'Til Death (10 page)

              "Ciara?" Boan whispered in my ear.

              "Mhmmm," I moaned.

His strokes were slow and steady. "Do you want this? Do you want
us
?" Boan asked me. His pace began to quicken. My breathing pattern changed. I was trying to hold back my orgasm to prolong it but it was nearing fast. I felt it in my toes. My stomach started to clench. "Yesss . . ." I moaned.

              "No more secrets." Boan enforced.

I moaned into his neck. I couldn’t hold back. I released my orgasm. Boan pulled out, kissing me slow and gently rubbing his penis against my clitoris causing me to have another quick orgasm. He trailed kisses down my neck, took my nipples into his mouth, his fingers once again finding his favorite playground. His fingers began to play my favorite tune, and had me singing in no time. He trailed light feather-kisses down my stomach, and took my belly ring in his mouth. I felt him blow on my valley, and I shuddered.

              "Wait, Boan . . . I’m sensitive."

He licked my inner thighs and made his way head-first into me. I felt his tongue flick my pearl, and I tried not to squirm but I couldn't take it and tried to move away, but Boan gripped me and pulled me closer. Boan gave the best head I’d ever received. Boan was the best in everything. He was the epitome of perfection in my eyes, especially in the bedroom. Boan’s rapid tongue movements and fingers were driving me crazy. I was trying to push his head away, but he wouldn’t move. I began to shake and jerk, and Boan sucked all of me into his mouth. He leaned up on his knees and looked down at me with a grin on his face. I couldn’t take anymore. I turned away from him and laid on my stomach. Boan spread my legs and laid on top of me. Boan intertwined his fingers with mine. I felt his dick at my opening. I wiggled, and pushed into him. Boan pushed his way inside me. His thrust was slow and gentle. He kissed me all over my back. Boan gripped me tighter and released his seed inside me.

* * * *

              When I awoke, Boan wasn’t beside me. I looked around my bedroom and found a note in his handwriting, saying that he’d gone out. I laid back down. I was extremely tired, and I didn’t really feel well. I sat up and looked around my bedroom. A strange feeling came over me. I rushed into the bathroom and vomited in the toilet. I thought I was going to throw my life up. When I was done, I brushed my teeth and took a shower. I still felt nauseous. I went downstairs and drank some water and ate some crackers. I thought I was going to vomit again, but I was actually starving. I walked to my ‘fridge and looked at the calendar. I paused and stared at the calendar. I ran to my cell phone and dialed Tosh’s number.

              "This better be important, because I’m at work," Tosh said.

              "Bitch, call Lo and both of y’all come over right fucking now. Come over here, and bring a pregnancy test."

              "WHAT!?"

              "Yea, shit just got fucking real."

Boan

              I had received a phone call from Tez early in the morning. This nigga was saying he wanted to talk. My curiosity got the best of me, so I was sitting there in IHOP, looking at this nigga. If I’d had my gun, I probably would have deaded his ass right fucking then. All I wanted to do was go back home to my wife. Last night had been amazing. We hadn’t made love like that in a long time. I felt her in my soul last night. I was upset with my mother about this whole Brandon thing, so Ciara was all I really had at the moment. Tez was eating some breakfast and I was just staring at him.

              "You not hungry?" Tez asked me.

              "Naw."

              "You sure?" Tez looked at me and grinned.

              "Look, dawg, cut the bullshit and tell me why I’m here."

              "You know, you should be careful of what you go searching for; don’t know what you might find," Tez said, while leaning back.

              "What do you want?" I asked.

              "How well do you know your own wife, Boan? Bet you I know her better than you do." Tez remarked.

I got up and began to walk away.

              "I think you might want to stay and finish listening to what I have to say. I mean this affects you, Boan, more so than me. Especially since it's about your
wife
."

I paused and took a deep breath before I turned around and walked back to the booth Tez was sitting at. I just stood there, didn't say anything and watched him, waiting for him to finish his little speech.

              "Two years into your marriage, Ciara got pregnant. She got an abortion because she didn’t know who the baby’s father was. That’s why she wanted to get on birth control so bad, because she didn’t want to stop fucking me. I was your wife’s first. I popped her cherry. Not only that but when she was thirteen she got pregnant. Ask her what happened to that baby." I didn't respond. I couldn't.

              "See; you didn’t even know all of that. Ciara could have a secret kid out there. Let me rephrase that. Ciara and
I
could have a secret kid out there. You were never anything but a fucking shadow, following behind her like a fucking bitch. Sometimes we would sit back and laugh at your ass. When y’all first met, she bet you out of your car. That was a set-up. Gave that shit straight to me. Ciara’s never been anything but a conniving bitch. What makes you think she’s changed now, Barren?" Before I knew it, I was pounding his face in with my fist. His blood was all over my shirt. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tried to choke the life out of his yella bitch ass. I wanted to kill him with my bare hands, fuck a gun. People were pulling me off of him, but I felt possessed. I felt somebody wrapped their arms around me and pick me up. That kind of shocked me. I was being carried out of IHOP. I was pushed in the direction of my vehicle.

              "Get the fuck out of here! Go calm down!" I recognized the voice and turned towards it. It was Brandon, my father.

              I walked to my truck and started it up.  I flew down Jefferson. I was headed straight to Ciara’s. My heart was beating so fast that I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Tez had fucked my mind up. My hands were shaking, and I had blood on my shirt. I didn’t care. I probably looked like a serial killer. I was on the verge of becoming one. I didn’t even park straight. I opened up Ciara’s front door and slammed it after walking in. I followed the voices to the kitchen. When Ciara, Tosh, and Lo saw me, they all stopped talking. They looked at me in shock.

              "Boan? What . . ." Ciara said. She looked pale, like she was going to pass out.

              "I have some questions, and I need you to answer them. Honestly. Don’t fucking lie to me," I said calmly.

              "There is blood on your shirt."

              "I had an interesting conversation with Tez today. Two years into our marriage, did you get an abortion?" Ciara looked at me and tears hit her face. I already knew the answer, and before I knew it, I had tears on my cheek.

              "When you were thirteen you got pregnant? What happened?"

              "Boan, please I . . ."

              "What.The.Fuck.Happened?" I asked.

              "I had a girl, I had a baby girl," Ciara said. I heard Tosh and Lo gasp in shock. I ran up to Ciara and smacked her. I couldn’t control myself anymore. Ciara fell to the floor, bleeding out of her mouth. I grabbed Ciara by her shirt and slammed her into the refrigerator.

              “YOU HAD THIS NIGGA BABY?!!” I screamed. I heard Lo calling for Culprit. I slammed Ciara again. I wanted to kill her.

              "Yo, man, chill. Stop!" Culprit yelled, while pulling me away.

              "She is fucking pregnant, Boan!" Lo yelled.

              I let Ciara go, and she fell to the floor in a heap of tears. "What?" I asked barely above a whisper.

              "You got her pregnant. Ciara is pregnant," Tosh said. I looked at all of them and then I walked out.

Lo

              We all watched Boan walk out. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. Ciara remained on the floor crying. Culprit just walked out. Tosh reached for Ciara and pulled her up. I watched Ciara sit down in the chair. She wiped her face and didn’t say anything. Her face was bruising up. I just looked at her and shook my head. I didn’t know what to say. No, that was a lie. I knew exactly what to say, I just didn’t want to say it. My opinion on the situation wasn’t going to make the situation any better. Tosh stared into her glass of water as if it had all the answers.

              "Can you guys say something? Just anything," Ciara said.

              "There really isn’t anything to say," Tosh said.

              "There is a lot to say," I said. Ciara looked at me, and I looked away. I didn’t want to look at her.

              "What do you have to say?" Ciara asked me.

I just shrugged my shoulders.

              "Don’t do that, Lo. Don’t shut down on me." Ciara demanded.

              "What do you want me to say Ciara?" I begin to rub my temples, feeling a headache coming on.

              "Tell me how you feel." Ciara pleaded.

              "That’s fucked up. Not only did you lie to me, but you lied to Boan. You’ve been carrying this big secret like it’s normal. It’s not normal to have a whole child and abandon the kid." I finally fess up.

              "I didn’t abandon her!" 

              "Oh really? You just had her and left. Do you even know her name, or where she is? Do you even know what she look like and her name? Do you know anything about your own child? How could you just leave something that is a part of you? What type of person would do that?" I said, while looking at her. Ciara didn’t say anything, and just stared at me.

              "Lo . . . you don’t know anything. You think you know everything and have all the right answers, but you don’t know shit. Maybe the questions you’re asking me are really for your dead mother." Ciara retorted. That hurt me, and I wanted to slap the other side of her face.

              "Maybe we all just need to calm down." Tosh said calmly raising her hands to diffuse the situation.

              "No, fuck that. How the hell you going to be up in my house, judging me off of my mistakes? I didn’t judge you about your abortion. I didn’t get mad at you when you didn’t tell me about that." Ciara pointed out.

              "You had a fucking baby, Ciara. I didn’t."

              "And who’s fucking fault is that?" Ciara asked.

              "Fuck this," I got up from the kitchen island. I called Culprit’s name so we could go. I walked out of Ciara’s house, pissed because I knew I should have just kept my mouth closed and two, she was right. I didn't have my baby. Maybe I was wrong, and was mad for the all wrong reasons. What Ciara had done did remind me of my own mother. That’s probably why I was so mad. Culprit and I rode in silence, and we went to his house. I followed him to his kitchen. He fixed me a glass of water and I took a sip. I felt him staring at me.

              "Are you all right?" Culprit asked me.

              "It’s not really my problem," I said.

              "I know that, but Ciara is your girl. I know you got to feel some type of way."

              "Yea, I do. I’m upset about the whole thing. I feel lied to." I told him while rubbing the back of my neck.

              Culprit walked towards me and put his hands on my shoulder. He began to give me a massage.

"I mean, put yourself in her shoes. You had a hard time talking about the abortion, so imagine how she feels. She had to keep this secret forever, until now, and look how it came out." His touch was soft and reassuring, I found myself calming down.

              "Just relax. Things have been hectic for the past couple of days. And you’re right: it isn’t your problem, but you and Ciara is practically like sisters, and I know you’re going to make it your problem. Don’t judge her; help her get through this because she is going to need you now more than ever." Culprit was right. I started feeling badly for what I said to her and how I felt.

              "I love you," I whispered, but I knew he heard me.

              "I love you too," Culprit said.

Culprit

              I knew Lo was upset. She was starting to relax under my hands. I leaned in and kissed her neck.

              "Do you feel better?" I asked her.