going on.

“I'm sorry, Forget-Me-Not. I didn't mean for it to come out that way,” he said softly, doing his best to keep the conversation between us private. But it was a waste of time. Maybe if I was talking to someone who wasn't a celebrity, no one would've paid attention to us. But at this point I was too angry to care either way.

“How did you plan for it to come out?” I asked.

He glanced away briefly. When he turned back to me, the battlefield of emotions was still etched on his otherwise perfect face. “I don't want what happened last night to be nothing more than a meaningless one-night stand. I can get those anytime.”

“So you want us to be fuck buddies?” It spilled out harsher than I'd meant for it to sound, and I earned a few angry glares from the moms. I was too pissed to care.

“That's not what I'm saying at all.” His face softened. “I want to be with you, Hailey. I want to go to sleep with you curled against me. I want to wake up and the first thing I see is you. I know I don't have the right to say this because I'm leaving soon, but it's how I feel.”

If ice had filled my insides, his words would have caused it to melt. What he was offering wouldn't last forever, but I was willing to take as much as he'd give me, while I could.

“I want that too,” I finally said, biting back the three words I yearned to say. The three words I couldn't tell him because it would change everything. And right now what we had between us was too fragile for me to open up that way.