Torn (11 page)

He grabbed his keys from the counter and said, “I’ll be back in a little while. I’ve got some errands to run.”

“Wait. Lucas?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” He paused at the door, opened his mouth to say something, smiled instead and walked away. The jeep roared to life before slowly fading down the road. I was alone.

I finished my sandwich and brought my plate to the sink, rinsed it then loaded it into the dishwasher. Silence had descended throughout the house and a thought popped into my head. Now would be a good time to practice the little trick I’d been working on. I felt silly doing it with Ethan and Lucas around, but now I had the house to myself.

Facing the fridge, I focused and aimed my right palm at the door handle. Envisioning it opening, I pulled my hand back and a squeak escaped my lips as the door mimicked my movement. Staring intently at the second shelf, I willed a bottle of water to come to me. Slowly, it began to shake a bit before flying into my outstretched hand.
Awesome
.
Another flick of my wrist had the door closing again. I did a little happy dance.
God, I’m a damn Jedi
. Laughing to myself at the thought, I opened the bottle and took a long swig.

Samannnnnnthaaaa...

I spit out my water and froze. All the hairs on my arms stood at attention as my fight response overtook my instinct to flee. My muscles sang, tensed and ready. My vision hazed and the air began to hum around me. Suddenly, everything inside me knew the voice belonged to Sebastian.

Samannnnnnthaaaa...

Unable to speak, I wiped the beads of sweat from my forehead and looked around. I swung my head toward the window and peered outside, searching for the source of the taunting voice. Where was he?
The sky had darkened significantly and just beyond the trees I saw a swirling shadow that seemed to pulse. The vegetation surrounding it had withered, becoming gray and lifeless as though the shadow had sucked up all of the energy. A faint hum filled the air, growing louder as the shadow pulsed faster.

Samantha. It’s time. Join us.

“Where are you?” I could barely get the words out. “What do you want from me?” This voice had plagued me for months and I wanted to know for sure it was Sebastian, yet the thought of finally knowing, finally seeing him, scared me more than the uncertainty.

The voice chuckled.
Join us and I will show you everything.

“Never,” I whispered.
“Never.
My father died protecting me. I will never come to you.”

Again, a high-pitched and foul laugh rang in my head, making it spin. Dark clouds rolled ominously overhead, the wind picked up and the dull humming became inescapable white noise.
Silly girl.
You will come to us. You will make the choice. It is your destiny.

Despite my protest, I stepped toward the window then, leaning over the sink, I reached up to unlock it. My reflection was unrecognizable in the glass. My hair was wild and my eyes were huge and black as shadows emanated from within me. Whatever was out there was reaching for me with ghostly fingers, and as I opened the window, a dark mist snaked toward the house. I closed my eyes in giddy anticipation of the unknown.

“Samantha! Get away from the window!”

I was jolted out of my trance by Ethan’s voice. He rushed at me, pushing me out of the way. I fell to the floor hard. He faced the shadow outside and lifted his palms, uttering some sort of chant that sent a stream of light at the swirling shadow. With a thunderous crash, it vanished and the sky brightened once again.

“What were you doing Samantha? What were you thinking?”

“I, I don’t...know.”

“You don’t
know
?”

It was obvious from his tone that he didn’t believe me and I instantly felt like a brat who got caught stealing cookies.

“I don’t really remember. I don’t know what happened, Ethan.”

He bent down, offering his hand to help me up off the floor. I’d banged my shoulder pretty hard but the pain wasn’t nearly as bad as seeing the hurt in Ethan’s eyes.

“Are you alright?”

I looked at him with a half-hearted smile as I took his hand and pulled myself to my feet. “Yeah, I think so, though I have a pounding headache now.” I rubbed at my temples. “I think it was Sebastian.”

“The Exiled.
They’re getting closer. They’ve been watching so they know your father’s protection is wearing off and they can see you’re struggling with your choices.”

“I’m not struggling! I’m on your side.” I threw my hands up in desperation and turned away from him with my shoulders slumped. “Sebastian said I’d make the choice to join him. But I won’t! I swear!”

“They won’t stop trying. You have the pendant so they want you.”

“The voice—Sebastian, asked me to join them and when I refused, he told me I would join them, that it was my destiny. Does that mean the choice has already been made? Why give me a choice when fate has already decided my path?” I wanted to scream. “I told you I’m going to fight with you. I choose light.”

With that Ethan sat down, suddenly looking tired. He barely looked me in the eye when he answered. “I don’t know what your destiny is. The only thing I can think of, like we told you before, is that your father was an Exiled. His blood flows through your veins. You have both the light of the Faithful and the darkness of the Exiled within you.”

“I will never join them, Ethan.
Never.”

Looking wary, he replied, “I know, Sam. I know.”

Somehow he didn’t sound convinced and it scared me. He sighed and patted my shoulder in a half-hearted way before walking upstairs to take a shower, and I was left to the questions circling through my head. When I turned back to stare out the kitchen window, my eyes were drawn toward the spot where the shadows had been. The only evidence that remained was a charred spot on the ground, as though the forest floor had been burned. Placing my palm on the window I closed my eyes and focused. When I opened them, the blackened earth was replaced by lush green grass.

CHAPTER 9

I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, and letting the music drifting from my iPod speaker clear my head when Ethan knocked on my door. At my answer, he walked in, that I-need-to-say-something-but-can’t-figure-out-how
look
on his face again. Neither of us spoke as he lay down next to me and stared at the ceiling, too. The silence dragged on as though each of us waited for the other to break the silence.

Time slowly passed as my iPod shuffled my
moody
playlist. Jack Johnson, Van Morrison, Sarah McLachlan, and Josh Groban filled the room. As John Mayer began to play, telling us to say what we have to say, I felt Ethan’s hand inch over to mine. Our fingers intertwined, palms touching, breathing even, nothing needed to be said.

***

Later, when we all sat down for dinner, the atmosphere felt strained. After Ethan left my room earlier, he’d been avoiding me like the plague. And since Lucas didn't know what went on while he was out, he was obviously confused.

“So, does anyone want to tell me why I’m sitting, having the most uncomfortable dinner in recent memory?”

“It’s nothing,” Ethan responded.

“Nothing?
If it was nothing, then why the silence, curt answers, and pushing around food on your plate?” When we didn’t respond, Lucas continued, “Okay.” He put his fork down and leaned forward. “So, what is it that you don’t want to tell me?”

Ethan pushed away from the table, looked at me and said, “It’s nothing.”

Lucas’ gaze shuffled from Ethan to me. I averted my eyes, confused by Ethan’s weird back pedal. The grip on my fork threatened to leave marks. I hated feeling like I did something wrong.

“Nothing,” I repeated as I, too, walked away from the table. Trudging up to my room and closing the door, I heard Lucas follow up the stairs soon after and walk into Ethan’s room. Their voices were muffled but I knew Ethan was quietly filling him in. It was obvious I was not meant to hear this conversation so I sat on the floor by my closed bedroom door and listened anyway.

“The voice told her it was her destiny, Lucas.
Like she’s meant to become an Exiled.
We’re grooming her to join the Faithful, but what if we don’t have any control over this?” Ethan’s voice was shaky with fear. I could hear him pacing the floor and was sure he was wearing a path in the hardwood.

“Ethan, we knew this was a possibility. With her family history and all, we know her line has spent the majority of their time following the Exiled. All we can do is inform her and educate her about the Faithful and hope she makes the right decision.”

“I don’t like it. You should’ve seen her when I walked in. She was saying ‘no’ but her body was casting a shadow. The air around her was humming. I think it’s time we moved her. I think it’s time we join the others. Maybe they can help. If we surround ourselves with them, maybe she won’t be so impressionable.” He sighed and I could picture him rubbing his hands over his face, exasperated.

“You might be right. Her father’s protection is wearing off. She’s been training and learning faster than we could’ve hoped but she still has difficulty controlling her gifts. She seems to still be controlled by her emotions. Now that we know what she can do, the others might be able to help us. But, honestly, Sebastian and his followers shouldn’t be able to interfere as much as they have been. She should be protected more than this.”

“Then let’s go! Let’s take her from here and go to Jesse where she can be protected in numbers.
Where she can be trained by all of us.
I feel like at any minute, she’s going to slip away and there’s nothing any of us can do.”

Their voices were muffled by the creaking floorboards of the old house as they continued to pace. I slowly cracked open my door so I could hear them better.

“Ethan, you’re going to have to hide your feelings a little better from now on.”

“What feelings? What’re you talking about?”

“I’m your brother. I know what she means to you. But you can’t let that cloud your thinking. One slip and it could all be over.”

What was he talking about? What feelings? Could Ethan really have feelings for me? That vibe I’d been feeling wasn’t just a one-sided hope? My heart jumped at the thought but the poison in Ethan’s response interrupted my fantasy.

“You should talk,
brother
. I see the way you look at her.
Like you’re hungry.
The way you’re always around her.
Always trying to soothe her.
Secretly watching her when you think no one is looking.”

“Someone has to. Let’s just remember whose side you’re on. You know it would never work.”

Could Lucas see the tension between us?

There was silence for a minute. I didn’t want to hear the rest but I was rooted to the floor. Then the air was filled with anger as Ethan spoke again.

“I was brought to your family as a child, Lucas. I may have been born into darkness but all I’ve ever known is light. I’ve been one of the Faithful ever since your father agreed to take me in. I’ve more than proved myself to you, to everyone. I’m tired of constantly having to show everyone which side I’m on. I’ve been more of an ally to both of you than you’ve ever known. Don’t you dare throw circumstances that have always been out of my control in my face
again.
”

What? Did I hear that right? I was frozen by Ethan’s cold and deliberate words and a cloud of confusion shrouded me. Ethan and Lucas weren’t actually brothers? What the hell was going on? Ethan was born an Exiled? What other secrets had they been keeping from me?

“Or what, Ethan?”

“Lucas, use your head. You’ve no idea what you’re insinuating.”

“Yeah, well, I just think
it’s
funny how they’re getting closer to her. They’re getting inside her head, and you never seem to be able to do anything about it when the shit goes down. You don’t seem to know how to do your job.”

“What’re you saying, Lucas?”

“Nothing.
Nothing.”
Exasperation filled Lucas’ words. “You’re right. Let’s just get her out of here.” He sighed. “This arrangement isn’t working. We need to go and be with the others. She needs more of us surrounding her, and you need to keep practicing with her.”

Ethan’s voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke again. “Well, you do whatever it is you have to do to make this happen. Call whomever you need to. Just get it done, and fast. At the rate we’re going, I don’t think we have much time.”

“Fine.
I’ll make the arrangements. Just watch yourself with her. Remember, it won’t work. It’s not
allowed
to work.”

With that, Lucas stormed out of the house, leaving me dumbfounded and scared.

“You may as well come out now. I know you heard everything.”

Feeling foolish, I slowly made my way down the hall. My legs were like lead. I stepped into Ethan’s room, trying not to make eye contact as he sat, looking defeated, on the edge of his bed. I could feel his eyes on me. Not sure what I should do, I tentatively sat down in the worn leather chair in the corner of his room. The air felt thick and I was having trouble catching my breath. It was hard to meet his eyes, but when I did, I noticed they’d changed from his usually brilliant blue to a dull gray.

There was something different about him.
About me.
The air was electric. I felt the usual tension between us building. I could still feel the lingering touch of his hand in mine, and I forced myself to relax.

Ethan cleared his throat.
“So, Sam.
Now you know. I was born an Exiled.
Terrible thing, really.
But the light is all I’ve ever known. I just wish he could see that.”

“But how?
All this time I thought you were brothers.”

“Well, we were brought up as brothers. My mother turned away from the Exiled and took me from my father when I was a toddler. The Trotters agreed to protect me and they raised me since I can remember. Lucas is actually my cousin. His father is my uncle.”