Torch Red: Color Me Torn with Bonus Content (6 page)

Finally, just before practice ends, he asks me what’s up.

I kind of shrug and look down at my shoes. We have to wear these weird little dancing slippers for practice and they take some getting used to. “I don’t know,” I finally say.

“I think you do.” He pulls on my hand. “Come on, tell me. What’s up?”

“Well, I heard something today . . . ,” I begin, wondering how I can possibly get these words out.

“About what?”

“About Katy Abernathy . . .”

“Uh-huh?”

“Well, Kirsti said that Katy got an abortion.” But I study Justin’s face as I say this and I can tell by his raised brows and confused-looking eyes that he is totally shocked.

“What?” he asks in a hushed voice, pulling me farther offstage in case anyone else is listening.

“Kirsti and Thea said that Katy got an abortion during Christmas break.”

He runs his hand through his hair then shakes his head and finally says, “No way.”

I just shrug. “Shawna thought they might’ve been making it up, for my sake, you know.”

“Man, that’s cruel.”

“I know.”

“Do you believe them, Zoë?” He’s looking into my eyes now.

“Well, I figured if Katy was pregnant and got an abortion, you would know about it. Right?”

“Yeah. Definitely.”

“And since you seem as shocked as I am, I’m guessing it’s not true.”

He seems relieved now. “Thanks.”

“Are you going to ask Katy about it?”

Now he looks perplexed. “You mean like call her up and say, ‘Hey, Katy, did you get an abortion?’”

The way my insecurity shows suddenly embarrasses me. “I guess that’d be pretty lame, especially if Kirsti made the whole thing up.”

“Yeah. And kind of insulting too, don’t you think?”

I nod. “I guess it’s best to just forget about it.”

And so that’s what we do. We both decide to pretend like we’ve never heard this stupid rumor. And I believe Justin is telling the truth. I mean he’s a pretty good actor and all, but I seriously doubt he could’ve faked looking as shocked as he did. He was totally stunned and even a little hurt, I think. Which shows me that he’s a pretty sensitive guy. And it makes me really mad at Kirsti and Thea for coming up with this crud. It’s like they want everyone to be miserable. I just don’t get it.

Justin gives me a ride home and even walks me to the door. “So you’re okay about everything now?” he asks as we stand on my porch.

“Yeah. Sorry if it seemed like I overreacted. I was just so shocked.”

“Me too. It’s a sleazy thing for Kirsti and Thea to say about Katy. I mean Katy doesn’t mean anything to me anymore, but they don’t have to go dragging her name through the mud.”

Then he leans down and kisses me and says he’ll pick me up for school in the morning. And suddenly it seems like we’re back to
normal. Although I must admit I don’t feel like normal. I feel like I’m flying high.

Later in the evening Shawna calls. “How’d it all go with Justin?” she asks.

“Fine,” I assure her. “He thinks that Kirsti and Thea cooked the whole thing up. Just like you said.”

“Yeah, it figures.”

“I appreciate you telling me that, Shawna. I might’ve got upset and said something really stupid to Justin. You helped me to keep a level head.”

“Glad I’m good for something.”

“Something you said made me curious though . . .”

“About what?”

“Well, it sounded like maybe you’d had a bad experience, like with girls gossiping or whatever. I was just wondering if that’s why you transferred from Jackson to Hamilton?”

She took awhile to answer. “Yeah. There were some people determined to make my life miserable. It was time for a fresh start.”

“Well, I’m glad. It’s been great getting to know you.”

“Thanks, Zoë.”

We chat a little more then hang up. Now I’m feeling a little guilty because it’s like Shawna seems more like my best friend than Emily. But that’s probably due to our current activities. Emily’s all into cheerleading and I’m into the play. Just the same, I decide to email Emily before I go to bed, just to let her know what Justin said about the stupid accusation. I don’t want her to feel like I left her out of the loop or anything.

Or maybe it’s because I’m still trying to convince myself of the truth.

A
PPARENTLY
A
NDREA REALLY LAID INTO
K
IRSTI AND
T
HEA AT CHEERLEADING
practice on Monday. Emily told me that they both promised to watch their mouths a little better. I, for one, am grateful.

Katy was back in school by the middle of this week and the story (which I believe is true) is that she had an appendicitis attack during the holidays. And how rotten is that, to go through an appendectomy and then be falsely accused of having an abortion? Apparently no one has mentioned this nasty little rumor to her. For Katy’s sake I’m relieved, but I must admit there’s probably a bit of selfishness in my relief. It’s not that I don’t like Katy, but she’s never been terribly friendly to me. I guess I don’t really get her. And frankly, I don’t even know what Justin saw in her. But then I suppose I don’t need to worry about that.

No, I have something totally new to worry about today.

It happened at play practice. A strap on one of my dancing slippers broke after a pretty vigorous dance routine with Nate Stein.

So I excuse myself and hurry off to the wardrobe room in search of a safety pin to fix it. The room is dark—not unusual since we’re not really doing much with costumes yet—and I hear this kind of rustling sound. Thinking it might be a rat (last winter a few did serious damage to our costumes), I flip on the light switch and get
ready to grab a broom or sword or whatever it might take to fend off the nasty little beast. But it is
not
a rat.

Well, actually it is
two
rats.
People
rats. Mainly, Shawna and Todd rats. And these rats are in a corner of the costume room, doing something only rats would do.

At first I’m not even sure exactly
what
they’re doing or who it even is, but it doesn’t take long to figure it out. Todd is leaning against the King Lear throne (a prop left over from a performance done several years ago) but when I first see him, I actually think maybe he’s having a seizure and needs medical help or something. Then I notice someone else is with him and that’s when I realize it is Shawna! And then I get it—I understand what she is doing to him and it makes me so sick that I want to puke all over the
Midsummer Night’s Dream
costumes that are piled high in a box right next to me. In my whole life, I’ve never seen anything so skanky! I feel myself gasp, but Shawna doesn’t even turn around. Maybe that’s a good thing.

To say I am completely stunned or even grossed out is a total understatement. But, here’s what gets me: I am thoroughly embarrassed by their moronic stupidity. I mean my cheeks are flaming like torches. But instead of confronting the rats, I play the mouse’s role. I quietly turn off the light, close the door, and then walk away. And when I’m just steps away from the wardrobe room, I run smack into Casey Renwick, which causes me to nearly fall flat on my face.

She actually catches and helps to steady me. “It’s time for your next scene, Zoë,” she informs me. “Did you get your safety pin?”

I stand up straighter then just mutely shake my head as I rush past her.

Then I run back out to the stage with my strap still flapping around on my right shoe.

“Hurry up, Zoë,” calls Miss Lynnwood, and I realize it’s my singing number. Like I really want to sing right now!

That’s when Casey rushes back onto the stage and, with safety pin in hand, tells me to sit down on a wooden crate. She kneels and attaches my flopping strap back onto my shoe.

“Thanks.” I feel like I’m about four years old.

She nods and sort of smiles.

Then Miss Lynnwood hands me the music and starts playing the introduction to my little song about how I love to kiss all the guys. After what I just witnessed, the words to this song just make me want to gag. But somehow I manage to choke it out and Miss Lynnwood actually seems pleased when I’m done.

And suddenly Todd and Shawna are back on the stage, acting like nothing unusual has just transpired in the wardrobe room. I mean they don’t seem the slightest bit concerned or even guilty as they practice their next number. And they don’t even flinch when I give them both my best you-dirty-rats look. Well, I am just totally fried!

I am glad when Justin offers me a ride home and I am able to avoid Shawna. I mean what am I supposed to do about this? Act like nothing happened, like everything is perfectly fine? Peachy keen? I mean I’d just caught her doing something totally disgusting with my best friend’s boyfriend. My best friend, who gave up her virginity to Todd Barker (and keep in mind that Emily told me, back in middle school, that she was going to save herself for her wedding night!), because she thought they had the kind of love that would last forever. Yeah, right!

“What’s wrong, Zoë? You seem really quiet.”

I just shrug and say, “Nothing.” Like I really want to tell Justin about what I saw. You bet!

“Come on. I know something is wrong. Just tell me.”

“You really want to know what’s wrong?” I finally ask him in a totally grumped-out voice, which I immediately regret. I mean it’s not like he’s the one to blame here.

“Yeah.” He glances nervously in my direction. “Did I do something to offend you?”

“No,” I assure him. “It’s not you.” Then I launch into my story about finding the two human rats in the wardrobe room and, without giving graphic details, I manage to convey what the rats were up to. And to my surprise, he just throws back his head and laughs. Like it’s some big joke!

“What on earth is funny about
that
?” I demand, ready to ask him to drop me out on the next corner. I mean a girl can only take so much!

But he’s laughing so hard he can’t even answer. So now I’m not only furious at Todd and Shawna, but I’m feeling seriously irked at Justin too.

“It’s
not
funny!”

“I know, I know. It’s just funny the way you told it.” I can tell he’s trying to suppress his laughter.

“But Todd is supposed to be going with
Emily,
” I protest. “Can you imagine how devastated she’ll be when she hears about this? What am I supposed to do?”

He’s getting more sober now. “I don’t know, Zoë. But do you think it’s really your business?”

“Emily’s my best friend!”

“But don’t you think it’ll just hurt her to find out about this?”

“Are you saying I
shouldn’t
tell her?”

“Maybe.”

“Do you honestly think it’ll be less painful if she doesn’t
know
about it?”

He shrugs. “Well, they say what you don’t know can’t hurt you.”

I firmly shake my head. “Like if you didn’t know that a two-ton boulder is about to fall on your head, maybe it will just bounce off?”

“I don’t know.”

“Or maybe you’ll just be dead before you know what hit you?”

“Emily isn’t going to be hit by a boulder, Zoë.”

I huff and cross my arms. “I thought Shawna was my friend. And I warned her not to get involved with Todd.”

“It’s not like you could’ve stopped them, Zoë.” He turns down my street now.

“But she should’ve respected that he was going with someone else.”

“People go together. People break up.” He exhales loudly almost as if he’s exasperated at this whole conversation now. “I mean that’s just the way it is.”

Now I feel totally deflated, like maybe he’s talking about us. “So is that what I should expect, Justin? Are you saying that we’ll go together and then just break up?”

We’re at my house now and he pulls next to the curb then turns to look at me. His expression is a mixture of sadness and confusion, and I suddenly feel guilty for dragging him through all this Todd-and-Shawna crud with me.

“Look,” he begins. “I can’t predict the future. I mean I think you’re totally cool. And I love being with you and everything. But how do we know what’s ahead?”

I sigh. I mean it’s not like I’m trying to get some big commitment out of this guy. I know we’ve only been together for a week. Still, I just like him so much. And I feel really confused right now.