To Have and To Hold (20 page)

if there was something she needed to get through the rest of her time here, it was having

something to look forward to. “I just meant that if someone isn’t nice to you, you don’t have to

take it.”

She nodded before she headed for the doorway. He fol owed her and noticed most of her

family was outside. Since her mother was in the parlor, smiling as one of the twins talked to

her, he nodded toward the porch.

“Take that out there,” he said. “I’l set this tray down in the parlor and be with you in a

moment.”

“Alright.”

As she went to the front door where Grace saw her and opened the screen door for her, Dave

went into the parlor and placed one of the trays on the table.

“Don’t tel me men out west serve refreshments,” one of Mary’s brothers joked. “If so, I need

to get my wife home so she doesn’t get ideas.”

Picking up on the good humor, Dave’s eyebrows rose and he shrugged. “I don’t see the harm

in helping out once in a while.”

Her brother chuckled. “Now I know I’m going to be in trouble if I keep bringing my wife here

while you’re around. Thank goodness she’s outside with the children.”

“Oh, real y Harry,” one of the twin sisters playful y admonished. “It’s rather nice that Dave

helps our sister.”

“I don’t mind if he helps her as long as I’m not expected to go in the kitchen. I wouldn’t know

the first thing to do in there.”

“I’m sure between Mother and I, we could help with that,” she replied.

“Leah!” her mother snapped.

Leah gave a slight jerk and looked at her mother.

“The kitchen is no place for a man,” her mother said, not bothering to look at Dave.

“Whew.” Harry wiped his brow. “Thank you, Mother.”

Katie adjusted the cameo locket around her neck. “Dave only carried the tray out here. Surely,

there’s no harm in that.”

“There’s no harm in a husband helping his wife whenever she needs it,” Dave said.

As he expected, Mary’s mother gave a slight grimace before she looked at him. “Society needs

standards for men and women to abide by. I raised Mary to understand her place.”

“I’m sure you did,” he said, unable to resist the opportunity to annoy her further since he’d had

al he could take of her. “Too bad she went out west where we’re al too uncivilized to know

what’s appropriate for men and women. Men have been known to make coffee in the kitchen

for their wives and women have been known to wear pants and ride a horse. Don’t even get

me started on what rooms we kiss and hug each other in. It’s a barbaric place.”

Harry gasped. “Mary’s worn pants and rode a horse?”

Dave nodded. “Not so much since the children were born but she’s done it. She’s a natural

rider, too.”

Rising to her feet, his mother-in-law glared at him. “While you’re in my house, I expect you to

act appropriately.”

“Mother,” Katie began with a laugh as she glanced at Leah whose eyebrows rose, “he’s joking.

They don’t act like that out there.”

“We do,” Dave told her. “And we have a lot of fun doing it, too.”

Everyone’s jaws dropped except for his mother-in-law who narrowed her eyes at him in a move

he took as a chal enge. He held her gaze, not the least bit disturbed by the silent threat. If she

thought she was going to intimidate him into doing things her way like she intimidated the

others, she was in for a rude awakening.

“Dave?”

Breaking eye contact from her, he turned and saw Mary at the parlor doorway.

Mary scanned the room before she looked back at Dave. “Is there something wrong with the

tea?”

“No,” he said. “The tea is fine. I was just wondering if I positioned the cups right on the tray,

that’s al .” He added the last part only because he knew her mother wouldn’t like it, and he got

the satisfaction out of hearing her low grunt. Ignoring her, he went over to Mary and took her

by the arm. “Let’s go outside. I could use some fresh air.” Before Mary could look back at her

mother, who surely would be fuming, he led her out to the porch.

“What happened in there?” she whispered once the storm door was shut.

“Nothing that matters,” he replied. And it didn’t matter. Her mother’s opinion didn’t change

anything between them. They had every right to live as they saw fit to in their own home.

Grace waved to two empty chairs that were next to her and Calvin. “Sit down and drink the tea

before it gets cold. I got your cups ready.”

“Thank you, Grace.” He set his second tray on one of the tables by a group of her relatives

before he led Mary to her chair. He waited for her to sit before he took the cups from Grace

and held one to Mary. After she took it, he sat next to her and let out a long sigh. He didn’t

realize he’d been tense in there. Sitting back, he relaxed and took a sip. “It tastes great.”

“Oh, I can’t take credit for that. Al I did was set out the teapots and trays,” Grace replied as

she sat next to her husband. “Mary made the tea. I just hope Calvin isn’t disappointed.” She

turned to Calvin and smiled.

Calvin chuckled. “I’m not disappointed, Grace.”

“You shouldn’t compare yourself to me,” Mary told her. “He’l always love you no matter what.”

“Listen to her and stop worrying I’l find your cooking inferior,” he kindly added. “I assure you

that nothing you do is lacking.”

“Is it any wonder why I married him?” Grace told Dave and Mary.

Dave smiled, final y feeling the last of his tension leave. This was what being with Mary’s family

should be like. It was so different from the atmosphere in the parlor. No wonder al the

children were playing in the front yard. They were smart enough to get out of the house so

they could enjoy themselves. Turning his attention back to Mary, Grace and Calvin, he joined in

the conversation, putting her mother far from his mind.

Chapter Seventeen

The next morning, Mary decided to start making breakfast before her mother or Grace and her

family woke up. Dave had offered to keep her company in the kitchen, but she’d told him she

wanted to be alone. And she did. The previous day and evening had been tense. Her mother

wasn’t forgiving her and Dave, and she sensed something happened between her mother and

Dave to make things worse but she lost the nerve to ask Dave about it. The only thing she

knew for sure was when she saw them in the parlor staring at each other, neither one was

happy.

She wasn’t sure how breakfast would go, and if she could make something for her and Dave to

eat before her mother woke up, that would suit her just fine. As she gathered the ingredients to

make Dave the french toast and hash browns he’d wanted the day before, she decided she’d

make enough for everyone except her father who was only eating soup.

She worked on the breakfast, her thoughts not on anything in particular. But she was getting a

strange feeling from the past. It wasn’t a good feeling, which was why she tried to delay it.

She’d cooked in this kitchen many times, and she thought any memories associated with

cooking would bring her a feeling of peace. This time she was aware of despair and

hopelessness. She couldn’t imagine having a future here. Wel , not a happy one. She’d

existed in Maine, accepting people’s opinions of her and believing what they saw when they

looked at her was how she truly was.

She finished with the hash browns and set the pan on the worktable before she walked over to

the window. There was no mirror in the kitchen, but she thought she might get a good view of

her reflection. She looked at the window pane and focused on her face. Bits and pieces of

how she used to see herself crept into her awareness. Squinting, she took in the frizzy hair that

refused to stay in place. Her face seemed a bit awkward, the nose unusual y big and the lips

too thin.
Love is for beautiful women, Mother. I understand why men ignore me.
She rubbed

her eyes. This was why she hated mirrors when she lived here—before she met Dave and

could final y look in one without feeling unattractive.

Turning from the window, she returned to the cook stove, dipped two slices of bread into the

batter and placed them in the frying pan. As she placed it on the cook stove, she heard

footsteps heading for the kitchen, and judging by the sound of them, they were a woman’s.

She held her breath, praying it was Grace. But as luck would have it, it was her mother. Mary

swal owed the lump in her throat and focused on the food in front of her. Just what was she

supposed to say to her mother?

Her mother grabbed a cup from a hook on the wal and poured some coffee into it.

Steeling her resolve, she glanced at her mother. “I hope you don’t mind that I decided to make

breakfast.”

“Seeing as how you started without asking, I don’t have a choice now, do I?”

Her face warmed from the admonition. “I wanted to be useful.”

“Where’s that husband of yours?”

“On the porch…I think.”

“At least he isn’t in here. Men don’t belong in the kitchen. This is a woman’s place.”

Surprised her mother would say that, she studied the woman as she sipped her coffee. “I

know. I cook at home.”

“Wel , your husband doesn’t seem to understand what’s right for a man or a woman. I hear

you’ve worn pants.”

Further embarrassed, she averted her eyes from her mother’s intense stare and picked up the

spatula to turn the slices of bread over. “On a farm, pants come in handy for some of the

chores.”

“And what chores can’t be done in a dress?”

“I don’t know exactly. I just know I’ve needed pants.”

“That’s rather odd. How could you know you’ve worn pants but not remember why?”

Mary shrugged. “I get glimpses of my life.” She cleared her throat and prayed Grace would be

in the kitchen soon. “I was in pants at one time, and I know I was doing something on the

farm.”

Her mother grunted but didn’t say anything.

After a moment, Mary added, “Dave and I won’t be here most of the day. I’l take him to the

lighthouse so he can see the Atlantic.”

“I thought you came here to see your father.”

“It’s Father’s wish that I take Dave out there. He told me to go there when I saw him.” As an

afterthought, she added, “Yesterday.”

“Let’s just hope Providence doesn’t cal him while you’re off having a good old time with that

husband of yours.”

Taking the slices of bread out of the pan and placing them on the plate on the worktable, Mary

ventured, “Why don’t you like Dave?”

Her mother’s eyes narrowed. “You real y want to know?”

She hesitated, debating whether or not she was asking for more trouble by pressing the issue,

but final y she decided she had to know what was going on if there was any chance she might

salvage whatever relationship she shared with her mother. She braced herself for whatever her

mother was going to say and nodded. “Yes.”

“Fine. I’l tel you. He was rude to me yesterday. Talked bad to me right in front of your

brother and sisters. Never apologized for it either.”

Mary frowned as she dipped more slices of bread into the mixture for the french toast before

putting them into the pan. “That doesn’t sound like Dave.”

“How wel can you know him? You don’t even remember him since you lost your memory.”

“But I do know him. I might not remember everything, but I do know him, in my heart.”

Realizing that was a vague answer, she shrugged. “I don’t know how else to describe it.”

“I suppose you have to support him since you’re married to him.”

“No, I’m not supporting him because I’m married to him. Dave is a kind and good man.”

A couple sets of footsteps coming down the stairs stopped her mother from responding.

Thankful for the reprieve, Mary turned back to cooking.

Grace, fol owed by her children, came into the kitchen. “I must wake up earlier. You two make

me look bad. Calvin and the children are apt to think I’m lazy.”

“Nonsense,” her mother assured her with a smile. “The older I get, the earlier I wake up. I

didn’t get up at dawn when I was your age.”

Mary gritted her teeth as she flipped over the slices of bread in the pan. Had it been her who

slept in, she was sure her mother would find a cutting retort on how she’d do better to wake up

earlier in the day since sloth was a sin. Her first inclination was to find a way to excuse her

mother’s behavior because she got the feeling she’d done that in the past. But Mary was tired

of living in the past or trying to figure out a way to appease her mother. Ever since she walked