Too Far Gone (In Too Deep #2) (8 page)

Chapter Fifteen

Lara

My hangover was no joke the next morning. I couldn’t even move away from Jackson as he tried to take care of me.

“Drink it, baby.  I swear it works,” he said, handing me a glass of club soda mixed with limejuice and salt.  I stared at it.  “Hey, your boy Sawyer was the one who taught me,” Jackson cracked, getting me to at least look up at him.  When I didn’t smile, he sighed.  “I know you didn’t sleep with him.  It was a joke.”

God, it was a bizarre morning.  But why wouldn’t it be? It had been a bizarre night.  I’d gone outside and looked into Jackson’s car window to find him passed out as he always was after sex – with Audra lying on top of him.  She’d jolted up when she saw me, waking Jackson and prompting me to turn around and hail a cab.  Jackson had rushed in after me but I had, for most of the ride, just laughed.  I couldn’t even listen to a word he had to say.  All I could do was laugh.  I’d felt truly deranged.  But it was all so hilarious to me.  Literally everything Jackson ever said was a lie.  Every aspect of my life was a mess.  Anything that could go wrong did and the fact that I hadn’t lost my mind earlier was nothing short of a miracle.

Jake had been my glue the whole time.

But now I had no idea what we were.  Perhaps my drunken rant last night was his green light to finally book it from New York, free of guilt.  Why waste time saving a head case? My phone was still dead and uncharged but he probably hadn’t texted.  He’d probably flown off already, to Tulum or Machu Picchu.  Turquoise water and ancient structures – that was how Jacob Kinsley wiped his slate clean.

I wished I could be the same.

“Baby, if we’re going to get down to it, I’m a man with needs,” Jackson started, giving me no choice but to listen to the speech I refused to hear last night because it didn’t actually matter. I wasn’t hurt – I didn’t care enough about my fiancé to be hurt.  I was just in awe of the train wreck that was my life.  I stared at my feet as Jackson sat across from me on the coffee table.  “You know me, Lara.  I
need
sex.  More specifically, sex with you.  And, babe… I swear to fucking Christ, Gabby was the first person I ever cheated on you with and it was for stupid reasons I can barely remember now.  And Audra? She’s just someone who’s there.  Someone I already know, who doesn’t work for me and isn’t one of the guy’s wives or girlfriends.  She’s a placeholder, babe.  Like a notch above my own hand.  It’s just my body requires release, Lara, or I’m not healthy. I lose my fucking mind.  All men do.  But when I’m with you, it’s a thousand levels beyond just release.  It’s love and chemistry and real fucking passion.  Do you understand what I’m saying?”

I turned my head to look at Jackson and his wet blue eyes gleaming at me from under his brows, which sloped in distress.  I wanted to laugh in his face again. 
Bless your heart.  You really think I care.  I can’t even remember the last time I
liked
you
.  I opened my mouth to say something along those lines but stopped myself, wondering if I should still stick the plan and play nice with him. But there was no plan without Jake, so maybe I didn’t have to waste what little energy I had pretending to be fine and happy.

I’ve got nothing left and I don’t love you, Jackson.  So cheat away, you prick.

I was going to say the words.  But when my lips parted, my tongue snatched them back and shoved them down my throat.  It refused to make even a sound, leaving me silent as I blinked vacantly at Jackson who just stared, furiously expectant.  But I said nothing – which was still better than what I had planned.
Huh. 
I was certain I didn’t care about myself anymore but apparently, some shred of sanity had survived in my brain and was fighting on to protect me.

But that meant little to Jackson.

“
Say
something,” he said between his teeth.  One more second of silence and he was bursting off the table, grabbing fistfuls of his hair.  “Lara, don’t put me through this again!”

Drama queen
, I looked up at him, catatonic. 
Keep making it about yourself
.

I must’ve smiled because he took one look at me and went insane.

“I’m trying here and you’re fucking
laughing
, Lara? Fucking Christ, I swear to God you’re going to be the reason I wind up losing my fucking mind!”

You mean that hasn’t happened yet?
With vague amusement in my dead eyes, I watched as Jackson went to the kitchen, pouring himself a drink and then promptly forgetting all about it as he stormed out the door.

Chapter Sixteen

Lara

Seven hours later, I woke up from a heavy nap – still on that couch, still wearing my dress from the night before.  Though now it was completely stiff with dried vodka and gin and whatever else Sloane had accidentally spilled on me last night.

I stared at the wall as I remembered the way she had looked at me in the booth.  I couldn’t tell if she’d thought I was crazy or if she’d begun piecing things together about Jackson.  Either way, I knew I should probably get up and charge my phone since she was probably freaking out somewhere.  But then again, if she’d yet to come personally to my apartment, then it was probably fine.

Another few hours on the couch, joined by some Bravo and TLC, I was finally ready to get up and shower.  My hair was in knots, my lashes so caked with old mascara that it hurt me to blink.

In the shower, despite telling myself not to, I wondered where Jake was.  I wondered if he’d left a message on my phone and imagined word for word what it might be. 
Lara, I’m sorry. You said yourself that I wouldn’t be here for long so you knew this day would come.  I’m on the plane now.  I won’t say where to but I will wish you the best of luck. I care deeply about you and always will, but this is for the best.  For both of us.

God, it wasn’t even real but it hurt so bad I had to clutch my chest till the pain subsided.  As hard as I tried, I couldn’t imagine a positive message.  I couldn’t imagine him saying,
Lara, I’ve been so worried about you and I’m sorry about last night. We were just drunk.  Please call me back when you get a chance
.  Somehow, a message that simple seemed impossible to me.

So I spent probably an hour standing under the hot water.  By the time I got out, the room was filled with steam.  When I opened the door, it floated like tendrils out into the hallway, creating a haze as I looked down over the railing and into the kitchen.

Where Dane McNulty stood staring up at me.

“
What the fuck!
” I hissed, stumbling back against the wall and clutching my towel to my chest.  Suddenly, my heart was no longer a dead rock in my chest.  It was awake again, beating wildly as I stumbled my way into the bedroom and slammed the door shut.  “What the fuck, what the fuck?” I murmured to myself as I pressed my back against the wall.  When a knock came at the door, I yelped, bursting off of it and turning around just in time to see it fling open.

“I need to shower,” Jackson muttered, stumbling in.

“What the fuck happened to you?” I stared at his stretched collar and the cut over his eye.  He smelled like sweat, blood and booze.

“What, you can talk now?” he sneered.  “Bunch of pricks tried to get in my face at the bar.  And before you tell me it was probably my fault, I
said
you were going to make me lose my fucking mind.”

I rolled my eyes. 
You have got to be kidding with this cry for help
.  “Jackson –why the hell is Dane here?” I moved toward the most pressing issue.

Jackson grumbled as he went into the bathroom.  “I had him get me from the precinct.”

My eyes went wide.  The idea of Jackson in police custody gave me a second of life before I realized that Dane had probably bailed him out before any paperwork was even processed.  As if he had never even been there.

“Well, happy birthday to me.”

I jumped when I saw Dane suddenly leaning in the doorway, raking his dirty gaze over the parts of my body that weren’t covered in a towel.

“Get the hell out of my house, Dane.”

He pretended to be flabbergasted.  “Now? Are you kidding? This is the perfect time for us to finish what we started.  Jackson’s plastered, possible head injuries, hopefully some hemorrhaging so he passes out in the shower and gives us more time to fuck like bunnies on his bed.  What is that – California King?”

Nauseous, I shoved past him, speeding down the hall with no plan besides getting as far away from him as humanly possible.  But in just a towel, I realized I wasn’t going outside.  Not without going back up for some clothes.  But when I turned around, Dane stood at the top of the stairs, blocking my path.

“What do you want from me, Dane?” I snarled.

“You know the answer to that but I’m more than happy to be explicit.  I want to fuck you, Lara.  You can start by losing that towel.”

I ignored him, trying to duck under his arms to get back to the hallway.  He blocked me.  I tried again but with the same result.

“Lara, what were you thinking when you came to me for information? You’ve known me as long as you’ve known Jackson.  I’m not the type to hand out favors.”

“Obviously, but what did you even give me, Dane?” I sneered.  “You told me that Jackson had a second phone and you said I should’ve already known that.  So excuse me, but I’m not so sure you deserve credit
for revealing something that Sawyer just never thought to tell me.”  I laughed, genuinely amused as I watched my words pinch Dane’s brows and bruise his ego.  “I mean aren’t you supposed to be the evil mastermind among the guys? Don’t they love you for that? I guess it’s more talk than anything,” I muttered before heading back downstairs.  He followed as I knew he would.

“Like I said, I give nothing out for free.  Unless I’m mistaken, I haven’t had the pleasure of experiencing your famous bedroom talents yet.”

I went into the guest room in hopes of finding pajamas that Greta sometimes set on the bed after doing laundry. “You never said that was what you wanted,” I muttered.

“Jesus, Lara, did I really need to?” Dane trailed, a leering smile in his voice.

When I saw nothing but sheets on the bed, I flung the closet doors open.  Empty besides spare towels.  Shit.

“Tell me what Jackson’s other phone looks like,” I said.

“Silver iPhone 6.  Take off your towel.”

I turned and glared at Dane for a second before pacing back out to the kitchen, outwardly calm as my mind raced, trying to figure out my next step.

“So, the same as his main phone.  Shocker.”

“Christ, woman, what counts as good information to you?” Dane smirked, watching me open random drawers.  “Babe, stop stalling and give me something to look at.”

“Tell me the name of the guy you referred to Jackson.”

“Can’t do it.”

I smirked at him from across the counter.  “You won’t rat on Jackson but you’re happy to fuck his fiancée.”

Dane’s eyes dipped to my cleavage.  “Not about saving Jax, more about saving me.  You can probably guess that I’ve used our favorite ex-con’s not-so-lawful services before.”

“And I can also guess that you’re much more of a seasoned vet when it comes to covering your tracks.  Even if this guy gets arrested for breaking into my house, you’d never let his client list ever trace back to you – would you?”

Dane pushed off the other side of the counter, his dark eyes fixed on me as he rounded the corner.  “No.  I wouldn’t.”

I backed up a step.  “And you’re generally happy to throw people under the bus, so why not just tell me his name?”

“Because you still have your towel on.”

My heart thumped.  Maybe I didn’t need this information that badly.  Maybe I could still play nice and get it from Jackson once he wasn’t plastered.  “You know what, never mind,” I said breezily, eyeing my trench coat ten yards away, draped over the back of the couch.

“Really.  You’re backing out?”

“You’ve known me for years, Dane.  You’re well aware of what kind of girl I am.”

“It’s meaningless sex, Lara, and you’re in a position you’ve never been in before.  Pretend I’m Jackson if you must.  Or fuck, pretend I’m Sawyer.”

“Dane, it would take a lot of time for me to even think about sleeping with one of Jackson’s good friends,” I said, though my own words made me inwardly laugh as I thought about Jake.  Circling the counter, Dane continued at me like a wolf stalking prey.

“Fine.  We’ll take it a step at a time.  Today, I get to look.  Tomorrow, I get to touch.”  He smiled as I backed my way toward the door.  Still stalking me, his eyes roamed down my body, his tongue lolling behind his parted lips when I slipped in a puddle of shower water.  I lost grip of my towel for less than a second but whatever peek I’d given Dane set him off.  With a groan, he was muttering a mile a minute.  “I’ll tell you his name right now, Lara, and after, you’re going to drop that towel, no questions asked.”

“That’s not how it works, I didn’t agreed to – ”

“Nick Seaver.”

I stared.

Holy shit
.

Nick Seaver.  That was the name of the man who had broken into my apartment this summer, who had attacked me and then tried to suffocate me with my own pillow when I caught a glimpse of his face.  He had stabbed Jackson – surely not part of the plan – and then he’d gotten away – definitely part of the plan.

And if my guess was right, he had also been the man in the security footage.  The one to murder Gabrielle.

Drowning in my own thoughts, I tried to think of how I could use this information.  How to make sure it would trace back to Jackson.  It wasn’t till I felt Dane’s hands on me that I broke from my trance.  “
Don’t
,” I snapped, swatting his hand off my waist.

“Then don’t play with me, Lara.”

“You didn’t have to say what you just did and I owe you nothing,” I said, jabbing my finger at the elevator button.

“I disagree,” Dane said, his perma-smirk finally fading into a dark expression that actually made me want to cower.  But I refused, even as he took another step closer, his hands in his pockets but his head tilted down low enough that his lips nearly grazed my forehead.  “If you leave without giving me what I want, I’m going to tell Jackson everything.”

Fuck.
  I tried to jog my memory about what Dane even knew.  He knew that I had gone to him for information.  He knew that I had voiced my regret about the engagement.  But he didn’t know about Jake and he didn’t know what I even wanted the information for.

He had nothing on me.

“Then fucking tell him,” I said just as the door glided opened. And in one motion, I grabbed my trench, slipped into my flats and rushed into the elevator.  I had my coat half on when I felt Dane push me face-first into the corner.  “
Get off of me!
” I shrieked, feeling him reach around me to yank the towel off my body, leaving me in an open coat and black thong.  I grabbed at the sides, trying to cover myself up.

But it wasn’t my body I was trying to hide.  It was my weapon.

His rough hands all over me, Dane roared.  “It’s not a fucking
game
, Lara! I told you his full fucking name!” He sounded demonic.  His fingers gripped down to my bone as he turned me around to face him.  But just in time, I pulled out what I’d slipped from the drawer, yanking the steel chopstick from the side of my panties and stabbing Dane wherever I could.  Once, twice, three times till I hit a place that made him scream.  Adrenaline coursed through me as I thrashed free from his grip and bolted out the elevator door.  It wasn’t till I felt the rain on my skin that I realized I’d made it outside.  And that I might’ve blinded Dane.

Not that I cared to think about that now.

All I could think about was Jake.