Too Far Gone (In Too Deep #2) (7 page)

Chapter Thirteen

Jake

“Place looks good.”  Sawyer gave me a pat on the shoulder once we had all gotten our drinks at XIII, the lounge on the fortieth floor of the Monarch Hotel.  He followed my eye line to the row of VIP tables, the last of which sat the investors’ wives and girlfriends, including Lara.  I could feel his demeanor darken as he looked down into his drink, rattling the ice.  “Listen, what I’m about to say to you comes from a place of concern so don’t kick my ass for it.”

“What is it.”

Sawyer heaved a sigh.  “Look, I’ve known you for a long time.  I know you’re not actually behind Jackson right now, and that you have your reasons for acting like you are.  But whatever it is you’re doing to get Lara out of this situation, you need to do it faster.  Because if I managed to catch you two, Jackson’s not far behind.  And we both know what he’s willing to do to anyone who comes between them.”

When I turned to him with narrowed eyes, he laughed.

“Come on, you’re not a detective or something.  I mean who else would’ve had it out for Gabby Winter?” he asked.  “It’s obvious enough that you and I aren’t the only ones whispering about it.  But you know this circle.  These guys all have their own secrets and they cover each other’s asses no matter what.  Especially when it comes to their women.  They’ll rat you out for messing with Lara but they won’t tell a soul about Jackson killing Gabrielle, so if I were you, I’d be a whole lot more careful than you were the night I saw you two kissing.  Same goes for her.  I’ve already heard from someone that she was at Dane’s office the other day.”

Something twisted in my chest.  Sawyer’s voice was grim.

“Yeah.  Just because no one’s told Jackson yet doesn’t mean they don’t know.  It’s just a matter of time.”

I was outwardly calm but Sawyer’s words had my heart crashing hard enough against my ribs that it felt like they’d break.  A million anxious thoughts ran through my head as I muttered some form of a thank you and turned my gaze back to Lara.  Her cat-like eyes were wandering the room, vacant and glassy from the drinking.  It was unlike her but I knew why she was pounding back vodka like water.  Despite what had just happened at the duplex, it wasn’t about Dane.  It was about me this time.  I was the asshole.  The piece of shit.  I was the reason she’d been crying and as much as it killed me – as much my body became a hollow fucking void when she was out of my reach – the last thing I could do right now was walk up to her, wrap her in my arms and tell her that everything would be okay.

Because Sawyer was right.  I’d been brazen as of late.  I’d met Lara in public, stripped her naked ten feet from her friends, done a million things that could easily get back to Jackson and send him flying off the handles.  I’d been careless because all I thought about these days was her.  So much so that I’d forgotten about Jackson.  About what he had done.

He had hired someone to murder a girl we’d watched grow up. He had held Gabrielle when she was a newborn, just a week out of the delivery room at Lenox Hill.  The day was still clear in my head.  I was in middle school, Jackson a freshman in high school.  We complained about having to dress in pastels before going to see the Winters at their famous penthouse, where they welcomed Gabrielle into the world among dozens of friends and even more polka dot balloons. When it was my turn to hold her, she wrapped her little fingers around the end of my tie.

The memory hit me so hard I felt winded.  She had always been a happy kid.  She’d still been that just a few months ago.  But now she was in the ground, forever nineteen because of my brother.

Like a snake, my gaze slid across the room to Jackson as he laughed behind the turntables, letting the busty deejay put her headphones on his ears.  He had no regrets – barely a care in the world.  And if he knew I’d slept with Lara, he’d have me dead.  But my biggest concern was the new question sprung into mind as Jackson caught my eye from afar and gave me a zealous thumbs up.

Only he was allowed to have Lara.  What would he do to her if she ever chose someone else?

~

An hour later in the bathroom, I saw Jackson again – or rather his feet behind a pair in heels.  As the door closed, the blaring music and voices outside faded so I could hear the sounds coming from inside the stall.  His grunting and her moaning.  My stomach turned as I recognized the sound of those voices together.  Jackson was in there fucking Audra.

“Fuckin’ Jackson – are you kidding me?” I couldn’t hold back my anger.  Under the door, I saw their legs suddenly freeze.  Then came Jackson’s laugh.

“It’s just Jake,” I heard him murmur before calling back out.  “Hey man, you mind coming back in like, five minutes?”

Audra’s giggle came as I stood there, willing my blood not to boil.  It was counterproductive.  I was running out of time to win my brother’s trust and find proof to nail him with.  And considering what I’d just heard from Sawyer, I needed to do that with the urgency of a life or death situation.  Because that was exactly what this was – a matter of time before more secrets came out to get someone killed.  It was by no means certain but when it concerned Lara, I wasn’t exactly willing to take any chances.

So despite the disgust throttling my stomach, I mustered the strength to not only play it off, but play it up.  “Can’t a guy take a piss without having to hear his brother fuck his stepsister in the bathroom?” I snorted as Audra started to whine.

“Come on, Jackson, fuck me.”

Jackson rapped on the door, his drunk hyena laugh coming out.  “Heard that, brother? She still wants it.  Mind if I proceed?”

Something inside of me probably died as I stood in front of that urinal and replied, “Nah, man.  Go for it.”  In front of the mirrored wall, I then stared into my own pupils as I took a piss and tried to drown out the sounds of Jackson ramming into Audra, shamelessly loud when he came.  Didn’t sound too different than the benches at the gym.  Still, I wanted to fucking vomit.

My eyes rolled toward the ceiling when Audra finally teetered out in her heels, her hair a mess and her dress still peeled down to her waist.  She eyed me through the mirror, taking her time to get dressed again.  “Jealous?” she smirked quietly when I finally looked at her through the reflection.  As Jackson made his way out, tossing his used condom haphazardly toward the trash, she slinked toward me and hugged my arm to her chest.  “Pretty sure you haven’t even said hi to me yet,” she purred.  I looked at Jackson’s grin of amusement before turning back to my stepsister.  I wanted to fling her off of me like a rabid animal but instead, I stretched my lips into a smile.

“Hello, Audra.  Happy?” I asked with a teasing lilt to mask my contempt.

Jackson laughed as he came up behind Audra, grabbing her ass.  “She thinks her tits make her look fat in this dress but I told her she’s crazy.  Tell her I’m right, man.”  Jackson faced her to me.  “Tell her she’s crazy.”

“I don’t have to look at her to know she’s fucking crazy.”

Audra thrashed.  “Oh –
fuck
you, Jake!” she spat, instantly pissed.  Jackson held her still, laughing as if she were a yappy Chihuahua.

“Hey, he didn’t mean it that way.  He’s past that.  Right, Jake? Aren’t you past that?” he asked, looking me dead in the eye. Christ, it was like he knew he was testing me.  Staring at my brother, I tried to gauge if he knew something more than he should.  But through his bleary drunkenness, I couldn’t read a thing.  Turning back to Audra, I tried a softened look.

“I didn’t mean it that way, Audra.  I meant to say you look good.”

She glared at me, narrowing her eyes before looking to Jackson, as if she needed permission on how to react.

“Jake and I had a good talk about you the other day.  He’s serious.  We’re adults now so he’s burying the hatchet,” Jackson said, rubbing her arm.  A gesture of affection and he had me wanting to throw up again.  But I hid the impulse as Audra turned warily toward me.

“What, we’re cool now? Finally?” she asked, crossing her arms.

“We’re cool now,” I said, going as far as to offer my hand for a shake.  But Jackson was incredulous.

“Are you kidding me, fucker? Give the girl a proper hug!” he laughed, shoving Audra into my arms.  My body went rigid as she smashed her giant chest into my stomach, immediately squeezing me tight.  I looked over her shoulders at Jackson, who grinned.  “Yeah man, don’t be afraid to get all up in there,” he slurred, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

I’d never in my life touched a woman and then felt the instant need to shower.  But there was a first time for everything and this was it, especially as Audra smiled up at me and shimmied, shaking her breasts for me and waiting for my approval.  She was like a dog doing a trick for her owner.  It made me feel suddenly and nauseatingly depressed.  What the hell had Jackson done to her? How had he trained her? Mindfucked and molded her? How had he done it to Gabrielle?

Probably the same way he thought he was doing it to me.

“Come on, man.  Grab some of that ass,” Jackson flat-out said, clapping his hands like a high school baseball coach.  Hatred flooded through me as I reached down and cupped Audra.  I couldn’t bring myself to squeeze so she reached back and did to for me, breathing out something that was half-giggle, half-moan.  “She wants it harder than that, brother.”

What the fuck was my fucking world.  I couldn’t process anything but disgust as I stood in a situation I could never picture in my worst, most vile and bizarre fucking nightmare.  For every second that it carried on, I hated myself.  The moment couldn’t end any sooner.

“Nice.” When it was over, Jackson gave Audra’s ponytail a tug before telling her to give us a minute.  Once she was gone, he shook his grinning head at me for a solid ten seconds.  Then he slapped a heavy hand on my shoulder.  “Could tell you enjoyed that, you sick fuck. Been a long time coming, but welcome to my world, brother.  We’re all fucking twisted.  But the only way to know real pleasure is to ignore all the boundaries.”

Chapter Fourteen

Lara

I should’ve called it quits an hour ago.  But even an hour ago, I was three drinks past my limit.  Sliding down the leather couch, I leaned my head on the back of the seat and scanned the floor again, looking for Jake.  But he was nowhere to be found and I was starting to lose all the bets I’d made with myself.  I had predicted that by 10PM, he’d come over and find an excuse to pull me away from the girls.  When that didn’t happen, I gave him till 11PM, then midnight, all the while telling myself that I hadn’t scared him away by saying “I love you.”  They were startling words for anyone.  Maybe he needed time to process it.

Or maybe you’re pathetic.  Maybe he resents having to save you all the time.  Maybe he came to New York to have fun and you turned his stay into a million episodes of endless drama
. 
He’s a surfer.  He’s used to the beach.  You’re turning his life into a living hell.

And he’s finally realizing it.

At this point, I couldn’t tell if I was being paranoid or irrational.  I’d mixed vodka with gin with tequila and something blue that Emily had pushed in my direction, and that was most definitely a recipe for emotional disaster.  As I turned my heavy eyes to Sloane, I considered telling her everything – telling all the girls everything.  Right there and then.  I was deathly curious of what their reactions would be. 
So, you know Jackson? The guy your boyfriends and husbands talk about all the time? Who you all love and not-so-secretly crush on? Well, I tried to dump him for hiring a man to break into our home and assault me, so he blackmailed me for murder and I’m also sure that he killed Gabrielle, whom by the way, he cheated on me with
.
  But I guess cheating’s the nicest thing he’s done to me lately.

“Sloane.”  Her name kind of dribbled from my mouth.  She turned to me with bright eyes.

“Look who’s awake!” she cheered, making Piper laugh in a way that I vaguely disliked.  “How’s it hanging, baby girl?”

“I have a secret to tell you.”

“I
love
secrets,” she humored my drunk ass.  “What’s your secret, honeybun?”

All of them were looking at me now, giggling, just waiting for me to utter some worthless drunk girl secret like, “
My favorite color is blue,”
or, “
The waitress has a nice butt
.”  I stared back at all of them, wanting so badly to prove the true scandal that hid behind my lips.  I barely had any clue where to start.

“So… remember the guy who broke into my house this summer?” My question was one blurred line.  It was a wonder Sloane could even make it out.

“Yes, honey.  That was awful, I remember.”  She glanced at the rest of the girls.  “We all do.”  Emily nodded solemnly to confirm.

I stared down at my engagement ring, which I’d slid off my finger without realizing.  “Well.  He was hired,” I said, spinning my ring like a penny.  Or rather, I tried.  But instead, it skidded off the table with a
zing!
and landed somewhere on the dark floor, sending the girls into an instant frenzy.  I watched hair fly as they all ducked their heads to find it, the girls at the ends sliding out of the booth to make room for the search.

As Emily got on her knees, Sloane stared at me, looking very sober for a drunk.  “What are you talking about, Lara?” she asked, utterly still amid the chaotic ring search.  I stared back at her.

“Jackson hired that guy.  To win me back.”

She pressed her lips into a straight line.  She looked like my mom when I was eight years old and dropped the word
shit
during a dinner with relatives.  “Why would he need to win you back?” she asked evenly, as if it were a review question for a quiz.  I studied her pretty face, wondering if she even believed a word I was saying.

“Because he cheated on me with Gabrielle,” I murmured just as Emily sprung up from the ground.

“Found it! I get to keep it!” she yelped.

Sloane’s head tilted just an inch at me.  Her eyes started to drift from me, as if she were starting to think hard or remember something.  I was just about to tell her about the bloody T-shirt and voicemail when a low voice silenced us all like little girls up too late at a sleepover.

“Now, why is this happening?” Jake’s sexy grin melted Emily straight into her Pradas.  She bit her lip as he plucked my ring from her fingers.  “Fairly certain this doesn’t belong to you.”

“Oh, Jake, get on one knee and pretend to propose to me,” Emily moaned.  We were all hammered.

Except for Sloane.  Sloane had sobered up very quickly.  Out of nowhere, she grabbed my hand with urgency.  I knew what it meant.  She had to speak to me in private.  But Jake was looking at me now.

“Lara, what do you say we get you and your ring back to your fiancé?” he asked, smiling casually at me, the way he never smiled at me.  My eyes flitted all about his face.  Was I angry at him? I couldn’t remember.  I was something at him.  But he was so handsome with his slicked hair and so sexy in all black that I completely forgot.

“No thanks, I’d rather have you,” I announced.  The girls howled and I felt an odd satisfaction as Jake’s green eyes lit on fire.  He glared at me, so pissed off I could feel his heat in my veins.

“I’d rather have you too!” Emily raised her hand.

“Fuck off!” Piper yelled.

Sloane kept tugging at me.  But she stopped – we all did – when Jake gripped the edge of the table with one hand and easily yanked it out, moving it aside so he could step in to come get me.  I pressed my back against my seat as I stared up at him, his broad frame looming over me for all of a second before I found myself six feet above ground, thrown over his shoulder like a doll.

“Jake!” I pounded on his back as the girls all squealed and cheered.  “Jake, let me down!” He was walking me through the lounge, through a sea of pulsing lights and beautiful people dancing with their eyes closed.  I could probably crowd surf if I wanted to.  But I didn’t.  Maybe it was my fear of heights but I found myself sobering quickly the way Sloane had.  “Jake, please!”

He finally put me down behind some curtain, backing me up against the wall.  “What the hell are you doing, Lara?” he demanded furiously.  “What were you doing over there? Huh? Look at me.  Now is not the time to be even a little bit careless and just now, you were about twenty levels about that.  I don’t even know what you told the girls but judging from how the blood fucking
drained
from Sloane’s face – ”

“Jake, I told you I loved you tonight and you said nothing.”  My chest heaved as I stared at him, the a million angry words threatening to spill out of me without control.
“Jake, these past few months, my life’s been turned upside down.  Completely.  Nothing I’ve known has been real.  Everything has been a lie, I am engaged to a man who is a true fucking psychopath and you know what I realized today? You are literally my only hope.  You are the only reason I haven’t forgotten relief, or excitement, or happiness.  You’re the only reason I don’t feel like it’s completely over.  I can’t even feel that way with Sloane and I’ve known her since I was ten, ‘cause telling her about Jackson is as good as forcing her to choose between
me
or him and Caleb and you know what, I have a bad feeling… I have real bad feeling she’s going to choose them.  So you look at me.”  I held my hands out and laughed.  Like a lunatic.  “I got nothing.  Nothing but you and hey, maybe I’m really fucking drunk right now, but the fact that you still haven’t said anything yet, the fact that you just kind of looked at me like I was crazy when I told you I loved you… it makes me think I really am alone.  And maybe I should be that way because why should you have to suffer through this if you don’t love me? Why would this possibly be worth it?”

Oh God, I’d lost it.  I could feel the hot tears running down my cheeks.  If it wasn’t over then it was over now.  Every last emotion in my body had poured from my lips to become Jake’s burden.  As the bass blared in my eardrums, he looked down at me, his eyes boring so hot into mine that I felt my knees getting weak.  It was pathetic but even then, I prayed to God that he’d just say it. 
I do love you
.

But he didn’t.  Still.  And suddenly, my phone was ringing.  I picked it up without looking at it.

“Did you mean Audra?” It took me a second for me to process the voice on the other end.  It was Sloane.

“I – what?”

“You said Jackson cheated on you with Gabrielle but I know you meant Audra,” Sloane said, her voice shaking. “Because I just went outside to look for you and I saw them in your car, I saw him… and
she
was
laying
on top
of him and… ”

I don’t know if she trailed off or if I hung up because I was a madwoman, pushing my way outside, a sick part of me alive and thrilled to finally catch Jackson in a lie.