To Love and to Cherish (40 page)

“Yes. Shamefully, the gossipers among us have linked their names.”
The thought made Thomas feel queasy. “Going away at almost exactly the same time didn’t help their causes much.”

“Have people nothing better to talk about?”

“Better they should sew those lips shut and leave them that way.” Thomas bent over the buggy’s wheel, not wanting her to see his face. “Why did Carl go? I’m not asking out of idle curiosity. I thought he’d made a firm commitment to the Plain life.”

“I know you would never gossip.” Footsteps told him she’d moved closer. “Could you look at me?”

He forced himself to raise his head. Her cheeks were red, but her expression remained determined. “He left because he needed to go back. He had a life and responsibilities he’d abandoned. People who needed him.”

So Carl had stayed true to his colors. Abandoning those who loved him. “He ran away from someone not once, but twice?”

“Yes.”

Thomas had to ask the question, even if he didn’t get the answer he wanted. He was no coward. “And what does that mean for you?”

“I sent him away. He came here for me, and I sent him away. Do you understand that?” Her chin lifted. Her gaze met his. He saw no hesitation now, only a ferocity that set his heart pounding. She took a step closer. “It’s time for me to run, too, but I’m not running away from anything. I’m running toward what I want.”

Thomas couldn’t rip his gaze from her beautiful face. Her fair skin and blue eyes mesmerized him. His heart ached for her. She hadn’t said no when he asked her to marry him. Nor had she said yes. “I should get the children,” he said. “They’ll be worn out from playing in the snow and building that snowman. I’m hoping that’s not Eli’s hat on its head.” He clamped his mouth shut and started walking toward the field. Why was he nattering like an old woman? “It’s time for us to go.”

“Thomas, wait!”

Despite having every intention of leaving, he stopped moving. Even his heart ceased to beat, or so it seemed.

“Yes.”

Yes. To him? Thomas found it hard to believe. He’d managed to convince himself that she would never be his. That he would learn to live without her. “Yes?”

“Yes, I’ll be your wife, if the offer still stands. I know it’s a long time until November and a lot can happen, but I know I won’t change my mind—”

His heart started again. In fact, it pounded so hard Thomas feared he would drop in his tracks. Instead, he covered the half dozen feet between them in two strides. He grabbed Emma by the waist, hoisted her in the air, and kissed her hard. Her arms came up and wrapped around his neck. She felt warm and soft, just as he had imagined, despite every attempt to keep those thoughts at bay. Her lips simply received his at first, but when he started to move away, they sought his with an urgency that made it almost impossible to stop. Knowing nothing more would be proper, he forced himself to break away. Their gazes intertwined. Her breath was sweet on his face and her tremulous smile lit the space around him. Her face suddenly pink, she dropped her forehead to his shoulder, hiding her face.

“Oh, Thomas,” she whispered, her voice muffled against his coat. “I can’t breathe.”

“Look at me and I’ll help you.” She raised her head, her expression delighted, as if she knew what was coming. He kissed her again, even more deeply. He’d waited so long. Tradition dictated that more waiting was in store for them, but knowing they would be husband and wife before the new year ended made the thought easier to accept. He ended the kiss even though he wanted it to never be over. “How’s that?”

She laughed, high and breathless. “Better.”

He held her in a hug for a few seconds more. Finally, with deep regret, he dropped her to her feet. Her cheeks rosy, she staggered and the hankie fell to the ground. He caught her hand, certain she would fall.

“I’m sorry.” Flustered, he let go of her and stumbled back, stammering the words in a rushed mishmash. “That won’t happen again. I promise.”

“Never?” Her arms out as if to catch her balance, she grinned. She raised one to her face and her fingers touched her bottom lip. “What a shame. I hope you don’t catch my cold.”

Leave it to her to tease at a time like this. Life with Emma would never be dull. “Until you’re my wife. Then I reserve the right to kiss you every day.”

“I reserve the right to kiss you back.”

He picked up the sodden hankie with two fingers and handed it back to her. “By the way, it would be worth it.”

She accepted his offering, her face puzzled. “What would?”

“Catching a cold. I could always ask you to nurse me back to health.” Aware that he was smiling like a fool, Thomas counted on his shaking fingers. “January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October. Ten months. It’ll be a long year, won’t it?”

Her eyes shining, Emma leaned into his space. “I plan to enjoy every single minute of it.”

He leaned into her space. They weren’t touching, but it felt as if their hands were clasped in a tight embrace, one that could never be broken. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

T
he beef and noodle casserole balanced in one hand, Emma climbed down from the buggy, walked past the green pickup truck parked in the driveway, and trudged up the snow-covered steps. Before she knocked, she turned and looked back at Luke. He smiled and nodded. She faced the screen door and knocked, a hard, quick rap. It rattled against an inner door painted a bright blue.

A dog began to bark inside, but the door didn’t open. She inhaled and tried to be patient. The frantic barking got louder. “Hush, stop it!” Mr. Cramer’s voice boomed, even through the thick wooden door. “Sit!”

Finally, the door opened. Mr. Cramer put one hand on the frame and peered out. White stubble covered his craggy chin and one loop of his overall straps was undone. His long-sleeved undershirt had a brown stain on it. “Miss Shirack.” He couldn’t look more surprised if she had been a bear foraging on his front porch. “Is something wrong?”

“We understand you’re still in mourning. So are we.” Forcing a smile, Emma held up the casserole. “So we wanted to share some food with you in honor of our parents.”

Mr. Cramer’s face crumpled. He hung his head. “How can you…” His voice broke. “I don’t understand how you can…”

“You’re forgiven, Mr. Cramer.” Emma glanced out at Luke. A sad smile on his face, he hopped from the buggy and started up the steps toward them. “We all are.”

1. At the beginning of
To Love and to Cherish
, Emma’s Amish faith demands that she forgive Mr. Cramer for the accident that caused the death of her own parents. She finds it almost impossible to forgive him. Has there ever been an instance in your life when someone did something “unforgiveable”? Were you able to forgive? How did you go about it?

2. Eventually Emma learns that Carl has abandoned not only his wife, but a child. She’s caught between believing he should retain his Amish faith, forsaking the world, and knowing he must return to his obligations as a husband and a father. Do you think it was more important for him to return to his wife and child or to remain in his community of faith? Why?

3. Emma worries about Josiah; Luke tells her worrying is a sin. Thomas tells her the same thing. The Amish believe that worrying shows a lack of faith. What is the scriptural basis for this belief? How do you keep from worrying about situations you can’t control or change?

4. The Amish also believe God has a plan for each one of His children. When something bad happens, they accept it as part of God’s plan. Do you agree? What steps have you taken to discern
His plan for you? How do you deal with events in your life that are difficult to understand in light of God’s love for you?

5. When Catherine is unable to overcome the devastation of seeing her parents killed, Aenti Louise takes her for a walk on the farm. Aenti Louise says she feels God’s presence in the breeze, the warm sun, and rustling of the leaves on the trees. Where do you feel closest to God? Why?

6. Aenti Louise says God understands the anger and hurt we feel at the loss of a loved one because His Son died. Have you ever been angry with God? How did you overcome that anger?

7. At the last moment, Catherine backs out of the wedding because she realizes she intended to marry for the wrong reasons. Did she do the right thing, even though it caused terrible pain and hurt for Melvin? Have you ever done something for the wrong reasons, only to have it backfire? How did you reconcile the pain you caused with doing the right thing? How does God reconcile your actions?

8. After his parents’ funeral, Josiah can’t accept the loss of his parents as God’s will for him and his brothers and sisters. Do you ever have difficulty accepting God’s will for you?

9. Josiah recites the verse, “This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it,” to Emma. He asks her, “how’s that working out for you?” On difficult days, how do you find the joy of the Lord?

10. Aenti Louise reminds Emma and Catherine of the story of Jacob wrestling with the angel of the Lord all night long until the angel touches his hip and makes him lame. He could’ve done that at any time, but he waits until Jacob is exhausted. Aenti Louise says that was because God wanted Jacob to know who was in control. Do you ever wrestle with God over who is in control of your life? How do you give up control to the Lord?

Kelly Irvin is a Kansas native and has been writing professionally for twenty-five years. She and her husband, Tim, make their home in Texas. They have two children, three cats, and tank full of fish. A public relations professional, Kelly is also the author of two romantic suspense novels and writes short stories in her spare time.

To learn more about her work,

visit
www.kellyirvin.com

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HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
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T
HE
H
OMESTYLE
A
MISH
K
ITCHEN
C
OOKBOOK
Straight from the heart of Amish life, this indispensable guide to hearty, home-cooked meals is filled with hundreds of recipes for favorites such as Scrapple, Amish Friendship Bread, Potato Rivvel Soup, Snitz Pie, and Graham “Nuts” Cereal. “Amish Kitchen Wisdom” sections highlight fascinating tidbits about the Plain lifestyle.

A P
OCKET
G
UIDE TO
A
MISH
L
IFE
Full of fun and fresh facts about the Amish people, who abide by an often-misunderstood faith and unique culture, this handy-sized guide covers a wide variety of topics, such as: beliefs and values, clothing and transportation, courtship and marriage, shunning and discipline, teens and
rumspringa
, and education and work.