This One Moment (11 page)

F
IVE YEARS AGO

As I drove to the dance studio where my asshole father had left my eleven-year-old sister, Hailey talked to her on the phone, reassuring her that we were on the way.

Several raindrops splattered on the window.

“Have you seen the new Disney movie yet?” Hailey asked. “Yes, that's the one….It looks good. Do you wanna see it this weekend?…Then it's a date. Do you think Nolan wants to see it?…I think so too. He just doesn't want to admit it out loud.”

The raindrops grew in intensity and a flash of lightning lit up the sky.
Shit
. Thunder rumbled not far in the distance.

“It's okay.” Hailey's voice was soft, almost the calming tone of a lullaby. “We'll be there soon….I know, sweetie.”

I fought to keep my focus on the road. My sister hated storms. She told me once that they reminded her of our father when he got angry. Both were loud and threatening.

The healing wound on my forehead, the one that had required six stitches, suddenly throbbed, as if to remind me how threatening my father could be. But I didn't care what he did to me this time. I'd rip him a new one once I saw him. No way would my father make the mistake of abandoning my sister again. I'd make sure of that, even if I had to drive her to and from dance class myself.

The ride turned bumpy, and I realized a moment or two later that the problem wasn't the road surface. Fuck.

I pulled over to the curb and threw Hailey a look, telling her to keep talking to my sister. With the rain now pelting the ground, I climbed out of the car. Hailey joined me, the rain biting our skin as it turned to hail.

“Is there somewhere nearby you can go for shelter?” Hailey practically yelled into the phone.

An image of the building where the dance class was held shoved its way into my head. The stupid thing wasn't designed for staying dry if you were unfortunate enough to be out in the rain. And as far as I remembered, there was nothing near her that would protect her.

I had only two choices and neither of them was ideal, but at least one of them would keep my sister safe, even if I had to pay the price later.

Hailey kept talking to Sarah.

“Where's your phone?” I asked Hailey.

She shook her head, her eyes apologetic. She placed her finger over the receiver. “I didn't have time to grab it.”

Shoving my hand through my hair, I paced back and forth.
What the fuck do I do now?

I blinked the world back into focus. The memory faded yet lingered with promises of more to come.

“Stay here.” I needed to collect myself. I felt off balance, as if I were teetering on the edge of a precipice and I'd never get back up if I fell. Besides, I didn't want Hailey to know I'd remembered something about that day, or else she might've pushed me to remember more. “I won't be long.”

I stepped out of the car and joined the old woman. “Do you need help?”

A gust of wind wrapped around us, warning of the approaching storm. She shuddered. “Thanks, but there's no need. My grandson's on his way.”

“You can warm up in my car and I'll start changing your tire.” He could be her hero when he got here. Fine by me.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded. She opened her trunk, and I removed the spare tire and jack. While she joined Hailey in my car, I jacked up her vehicle.

I'd barely finished doing that when a car door slammed shut. Hailey walked toward me, pushing against the bitter wind.

“Do you need any help?” she asked.

I grinned up at her. “Couldn't handle her company, huh?”

Hailey snorted. “I think she's scheming to set me up with her grandson. He's all she can talk about. Apparently, according to her, he's great boyfriend material. Which means he's not.”

I chuckled. “You never know. Maybe you're missing out on something great.” I might have said that, but inside I hoped he'd be an arrogant ass. Definitely not Hailey's type.

But neither was I, thanks to my career. Any other time, any other career choice, I would've proved to her that I was her type and she should give me a chance. As it was, I'd chosen my career over the girl I loved. I didn't see how I could have both. At least not yet.

But just because I couldn't have her didn't mean I wanted Grandma hooking Hailey up with her grandson. I upped my pace so we could be out of here before he showed up. But before I had a chance to tighten the lug nuts, a black BMW pulled up ahead of the woman's car and parked. Right now even the paparazzi would have been preferable to her grandson. But not by much.

A good-looking man, dressed in a suit and long black coat, got out of the car and walked toward us. The back door of my vehicle opened and the old woman stepped out, beaming at him. Too bad he couldn't have been a random stranger wanting to help us.

The woman shuffled over to us across the snowy ground. “Hailey, this is my grandson, Craig.” She patted the man's shoulder.

Craig held his hand out to Hailey. I narrowed my eyes at the offending limb. I'd punch his lights out if he was one of those sleazebags who kissed the back of a girl's hand.

Because Hailey was turned away from me, I couldn't tell if she was interested in him. But the smile on his face warned he was interested in her.

The guy might actually be good for Hailey,
a voice somewhere in my head pointed out. I gave the voice a mental whack with the wrench, even though it had a point.

As Grandma explained to her grandson that Hailey wanted to be a physical therapist and help kids, I tightened the last nut and straightened. “There you go,” I said. “Tire's changed.”

Craig glanced down at the tire and disappointment landed briefly on his face. It had nothing to do with him wanting to be the one who changed the tire for his granny. To be her hero. He just wanted more time to steal my girl. Asswipe.

“Maybe you two would like to get together for coffee.” Grandma looked between Hailey and Craig.

Craig lifted an eyebrow. “I'd like that if you're game.”

Hailey glanced at me for a heartbeat before looking back at him. “Uh…sure.”

What did I expect? Yes, we had kissed, but we both knew that couldn't go anywhere right now. I should be happy that she was ready to move on after what the douchebag of an ex-boyfriend had done to her.

While I put the flat tire and jack in his grandmother's trunk, he programmed Hailey's number into his phone. It took everything I had and then some not to slam the trunk shut harder than necessary.

He thanked me for helping his grandmother, the entire time eyeing me the way most people did when they recognize me but can't figure out where they knew me from. He wasn't a fan of the band. He'd just seen my picture a few times.

Hailey and I returned to my car and climbed in. “Are you really going out with him?” I asked as we drove away.

“I wouldn't say I'm going out with him. I'm meeting him for coffee. Big difference.”

I remained silent the rest of the way home, stewing over emotions I had no right feeling. Dying on the inside at what the woman's flat tire had cost me.

Once home, I brooded in my room and worked on the song I'd been writing for the past few days. I knew I needed to talk to Hailey, but I just couldn't deal with it all right now. I had to get lost in my music first. I needed to finish the current song I was working on, which was almost ready to share with Jared.

By the time I'd fiddled with the final verse to the point where I was happy with it, the sun was low in the sky. I started playing it through once again but had only made it to the second verse when the opening strains of an Aerosmith song came from my phone. Jared.

I accepted the call. “Hey, man. I'm almost finished with the song.”

“That's great.” A pregnant pause fell between us, which was odd given that Jared had phoned
me
. “How're things going?”

“Great, but I still can't go back to L.A. yet. I have…things to deal with here first.”

Another long pause. “I'm joining you. It's just too hard writing songs this way.”

Fuck.
“Look, give me another week. If I still can't return to L.A. next week, you can join me.”

“Fine, you've got a week. But then it won't be just me joining you. The whole band will fly out. Otherwise there's no way we'll be ready in time.”

Double fuck.
Once they showed up, I wouldn't have time for Hailey anymore. But maybe it wouldn't be so bad having the band here. They'd be a distraction to keep me from remembering.

Only problem was, where the hell were we going to work?

While Nolan was in his room, talking on the phone, I started cooking dinner, even though he'd originally planned to make it. I needed to distract myself while he was busy. Something about him on the drive home had been off. It had been that way since we'd pulled over to help the woman with her flat tire…and I knew why. It wasn't because I'd told Craig I would go out with him for coffee. Nolan was returning to L.A. soon. We both knew that. Plus Nolan didn't feel the same way about me that I felt about him. No, Nolan was remembering. Despite his plans to do otherwise, he was beginning to remember the night his father killed Nolan's mother and sister. Maybe not everything, but enough to leave him off balance.

And that worried me.

By the time Nolan returned from his room, the seafood fettuccine was on the table. Cue candles and music, and it would have looked like a romantic dinner.

He sat down. “Wow, this looks great. But wasn't I going to cook?”

“You were busy and I was bored.” I popped a garlicky scallop in my mouth. It practically melted on contact with my tongue, thanks to Kayla having taught me a thing or two about cooking.

Nolan and I didn't say anything at first, the air around us off-kilter. I couldn't tell what Nolan was thinking, and it drove me nuts. It had never used to be like this between us. I used to always know what he was thinking. I used to know what to say to him to make him feel better.

“You're remembering, aren't you?” I didn't want to cause him more pain. I wanted to help him rip off the proverbial Band-Aid, but sometimes ripping it off wasn't the way to go. Sometimes you needed to gently peel it away to avoid leaving the individual raw and exposed. The trick was knowing which way was best at that particular moment.

He froze, his gaze fixed on his food, a slight tremble to his hand.

“It'll be okay, Nolan.”
I'll be there for you. I'll never let you deal with this alone again. Not as long as you let me in like you used to.

“How can you say that?” His words came out as a choked whisper, confirming my suspicions. He was remembering. As much as he didn't want to, he couldn't stop it, not unless he left Northbridge and returned to L.A. And maybe even then the memories would still come, unable to stop now the floodgate had been pried open. “I didn't stop it from happening, and…and maybe I'm just like him and I don't know it yet.” The final words were no longer a whisper. They were harsh, bitter, intended to cause pain. Not to me; the pain was all his own, and that made the hurt inside me even stronger.

“You're not like him,” I said. “You're nothing like him, Nolan, and you never will be.”

Nolan slammed his fork on the plate, metal clinking against ceramic, and I jumped. “You don't know that.” He pushed away from the table. “I don't want to talk about this.” He stormed off.

I rushed after him and gently grabbed his arm. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.” When he still wouldn't look at me, I placed my hand on his face and guided it so he was forced to look at me. “You need to trust me. I only want to help you. You know that, right?”

He studied my eyes for a second, then nodded. “I do trust you. But I'm not ready to remember.” He looked away. “I'm scared. I'm afraid of remembering what I did or didn't do to save them. I'm terrified of having to relive it again and again.”

I brushed my lips against his cheek. “I know you're scared, Nolan. But I'm here for you. No matter what, I'm here for you.”

He hugged me, body shaking, face buried in my hair, and whispered, “I know.”

We stayed like this for several heartbeats before he finally pulled away. His wall was sliding back into place, even if there were now holes in it that hadn't been there before. He still wasn't ready to remember, but ready or not, it would happen. And there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“How about we finish dinner, then watch a movie?” My lips curled up on one side. “I'll even let you pick it.”

Nolan snorted. “Yes, because I've been dying to watch a chick flick all day.”

“Hey, I also have
Lord of the Rings
.” I poked him in the side. “You can't say no to that.”

He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. “It's you I can't say no to.”

My heart leapfrogged into my throat. Before I could respond or kiss him back, he returned to the table and ate like the last few minutes had never happened. Fine—if it made him feel better for now, who was I to argue?

After dinner, I snuggled against him to watch the movie. We'd done this a million times before, but this time it felt different.
We
felt different, and I didn't mean because we'd been kissing lately. I still hadn't figured out what that was all about. I knew I should ask him what was going on between us, but hello, this was Aragorn we were talking about. He was nice to look at, and I didn't have to figure out how he felt about me. He just went to work, killing orcs and making the girls watching the movie swoon.

At one point, as the wind and snow stormed outside the window, Nolan stiffened next to me—and I had a feeling it had nothing to do with the movie.