To My Senses The Nicci Beauvoir Series Book 1 (13 page)

“
Or the person.” The words
just slipped out.

David sat in silence
sipping his drink. I repositioned myself on his chest and settled
my head over his heart. He held me close and started running his
fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes and listened to the
rhythm of his heartbeat. My head was swimming in champagne and
within seconds, I was asleep.

***

I awoke to find the lights
burning brightly all around me. There was a throbbing in my temples
and I had to trace my thoughts to remember where I was. I was still
wearing my clothes and David had placed a blanket over my legs.
That was a good sign, I decided. Our two highball glasses of
champagne sat unfinished on the coffee table, and my shoes were on
the floor where I had left them. I looked to a clock on David’s
desk; it was almost four in the morning.

A sudden flash of movement
from the studio made me turn my head.

“
No, don’t move. Stay where
you are on the sofa.”

David stood at his easel.
His shirt was gone and he had changed out of his tuxedo and into a
pair of jeans that were covered with paint. His chest and arms were
paint-spattered and there was even paint in his hair. He moved
behind the canvas like a man possessed. He was bobbing and weaving
and mumbling incessantly to himself.

“
I have to move. I have to
find some aspirin.” I sat up. “What did you do? Slip something in
my drink and ravage me while I was asleep?”

He stepped away from the
canvas and came into the living room, taking a seat on the coffee
table across from me. I was keenly aware of his naked chest before
me.

“
I only do that to cheap,
lurid woman. You remain intact,” he loomed closer, “for
now.”

“
I can’t believe I fell
asleep like that.” I nodded to his studio. “What are you
doing?”

“
I’m painting you. Come and
see.” He stood up and offered me his hand.

I got to my feet and
immediately regretted the change in altitude. “I think I would
rather you had ravished me,” I joked, putting my hand to my head to
allay the pounding.

“
When you fell asleep, I
have to admit, you did dent my ego slightly. I thought I had enough
charm to at least keep my dates awake. After I put the blanket on
you, this idea just possessed me.”

“
What idea?”

“
This idea.” He settled me
on a stool in front of his easel. “I’ll get your
aspirin.”

I directed my attention to
the canvas. It was as though I were seeing another side of myself.
I—or someone who looked like me—was lying on the sofa dressed in a
long black off-the-shoulder gown. Black heels were resting on the
floor next to a half-empty bottle of champagne and two glasses. The
woman’s auburn hair was fanned out about her head, and one hand
hung off the sofa, barely touching the champagne bottle on the
floor. Her other hand was resting across her stomach. Her features
were similar to mine, but her nose appeared longer, her mouth
fuller, and her chin jutted out slightly more than my
own.

He returned, producing two
white pills and a glass of orange juice. “What do you
think?”

“
You work fast. I wasn’t
asleep for more than a couple of hours.” I took the pills and
downed the juice.

The lines around his eyes were deeper and
dark circles lay beneath. I brushed away a comma of brown hair that
had fallen into his eyes.

“
You need some sleep,” I
whispered.

He tilted closer to me.
“Thank you,” he softly said.

When he kissed me gently on
the lips, a surge of excitement swept through my belly. I returned
his kiss, giving myself over to my desire. His kisses took on an
urgent, more desperate quality, as his hands started eagerly
caressing my curves.

Then he suddenly stopped
and pushed me away. “I need to take you home,” he
mumbled.

A pang of disappointment
rose in my gut. “I’m sorry. I got carried away,” I professed,
hoping to relieve the uncomfortable tension suddenly between
us.

“
It’s not you.” He kissed
my forehead. “It’s me. There is nothing more I would like to do
than carry you into that bedroom and….” He put his arm around me.
“I just feel awkward. For the first time in my life, I feel
apprehensive about making love to a woman.”

I rolled my eyes and
exclaimed, “I’m sure that has never happened before!”

***

The ride home was filled
with small talk about the quiet of the city this early in the
morning, and the success of the party the night before. It didn’t
take long to reach my house on Jackson Avenue. He pulled into the
front drive and turned off the engine. When David looked over at
me, he reached for my hand.

“
I just want you to know, I
tried for some time to forget about you. I kept telling myself that
you didn’t fit into my life. It obviously didn’t work. I guess what
I’m just trying to tell you is that there are no guarantees with
me.”

“
I didn’t expect any,” I
confided. “David, we’ve been over this before. I’m sure your old
life is probably too tempting to give up.” I climbed from the Jeep
without giving him another look.

I started down the
shell-covered drive toward my house. His footfalls came rushing up,
and I turned to meet his gaze.

“
Was I wrong to come to you
last night at the party?” he asked, his eyes searching
mine.

“
No, you weren’t wrong. It
was a magical evening. For one brief moment you were right; there
was no Sammy, no Eddie, no responsibilities, and no tomorrow. Now
the sun is coming up,” I motioned to the yellow light breaking over
the trees, “and you must return to your benefactress. So if you
will excuse me, I will go upstairs and turn back into a
pumpkin.”

I left him and went to the
porch steps.

“
You’re making me feel very
guilty.” He raised his voice. “I had no intention of taking you
home, or showing you my work and telling you all the things I did.
I didn’t plan any of this. I saw you at that party, dancing with
that little twit, and I knew I could never stand by and let you be
with him. I wanted you to be with me.” I didn’t turn to face him,
but could hear his feet coming closer. “I didn’t set out looking
for this. I was content enough with my way of life; no strings and
no emotional attachments. Then you come along.”

When I felt his breath on
the back of my neck, I was determined not to face him. “It doesn’t
matter, David.” I headed up the steps. “I don’t fit into your life,
just as you don’t fit into mine. Good night.”

I reached the door and put
my key in the lock, but before I went inside, I glanced back. He
stood with the early light behind him and a wide grin on his face.
It was as if he found my attempt at cool nonchalance
amusing.

“
What in the hell do you
find so funny?”

“
You are a wonder. Is there
ever a second that you let down that guard of yours?” he asked,
watching me from the bottom of the steps. “Even when I kissed you
last night, I could feel your mind wondering whether my intentions
were honorable. What would people think? How you would explain me
to your father? I just want to know, Nicci, do you ever just give
yourself over to the complete passion of a moment?”

“
What was I supposed to do?
Jump into bed with you? Is that what you mean?”

He came bounding up the
steps to me. “I didn’t say that. I just think you need to stop
being so damned practical.”

“
Are we talking about being
practical or being a prude? I think you are confusing the
two.”

“
I’m not talking about sex.
Or do you think that’s all I want from you? If I just wanted sex
from you, Nicci, I would not have been painting you with your
clothes on. Or are you upset because I didn’t try to have my way
with you?”

“
Upset! Boy, do you have an
inflated opinion of yourself. I’m not desperate enough for your
kind.”

He grabbed my arms and
pinned them to my sides. Forgetting the time of day, he shouted,
“Stop it! What are you trying to do? Drive me away? Is that what
you want?”

Then he took a deep breath
and let go of my arms. I quickly turned and started to open the
door when he banged his fist against it.

“
Don’t you dare walk in
there and think we are over. I won’t go away. I know you like being
around me even if you won’t admit it.” Without another word, he
headed down the steps.

I ran after him. “Don’t
flatter yourself. I won’t be waiting for you. I don’t ever want to
see you again.”

He opened his mouth to say
something, but he stopped himself. Instead, he pulled me to him.
His face was inches from mine.

“
I don’t give up on
anything I want.” He let go of me with a jolt, turned around, and
marched away.

I rushed inside, slamming
the front door. I fell back against the door, feeling like a
criminal who had just reached sanctuary. I heard the spray of
gravel, as his car sped angrily out of the drive.

My mind raced but my
thoughts quickly clouded over with images of him. All I could think
about was how he had kissed me. With every kiss, came the
comparisons to Sammy. Had he held her like that? Kissed her like
that? Said all those words of love to her? Was this merely an
elaborate seduction to win another benefactress, so that he would
have the means to go on with his painting? Then, I thought about
the portraits he had done of me. I had seen the transition in his
work. The paintings of me had shown greater insight and depth.
Everything he had painted before seemed blurry and
childish.

I slumped against the door
feeling completely drained. “You aren’t the first woman to be
baffled by a man,” I muttered, hauling my tired carcass to the
stairs. “You’re not the first and you won’t be the
last.”

Chapter 7

The next morning, the
persistent ringing of my iPhone woke me from a fitful sleep. Bright
sunlight peeked from underneath the blinds, as I reached out to the
bedside table for my phone. According to my phone, it was a little
after ten in the morning.

“
What?” I said angrily into
the speaker.

“
We are sleeping late
today, aren’t we?” Colleen’s voice grated against my ear. “I would
have thought you would have been up by now, considering you left
the party so early. I had a great time by the way. Guess what
happened to me?” She gave a loud squeal. “Eddie and I—”

“
I know, Colleen. I know
about you and Eddie.” I rubbed my eyes, trying to get them to
focus.

“
How do you know?” She
sounded disappointed. “Well, you don’t know all the
details.”

“
I don’t want to know all
the details.”

“
What do you mean you don’t
want to know? Here I call you up all excited that it has finally
happened to me, and you don’t want to know. Who the hell else am I
supposed to tell? Mom?”

“
Now that I would pay to
see.”

“
The first time you did it
with that medical student of yours, you called me the next day and
told me about it. I was excited for you then. Why can’t you be
excited for me now, Nic?”

“
I called you to give me a
ride home from Roger’s apartment. I didn’t call you to give you the
details.”

Roger, I couldn’t even
remember his last name, had been my first lover. He was a freshman
in medical school and I had just started my first semester in
nursing school. I found him to be smart, funny, and attractive.
Unfortunately, so did a lot of other girls. I thought I was giving
him something special. He was of the opinion he was doing me a
favor. We didn’t last through the first semester.

Colleen sighed. “Well,
whatever. Eddie was wonderful. He was so sweet and concerned about
me. It was like a fairy tale.” That was the problem with Colleen.
She did most of her thinking in terms of Mother Goose.

“
I’m happy for you,
Colleen. You and Eddie make a sweet couple.”

“
Really! This is so great!”
She was squealing again. “Hey why did you leave so early last
night? I looked for you after. Val said you and Uncle Bill had
gone.”

“
Yeah, we didn’t want to
stay out late.” I remembered Eddie had seen David and me in the
parking lot. “Did Eddie say anything to you last night about me?” I
added.

“
Oh, jealous now, are we?
You had plenty of opportunities to grab him for yourself. In fact,
I used to think he was quite taken with you, but now I know better
since I am a woman of the world.”

“
Colleen, I’m not jealous.
I’m very happy for you. I hope you were smart enough to use
condoms.”

“
Oh, that.” Her voice
faded. “I’m sure Eddie took care of that…I think.”

“
Well, that was
stupid.”

“
Who cares? Last night was
heaven.” She gave a long sigh. “I saw you dancing with that gigolo
guy, by the way. He’s a real good dancer.”

Panic tightened my throat.
I didn’t need to have Colleen starting any nasty rumors about us.
“Yes, David, that’s his name. He’s a nice guy. I wanted to ask him
about the painting I saw at your house.”