This Time Around (21 page)

“What do you mean, gone? She just left?” I ask. Shock coating my voice.

“Yeah, gone. She left Knox. She told the nurses that she didn’t want to be a mum. They had papers waiting for me. She signed all parental rights over to me before she left.” Bitch. She doesn’t deserve that boy.

“What a fucking bitch,” I blast out. “She just left her newborn baby and took off? Please, tell me she stayed out of his life. She doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as that beautiful boy in there,” I state, pointing to the house where Connie and Knox are snuggled up, watching a movie in the living room.

“We haven’t seen her since. I have shown him photos but to be honest, he really isn’t bothered. He knows he is loved, I…”

“Of course he knows he is loved. You are a freaking great, father, Liam. You should be bloody proud of that boy. You raised him well,” I say, covering his hand with mine. He looks at the contact and turns his hand over and links our fingers together.

“I am proud of him. So fucking proud. But hearing you say that means so much to me, Bambi.” I lean up and kiss his cheek and he smiles at me. I lift my hand and smooth it over his light stubble. I love it. The feel of it against my skin.

“So what happened after that?”

“I had no choice but to take him on the road with me. I had no-one else to watch him. I never met Shelly’s family. Being on the road
with a newborn was hard, it was a fucking nightmare. I would just get him down to sleep and some fucker would wake him up. They hated having him there, but what choice did I have? The turning point was I found a half smoked joint in his pram. He was only four weeks old, and they didn’t give a flying fuck that they had drugs around my boy. I packed my shit up and left. I took off and went home to my grandad's place. He took us both in and helped me raise Knox the right way. I will forever be grateful for everything he has done for us. He helped improve on my car skills, and that’s why I am the man I am today. Because of him. He owned his own garage and I started working for him, when he died he left the business to me but I found it hard to work there without him. I think finding Adrian was fate and I had to grab a hold of it with both hands. And I am so fucking glad I did, because it brought me back to you.” My breathing picks up as our eyes stay locked. I watch as he watches me lick my lips, he licks his lips and I have to squeeze my thighs together to ease the ache that he starts. I feel like a freaking sex starved woman around him.

“One night, Liam. I couldn’t have left that much of an impression on you, you left before I woke up,” I whisper.

“I know and believe me I felt shitty for doing it. But baby, my world was dark at the time. I was drinking, taking drugs, and yes you are going to really fucking hate me, but I was sleeping with girls almost every night.” My eyes widen, and I crinkle my nose up in disgust. “I lived for the band. The job. After that night, you were always in my head. Every girl I fucked was you. I am going to sound like a dick, but I always fucked them from behind so I didn’t have to see their face. I could always put you in their place.” He looks at me, trying to gage my reaction. I stare at him with wide eyes, not believing the words he just said.

“Wow, Liam. That is… I don’t know what that is,” I manage to stammer out.

“I know it sounds bad, but that is how my life was ‘BP’ and ‘AP’.” He winks at me, trying to soften the tension between us I would guess.

“What the hell is ‘BP’ and ‘AP’?” He smiles at me, and the tension in his shoulders relax a little.

“Before Penny and After Penny,” he shrugs. Whoa, what did he say?

Oh. My. Freaking. God. That is hilarious. I burst out laughing. As in a full body shaking, eyes streaming with tears laughing. I can’t control it. BP and AP, I run it around my head and it starts a whole new wave of laughter. I look at Liam and he is smiling at me, but he's frowning a little.

“Are you done? Or do you need to laugh more?”

“No. No, I am done,” I gasp between breaths. “You suck,” I tell him, with a smile on my face.

Liam’s voice lowers so only I can hear him. “No, babe. You suck and you suck good.”

“LIAM!” I admonish him, and slap his big bulging bicep. My face turns serious when my palm connects with his warm, hard skin, I leave my hand there.

“Arm porn. God, what girls would give to touch these puppies.”

“Baby, they are just arms,”

“They are not ‘just’ arms, Liam. God, they are amazing. Okay, what do you like about my body?” I ask. His face is priceless when I ask the question. I know that men hate being asked by their woman on their looks or an outfit they like. I think he even goes a shade of green. I smirk at him.

“Well?” I prompt.

“Is this a trick question? The one where it doesn’t matter what body part I say, you will find a problem with my answer.”

“Nope. I really want to know,” I state.

“Okay, then I love your arse. I love the way it looks when I am slamming into you from behind. It is perfection. I swear every man has to look when you walk past. Turning heads everywhere you go, babe.”

“Men don’t look at my arse, Liam. I know I am ordinary. It was always Jodi and Rachel who got all the men,” I tell him. Because it is true. No-one ever looks at me.

“Baby, you are fucking stunning. Sexy as fuck. And yes, everyone tries to catch a glimpse of that arse of yours. But they need to know that I own that piece of perfection. Along with the woman attached to it.” I can feel the blush climbing up my neck and covering my face. Liam leans in and kisses my left cheek and then my right. He slowly aims his mouth towards mine

“Did you love her? Knox’s mum I mean?” I ask. I need to know. It is a woman thing.

“No. I never loved her. I knew from the start that I couldn’t love her. She was a means to an end, but in the end she gave me Knox so I couldn’t hate her for that. I didn’t see my parents much growing up, so the only real love I felt was from my grandparents. My parents liked to party, even at their age. There was always some kind of music festival they just had to go to. They would go and get drunk, high on drugs. I wouldn’t see them for weeks at a time, even though it was a weekend festival. My grandparents looked after me, but being a twatty teenage boy I rebelled. Big time, like I said. I got into fights at school and outside of school I was caught shoplifting I don’t know how many times. I found from an early age that sex was a good escape, but the girls used me as much as I used them. I am praying to fuck that Knox doesn't go through his teenage years like me. I was blocking out the feeling of not seeing my parents when all my friends had theirs around. I often thought that they didn’t love me.”

I touch his arm and I lean in and kiss his stubble covered cheek. “I wish I had met you sooner. Anyway, I met a girl who I dated for a little while and her dad worked as a roadie for a band and they were looking for fresh meat. I had just turned eighteen and it was perfect timing for me. I took off with the band that summer and never looked back. My grandparents hated it, but I didn’t give a shit at the time, let's just say I didn’t know a good thing until it was gone. My nana passed away while we were on tour, and I never got to say goodbye to her or attend her funeral. That fucked me right up. My already excessive drinking went to a new high. My girlfriend at the time caught me getting a blowjob from some groupie and she dumped my arse, but after she kicked me in the balls.” I crack up laughing again. God, he is killing me tonight. My ribs and stomach muscles are hurting like hell.

“Oh My God, that is so freaking funny. Serves you right for sticking your dick where it shouldn’t have been.” I stop laughing suddenly and look Liam in the eyes. “You do know that I am a nurse, right?”

“Why do I feel there is a hidden threat in there, somewhere?

“Because there is one, Mr Bradley. Now do you want another beer or shall we go to bed?” I wink at him. He moves like lightning. I climb off the lounger and drag Liam back into the house behind me. I walk to the living room to check on the kids and find them passed out. Liam chuckles behind me. They look perfect. I tip-toe over to the chair and pick the TV remote up and turn the TV off. I leave the fairy lights on for the kids and walk back over to Liam, who is leaning against the door frame. God, my man is freaking sexy. I smirk at him and stand in front of him. He smiles down at me, with a mischievous look on his face.

“Bed. Now.” He picks me up and throws me over his shoulder, and then runs up the stairs taking two at a time.

He fucks me hard first. And then he makes love to me, slow and sensual. This man knows how to play my body.

Today marks a big day in our lives. It is a bittersweet day. Today is Connie’s tenth birthday and the tenth anniversary that we lost Jodi. Connie woke up in a somber mood. She has been like this the last few years, when she could really understand about her birth mum. Jodi will always be a part of her life, I will never take that from her. But Connie, being Jodi's daughter, she will enjoy today. She will love every gift and card she is given. Every birthday wish, she will be grateful for. She is having a big party today at the restaurant that she loves to eat at. We have hired the main function room because it has a back deck. Connie loves to be outside. We have hired a photo booth along with a candy floss machine. Matt’s mate is the DJ, so he is doing that for free, can’t ever turn down something free.

We went shopping for a special dress for her for tonight and I have to say, that I did cry when she walked out of the dressing room. The top of the dress is white with a black trim, the skirt is black and white zigzag pattern. It meets her knees. She decided to wear brand new white Converse with it. She very rarely wears pretty girly shoes. She told me that wearing Converse with dresses is, ‘all the fashion, Mum, get with it’, so I got with it and got her new ones. She has had her hair put into a waterfall braid and curled at the ends. Seeing her standing by the door waiting for the car to arrive brings tears to my eyes. She looks so much like Jodi. I walk up behind her and place my hands on her shoulders and kiss the top of her head.

“You okay, babe?” She nods her head but doesn’t speak. I wrap my arms around her and hug her to me. “She would have been so proud of you, CJ. You are turning into an amazing young woman. Loving and caring of those around you, just like she did. Jodi always put people first. Her heart was so big, but she made extra room for you. You need to understand that you were made with love, CJ.” She spins to face me. It has been a long time since I have called her CJ. “Your dad, may be an arsehole but Jodi had enough love in her to make you perfect. She left me the perfect gift. I will always miss her. She will
always
be in my heart and my thoughts. The day your mum died was bittersweet for me. She left me, but she gave me you. You not only do her proud, but you do me proud. I could never have asked for a better daughter. I love you CJ,” I tell her, emotion choking me. We are both crying when I see the car I hired pull up outside the house. I pull back and laugh, I let her go and wipe under my eyes, dreading to think what I look like. But thank God for waterproof mascara.

“You are beautiful, Mum. And I love you everyday for being you. I love Jodi. I will do you both proud, always. You are the best Mum,
ever
.”

“Hold that thought until you see the car we are travelling in.” I nod behind her and her squeals fill the air. We are travelling to her party in a kitted out VW Bug Camper Van. She loves these things. It is blue and white on the outside. The inside is perfect for Connie. The seats are white leather with blue stitching. The floor is blue. The whole inside is filled with blue and white fairy lights. There is a small bar on the one side with cans of Coke and Fanta. Also there are some mixed sweets that she loves. She loves Haribo, sherbet spaceships and jelly tots.

There is a bloke standing by the open doors, in a white t-shirt with a big number ten on it. He has two tattooed sleeves just like Liam, but I can also see some black ink peaking out from the neck of his shirt. He gives us a big beautiful smile Connie as she gets closer, damn I bet he gets the knickers wet with those dimples.

“I take it you are the birthday girl?” he asks.

“Yep. That's me. Oh. My. God, Mum, this is
epic.
Can we get in?” Connie asks the man.

“Of course you can. My name is Dex, and I will be your driver for the next hour. So why don’t you beautiful ladies climb in and enjoy the ride.” He smiles proudly at us. Connie doesn’t hesitate, she jumps in and her squeals fill the camper. I look at Dex and smile.

“Thank you for doing this. It has made her day,”

“It is no problem. I was happy to hear from Liam, it has been too long. I just moved back into the area with my brother, Jay. We just opened a tattoo studio in town, it is called ‘Castle Ink’ you should stop by one day,” he says, looking over my bare skin, looking for tattoos no doubt. I am dressed in a strapless dress that reaches just above my knees. It is navy lace on top and has a floral skirt with a thin brown belt. I added my nude coloured heels and clutch bag.