Tomorrow's Lies (Promises #1) (25 page)

I turn to her, crying, and for the first time in ages, I allow someone other than Flynn to comfort me. Mandy lies down next to me and wraps her arms around me. I tell her everything—how I felt this afternoon with Flynn, how happy and optimistic life seemed, and then how Allison somehow
knew
…and promptly retaliated.

“She knew right away,” I say to Mandy when I pull back. “She wasn’t buying the laundry story for a second.”

Mandy brushes hair away from my face, like I often see her doing with Cody and Callie. “She was bound to figure it out. It’s so obvious Flynn loves you, Jaynie. She’s just mad she can’t have him, or at least have what you have with him.”

“Yeah, but she has enough. She holds our lives in her hands. We’re at her mercy.”

“Maybe she’ll lighten up in a few days.” Mandy is trying to be optimistic. “If she gets back with her boyfriend, I bet she forgets all about today.”

“I hope that happens,” I reply. My instincts, though, tell me otherwise. This is not about to blow over in a day or two.

Suddenly, a little voice from across the room rings out. “Is Jaynie sad, Mandy?”

Mandy looks at me, and I nod. She lifts her head and says to Callie, “Yeah, Jaynie is a little sad tonight, honey.”

“Can I come over and sleep with her, too? Maybe she’ll feel better with hugs from both of us.”

I roll over and gesture for Callie to join us. We could move to Mandy’s bigger bed, but this closeness feels right, like we’re more united than ever.

Callie snuggles in between me and Mandy. It’s a tight squeeze, but no one wants to move apart.

After a minute, Callie whispers, “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Sure,” I reply. Just as Mandy says, “Yes, of course.”

We smile at each other, but our smiles falter when Callie says, “I’m sad, too, guys.”

“Why are you sad, sweetie?” Mandy asks.

“’Cause I miss Cody,” Callie says.

We assure her he’ll be okay and that Flynn will keep him safe.

“Yeah, but Flynn can’t keep the nightmares away.”

“He’ll do his best, sweetheart,” Mandy says.

“If you say so,” Callie mutters, unconvinced.

Hours later I am awoken by blood-curdling screams from down the hall. Cody’s nightmares have returned with a vengeance. Mandy is awake, as well. Her hand is on Callie’s arm. Callie is staring up at the ceiling, crying and muttering her brother’s name over and over again.

“That’s it,” I say. I sit up and toss the blanket aside.

“What are you doing?” Mandy asks as I climb over her and Callie.

“Going down the hall to get Cody.”

When I start for the door, Mandy jumps up and catches me by the arm. “You can’t do that,” she says sternly. “If Allison is watching, or even if she’s taping and looks at the footage later, things will get worse.”

I look back at Callie, still on the bed, crying and shaking. Mandy is staring at her, too. And all the while, Cody’s screams continue.

“Fuck it,” Mandy says, at last. “Let’s go get Cody.”

But when we open the door, Allison is there, standing in the hallway, arms crossed, blocking our way. “Going somewhere?” she says, her tone mocking.

I peer down the hall and notice the door to Flynn and Cody’s room has a bar jammed across it, effectively locking them in. “You can’t lock them in like that,” I say, incredulous.

“I can do whatever I want,” Allison snipes back.

Mandy tries to appeal to her. “This is insane, Allison. What if there’s a fire? Or what about when they need to go to the bathroom?”

“It’s only for tonight,” Allison says, like that makes it okay. “You all need to be taught a lesson. I will
not
be disobeyed.”

“Fuck you!” Mandy roars. She gets up in Allison’s face, and I’m pretty sure she’s about to lay her out.

I stop her, remembering all the times she talked sense into me. “Mandy, no, no, no.” I pull at her arm, trying to get her to back off from the psycho bitch.

She drops back a step, averting her fiery eyes from a frightened Allison. But the damage is already done.

Once she’s regained her paper-tiger courage, Allison jams a finger in Mandy’s face. “I want you out of here now.”

“What, tonight?” Mandy appears stunned.

“Yes, tonight. What do you think
now
means?” Allison points to our room and demands Mandy go pack up.

“She still has a few more days, Allison,” I interject.

I am promptly told to shut up by Allison.

Mandy gives me a hug. “It’s okay,” she whispers.

“But it’s dark outside, Mandy. And wasn’t your social worker supposed to pick you up?”

Mandy whispers, “She probably wouldn’t have shown anyway. I told you a long time ago that Mrs. Lowry pays our social workers to look the other way.”

I know it’s true. I haven’t seen Saundra since April.

Mandy lets me go, but not before placing a hand on my cheek and saying, “Remember everything we talked about.” Her eyes sear in to mine.

She means the escape plan, which has always been a last resort in case of complete collapse.

Well today, things began to crumble.

Back in the room, all hell breaks loose. Callie screams and holds onto Mandy’s leg as she readies to leave. “Don’t go, don’t go. I love you, Mandy. Take me with you.”

“Hey.” Mandy kneels down and wraps her arms around Callie. “You knew I was leaving. It’s just a few days earlier than we thought.”

“You can’t go yet,” Callie whimpers. “Cody and I were going to surprise you with a good-bye card we made. It’s out in the barn.”

“You can give it to me when we see each other again, okay?”

Mandy is trying so hard to be strong in order not to upset Callie any further, but she can’t stop her own tears from falling.

“Don’t go.” Callie holds onto her more tightly.

Mandy gently pries Callie’s arms away so she can stand. “I have to, baby. But I’ll see you again soon. You remember that.”

“I love you, Mandy,” Callie cries out desperately.

Mandy drops to her knees again, gathering Callie to her once more. “I love you, honey.” She kisses Callie, stands again to go. “Tell Cody I love him, too.”

“I will.”

Mandy gives me a hug, whispering, “Take care of my babies for me.”

And then I am left crying, holding onto Callie, who keeps whispering over and over, “Mommy, please don’t go.”

Flynn

W
ith Mandy gone life at the house becomes unbearable. It’s like Allison pushed Mandy out so she could really bring down the hammer. Dinner is cut out completely, and the small lunches are resumed, at first, but then promptly halved.

Stealing additional nutrition bars at breakfast becomes imperative. I give most of mine to the twins, but spare a few for me and Jaynie.

I keep expecting Mrs. Lowry to come back and save the day.
Who would’ve ever imagined that, right?
But our foster “mother” spends more time away than ever. It’s like she’s found her own escape from Forsaken by taking business trip after business trip.

Conversely, Allison seeks no escape from anything. Not anymore. She gives up on trying to win back whoever she was dating in town. She even refrains from flirting with me. It’s with hatred that she peers my way with her cold, dead eyes. She even lets her appearance go. Allison’s once shiny, platinum hair becomes greasy and unkempt, her dark roots showing. She loses weight along with the rest of us, though her loss is a choice. And her new favorite clothes, worn daily, are jeans cut off at the knees and an old baggy tee which was once white, but is now gray. Most days she smells rank, but it’s her attitude and actions that are beyond disgusting.

Allison doubles our quotas, and with one less person, we rarely meet the numbers. That becomes her justification to cut out dinner.

When Cody and Callie cry and wail that they’re hungry, Allison pats them on their heads patronizingly and tells them with no emotion in her tone, “Work harder, then.”

She then walks away.

The kids look to me and Jaynie with hope in their eyes. “We make numbers tomorrow, Flynnie?” Cody asks, desperate, starving.

“We’ll try, little man.” I ruffle his now-dull hair.

“I’m hungry,” Callie whispers, leaning into Jaynie.

“I know, baby. Me, too.”

And so it goes…

Times are desperate and our actions become desperate, as well. The lack of food, worse than ever before, leads to not thinking clearly, for me, and for Jaynie, too.

We take chances. We throw caution to the wind.

One night we run into each other outside the bathroom on the third floor. Jaynie is coming out and I am going in. I stop when I see her.

Wrapping my arms around her, I breathe her in. “God, I miss holding you at night.”

“I miss you, too,” she replies. “But, Flynn”—she glances up—“the cameras.”

“Fuck the cameras,” I say, and we hold each other for a good, long while.

There are no repercussions the next day, at least not beyond the ordinary food deprivations, so the next night I sneak down to the kitchen to see if I can raid the cabinets. Unfortunately, the door is padlocked.

“Fucking whore,” I spit out, my stomach so empty it physically hurts.

“Who are you calling a whore?” a voice rings out.

I spin around to find Allison standing in the hall. “Jesus.”

She leans back against the wall and propositions me. Not in a sexy way, just in a dull, why-the-hell-not manner.

“If you fuck me, Flynn,” she says. “I’ll give you some food.” She’s wearing a short robe. She unties the ribbon holding it shut and pink silk falls to the floor. “Just do me here. I don’t care. You can do anything you want to me.”

Her tone is flat, as are her eyes. I know she doesn’t really want me. She’s still playing her game. She’d love for me to be physical with her to stick it to Jaynie. Nice try, but that will never happen.

I step up to her, our bodies almost touching. There’s a slight glimmer of life in her eyes when she thinks she might be getting some.

I extinguish that shit as soon as I lean forward and say, “I wouldn’t fuck you even if it meant never eating again.” She gasps, and I add, “That’s right. I’d rather
die
than stick my cock in you.”

She tries to smack me, but I catch her hand. “Fuck you,” she hisses.

As I walk away, I hear her say, “You’ll fucking pay for this, O’Neill.”

Without turning around, I raise my middle finger and shove it high in the air. “That’s the only fuck you’ll ever get from me, so savor it.”

This bitch will never beat me.

Jaynie

T
his level of hunger is like none I’ve ever experienced. Springtime, when we thought food was low, was a walk in the park. This is true starvation.

Hunger like this leaves you dizzy, in the early days. Then, the headaches arrive, a pounding, relentless variety of pain. Finally, you reach a point of no return. You feel empty in a way you’ve never known possible. A new breed of hunger gnaws at your gut, leading you to search for other ways to feel full.

For me, I look to Flynn.

One unusually balmy evening, the first day of September, Allison actually leaves the house. Before she goes, Flynn overhears her talking on her cell, telling someone she can stay wherever she’s heading till midnight.