This Too Shall Pass (13 page)

“Then stop it. If you keep on—.”

“Yes, mom. I know. If I keep on doing what I’m doing, I’m going to keep on getting what I’m getting. That doesn’t help me.”

“What happened tonight?”

“I took Riki to his house after we went school shopping. Kinley’s sick and she wanted me. Cory wouldn’t let her come with me. Even after she clung to me, crying. He wouldn’t let me bring her home. He’s being such a dick and I hate him.”

“Watch your mouth, and you don’t hate him. You’re hurt by him.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure I hate him. I know as a Christian, you don’t like hearing that, but I can’t help it. It’s what’s in my heart.”

“What do you want, Alexis?” Lola asked with her feet coming to a halt. She leaned up and rested her elbows on her knees, staring right at Alexis.

“I want to go back to Dad’s birthday party and do it all over again.”

“Why? Because you did something so terrible to be treated badly? We all make mistakes, honey. Your dad and I have worked on you kids from your very first breath. Life is too short for all this. You have to pick yourself up and move on.”

“Mom, I’m pregnant. How the hell am I supposed to move on?”

“Find something else to busy your mind.”

Alexis held down the temper with a deep breath. “Look at my yard. You saw what I did to Riki’s room, and the attic. I’m getting ready to remodel my room, but it’s not enough. Can’t you understand that? I’m eventually going to run out of things to do.”

“And you’re going to eventually see how blessed you are, see how much you do have, and not what you don’t have. Don't put your life on hold for anyone, Alexis. Every minute you spend focusing on Cory is a minute that's holding you back. You have a future, and whether or not Cory rides in here on a white horse and does the right thing is irrelevant. God put that baby there for a reason. You might not know what that reason is right now, but you will. You have got to forgive and move on. You have to, Alexis, bad blood is a horrible, horrible disease. Forgive and move on. I have to admit, as much as I loved Cory, I sort of always had a feeling.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re both so pernicious right now.”

“No, I’m not talking about us being spiteful, besides, I’m not trying to be. He is.”

“I feel like things moved pretty fast with you and Cory. You got pregnant. I think your relationship birthed out of proximity or chemistry alone, and it was bound to fail.”

“That’s not true. I mean yeah, there was a lot of chemistry, but there still is.”

“When letting go becomes less painful than holding on, it’s time, Alexis. Let him go.”

The wise words were appreciated, but contrary to the help. They did little to stop the vison of Kinley not feeling well and wanting her mother. That one may never be forgiven. That was cruel and uncalled for.

Walt had pretty close to the same words of wisdom once he arrived to pick up his wife. They were heard, but hard to hear. She was hurt and felt betrayed. She just needed a moment to feel pain and mend the wounds. She would be okay, she knew she would, but whether they understood or not, it had to be her way in her time.

After seeing her parents off, Alexis sighed a long breath, swatting a mosquito on her arm. Her hand went to her growing pooch and her eyes stared after the taillights. It was time to move on. She knew that part, it was the how to do it that had her beat. She could make all the promises in the world, but she couldn’t take off his ring, she couldn’t sleep in her bed, and she couldn’t get him out of her mind. One thing was for sure. She sure as hell wasn’t going to trust another man, ever. It didn’t matter if they came from small town Cedar Springs or big city Chicago, they were all the same. At least Mitch always treated her with the utmost respect.

Alexis stood and text Cory as she walked toward the door. “Come on, buddy,” she coaxed, letting Mr. Dog inside, fingers on the keypad.

Alexis—How’s Kinley?

Of course dick-face couldn’t just be human and text her back. He still hadn’t texted by the time she’d gotten out of the shower. Screw that. This was bullshit and he was being an ass. Alexis stood in the door of her room, debating on what to do. She tilted her head, remembering all the work she’d already done, how much she loved the silver-gray walls, and the bedroom suit. Why would she change it? Screw that, too. She wasn’t changing it. It was hers, not his and she was done having a backache on the sofa.

Cory answered on the third ring. “She’s fine, Alexis. She was fine before we ever made it in the house. I gave her some Tylenol and she’s content in her highchair, eating cheese puffs.”

“And you couldn’t just message me that?”

“If there was something wrong, I would have called you. She’s fine. Are you fine?”

“What?”

“I don’t want you to cry, Alexis.”

“Oh, because you care? Don’t worry about me.”

“I’m taking the girls to Chicago for Thanksgiving. My sister is getting married that weekend.”

“Um, no you’re not. You’re not taking Kinley to Chicago.”

“We’re not doing this Alexis. Yes I am. She’s just as much mine as she is yours.”

“Kinley is spending Thanksgiving here with my family like she always does.”

“We’ll talk about it later. It’s two months away.”

“We don’t need to talk about it later. You’re not taking Kinley to Chicago without me.”

“Goodbye Alexis.”

The phone disconnected when she announced “I hate you.”

The words her mother spoke about letting go played over and over in her mind.
Every minute you spend focusing on Cory is a minute that's holding you back.
She didn’t want to be held back anymore. She wanted to move forward, she really did, and that was what she was going to focus on. Moving forward. Alexis slept in her own bed for the first time in weeks. She didn’t cry herself to sleep, she didn’t let Cory be the last thing on her mind, and she didn’t wake up thinking about him. She woke up refreshed, grateful for the full night of sleep. Hands above her head and flat on her back, Alexis stared up at the ceiling. That’s the first time she felt it and the sense of guilt washed over her again. Her eyes quickly darted to the movement in her stomach and she lifted her shirt. She wondered if Kinley moved around at four months in. The thought of her being past the first trimester crossed her mind and she knew this was going to happen. Another baby was going to be born in less than five short months. A sigh and then a smile was prominent when she placed her hand over the kick. This baby was cray active.

Determined to have a good day and forget Cory, Alexis got up and went to work. She was going to get through this, she was going to raise the three kids to the best of her ability, and she was done with Cory Baker except, she couldn’t take the ring off. Funny how it took her forever to accept it and put it on, but now couldn’t seem to get it off.

Paige had done a phenomenal job the day before in the studio. Alexis looked at the photos of the three kids Paige had rudely taken over, happy that she did. The girl had talent. The work in front of her was spent with intent, focused, and committed, all but one little thing. She had to check on Kinley before her mind would rest. She was doing it just like he would have and not with a text message. He could answer her questions without being a dick or he could be a dick. She didn’t much care.

Cory decided to answer after five rings. “How’s Kinley this morning?” Alexis asked while she squinted her eyes and covered a red patch on the little girl’s cheek on her screen.

“She’s fine, slept all night.”

“Good, goodbye.” Alexis smiled a satisfied smile and dropped her phone to the desk. “Taste your own medicine, Doc,” she said with a snort. It felt good, maybe she could be an ass too.

“Hey, girl. I’m surprised to see you here,” Bernie announced while she plopped to the chair in front of Alexis and propped her feet on her desk, biting into an apple. “How are you? You look better today.”

“I feel better. I think last night is the first night I’ve slept in weeks. Other than the fact that I haven’t had sex in a million days, I feel good.”

Bernie bit anther chunk of apple, talking around the crunching, “Buy a toy.”

“Get your feet off my desk. No, I don’t need a toy. I’m fine,” Alexis assured her with a shove to the bright white sneakers.

Bernie sat up determined, leaning over the desk. “Go to Amazon. Get the magic wand. It’s electric. You’ll forget all about Cory.”

“I’m not going to Amazon to buy a magic wand. Don’t you have a shoot?”

“No, we’re slow as hell. I hate September. Go to Amazon. I just want to show you.”

“You’ll be singing a different tune once the Christmas season kicks in.”

“Yeah, yeah, go to Amazon.”

“I’m not buying a sex toy. I’m fine.”

“No you’re not. Watch out. Just let me show you.” Bernie was like a cheetah, fast and sneaky. She slid Alexis out of the way and hovered the mouse over the search bar and within seconds had the strange looking device pulled up in front of them.

Alexis tilted her head to the right and scrunched her face. “What the hell do you do with it? It looks too big to go inside.”

“You don’t have to put it inside. Trust me. This is my go to when Travis is gone. Travis is gone a lot.” Bernie reminded Alexis with a serious nod.

“It’s cheap enough.” Oh lord. Was she really thinking about this? Her parents would have twin heart attacks if they ever found out.

Bernie clicked add to cart. “Now, if you want something that goes inside, I recommend this one.”

Alexis looked around the room, making sure they were alone and clicked off the real looking toy. “Let’s start with one. I can’t even look at that.”

“You’re too much like your folks.”

“No, I’ve just been blessed with not one, but two douchebags in my life.”

“Look, two day shipping,” Bernie said with a pointed finger. “You can be enjoying it by Tuesday.”

“Bernie!” Alexis yelled when her obnoxious friend clicked twice, once for buy it now, and once for confirm.

“Trust me, you’re going to love it.”

“I’m not telling you whether I do or not, so don’t ask me.”

“Whatever, I don’t have to ask. I know.”

Alexis shook her head with an eye roll and changed the subject. Too late now, Bernie had already ordered the dumb thing. Stupid one click. “Cory thinks he’s taking Kinley to Chicago for Thanksgiving.”

“Really? How do you feel about that?”

“I said no, absolutely not. There’s no way I’m letting him do that. I don’t even want him to take Riki,” Alexis explained while she clicked out of Amazon and back to her photos.

“You suck at this. You gotta play the game, too. It’s the only way. Men play games, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“What do you mean?” Alexis questioned as her elbows went to the desk and she studied Bernie. She didn’t know about this stuff like Bernie did. Bernie had been through at least twenty guys. Alexis was almost thirty and only had two.

“I’m going to my parents the first week in December. Come with me. Tell him fine, but you’re taking the girls and going to my parents’ with me.”

“Cory would never let me take the girls to Florida.”

“See, that’s what I mean. He wouldn’t let you, but he expects you to? Screw that. Come with me.”

“You really think we can both take a week off in December? You’re crazy. I couldn’t go, even if I wanted to.”

“Yes you could. Paige and Tawny can handle the studio and you can work from anywhere with Wi-Fi. You can go. Besides, you hate winter. It would be a nice get away for you. You’ve got time. Just think about it.”

Alexis raised her eyebrows in thought. She would like that, but not enough for Cory to take the girls to Chicago. That wasn’t a tradeoff she would condone, not all the way to Chicago. “We’ll see.”

“What are you doing tonight? Travis and Taylor are doing some lockdown thing in the gym for cub scouts. Wanna do something?”

Alexis looked to Bernie with intent. Did she? “Like what. I can’t do much.”

“You’re pregnant, not dead. Johnny’s DJ-ing at the line tonight. Let’s go.”

“No, I’ll want to drink.”

“I’ll stay sober with you. We’ll eat a greasy cheeseburger and drink coke.”

Alexis belly laughed, tears and all. “You’re going to go into a bar and not drink. When hell freezes over.”

“What? I can do it.”

“No you can’t.”

“Bet me, let’s go,” Bernie held out her deal hand.

Alexis studied it for a second and shook twice, deciding if she was going to forget Cory she needed to start somewhere. “Twenty bucks says you drink?”

Bernie took the deal and let go of her hand. “Let’s go to April’s. I’m hungry.”

“You just gobbled an apple in three seconds, it’s only noon. Don’t you have work to do?”

“No, I told you, we’re slow as hell. I don’t have anything until two and that’s it for the day. Come on, It’s Saturday. Potato soup.”

Alexis stood to go along. This baby did make her hungrier than normal and April’s potato soup was the best, maybe even as good as her mothers. An audible gasp was heard when Alexis retrieved her phone, hitting buttons as quickly as she could. The desk chair rolled back when she practically fainted into it.