Too Busy for Your Own Good (38 page)

Many of you might have flipped right to this section because you're sure that your boss is making more “busy” for you than necessary, and it's stressing you. Here's the 411 on working with different kinds of bosses. Along with some basic info about their personality style, you'll get further faster in the organization if you know what makes them tick and what ticks them off.

Whether you've risen to management level from competence or because no one else would take the position, this is your chance to make work
work
. The more you know about yourself and others, the better and more civil the workplace will be. But, wait! Just when you have a handle on taming lions, it turns out there are a few other skills that will save you time and energy.

What Your Boss's Type Means for You

Model good behavior
. Learn how to act, not
react
, to your employees' behaviors. If one calls you a horse's a**—OK, let it go. If two people do—look in the mirror. If three call you a horse's a**—buy yourself a saddle.

Listen for predators
. Learn to listen with all your senses. Ask questions and opinions, and wait for the answers. Paraphrase answers back to the speaker. Confirm what you heard.

Get commitments
. Turn a promise into a commitment by nailing it down to a specific date and time—avoid vague and unclear statements such as “as soon as possible” or “the first of the month.” Follow up in writing.

Deliver hard news
. There is no magic way to make bad news less bad. Be sincere, straightforward, and sympathetic: “I need to tell you something disturbing.”

Intervene
. If two people are involved in a disagreement and are incapable of reaching a solution, these elements need to be present for you to intervene:

The desire of both parties to resolve the conflict

The respect of both parties

The agreement of both parties to implement resolutions

What you think of coworkers and boss helps to determine your attitude at work. Your attitude, in turn, helps to determine your productivity, your enjoyment of your job, and your stress level. Take some time to examine your relationships with your coworkers and boss(es). If you
are
the boss, strive to understand your employees before you decide on a course of action during times of ultra-busyness and high stress. Your understanding of relationships and communication skills will determine the culture of your workplace.

Work is not just some place you do a minimal job, sit around texting your friends, play “How Old Is Your Brain?” games online, have a meal, and go home. It's where you discover
you
. The late Dr. David Viscott, a popular psychiatrist, often said, “The purpose of life is to discover your gift, and the meaning of life is using it.” Work is where you can discover your unique, special gift. You have a choice where you are.

One of the most charming books I've read is
Water for Elephants
by Sara Gruen. Set during the Depression on trains with a traveling circus, the story is told through flashbacks in the voice of a man in a nursing home. The elephants are the main attraction, and smart ways have to be devised to contain them. (Nothing riles up the townsfolk faster than the elephants trampling their clotheslines and decimating their gardens.)

When the elephants are small, they are restrained with a large chain around their back leg. This chain is attached to a very large post pounded into the ground or sunk into cement. The baby elephant pulls on the chain, but he is not yet strong enough to pull the post out of the ground. And as he gets older, the chain is kept the same, but he stops pulling on it because, in his mind, he is still a small elephant with a very large chain and post. He doesn't do anything about it because he thinks he has no choice.

You are not an elephant. No matter what your earlier experiences have been, you
do
have a choice. You can choose to make your workplace more civil or, better yet, a great place to work. Your attitude toward others will determine your altitude—how high or happy you'll be there—and to what prominence you'll rise. Soar, my friend!

We must become the change
we want to see
.

—Mahatma Gandhi

The corporate landscape is changing constantly. Keeping up with what's in, what's out, and what's expected of you is enough to unhinge even the most self-assured person. How can you expect to stay balanced at work when change and, therefore, imbalance is the norm? You cannot be first-rate at your job if eating, sleeping, and work is all you do in your life. Even though you may spend the bulk of your waking life at your job, it is not your life. Your life is
yours
. Your employer may seem to think that he owns you, but you know better. If you're chafing at the thought that you feel trapped in the chaotic busyness of your job, the time has come to take some control back and find your balance!

Stephen Covey's phenomenally successful book
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
stresses the value of putting “first things first.” Whatever system or method you use, time management is essential to decreasing your anxiety and stress at work. When you manage your time, you're actually managing
yourself
—you use time to develop strong relationships that enrich your work while still allowing you to enjoy spontaneity and meet your goals. Covey explains that we spend most of our time in one of four areas: