Tight Knit (9 page)

I laugh to myself as I walk to class and startle a freshman walking toward me. Her eyes go wide and she moves to the other side of the hall.

“Better hurry, Sweetie you’re gunna be late.” I smile at the girl. She’s cute. It’s also cute how her mouth turns into a startled ‘O’ as she tries to think of something to say. I just keep walking. I have no time for these girls. The coy games are lost on me. I like a girl who can think on her feet; has snappy comebacks. 

Like Talia. 

No, I can’t like Talia. She’s a mess and I’m a mess. What a disaster. 

She does have a great ass though.

I round the corner on the way to my locker and am ambushed by three girls. 

“Lachlan, right?” the blonde one says rolling her eyes up and pointing at me like she had to think about my name. 

Nice try, short skirt,
I think letting my eyes take in the length of her. She’s way too skinny. 

I nod and her two minions giggle. 

Blonde stares. So I hold my hands out to the side of my body and scrunch my shoulders. 

“Is that all?” I ask. All three of them exchange a glance that they seem to understand, but I don’t know what it means. 

“Um, no,” the brunette chimes in. “We were wondering about Hat Girl?” 

I feel like I’m in a different universe whenever I talk to anyone in school. 

“What about her?” 

I’m all for girls, and their short skirts, but sometimes it’s just ridiculous.

“Could you maybe, get her to make us one?” 

I laugh.

“A hat? I’m not her agent, ladies. Ask her yourself.” 

I step around them but Blonde grabs my arm. The one with the scars. 

I yank it from her grip harder than I mean to. 

Her perfectly manicured eyebrows are straight up and the glittery shadow she’s wearing make her eyes appear huge and wide. 

“I’m sorry.” The girl still has her hand out. I try to brush it off and force a smile.

“It’s cool. But seriously, Talia’s cool. Just go talk to her.” 

I’m backing away. I hope they can’t hear my heart because it’s all I can hear. 

The girls exchange another look. Confusion.

“I haven’t seen her talk to anyone but you since the start of school.” 

I start to laugh but stop myself when I realize she’s serious.

“No one?”

“She’s kind of a loner. I don’t think she likes people. Well, Janna I guess, but they’re fighting I think.” She looks to her friends for confirmation, but I don’t give a shit about the last part. 

~

Talia is waiting outside her house when I pull up in Gram’s car. I figured she wouldn’t be interested in another ride on the motorbike. I get out and walk around the car. 

She smiles, her lips glossy and pink. Other than that she wears no makeup. Her hair’s braided down the side under a grey hat with a thick knitted band. Her bangs are tucked in making her eyes that much bluer against her pale skin. I scan her body. I like how she fills out her jeans and off the shoulder sweater in all the right places. Her belt cinchs the wool sweater at her waist and she holds a long coat in her arms. 

When my eyes reach hers again, her cheeks are flushed and she won’t look directly at me. She’s nervous and is biting at her shiny bottom lip. Suddenly, I want that lip in my mouth. The feeling startles me, and I have to push down the thoughts that start to pop into my head. 

We’re friends. Just friends.

“So we’re going to a get together tonight,” I say casually and open the door for her. Her blue eyes hold mine and I can hear her breathing speed up. 

“What does that mean?”

I laugh. She totally doesn’t trust me. Not that I blame her. “It’s small, so no need to hyperventilate.” 

Talia glares. 

Shit. I forgot about the anxiety thing. 

I walk around to the driver side and as I get closer my heart starts to beat faster. I have no idea why I’m taking her with me. I have no idea why I want her to be there with me. 

But it feels right for her to be with me. I feel like she’ll understand. But I’m still nervous. No, not nervous. Terrified. 

Why am I dragging her into this? I can’t even do right by Gram.

~

 “So you never told me what you meant by get together?” Talia asks as she turns, watching me drive. My heart pounds, I’m making a mistake. Why would I ever think she would be okay with this?

“You’ll see.” 

She opens her mouth to say something so I reach over and pat her leg. I snatch my hand back. What a grandma thing to do.

“You’ll see when we get there. Tell me a story or something. We have a few minutes to kill.”

I look at her fully this time. She is definitely attractive. Her thick arched eyebrows are scrunched together. I’m guessing she’s deciding whether to push me or not. I grip the steering wheel tighter. I’m flip-flopping between excitement, dread and guilt. I still don’t know why I am bringing her. Hell, I don’t know why I need to do this in the first place.

“Tell you a story about what?” she asks.

I relax a little and smile at her. 

“About you, Hat Girl. About how you became Hat Girl.” 

“I didn’t realize I had become Hat Girl.” She says it so seriously that I laugh. Loudly. 

“Oh come on, Talia. Everyone at school calls you Hat Girl. I actually got ambushed today by a trio of hairspray and glitter asking if I could get them one of your hats.” 

She frowns and I laugh again.

“Seriously? You didn’t know that. Wow, you really do live under a rock.” 

“Who said I live under a rock?” She crosses her arms. I’m pissing her off and I like it. Although I’m not sure why she chooses that to be the most offensive thing I’ve ever said.

“I did.” 

“Well, I don’t.” 

“Ha! When’s the last time you left your house?” 

She opens her mouth again but I cut her off.

“With someone who wasn’t 100 years old... or to visit your grandma?” 

Her glare deepens and her chest rises and falls rapidly. 

“I, I, I don’t have to defend myself to you. To you of all people.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” It isn’t fun now that she is turning it around on me. The twitch in my jaw starts. 

“You come from a different world than me, Lachlan.” 

She’s never said my name before and it makes my skin tingle. 

“You and your tough guy crap. Just because I don’t go out and party and do drugs and screw people doesn’t mean I don’t have fun.” 

I’m taken aback. Is that what she thinks of me? I glare at the road and for a brief moment. I feel ashamed. Ashamed of my reputation, of my lifestyle, of myself. But I don’t do those things any more. She needs to know that. I need her know that but I have no idea why.

“Is that what you think I do?” I force a glare at her and she shrinks into the car seat. Her eyes are so wide, so big I feel I could crawl into them. I kind of want to. 

She nods slowly. I clench my jaw tighter and fight back the slew of curse words that are always my first response. 

I reposition my hands on the steering wheel and stare straight ahead. The sunlight glares off the road and I squint. 

We drive in silence until I stop the car in front of a little church. I can feel Talia staring at me. When I look at her I’m prepared for a fight. I’m always prepared for a fight.

“I’m sorry I said that. It wasn’t fair,” she says. 

I nod. That’s not what I was expecting. She plays with the hem of her sweater.

“I should know what it’s like for people like us,” she continues. 

Us?

“What do you mean people like us?” 

She blushes and I want to touch her face. 

Shit, I do like this girl. This is bad.

“I just mean that people don’t know what really goes on,” she points to her head, “in here, you know?” 

I nod again. I’m afraid if I open my mouth I’ll tell her everything. I want to tell her about him, the tattoos, the scars, the memories. I guess in about five minutes she’s going to know some of it. Showing her will be easier than telling her. 

My stomach jumps. In five minutes she’s going to know things about me I’ve spent the last two years burying so deep that no one could find them. 

For some crazy, fucked up and completely unknown reason, I feel like this is the right thing to do. 

Talia glances out the window then back at me. She seems confused but I can see the curiosity there too. There has to be adventure lurking somewhere deep in Talia Gregory and I’ve decided I’m going to find it. 

“Um, Lachlan? Why are we at a church?”  

I grin at her.“Church is the best place for a first date. Isn’t it?” 

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Talia

I’m not sure if I should laugh. The look on his face says he’s joking but after one more glance out the window I’m positive we’re parked in front of a church.

“What’s going on, Lachlan?” I ask. I have a feeling this means something to him. He goes pale every time I ask him what ‘get together’ means. He refuses to answer and the way he’s so casually leaning against the car seat, his shoulders hunched and his arm thrown lazily across the back of my seat tell me this place means something to him. I decided after the diner and the Knitting Club meeting that the more relaxed Lachlan seems, the more uptight he actually feels. 

If I’m right, and something serious is happening, then I have no idea why he would want to bring me along. 

He watches me carefully, his eyes burning with intensity but the rest of him is casual. 

“It’s my birthday in a couple months,” he says. 

“Oh?” I shift in my seat, suddenly uncomfortable. “Happy birthday.” 

He chuckles and my face heats up. What was I supposed to say?

“Which means I’ll be 18. I’m done with probation.” He’s still watching me. Searching for something. His arms cross in front of his chest, pulling his T-shirt tighter over his shoulders. 

I wonder what he’s protecting himself from. Everyone knows he’s been to Juvie. 

“Congratulations.” I smile at him and his eyebrows furrow which makes the smile fall from my face.

“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?” I ask. 

He nods. 

What is this guy about?
 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I cross my arms this time. 

His face quickly softens and that real authentic Lachlan, the one I’m starting to like shows up. 

He clears his throat. 

“I, uh, I still have to go to support meetings though. I thought maybe you’d come with me. The woman who runs it is always on me that I don’t have anyone my own age-” 

It's really strange seeing him like this. Suddenly he’s not looking at me. Scratching his elbow nervously. Cracking his knuckles. 

“Your own age?” 

“Yeah, anyone who’s a friend that isn’t part of, uh, my past life.”

My heart sinks when he says friend. Why am I upset about that?

“Of course I’ll come with you.” I have about a million questions about this ‘support meeting’ but I restrain myself. 

I can’t just pounce on him for information. He isn’t Janna,
I think and there is a shot of pain that sparks in my chest at the thought of her. 

“I know I didn’t really give you a choice or anything. But you said that day after the diner that you couldn’t help me if I didn’t tell you.” 

He scratches the back of his neck. My limbs go all soft and fluttery and my stomach feels like it’s floating. I don’t know why I feel like this is such a huge deal, but I think for him it is. That crack in his facade I saw after the motorbike ride has opened up again. His face is tight and his eyes are wide. I feel like he’s trying to see inside me. 

“Tell me what?,” I speak softly, trying to encourage him, not startle him out of finishing this confession.

“Well, I have a hard time talking about shit, you know?”

Obviously.

“So I thought I’d bring you here. You’ll figure it out faster than I can tell you. I’m pretty fucked up, Hat Girl. I just want you to know that.” 

I sit back, unaware that I had been leaning forward more and more with each of his words.

“Do you really have to swear so much?” I don’t mean for these words to be my first, but this is what comes out.

He laughs again, relaxing back into his seemingly confident self. He cuts the engine to the car and then puts his hand on my shoulder. It sends a tingle down my arm where his thumb touches the skin of my collar bone. 

“If my
swearing
is what concerns you the most about everything I’ve just said then I think you’ll be just fine in there.” He nods toward the church and squeezes my shoulder. 

~

Lachlan’s standing in front of the large wooden doors, his hand on the knob, but he won’t open it. I’m just about to ask what’s wrong when he turns to me with a expression of apprehension. 

“I’ve never wanted to bring anyone here before. But I just feel like you’ll get it.” 

His face scrunches up as if he’s thinking about what he just said and isn't happy about it. He swings open the door and gestures for me to go in first. I watch him as I walk past but whatever was just there, whatever emotion he was trying to suppress is gone. 

He places his hand on the small of my back and lightly guides me through the warm church foyer to another set of doors. His touch makes me forget what he was just saying, and I just watch his face as we move to the next room. The way he takes in everything as if it were the only thing makes me shiver, especially when he directs that intense gaze my way.

“You okay?” he asks. His hand is still on that curve where my back slopes out to connect with my butt.  

I nod because I don’t trust my voice. A support meeting. Support for what? Why did I not think of this before? Why would he bring me here? Why me? Why now?

I snap my wrist a couple times before I feel a hand on my face. My mind spins and I can’t focus. Breath on my ear.

That tune. I blink and he’s stroking my cheek, still humming. How does he do that? He snaps me out of it faster than Nan. 

“I’m sorry, Talia. I shouldn’t have brought you.”