To Have and to Hold (18 page)

Stephanie started to giggle.

Dad did, too.

Madison stood back, watching the two of them say their last good-night as singles. Of course, she had to turn away when they kissed. Madison dreamed of kissing boys more than she dreamed of almost anything else. But right now, the sight of her dad locking lips with Stephanie made her a little queasy.

After Dad and Stephanie finally parted for good, waving and blowing more kisses, Dad wandered over to a few of the other guests and shook their hands. Madison sat down at a table alone, picking at a snag on the tablecloth. The blue, digital clock on the wall said 10:11.

A moment later, Dad came over and knelt in front of Madison. “What are you doing all the way over here?” he asked.

“I’m waiting for you. Can we go now?” Madison asked. “You told Stephanie we were leaving. So why are we still here?”

“Hold on!” Dad said. He stood up again and held up a single finger, as if to say
Just one more minute.

Madison slumped back in her chair.

Who was Dad going to talk to now
?

Madison didn’t feel like saying good night to anyone else—especially not Tiffany.

Fifteen minutes later, when Dad finally returned to collect Madison and head for the door, Madison’s mood lifted.

They walked out of the restaurant into the hot Texas night air.

A taxicab was there, waiting to take them back to the hotel.

T
HE RIDE BACK TO
the Bellville Villas was surprisingly quiet, as if Madison and Dad had run out of things to say.

The only real sounds were the sound of Dad humming to himself (it sounded like one of the love songs that had been playing at the rehearsal), and the low drone of crickets and other insects outside.

Madison spied the Texas moon through the window of the car and made a quick wish.

Please don’t let this wedding happen.

No sooner had she thought the words, however, than Madison wanted to take them back. How could she wish for something so …
unkind
?

All the same, Madison had real reasons for wanting to see the wedding called off. She would have to recount them in a file as soon as she had a chance.

1. Mrs. Wolfe wasn’t playing fair, and Madison didn’t want a step-grandmother like that. Besides, what did Madison want with a new cousin like Tiffany?
   
2. Mega-omens were all around. Madison was worried. Was Dad’s union with Stephanie doomed? It sure felt like it. Madison had spent the last year saddened by the Big D. She wasn’t sure she could deal with the Big D-2.
   
3. Somewhere inside, in a teeny little corner of her heart, Madison still secretly wanted Mom and Dad to get back together. Was it so wrong to hope, even though she knew Mom and Dad could not get along, and even though she knew they had tried to get back together and failed?
   

Dad kept up his humming as they got out of the taxi, rode upstairs in the elevator, and walked down the corridor to the hotel rooms.

Madison pushed her card key into the door first.

“I’ll come in with you,” Dad said, following her inside.

“Oh,” Madison said. “You will?”

Dad let out a huge breath as soon as they’d walked inside. “I can’t believe I’m getting married tomorrow, can you?” he asked.

“Nope,” Madison said, collapsing onto the bed.

“What a whirlwind,” Dad said, wiping his brow. He smiled. “Stephanie and I were talking tonight about how great it’s going to be once we get back to Far Hills.”

“Great,” Madison said under her breath.

“Don’t you think it will be great?” Dad asked. He eyed Madison up and down. “What’s with the sour-puss?”

“Nothing,” Madison grumbled.

Dad shrugged his shoulders and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Well, off to bed. I need my beauty sleep,” Dad joked.

Madison didn’t laugh. She clicked on the T.V. instead.

“First, I’m going to check and see if Uncle Rick and Aunt Violet or any of my other friends have checked in yet, okay?” Dad said.

Madison nodded without really looking at Dad.

“See you bright and early?” Dad asked.

Madison nodded. “Uh-huh,” she said, changing the channel.

As soon as Dad had gone out, Madison turned off the T.V. set and pulled out her laptop.

She didn’t need the tube. She needed a serious BFF fix.

Her e-mailbox blinked with a few messages—all of them from friends.

Bigwheels had written again. That was twice in one day!

Madison clicked on the e-mail.

From: Bigwheels


To: MadFinn


Subject: I almost forgot!!!


Date: Fri 19 July 4:03 PM


How are u? I know I just wrote this morning but I had 2 write again. I forgot 2 ask u to e-mail me n e photos from the wedding so I can see ur dress. I bet ur the prettiest girl there. That’s like something my mom would say. But I bet it’s true.


Hang in there.


Yours till the polka dots,


Bigwheels aka Vicki


Madison hit
SAVE
so she could write back to Bigwheels later.

Next, she found a message from Aimee.

From: Balletgrl


To: MadFinn


Subject: Fiona


Date: Fri 19 July 6:55 PM


Im writing b/c I know u would want to know that things here are pretty bad. I guess Fiona’s Dad had some kind of relapse and he’s back in serious or critical condition. I feel so helpless. Fiona cries all the time now. What am I supposed to do? I wish u were here so we BOTH could make her feel bettr. U have 2 hurry home!!


My mom says Mrs. Waters is not doing too well either which is a major bummer. I think my mom and your mom and Senora Diaz are all going over to Fiona’s house to help her deal with what’s happening. I’ll e-mail u more details l8r.


I miss you so much, Maddie. Fiona isn’t the same since all this happened and Far Hills feels so weird without you being here. I have a super long dance class tomorrow so I might not e-mail right back, but e me anyhow, please? Promise?


Love, Aim


Madison had to keep that promise in mind. It seemed more important than anything else just then. She couldn’t believe that she was sitting in the middle of Texas while her friends were going through such a rough time.

This wasn’t where she belonged. Was it?

Finally, Madison opened the last and final e-mail. She almost dropped her laptop when she read the “From” line.

It was from none other than Hart Jones.

From: Sk8ingBoy


To: DantheMan; TheEggMan; W_Wonka7; Peace-peep; L8RG8R; Wetwinz; Wetwins; Balletgrl; MadFinn; Rokstarr; 07l2biggy; DougLee; B_Foster; SkatrGod; Kickit88; CharlieX; JK4Ever; RosyROSE; Flowr99; LuvNstuff


Re: Summer BBQ Sat.


Date: Fri July 8:21 PM


Okay guys here’s the deal the BBQ is now starting l8r so don’t show up until after 12 ok? Thanx


p.s. we will be playing VB girls vs. boys, see ya


Madison’s stomach churned.

Fiona needed her.

Aimee missed her.

And Hart was having a barbecue?

Why wasn’t she in Far Hills
right now
?

“Wait a sec!” Dad said, walking back into Madison’s room. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw him come through the divider door.

There was no time to think about Fiona
or
Hart. Dad had one of those serious, “don’t mess with me” looks on his face.

Madison closed her laptop. “What’s up, Dad?” she asked.

“I should ask you the same thing,” Dad said.

Madison looked at Dad like he had three heads. “Huh?”

Dad nodded. “You hardly spoke all the way home.”

“Oh, Dad,” Madison sighed. “I’m fine.”

Dad leaned in close. “Maddie,” he whispered. “What’s wrong?”

Madison felt her stomach flip-flop. Maybe it was the words Dad was saying, or maybe it was the way he was saying them. She wasn’t sure. But those two words put her stomach in knots.

“Tomorrow,” Madison said simply, in response.

Dad closed his eyes. “You’re still not comfortable with the idea of me getting married, are you?”

“I can’t talk to you anymore about this….” Madison said. “It’s not like it would make a difference, anyhow.”

“Now what is
that
supposed to mean?” Dad asked.

“Nothing,” Madison grumbled. She lay back on the pillows and bit her lip. There was no way she was going to talk about that anymore. She wanted to get back to her e-mails from Aimee and Hart and everyone else.

“Look, Maddie,” Dad said. “I know this has been an insane trip. First your luggage got lost. Then we had trouble at the dinner the first night—and at all the parties. I wish I could do some things differently, believe me….”

“I miss home. I miss my friends,” Madison said.

“But you’ll see them in a day or so,” Dad said. Then he paused. “Oh. Are you talking about Fiona—and what happened with her dad?”

Madison looked away. “Maybe. Whatever.”

“Honey,” Dad said. “I know you want to be there for her. And you will be. Even though it’s hard, I really need you to be here for me, too.”

Madison closed her eyes. “I’m trying, Dad….”

“I can imagine how you feel, Maddie. You feel bad about Fiona. And, as far as the wedding goes, we’ve tried to make the plans work for you, but maybe that was just wishful thinking….” Dad said.

Madison rolled away from Dad.

“I don’t want you to be angry like this,” Dad said.

Madison sighed again.

“You have to talk to me more,” Dad pleaded.

But Madison wouldn’t talk. She wouldn’t cry. She held her breath and made her second huge wish of the evening.

Please make Dad just go away.

“Okay. I’m not leaving this bedroom until you talk to me,” Dad said.

He reached around and pulled Madison toward him. Madison found herself staring right into his big eyes.

“I don’t have anything to s—s—say….” Madison stammered, trying to look away so she wouldn’t get upset.

Dad sat down on the bed next to Madison. Their heads were side by side. It got very quiet in the hotel room.

“I wish I could explain to you how I feel right now. I’ve tried telling you before about me and Stephanie, but I am not sure you really have understood.”

“I know, I know,” Madison said. “I’m not a dummy, Dad.”

“I don’t think you’re a dummy, sweetheart. I just think that you need to look beyond the surface of things sometimes.”

Madison thought again about Bobcat Lake. She
did
see. Beyond the surface was muddier than muddy.

“Dad, can we talk about something else?” Madison asked.

“What else is there to talk about right now, Maddie?” Dad asked. He stared up at the ceiling.

“What are you thinking about now?” Madison asked, after a few more moments of silence.

“In ten hours, I will marry Stephanie, and more than anything else on this planet, I want
you
to be okay with it,” Dad said.

“I told you a zillion times, Dad, I’m okay with it,” Madison lied.

“I believed you before,” Dad said. “I’m not so sure anymore.”

Madison sat up on the bed. “Why don’t you believe me now?” she asked. “I can’t believe you don’t believe that I believe …”

Dad made a face. “What?”

“Oh, forget it!” Madison said, frustrated by her inability to articulate what was on her mind. “You know what I mean!”

“I believe that you want the best for me, Maddie….” Dad’s voice trailed off. He looked into her eyes. “Are you scared you might lose me?”

Madison gulped. She wasn’t willing to admit that. No way.

“What are you talking about?” Madison asked.

Dad nodded. “You know.”

“Are you
really
marrying Stephanie tomorrow?” Madison asked, as if
not
marrying Stephanie were an option Dad was considering.

“Of course I am,” Dad said, without hesitation.

“But her family is so weird,” Madison said. “And she’s so … neurotic. She practically bawled her eyes out that night in here with me. Definitely not a good sign, Dad. You need someone else. Someone better.”

“Oh, Maddie,” Dad said thoughtfully.

“I don’t get it, Dad,” Madison said.

“Love doesn’t always make sense, honey bear. You’ll find love yourself someday. Then you will know what I’m talking about.”

Pictures of Drew … and Kirk … and then
Hart
flashed through Madison’s mind.

Dad sounded like a Hallmark greeting card. But he was making some sense.

Someday she would find love.

“It’s getting late,” Dad said, finally lifting himself off the bed. “And
I’m getting married in the morning.
” He was singing the tune from
My Fair Lady.

“That’s it? You’re going?” Madison said, grabbing for his leg as she had done when she was little.

Dad gently grabbed her hands and pulled them away.

“Is Uncle Rick here yet?” Madison asked.

Dad nodded. “They’ll see us in the morning,” Dad said. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep now?”

“Right,” Madison said. “You have a big day tomorrow.”

“Correction,” Dad said. “
We
have a big day tomorrow.”

“Okay,
we
,” Madison said. She threw her arms around his waist. “We have a big day tomorrow. We. We. We.”

Dad turned and headed back into the adjoining room with a wink and a blown kiss. “You just sleep tight, Maddie,” he said as he pulled the door shut.

As soon as he had vanished from sight, Madison’s chest heaved. If her life had ever bordered on soap opera, Madison thought, it was doing so now.