'Til Death Do Us Part (27 page)

“
I
’
ll keep that in mind. I
’
m going to lie back do
wn,
”
Nicole told the crowd.

“
I
’
ll check
on you in a little while, honey,
”
Tracy told her.

“
Is she going to start waddling soon?
”
Travis asked.

“
I heard that
,
baby brother.
”
Nicole shouted.

“
Alright
,
let
’
s get back to work.
What ever
Mike has going on
,
I
’
m sure it
’
s important
and we should be ready for him,
”
Ron said before dismissing the group.

M
ike Journal Entry 5

“
Oh
, man, pass me a joint,
”
I told John as I sat up.
“
I don
’
t know which hurts more, my body from sleeping on the ground or my head from the acid and beer.
”

“
You should have slept on a cot,
”
John said
,
looking down at me from his Army-Navy surplus green canvas cot.

“
I didn
’
t know I had the option,
”
I told him. I didn
’
t know how long I had slept
,
but it was long enough that I was no longer tripping and that was fine by me.

“
You should have asked,
”
h
e said as he swung his legs over and reached into a little bag to produce a pre-spun joint.

“
John
,
how would I know to ask? Should I just randomly throw questions out there and see which ones stick?
”

John
’
s eyebrows were knitted together as he thought on my words.

“
Okay…
for instance, do you have a helicopter?
”
I asked him.

“
Of course.
”

“
Wait, what? Are you kidding me?
”

“
Why would I do that? Kid
,
I mean. I have a Safari two-seater kit helicopter.
”

“
Okay I
’
m going to try and hit the pertinent points all in one shot. First
,
does it work?
”

“
Yup.
”

“
Second, can you fly it?
”

“
Yup.
”

“
Wait…real quick…
so you don
’
t have a license to drive your van
,
but you have whatever license it takes to fly a helicopter?
”

“
A lot more people on t
he roadways than in the air,
”
h
e answered.

“
Got me there. On to the bonus round where the right answers are worth double.
”

“
E
xcellent I love the bonus round,
”
John said excitedly.
“
So how many points are we talking about?
”

“
The sky
’
s the limit!
”
I said
,
going along with his madness.

He paused for a moment.
“
I get it! Because it flies!
”

“
That
’
ll work, hey
,
John the Tripper
,
can I shorten your name up to Trip?
”

“
Is this still the bonus round?
”

“
Added bonus maybe.
”

John
’
s lip started to quiver a bit.

“
You alright
,
man?
”
I asked him.

“
That
’
s what my wife calls me. I miss her
,
man.
”

“
I
’
m sorry
.
I didn
’
t me
a
n to bring up any bad feelings.
”

“
Naw
,
it
’
s cool,
”
h
e told me.
“
You can call me Trip, it helps me to remember.
”

“
She
’
s not really in
Washington
is she
,
Trip?
”

“
No.
”
He bur
ied
his face in his hands.
“
It
’
s worse.
”

“
We
’
ve all lost people we love
, Trip. T
here
’
s no shame in showing it,
”
I said
,
standing so that I could rub his shoulder.

“
She
’
s in
Philly
,
”
h
e sobbed.

“
Trip
,
what the hell are you talking about?
”

“
My wife, she
’
s
not in
Washington
she
’
s in
Philly.
”
His wails started anew.

“
I
’
m confused
, man,
”
I told him.

“
The City of Brotherly L
ove, how can you not know about it?
”

“
I know about Philly,
and
I
’
m not sure why that
’s
such bad news
. I
t
’
s actually good because she
’
s that much closer.
”

“
She is?
I figured Philly was another country, you know
‘
PA
’
for Panama.
”

“
It
’
s more like
‘
PA
’
for Pennsylvania.
”
I hastily drew a rough representation of the United States and the states in question. John
’
s face was beginning to register the new information. I desperately wanted to get home
,
but his wife was not
entirely
out of the way and I would feel better if he had company. I shuddered thinking of him stopping to ask some
‘
funkies
’
for directions.

“
Want to go get her?
”

“
More than anything, followed closely by seeing Jerry Garcia.
”

I didn
’
t tell him that our odds were better of seeing Jerry than his wife.
“
Let
’
s do it then, back to the helicopter.
”

“
Bonus round,
”
h
e sniffed.

“
Bonus round,
”
I echoed.
“
Can we get to it
,
or is it in Philly
or D.C.
,
too?
”
I asked
,
trying for some levity.

“
Asheville Regional Airport, it
’
s about
twenty-five
miles from here.
”

“
So not Philly then, that
’
s good.
”

“
What
’
d I win?
”
h
e asked expectantly.

“
An all expenses paid trip to Rocky
’
s hometown.
”

“
The squirrel?
”

“
What? No not Rocky and Bullwinkle. Rocky the boxer.
”

John was slowly shaking his head from side to side.

“
Sylvester Stallone, famous series of movies.
”

“
Never heard of them.
”

“
How about the home of the Cheesesteak?
”

“
Who puts cheese on a steak?
”

“
You
’
re killing me. The City of Brotherly
love
,
man, we
’
re going to go get your wife.
”

“
Wow
,
that
’
s awesome! What a great prize to win!
”
h
e said
,
clapping his hands.

I had to admit, it was nice to not be the craziest person in a group
,
but I wasn
’
t really sure what footing that le
ft
us on…
if any.
“
We
’
re going to need another car. Any chance you got one waiting somewhere?
”

“
No
,
and it
’
s not much fun going out the other side.
”

“
So that hole does lead out then?
”
I asked, pointing to the other side of the cavern.

“
It longer and narrower than the one we came in from.
”

“
You
’
re kidding
,
right?
”
But I already knew the answer.
John wasn
’
t much of a kidder. Right now
,
asking the
‘
funkies
’
to move seemed like a better option.
“
Maybe we could widen it,
”
I said.

“
It
’
s carved through rock, that one
’
s natural.
”

I was already starting to breath
e
heavily and we weren
’
t even in the damn thing yet.
“
Trip
,
I don
’
t know. I have this thing about tight places.
”