Read To Have and to Hold Online
Authors: Laura Dower
Stephanie’s mother was out front, greeting guests with her painted-on red lips and mile-wide smile.
“Jeff!” Mrs. Wolfe screeched when Dad opened the door of Mike’s car and piled out, shaking the wrinkles out of his suit jacket and wiping a little perspiration off his forehead. “Where on earth have you
beeeeen
?”
Madison could see Dad’s shoulders slump. “We stopped for a bite on the way,” he joked.
Mrs. Wolfe looked appalled.
“Do you think it’s funny, Jeffrey?” she said, tsk-tsking Dad with a wave of her well-manicured fingertip. “I’ve got guests waiting….”
Just then, Stephanie appeared at the top of the steps.
“Jeff!” she cried, running to greet Dad with a big embrace. She looked over Dad’s shoulder and waved at Madison. “I guess Mother told you we were worried about you three.”
Stephanie reached out to give Mike a hello, too. He kissed her on the cheek and headed inside.
“Sorry. We hit some traffic,” Dad said, stuttering a little as he tried to explain. “Mike was driving as fast as he could.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Stephanie started to say.
“Hmmmph!” Mrs. Wolfe said. Despite Dad’s detailed explanation, she still looked unhappy. “Well, I’m a little worried myself. We’d better get in there, Stephanie Mae, or else the whole schedule tonight will be torn to bits.”
Madison watched Mrs. Wolfe ascend the steps into the house, shaking her head and carrying the train of her dress skirt so she wouldn’t trip.
Stephanie rolled her eyes so that only Dad and Madison could see.
“Stephanie …” Dad said in a low voice. Madison knew that voice. It was the way Dad sounded when he was stressed out.
“Don’t say it. Please,” Stephanie replied.
“We said this would be a small wedding, right?” Dad asked. “Well, I see about a hundred or more people here already for the rehearsal. What is that? I think I have been patient and tolerant and …”
“Jeff!” Stephanie said, turning her head toward Madison. “Maddie is right here. Can’t we talk about this when we have a moment alone?”
Madison tried to look away, but she heard everything.
“A moment alone?” Dad exclaimed. “Now, that’s a joke.”
Stephanie tugged Dad’s sleeve and pulled him out of earshot of the other guests, although Madison could still hear him loud and clear.
“We need to discuss this
privately
,” Stephanie said again.
Dad looked as though steam might blow out of his ears at any moment. His cheeks were getting red.
“There’s nothing to discuss,” he said. “This is not what I wanted. I didn’t think it was what you wanted, either. And yet, here we are. I brought Madison here all the way from New York. She’s miserable and uncomfortable. I’m not feeling all that great, either….”
Stephanie looked away as though she were on the verge of tears again.
“Please don’t do this, Jeff. Not now. Not right before everything starts.”
“Well, why don’t you tell me when it would be a good time?” Dad asked.
“This is my home,” Stephanie said. “Can’t we please get through the next day here? That’s all I ask.”
Dad shook his head. “We’ll talk later,” he said abruptly, and marched up the stairs without Stephanie and without Madison.
Stephanie headed up the stairs alone.
Madison stared straight ahead, not saying a word.
“Hey!” a voice chirped at Madison from somewhere behind her. It was Kirk.
“Hey,” she mumbled.
“Where’s your dad and Aunt Steph?” Kirk asked.
Madison shrugged. “Inside somewhere. They just walked in.”
“Want to go raid the hors d’oeuvres table over there?” Kirk asked. “There’s good stuff on it. Are you hungry?”
Madison shook her head. “Not really. But I’ll go with you.”
So they walked inside
together.
Although Madison was still distressed about not entering the party with Dad, she felt better walking inside with someone as cute as Kirk.
In addition to pots of budding Texas wildflowers, the entryway was bursting with music. The Wolfes had hired a local mariachi band to play for the rehearsal event. While guests entertained themselves with good food and good music, participating family members could sneak away for a run-through of the ceremony.
Madison was reminded of Drew’s parents’ theme parties. In fact, Drew’s mom and Stephanie’s mom had a lot in common. Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Wolfe both circulated at their own parties like queen bees. And Madison felt just as out of place here as she did sometimes at Drew’s house.
How was a person supposed to act at a fancy barbecue
?
Standing off to the side of one ballroom, Madison spotted Tiffany and some of the other cousins. Just as Madison had expected, Tiffany was dressed up like a Barbie doll, with every hair in place and every color matching. Madison looked down at her own peasant skirt and shirt. She felt under-dressed and over-wrinkled.
“Kirk!” Tiffany called out, excluding Madison from her hello.
“Tiff!” Kirk said.
Madison smiled in Tiffany’s direction. “You look nice tonight, Tiffany.”
“Gee, thanks a bunch!” Tiffany said, fluffing up a handful of her blond curls. She didn’t say a word about Madison’s outfit. She was too busy scanning the room.
“Let’s hit the food,” Kirk said with a grunt.
Madison laughed. He was like a dream boy, having all the best qualities of all her good guy friends. Right now, Kirk reminded Madison of Egg—or maybe Dan, the pig-out king.
“I’m not really hungry,” Tiffany said, pursing her lips.
“What are you—a person or a stick? You never eat,” Kirk snapped. “Well, Madison and I are making our move.”
Madison held in her giggles as she followed Kirk toward the long food tables.
“I feel like all anyone does around here is eat,” Madison said.
Kirk shoved a hunk of cheese and a cracker into his mouth. “Hmmmf?” he asked, chewing.
Madison chuckled and casually looked around the room to see if she could find Dad anywhere. She wanted to see if he was feeling better, or at least feeling a little less angry.
But he wasn’t in the room where they were standing.
A plate of mini-corn dogs distracted Kirk, so Madison wandered out onto a side patio. It had a full view of the property. On a side lawn she could see Stephanie and Mrs. Wolfe. Although Madison couldn’t make out what they were saying, she knew it was some kind of argument. Stephanie kept shaking her head and waving her arms in the air, while her mother motionless, her arms crossed in front of her.
Across the yard on the other side, Madison finally spotted Dad, standing by an old tree. He gazed off into the distance. A group of cattle stood flapping their tails at flies and nibbling at the grass. Near the cattle was a small lake. Madison knew it was Bobcat Lake, where the ceremony would be taking place the very next day.
At the same time, Madison saw Stephanie turn away from her mother and march across to where Dad was standing.
It was like watching a movie in slow motion.
“There you are!”
Madison whirled around to see Kirk at the doorway to the patio.
“Everyone’s looking for you,” Kirk said. “They want to start the wedding rehearsal. Aunt Steph and your dad and everyone are hanging near the lake. Come on!”
“Oh!” Madison said. She followed Kirk back in to the main part of the house, clutching her flowered purse close by her side. Madison unhooked the latch of the purse and pulled out the book of love poems. Then she followed Kirk back outside.
Dad’s eyes lit up when he saw Madison walk outside. He threw his arm around her shoulder and whispered in her ear.
“I don’t mean to wander off like that,” Dad explained. “I was just a little steamed.”
Madison shrugged. “I know, Dad. So, what am I supposed to do next?”
Dad bowed his head. “Here comes the boss,” he whispered. “Let’s ask her.”
Mrs. Wolfe came over and clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention.
“We want to start! Let’s all get together here, shall we?” Mrs. Wolfe said.
Stephanie stood, tight-lipped, behind her mother. The other members of the wedding party formed a tight cluster in front of a makeshift altar that had been set up near the edge of the lake. On the side, there was an old wooden gazebo decorated with winding green ivy and paper streamers.
Madison wondered if anyone else there sensed the tension between Dad and Stephanie and Stephanie’s mom. It seemed that no one noticed anything. People babbled about the hors d’oeuvres and the setting, not the wedding couple. As far as most family members and guests were concerned, Dad and Stephanie were the picture of perfection.
But Madison knew better. Something was up.
“Now, you stand over here….” Mrs. Wolfe began directing people as to where they should stand, but the pastor performing the ceremony soon interrupted her. He strolled up wearing his black garments and carrying a leather-bound Bible. Madison noticed that he didn’t stop smiling.
“Di-yaaan,” Pastor John drawled. “I think we can do just fine if y’all let
me
tell these fine people where to stand. Sound good?”
Mrs. Wolfe giggled a little, embarrassed. “Take it away, Pastor John. Of course! Of course!”
Stephanie’s father took his wife by the elbow and gently walked her to the side of the crowd.
Members of the wedding party talked nonstop. It was hard for Pastor John to be heard over the din of the crowd. He asked the girls to stand on the right, and boys, the left.
The four bridesmaids (Tiffany, her cousins Rebecca and Lynne, and Stephanie’s sister Bethany) stood in an arc around the junior maid of honor Madison—and the maid of honor, Wanda. Stephanie was in the center.
“This is sooooo pretty,” Tiffany gushed. “Aunt Steph, this is soooo exciting and you look soooo gorgeous….”
Tiffany continued with her incessant chatter.
Why wasn’t anyone telling her to shut up
? Madison wanted to thump Miss Texas Poison Ivy on the back and say, “Um … clue phone, it’s for you! You’re not supposed to be talking now! Hello?”
But she didn’t do or say anything. Right now, Madison was too preoccupied with thoughts of the Shakespearean sonnet she had to recite in just a few minutes, in front of everyone….
Madison’s knees were shaking.
Across the makeshift aisle, Stephanie’s father, Mr. Wolfe, stood in as Dad’s best man, since Uncle Rick had not yet arrived. Kirk was the junior best man—
and
Madison’s counterpart for the ceremony.
Kirk kept flashing one smile after another. Madison hoped he was smiling at her, but she couldn’t be sure.
Stephanie fussed with the hem of her skirt.
Dad tried to calm her down.
And Tiffany kept talking, talking, talking….
What was going on
? This was unlike any wedding Madison had ever imagined. She wanted to scream.
Instead, she focused on the water in the lake. It looked beautiful on the surface but muddy underneath—a little like her whole experience of Texas so far. Since Madison had arrived in Bellville, everything had seemed festive and happy, but underneath that surface, tongues had been wagging and stress building.
Madison realized something else, too, as she stared out at the lake and watched everyone fussing and fighting before the run-through began. Although the groomsmen were standing up for Dad, they weren’t his real family. Not the way she was.
In truth, Madison was the only
real
representative of the Finn family at Bobcat Lake until the next day, when Uncle Rick and Aunt Violet were due to arrive. It was as if Stephanie’s family had taken over everything having to do with the wedding; Madison felt them closing in around her and Dad like the tentacles of an octopus.
The big squeeze.
Madison closed her eyes and tried to think it all away.
E
VENTUALLY, THE WEDDING CROWD
settled down.
A cool breeze blew in off the lake and everyone paid close attention to Father John’s words.
The official ceremony run-through began.
It seemed as if it were getting off to a good start. Madison was even breathing normally.
But then Mrs. Wolfe again started to direct the wedding party, like an orchestra conductor. Madison smelled trouble as she watched Mrs. Wolfe point and mumble, waving her arm like a conductor’s baton.
Two flower girls and the ring bearer wandered up an “aisle,” and pretended to drop rose petals from teeny baskets.
One of the little girls dropped her basket and fell down. She started to cry.
“Shhhhhh!” Mrs. Wolfe growled at the little girl, helping to lift her back up off the ground. She gently guided her back into the arms of her mother, a college friend of Stephanie’s, who stood on the sidelines.
Stephanie turned to her mother. “I don’t think we’re going to need rose petals,” she said quietly. “Let’s just have the girls follow me. That way they don’t have to—”
“Nonsense!” Mrs. Wolfe said, rolling her eyes. “Of course we need rose petals,” she insisted. “This whole ceremony has been carefully constructed.”
Dad looked steamed. But he kept his mouth shut.
Pastor John invited any members of the wedding party who still had not done so to take their positions. Madison faced Kirk. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. Madison had decided Kirk would be her distraction from everything else.
What would Kirk look like in a tuxedo? Madison wondered.
Definitely
cuter than Hart, she decided, even though she was pretty sure no one could ever really take the place of her crush from home.
Stephanie’s father performed the first reading of the ceremony. He read a passage from the Bible, skipping certain parts when Pastor John gave him some secret signal. Time was running out, and they still needed to get through more than three-quarters of the rehearsal.
The breeze from the lake died down. Madison could see everyone beginning to perspire again. By now, Stephanie and Dad weren’t really looking at each other. Everyone seemed a little distracted.
When Pastor John announced, “Now we get to the second reading,” Madison stood at full attention. She fumbled for the book of poems and made her way to the same spot where Stephanie’s father had stood. In the midst of all this, she would prove what a good daughter she was. Madison Francesca Finn would give the best wedding reading of all time.