TopGuns (10 page)

“I never thought you’d play that out with me.”

“You know I’ll try anything with you, sweetheart.”

“You’re amazing.”

“No, you are.” Tyler leaned down. “We’ll have to do that
again sometime, maybe slower. Longer.”

“No. That’s just how I wanted it. Quick and dirty.” She
dragged him onto the bed. “I can’t believe you surprised me with that. Wow.”

“Yeah.” Tyler sighed and savored the feel of her body
against his. This was exactly what he’d been looking for. She was what he was
looking for. Now all he had to do was get the guts up to tell her.

A phone ringing awoke him. Damn. He must’ve fallen asleep.
Becca’s raised voice punctured the silence. “I said I’ll be there as soon as I
can. Just hold on.”

She looked over at the bed. Worry made him sit up.
“Something wrong?”

“I’m sure it’s nothing. My roommate’s having another
meltdown. I need to get over there. I’m sorry.” She leaned down and kissed him.
“You go back to sleep. I’ll find someone to take me home. The party’s starting
to break up.”

He fell back onto the pillow and sighed as she ran her hand
down his unshaven jaw. Sleep reclaimed him.

“I’d rather put my nuts through a meat grinder than relive
those times after the accident, man.” Jason bit his lip as he thought about
those few days and what he had and hadn’t done. “You know, I never got a chance
to apologize.”

“For what?”

Even though Tyler looked unaffected by the statement, Jason
could tell in his friend’s tone.

“I wasn’t there for you, Goose. I should’ve been.”

“Nah. Jeanie needed you more than I did. I handled my shit
like I always do. It wasn’t like you could’ve undone what happened. Don’t worry
about it.”

“We never really spoke about what all happened back then.”

“Not much worth remembering.”

“Yeah.” Jason took a deep breath and pressed again. “Still,
isn’t that the sort of shit we’re supposed to talk about? Isn’t that what that
doctor lady’s always telling us?”

He could almost feel the good times slip away like they had
back then. One reckless act had changed everything.

“I wonder sometimes what would’ve happened if I’d been there
with her—if I’d gotten off my lazy ass and driven her myself.” Tyler began
rocking the chair faster. “They didn’t deserve what happened.”

“Yeah. I know.” He could still feel Jeanie’s anguish from
that day and it took everything in him not to look over to where she sat now.
What did she remember about that time? Probably very little. Grief had a way of
doing that—sucking away minute portions of your memory and never returning
them.

Sometimes Jason wished his memory of those times would slip
away into the fog of getting old. It would be a blessing in a way. Regret was a
bitter companion and he had plenty of that for everyone. “I was the last one to
talk to Dan that night. I threw him out—told him he had a wife waiting for him
and didn’t need to be around. Maybe if I’d been cooler they wouldn’t have
crashed.”

“The what-if game sucks because you can never win.”

* * * * *

The second hand of the clock echoed, ticking off each moment
that passed as if even it were uncomfortable with the icy silence of the room.
Jeanie collapsed in his arms in unheard sobs that shook her entire body. The
other guys sat huddled on the other end of the room, draped around Tyler like
stone guardians in case he came out of his shock.

Jeanie’s fingernails dug into his forearms as she took a
gulp of air and choked on her tears. He knew this was necessary—the last thing
Dan needed was to see her break down—but nothing could’ve prepared him for the
emotions churning in his gut right now. Helplessness debilitated his speech.

Really—what the fuck could he say? Apparently no one knew
what words would offer solace since the room was quiet. The antiseptic stench
of the hospital wafted into the air and hung there—an unwelcomed reminder of
where they were.

As if they could forget.

Michael walked in, his boots pounding on the white-tiled
waiting room floor. He shoved his keys into his jeans and looked around. “Who’s
going to tell me what the hell’s going on?”

Jason noted the hostile glares cast from the other side of
the room and the tension in Jeanie’s body upon hearing the voice of LaBare’s
owner. The man was a son of a bitch on a good day—and this was far from a good
day.

He looked around expectantly. “Lamar?”

“Not now, man.” He swiped his hand through his hair and
motioned toward the hallway. “There’s a cafeteria down the hall and around the
corner where you can grab some coffee. I’ll head down there and fill you in
when I can.”

Soft footsteps cut off whatever response Michael had. A
nurse smiled hesitantly when the attention of eight muscle-bound guys regarded
her as though she were the answer to an unspoken prayer—how the hell were Dan
and Becca doing?

Jason squeezed Jeanie’s arm to force her focus away from the
grief long enough to respond to the nurse waiting patiently to speak. A knot
pulsated in his gut when he looked at the other guys. Jeanie wiped her eyes and
looked up at the woman expectantly.

“They’re out of surgery and the doctor is waiting to speak
with you. If you’ll follow me, Mrs. Wincrest.”

The knot rose, settling in his chest in a slow burn when
Jeanie’s tear-filled blue eyes regarded him with a mixture of apprehension and
hope. She clung to him, even though she stood.

“I can’t do this alone, Jase.” She shuddered, warm breath
fell on his shoulder. “Please.”

“Let’s go.” He put his arm around her waist to support her
weight in case she collapsed. They’d been waiting for several hours and she’d
refused all offers of food or drink.

He felt out of place when they were escorted into a small
office. The doctor looked from him to her, then down at his clipboard as if
confirming he’d been brought the correct patient. Jason removed his hand from
around Jeanie and urged her to sit in one of the seats.

“I’ll make this brief, Mrs. Wincrest, since I’m sure you’d
like to see your husband. The surgery went as well as could be expected but
there were unforeseen complications.”

Jason fell into the chair beside Jeanie and tried not to
grimace when she grabbed his hand and squeezed hard. The woman had a hell of a
grip.

“Complications?”

“The accident severed several of his vertebrae and I’m
afraid we were unable to repair the damage completely. There will be some
paralysis. We have yet to determine how much.” The doctor lobbed the
information like a grenade.

Dan paralyzed? Questions ping-ponged in Jason’s head but
they weren’t his to ask. He glanced over at Jeanie and noted her pallor and his
heart ruptured into a thousand strands. Part of him wanted to go kill Anthony.
He shouldn’t have trusted that Dan was good enough to drive. He should’ve seen
that wasn’t the case.

And Dan. What the fuck was he doing driving when stoned off
his ass? He knew better.

The discussion between the two of them probably hadn’t
helped any. That was a guilt Jason suspected he’d carry for a long time. He
shouldn’t have made him leave.

“What now, Doctor?”

“We’ll assess the success of the surgery but I do suspect
partial if not full paralysis from the waist down. We’ll sit down and discuss
our course of action once we know what we’re looking at.” The doctor stood and
removed his glasses. “It’s important to remain positive and strong for him.”

Right. Mind over matter and all that bullshit.

Jeanie nodded but Jason doubted she was thinking enough to
fully grasp what he said. She clutched his hand like a lifeline and he felt like
a son of a bitch for wanting to be here for her. What kind of friend thought
like that with his friend paralyzed in a hospital bed?

The doctor escorted her to a private room at the end of the
hall. A couple of nurses filed out as they made their way into the room. He
squeezed her hand when she gasped. Tubes, machines and a mountain of surgical
gauze and bandages were the first few things Jason noticed.

Dan’s eyes were closed. “Is he in pain?”

“No. We have him heavily sedated for now.”

Jeanie loosened her grasp on his hand and made her way to
the bed with tentative steps. Her hand reached toward the bed. “I can stay in
here with him.”

It sounded like a question but Jason knew her better than
that. There was no way in hell she was leaving his side. Not until he woke up
and she knew he was okay. His gut clenched as he imagined what it’d be like to
have someone who felt half as much for him.

This wasn’t the time or place for those thoughts. He backed
out of the room quietly and headed toward the lobby. He froze halfway down when
he saw Tyler fall to his knees and Lamar reach down to grab his shoulder. A
couple of doctors consoled a screaming woman beside him.

He slammed his hand against a wall and stifled a curse.
Would this day ever fucking end?

“This almost seems surreal.” Michael’s voice shredded the
last of Jason’s control.

“Why are you even here? You and Dan got along like oil and
water.”

“I came to assess the impact on the club. One of my best
dancers was in the car.”

So much for having a soul. The fucker was one horn away from
being Satan himself.

“Fortunately Anthony is okay.”

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t say that around him or Tyler right
about now if I were you.” Jason glanced down the hallway and knew he should go
to be with his friend. “You know what’s going on down there?”

“That girl Tyler’s been bringing around didn’t make it.”

“Oh no.” Jeanie’s startled response drew Jason’s attention.
He placed himself between her and Michael as she looked down the hall at Tyler
and the gathered group. “I should go over and offer my condolences.”

She looked lost and close to passing out. The last thing she
needed was to deal with someone else’s grief. “We’ll talk to them later, okay?
Why don’t you go to the lobby and I’ll be there in a minute. I want to speak
with Michael for a bit.”

She headed toward the lobby and he silently hoped someone
was there to help her. He turned his anger on Michael. “Okay, this is how it’s
going to go, Michael. If you want to be helpful, organize a fundraiser to help
pay Dan’s medical bills. You don’t need to be hanging around here unless you
can grow a shred of humanity.”

Michael whistled low and leaned against the wall. “That’s
not really the way to be speaking to me.”

“If you have a problem with it, do something about it.
Otherwise, get the hell out of here before I do something you’ll regret.” Jason
edged closer and lowered his voice. “And you had better find some of that
humanity before you talk to Tyler or we’re going to have issues.”

The man left without a word. Jason was pretty sure he could
kiss his premium stage time goodbye, but maybe not. Even though Michael was an
asshole, he was a money addict. And Jason and Tyler were big draws with their
Top
Guns
act. As much as the guy might hate it, Maverick and Goose weren’t
expendable.

He found Jeanie alone in the lobby, thumbing through a
fistful of papers. He knelt beside her and grasped the pile. “What are we
looking for?”

“I-I’m not sure if we got around to paying our health
insurance or not. I-I n-need to call them.”

He touched her arm and cupped her chin in his other palm.
“Breathe for me, Jeans. That’s it, nice, deep breaths. One after another.”

Her eyelids fluttered shut as her breathing steadied. He
wanted to carry her out of here—away from the pain and the reality threatening
to drown her in problems.

“Remember what the doctor said. You need to be strong for
Dan.”

She nodded and took another deep breath as she held his
gaze. The intensity settled in his soul and took up residence. Until Dan got
better he’d be there for her.

“Where’s Vanessa?”

“At the neighbors’.”

“Good.” Jason knew without asking that there was no family
for either of them to rely on. It was one of the things that had drawn her to
Dan. Kindred spirits in search of somewhere to belong or some shit like that.
“Is she in any day camp or something since it’s summer?”

“Like we could afford that.” She squeezed the pile of
papers. “Dan’s been having a tough time at the bar. It’s still pretty new so…”

He cut off the explanations because he knew Dan wouldn’t
want him to know that sort of shit. A man dealt with his own problems. “I’m
assuming Dan’s working most of the shifts himself.”

She nodded.

“Okay. I’m going to head over there and make sure everyone
knows the bar’s closed tonight. That’ll give us a little time to work out a
game plan on how to handle everything, okay? I’ll work his shifts and drag a
couple of the guys in to pick up the slack.”

A tentative smile formed. “You always were a bossy son of a
bitch.”

He shrugged. “Might as well embrace what I’m good at.”

She stacked the papers in her lap and fiddled with one of
the sheets. Her hesitancy made him feel six inches tall. “We can’t afford to
pay you much.”

He cupped her face again and forced his voice to remain
steady, void of the emotion choking him now. “Friends do for friends, Jeans. No
matter what happens or how much time passes I will always be here for you.
Always.”

* * * * *

Tyler hung away from the thickening crowd out of respect.
This was Becca’s family. Even though he knew there was no love lost between
them, it was a private time for them to mourn.

He almost didn’t come but the need to say goodbye pressed
heavily in him. Foreign emotions of loss and love overwhelmed him every time he
thought about her. Karma was a twisted bitch for taking her away from him just when
he’d begun to trust she wasn’t going anywhere.

Unlike all the others in his life, she wanted to get closer.
She accepted every idiosyncrasy of his persona with open, loving arms. God, why
the hell hadn’t it been him instead? He should’ve been there. Keeping her safe.

He tugged on the jacket he’d donned and ran his hands along
the tailored pants. Suits weren’t his thing but this was for Becca. She’d
always said her family only let go of a silver spoon to get a better grip. From
the looks of those around him, she should’ve said gold spoon.

The double doors to the massive church opened and people
began to file in. He could count how many funerals he’d been to on one hand and
have plenty of fingers left. Ill at ease with his presence and the secrecy of
the role he’d had in her life, he skulked into a back pew and settled in.

People filed past him, whispering as though at a social
gathering. What little she’d divulged about her family didn’t make him feel all
warm and fuzzy about them. Becca’s death was mere fodder for their event
calendars. But the family would put on a pretty front because “that’s what was
expected of a Hollen”.

Becca’s voice cut through his memories like razor blades.
His heart burned with the words.