Too Busy for Your Own Good (41 page)

Give praise and rewards commensurate with results.

You may think that honesty is a no-brainer. But honest employment goes beyond telling the truth. When you're an honest employee, you do your best to live up to the performance expectations of your job. When you operate at work in an honest way, you can let go of that nagging feeling that you should do
more
.

Instead of increasing your “busy,” you can try these:

Stay out of sticky situations. If your gut says it's weird, listen.

Don't hide problems. Covering up takes precious time and energy.

Break important news fast. Give others time to solve problems.

Apologize quickly to the right people and move on.

Your to-do list is four pages, single-spaced. How long is your not-to-do list, the things you intend to let go? Jim Collins, author of
Good to Great
and
Built to Last
, advocates one of my favorite ideas—making a “stop-doing” list. Since I hold tight onto too many things, I call this my “let-go” list.

Make a list of everything you need to do.

Prioritize the list.

Combine similar tasks by resources, staff, or geographical needs.

Eliminate
the bottom two items, or purge the list 25 percent.

Some of you are starting to panic already! OK, you can start with eliminating
one
item and work up to 25 percent. Not doing things is about prioritizing and organizing, making you more able to logically show your boss why you let go of something. If done prudently and sensibly (i.e., with delegation and work-arounds), letting go of some tasks won't jeopardize your job. You won't get fired for being a more efficient and productive employee.

We need armor when we're battling the competition, climbing the corporate ladder, and smashing glass ceilings. Too often the armor we adopt is a hardening of our demeanor. Sure, you are a professional and need to act like one, but have you become hard? Beware of certain words in your performance reviews that signify hardness, and listen to friends and colleagues when they comment on your behavior. The words to beware:
demanding
,
insensitive
,
tough
,
resistant
,
challenging
,
impervious
,
obtuse
,
stringent
,
inflexible
,
intense
, etc.

You can SOFTEN your image.

S Smile
welcomingly. Remove your frown, unclench your jaw, and be sure to smile with your eyes, too, for sincerity's sake.

O Open
your body language. Uncross your legs, unfold your arms, open your arms, and let them hang at your sides or rest in your lap.

F
Lean
forward
slightly. Be mindful of invading personal space (18 to 24 inches).

T
Reach out and
touch
someone. A brief, momentary touch on the hand or forearm does wonders for connection. Beware of touching the back or shoulder—it's condescending—and avoid the upper arm, being too close to the trunk (or a woman's breast).

E
Make
eye contact
. Strike a nice balance between the weirdo solid stare and eyes wandering around their upper face.

N Nod
slowly. Done kindly, it says, “I'm listening” or “I understand,” not necessarily “I agree.” (Avoid rapid nodding; it's dismissive.)

Both men and women in the workplace can benefit from making themselves more
connectable
. When you're approachable and can connect quickly with others, you'll save time and energy and keep yourself in balance.

The fundamental differences between the male and female brain dictate that to communicate, we need to be conscious of these distinctions. Here are the basics on how you can make contact with the men at your office and talk so they'll listen.

Be specific
. Ask direct questions with quantifiable nouns—who, what, where, how much, by what date. Avoid the often antagonistic
why
.

Focus
. Men follow conversations better if there is a focus and they know what it is. “We need to talk about our schedule for Tuesday's meeting.”