Thorne (Random Romance) (6 page)

And so it became almost impossible for me to look at myself in the mirror.

After dinner Da retired to bed, exhaustion ravaging his body. Jonah hadn’t spoken since Thorne left, and for once I couldn’t interpret his silence. It was an odd awareness – that he was thinking things I couldn’t read.

Penn was still obsessively running his fingers over the carvings at the edge of the table. They showed the ocean dropping away at the end of the world, and I’d imagined falling off that drop so many times that I’d almost convinced myself it was how I was going to die one day.

I walked into Da’s room, sinking onto his bed. Placing a cool cloth on his forehead, I watched him toss and turn in the grips of fever. It was like this every night and some days.

‘I’m sorry,’ I whispered. ‘I’m sorry this has taken so long. But I will end this, I promise.’

Needing air, I walked onto our balcony and made my way slowly down the steps. Another beautiful night, but something was tapping at the edges of my calm, whispering to me with a kind of sick urgency.

I hadn’t truly believed that the rumour could be true. That there could be a way to break the unbreakable bond. But why else would Emperor Falco call us to his city? Why would he make such a spectacle of it if the whispers weren’t true?

I reached the sand and let my bare feet sink into the coarseness of it. It was late and everyone had gone to bed. The beach was empty; the night was full. Moving to the water, I let the waves lap at my ankles and looked up to realise I was wrong. There was another figure on the beach, some few hundred yards down. And with a strange ache in my chest, I knew who it must be.

I walked towards him and saw him turn in the moonlight. Catch sight of me. Stiffen in surprise. Neither of us spoke as I arrived to stand beside Thorne. We dipped our toes in the cold surf, not looking at each other.

There was, inexplicably, something alive in the space between our bodies.

I closed my eyes, squeezed them shut very tight as if to block out his overwhelming, silent presence. The waves were loud in my ears, too loud.

‘It’s gone,’ Thorne murmured.

I looked up into his face.

‘I never thought it would be.’ His lips quirked. ‘Your smile.’

I looked away. ‘It rests sometimes.’

‘I don’t like it when it’s gone.’

‘I thought you were angry with me.’

‘For seeing the truth of me?’ He shook his head. ‘No. I could never be angry with you for that.’

‘Then you’ll come with us tomorrow?’

He was silent a long moment. ‘What benefit would travelling together bring us?’

‘You’d gain a guide. I know Kaya. I can get you there more quickly. And travelling with a group of Kayans is far less likely to earn you a knife in the back than travelling on your own.’

He considered this. ‘And you? What do you gain from my presence, Finn of Limontae? Would it not endanger you and your brothers?’

‘We’re tougher than we look.’ I folded my arms, watching the ocean. ‘I already told you, Prince Thorne. I find you curious.’

‘And that’s it?’

‘I’d love to see the feathers you ruffle along the way.’

‘Entertainment,’ he said flatly. ‘That’s what you want.’

‘Don’t we all?’

He shook his head but stayed silent.

‘Don’t you want to have an adventure?’ I pressed.

‘Not particularly.’

‘Why? Doesn’t standing still
bore
you?’

He glanced at me. ‘We aren’t all afraid of the quiet.’

My heart lurched. For a second, I hated him. ‘Then what
are
you afraid of, Mighty Prince of Pirenti?’

‘Heights,’ he admitted ruefully. ‘Deathly so.’

I blinked in surprise. ‘Truly?’

Thorne nodded and I laughed, relieved for it.

‘Penn is not your brother, is he?’

‘Not by blood.’

‘How have you come to be so close to him?’

I shrugged. For some reason I didn’t like talking about Penn to other people – they were inevitably curious about him, but I always thought of him as private and ours. Which was stupid, I supposed. ‘He has no parents. Was being raised by his grandma, but she’s … difficult. Her mind went a long time ago, and as you can imagine that’s not a great environment for someone like Penn to grow up in. He was just another child of the cliffs at first. But he was lonely and we fell in love with him, and he just sort of … joined the family. Sometimes he lives with us, sometimes he doesn’t.’

‘Will he go with you to Sancia?’

‘Of course.’

‘You don’t think it … dangerous?’

I glanced at Thorne. ‘I’ll give you a piece of advice, Prince. Don’t underestimate Penn.’

He nodded, but I didn’t think he’d really believe me until he saw for himself what our little friend was capable of.

‘I want to swim,’ I announced, wading forward. I wanted to be away from him, from those eyes of his.

Thorne’s hand jerked out to grab me. ‘Careful.’ He didn’t touch my skin. I was acutely aware of it. Instead his hand stayed safely in the folds of my shirt.

I turned back to him, surprised. ‘Why?’

‘Because there are people in that house waiting for you to come home.’

‘You think the touch of the ocean would keep me from them? I grew up here, Thorne. I live in this water.’

‘So you don’t need to be careful?’ he asked quietly. ‘
Ever?
’

‘Why?’ I pressed again.

He didn’t respond this time.

‘You’re so careful you’ll grow old and brittle,’ I warned.

‘Maybe so,’ he answered, sounding old and brittle, and I felt instantly bad. I wanted to know what his life was like, what he’d seen, what he’d lived through. He was too old for his body.

He said, ‘But you are careless with life.’

I swallowed, panicked. My eyes had gone green, edged with silver. His stayed the same. As they always would.

I knew what colour all the pieces of us were meant to be, but I’d never known what colour the bits in between were. I’d never known how red they’d be. Never known what the touch of the air between two bodies felt like, never guessed it would be sharp and soft and brutal, or pale, pale blue.

We stared at each other, and the moment stopped. Like the greatest fool in the world, my eyes slid to match his hue.

And that was that. There would be no more quiet moments with this man. No more words spoken softly at night over the crashing of waves. There would be no more looks like these, no more eyes changing to blue or black. I would make certain of it.

I took off my clothes, all of them, ignoring his intake of breath, and then I plunged into the sea. And I did it just to annoy him.

When I surfaced he’d disappeared, the darkness swallowing him up, and I was alone again under a sparkling black sky.

Thorne

I’d never considered colour before, never understood that it could say so much, explain so much. But here with the Kayans, who understood colour to mean emotion, I was painfully aware of how inadequate my own imaginings of feeling had been.

She was as wild as my first impression of her had been; her eyes shifted like leaves in a storm.

But there were stronger things in the world than any colour an eye could shift to. Things like my beast.

He could never be allowed to have her. So I’d walk away as many times as I had to.

Finn

‘You are
not
bringing three packs.’

I looked at my brother, then back at the three packs I’d stuffed full to the brim. ‘Why not?’

‘Explain to me how you’re going to carry them.’

‘Well …’ I smiled sweetly at him.

‘No way. I’m not helping you indulge your clothing fetish. You couldn’t possibly need this much stuff.’

‘We’re going to Sancia! It’s the fashion capital! How am I supposed to know what to wear before we get there?
And
who knows how long we’ll be away.’

He shook his head with disbelief. ‘You’re bringing one pack, light enough to travel with.’

‘But –’

‘One
.’

‘You, dreaded brother, are the bane of my life,’ I grumbled, moodily unpacking. In response he kissed me noisily on the cheek and I shoved him away.

When we were ready (carrying one measly pack each) we stopped outside Da’s bedroom. He was tired today, too tired to get up. Jonah sat on the bed and spoke to him, but I waited by the door, something hardening inside my chest with suffocating severity.

They both looked over at me, but I couldn’t go in. I couldn’t.

I looked at Da across the room. ‘My girl,’ he said to me, then he touched his fingers to his lips and sent me the kiss. I did the same, touching my lips. My teeth were clenched so hard I thought they might shatter. Then I
walked out of the house I’d lived my entire life in, and some part of me didn’t know if I’d ever make it back here.

Thorne was waiting for us on the road. The sun was high and he had his face turned up to enjoy the warmth of it. I caught sight of him and felt a quick heat curl in my stomach. Travelling with the hated Prince of Pirenti … this trip was going to be fun. I’d see to it.

Penn bounded ahead and jumped on Thorne’s back as though they were long lost brothers.

‘Traitor,’ Jonah muttered.

The prince turned and saw us, lifting his hand. ‘It was generous of you to offer to travel with me,’ he greeted us. ‘I’d be grateful to take you up on the offer, if it still stands.’

His eyes found mine.

‘Only if you carry my pack for me.’

‘Of course,’ he offered quickly.

I laughed. ‘Gods, I’m
kidding
. This is going to be fun.’

Thorne blushed.

‘You’d better be able to keep up,’ was all Jonah said to him. Between my manipulation and his rudeness, what a great impression we must be making for our country. I had no idea why the poor guy even
wanted
to travel with us.

The four of us set off down the road, packs slung over our backs. I whistled in the morning sun, feeling lighter with each step.

We came to the edge of the farm that belonged to Linas of Rora and I took a good look around before hoisting myself over the fence.

‘What are you doing?’ Thorne asked me, alarmed.

‘Best apples in the whole region.’

Jonah and Penn climbed over and the three of us ducked low in the long grass.

‘You’re thieves now too?’ the prince asked, and despite his polite tone, I could hear the disapproval hidden beneath the words.

I winked at him then crept forward, on the lookout for Linas’ dogs. I’d spent most of my life stealing these apples, and it had only taken a few bites from the sharp canine teeth to instill me with a bit of caution. As we reached the tree I swung up into the branches, while Jonah and Penn kept a lookout below. I lobbed a few down to my brother, then climbed higher, wanting the juiciest fruit from the top.

Poking my head over the highest branches, I had a good view of the road below. Thorne was a still figure upon it, arms folded, back turned to our criminal activity. I couldn’t help smiling with amusement at the giant pole he seemed to have stuck up his backside.

Picking as many of the best apples as I could, I stuffed them into my pockets and started swinging down. I was nearly at the ground when I heard the barking.

A thrill struck through me and I jumped recklessly to the ground, tumbling hard and scraping my whole right side.

‘Penn, grab the dogs,’ Jonah told him and then we sprinted for the fence. Penn gave a low whistle and the dogs ran straight for him. I glanced over my shoulder to see them stop at his feet and give a soft whine as he made them submit with a few motions of his hand.

Grinning, I lunged for the fence and hurdled over it, landing with a kick of the dusty road.

‘Where’s Penn?’ Thorne demanded worriedly.

‘We left him to be eaten,’ I replied, opening my pack to grab a juicy red apple. Looking straight at Thorne, I took a huge bite and gave a groan of delight. Jonah laughed and munched on his ill-gotten fruit too.

Thorne went to the fence to look for Penn, but the boy was already climbing back over. The dogs had followed him, tails wagging for love of him.

I threw Penn an apple as we set off.

‘Will I offend your delicate sensibilities if I offer you one?’ I asked Thorne. He shook his head, and I figured by the look on his face that it meant no to the apple, not the question.

‘She’s the meanest old bag in the realm,’ Jonah defended us.

‘So she deserves to be stolen from?’

I rolled my eyes, walking ahead so I didn’t have to endure Thorne’s extremely boring self-righteousness.

‘You’re good with dogs,’ I heard him say to Penn.

‘They’re good with me,’ came the boy’s response.

Jonah caught up to me. ‘Why did you invite the stiff?’

I shrugged, not really sure now. ‘Thought it might be fun.’

‘It’s like having Da along,’ he muttered and I cracked a smile. ‘There’s something … off about him. Do you feel it?’

I glanced over my shoulder at Thorne. He was listening intently as Penn recounted one of his favourite stories about his grandma’s dog. I knew exactly what Jonah was talking about – there was something distinctly unsettling about the northern prince. Something that chafed on a deep, instinctive level. Like a scent, but more intimate.

I nodded once and admitted, ‘I think it’s why I invited him.’

We stopped for lunch on a hill covered in wildflowers. Penn started picking and threading them together into a garland, too distracted to eat. Thorne was inhaling an impossible amount of food, and I couldn’t help but share an amazed look with Jonah. I wolfed down some bread and cheese myself, then hopped to my feet and moved to the very top of the hill. From here I could see the ocean, as the road we were following hugged the coast closely.

Thorne appeared at my side. ‘Are you in pain?’

I frowned, not understanding. He gestured to my arm, and I realised it was scraped raw and covered in dirt from when I’d jumped out of the tree. Beads of blood had slid down towards my wrist.

‘You didn’t notice that?’

‘It’s barely a scratch,’ I scoffed. Something about my warder blood had always made me more able to deal with pain than most. I had so much adrenalin running through me that I often didn’t notice wounds until they got bad.

‘It needs to be cleaned and wrapped.’

I shrugged. ‘Later.’

Thorne walked to his pack and removed his canteen, plus a bandage. I watched, surprised, as he wet the material and used it to wipe my arm clean. It stung slightly. ‘What are you doing?’

‘You may be intent on an early grave, but I’d rather not watch you get there.’

I smiled slowly. ‘You’re right. We shouldn’t add to the number of people who die each year of a scratch on the arm.’

I watched his face closely and saw it: the edges of his lips twitching.

Thorne handed me the bandage and told me to wrap my arm; he hadn’t touched my skin even once in the process of cleaning it, and the realisation peaked my curiosity. In the cave, it might have been purely circumstantial that he hadn’t shaken my hand. I had offended him with the trick, after all. But to be so careful now felt deliberate and I was immediately suspicious. Though I normally tried to avoid touching people, I determined to feel Thorne’s skin before the day was out.

As I bandaged my arm he went to pack up our lunch remains. Penn had finished his garland and presented it to me with a flourishing theatrical bow.

‘For you, my lady.’

‘Thank you, kind sir.’

I settled the flowers atop my head, feeling Thorne’s gaze upon me.

‘Don’t your friends give you gifts, Thorne?’ I asked him pointedly, daring him to explain why he seemed to be staring at me with such disapproval.

His eyes dropped a moment, then met mine bravely. ‘I don’t have any friends, Finn.’

Which pretty much made me feel like the worst person in the world. ‘Oh,’ I blurted eloquently.

Penn presented him with a second garland. ‘Of course you do.’

Thorne stared at the boy, and then he reached out to take the flowers and put them on his head. ‘Thank you,’ he said, and it was such a sweet moment that I knew I shouldn’t wreck it, but I honestly couldn’t help it. A laugh bubbled out of me and then I couldn’t contain it – I was giggling hysterically at the sight of the big brute wearing flowers on his head. Jonah started laughing too, and then, thankfully, so did Thorne. Pretty soon we were all cracking up. And I knew why he’d wanted to travel with us, even though we hadn’t been in any way welcoming: he had no one else.

By sundown we’d reached a small town with a seaside tavern in which to stay the night. As we pushed our way into the crowded dining hall, I grinned to see that it had been decorated with fishing nets and sand all over the floor. Shells adorned the walls, and beautifully carved pelicans sat on the bar.

Every patron stared at Thorne, and I saw with chilling clarity several gazes turn white. It became obvious how much danger we were all in, and I grinned. Jonah requested two rooms and I ordered us some ale. I’d be damned before I cowed in fear from these bigoted idiots. Shoving my way
back through, I saw that the boys had found us a booth, and I slid in beside my brother.

‘Cheers!’ I announced, clanging my pitcher against Thorne’s and spilling half his drink on the table.

He was watching the people around us with a calculating gaze. Penn was fidgeting nervously, sensing the animosity in the atmosphere. Jonah simply gazed into his ale moodily.

‘Gods almighty,’ I sighed. ‘You lot are boring.’

‘Don’t do anything stupid, Finn,’ Jonah warned.

‘Me?’ I asked innocently. ‘Have I
ever
done anything stupid in my entire life?’

Despite his mood, it made Jonah laugh.

Thorne wiped the spilled ale with his sleeve and I saw my chance, reaching out to do the same and pretending to bump against him. He was too swift though, removing his arm before I could get skin to skin. He gave me a funny look and I arched my eyebrows innocently.

Three men arrived at our table, fishermen from the village. Wind-bitten cheeks and blond beards. Hard, white eyes.

‘Your kind aren’t welcome here,’ the one in the middle said to Thorne. That hadn’t taken long.

‘Actually,’ I said, ‘legally they’re welcome anywhere.’

The fisherman scowled at me. ‘The great northern brute needs a little girl to speak for him?’

‘Careful,’ Jonah said. ‘You’ll sound like the northern brutes yourself with a sexist comment like that.’

‘Stand up and face us,’ a second man said.

Thorne rose slowly to his feet. I could see the reluctance in every one of his muscles. And a terrible kind of resignation. They weren’t expecting his size, regardless of what they knew about men from Pirenti. He towered over
them, and I saw their expressions turn to fear. Which meant there would be violence here. I could feel it.

My hands came up without me noticing. Jonah grabbed them, squeezing them tightly to stop me from doing anything illegal.

‘We’re not afraid to face your kind,’ the fisherman said and to his credit, he didn’t sound frightened.

Thorne leant forward, a strange light in his eyes, and he breathed in deeply through his nose. Very softly, so softly I almost missed it, he murmured, ‘Your scent says otherwise.’

It struck cold inside me. And I think it did the same for every person who heard it. But the difference between them and I was that I also felt a deep, gut-wrenching thrill.

Several things happened at once.

The fisherman’s hand went to his cutlass –

Jonah rose to his feet –

Thorne reached out –

I lurched forward –

And then everyone froze.

Somehow, there was a glinting knife at the neck of the fisherman. I blinked, peering around to see what looked like the glimpse of a ghost in the tavern. She was snow white and blood red. She looked like a demon and had appeared out of nowhere. And she held two long, sinister knives to the man, one at his carotid, the other at his kidneys.

‘Move and you’ll spill all over the floor,’ she told him gently. And Gods there was something terrifying about the sound of her voice. Something in the desire of it. I couldn’t tell if she was a child or a woman, so small and slender was she. Hair and skin so white it was purest snow; eyes of the bloodiest red I’d ever seen.

‘What the fuck?’ the fisherman grunted, then hissed at his friends, ‘
Do something
.’

We now had the whole damned tavern watching us in alarmed silence. I imagined this must be what it was like for Thorne all the time in his own country – fighting in tavern brawls and the like – but here it was unusual for a Kayan to draw a blade against anyone. Or it had been, before the Sparrow had gained power over the south.

The fisherman’s two friends pulled their cutlasses free and my mind raced, trying to work out what to do, but – once again – I was saved any effort.

The girl moved, so fast I barely caught it. Her right knife swept out to take the man at her side through the fingers; his blade fell to the ground along with three of his digits. At the same time, her left knife nicked straight through the other man’s ear, taking a chunk of it, and then both knives were back in their original spot without the slightest hint that she’d moved at all.

Screams rent the air; both men dropped to the ground to clutch at their wounds as they sprayed blood all over the sandy floorboards.