Torn to Pieces (The Boys of DownCrash #2) (new adult contemporary romance / rockstar romance) (6 page)

I sighed.

“Now you seem upset,” Scarlett said.

I looked at Scarlett and saw the puffiness of her eyes started to subside.  Her mind had started to clear a little and as much as I wanted to dig at her and find out what happened with Tripp, I figured it couldn’t hurt to let her forget about it for a few minutes. 

“I wanted to be with Tatum so bad last night,” I said.  “Like... you have no idea.”

“Why didn’t you?  We were all hanging out.  We got rides back to the garage.  They jammed for a little bit before Logan fell asleep.  He actually fell asleep sitting up while strumming a guitar.  Probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.”

“I didn’t want Tatum to think I was a slut,” I said.  No need to dance around Scarlett.

“Why would he think that?”

“Because everyone else does.  Thanks to me.”

“He wouldn’t think that.  He doesn’t care about what people think or say.”

“How do you know that?  Everyone looks at me as an easy lay.  They get what they want and leave.  Which is fine because it’s kind of how I wanted everyone to think.  I enjoyed being with guys... just not, you know, going too far.”

“Why though?” Scarlett asked. 

And there it was.  The big question.  The smallest question but with the biggest answer.

“Just because,” I replied, not wanting to dig deep into my past.  Not right then.  Not with Scarlett having something personal to share herself.

“Well, whatever it is, I think it’s sort of crazy.  I doubt Tatum would look at you as an easy lay.  Okay?  Once he got to know you, Maggie, how could he think that?”  Scarlett paused and then smiled a little.  “Plus, even if it was... you know, a one night stand, wouldn’t it be totally worth it?  I mean, you said with all those other guys you didn’t go all the way, so why not Tatum?  Think about that for a second.  Super hot drummer rockstar...”

“I guess I owe him one for saving me from Danny,” I said.

Scarlett nodded and drank her coffee. 

A weird silence crept in.  I didn’t want to talk about Tatum anymore.  I was getting really turned on and at the same time, my stomach churned, reminding me of everything that had happened in my life and whether or not Tatum deserved a mess like me.  Then again, I could just take Scarlett’s advice and enjoy him for a night. 

But I didn’t want to believe in one night... I had done that for a long time... I wanted to believe in forever.  I wanted to be promised forever, the right way, and I wanted to promise it back.

...promise me, Maggie, promise me...

“You need to talk now,” I said.

My heart raced and warm pulses were in all the right places in my body.  It felt wrong though because as Scarlett nodded, she started to tear up again.

“I know I do,” Scarlett said.  “But I’m honestly afraid right now...”

I closed my hand around Scarlett’s hand.  “Tell you what, why don’t I ask questions then?”

Scarlett nodded.

“Are you pregnant?”

Scarlett’s mouth fell open.  “No!”

“Good.  Are you engaged?”

Scarlett shook her head.  She swallowed hard, prompting me to go the opposite direction.

“Are you and Tripp over?” I whispered.

“No, we’re fine,” Scarlett said.

“Did you two have a fight?”

“No.  Unless you mean a fight with his bed sheets.”

“Ew,” I said.  “Just... ew...”

“Can I show you something?” Scarlett asked.

“Sure.”

Scarlett produced her left hand in a fist.  I thought
engagement ring
again even though Scarlett already said they weren’t engaged.  I thought then maybe it was a promise ring or something like that.  Like a pre-engagement.  The kind of things guys used to keep their girlfriends quiet for a little bit longer while they decided to actually propose. 

When Scarlett opened her hand, palm down, there were no rings on her fingers.  But I did hear something metal hit the table.  She took her hand away and I stared down at a... key.

A key?

“A key?” I asked.

I looked at Scarlett, confused.

“You don’t get it?” Scarlett asked.

“Is that the key to your heart?”

I couldn’t imagine Scarlett ever being that cheesy, but who knew.  I never thought in my wildest imagination that Scarlett would fall so hard for someone like Tripp.  But life just works that way, doesn’t it?

“No, it’s not the key to my heart,” Scarlett said.  “It’s a key to Tripp’s house...”

Tripp’s house...

That’s when it started to sink in. But Scarlett made it very clear a few seconds later.

“I’m moving in with Tripp.”

I felt like a boulder had been thrown at my chest.  I sat back and let out a long breath.

“I know,” Scarlett said.  “I know.  This is crazy.  I’m so sorry, Maggie.  But last night, we were in his loft, talking and, you know, fooling around... when I took his shirt off, he had the key on a chain hanging from his neck.  He wouldn’t tell me what it was for until I... well...
finished
...”  Scarlett’s cheeks burned red.  “Then he told me it was my key to his house but if I took it, I had to move my stuff in.”

“Did he threaten to break up with you?” I asked.

“No.  Not like that.  He wanted me to move in.  And I want to move in...”

“Of course you do,” I said.  “You two are great together.”

“Please, Maggie...”

“It’s okay,” I said.  It sort of wasn’t okay, but it sort of was.  “You need to live.  So do I.  We knew we wouldn’t live together forever, right?”

“I don’t know.  I never thought about it.”

“Seriously, think about it.  If we lived together forever, we’d end up single, stuck together, with like a hundred cats in our apartment.  We’d end up on some hoarding television show, digging through garbage to find each other.”

Scarlett smiled.  “I’m so scared though.”

“Scared of what?”

“Everything.  I’ll be living with a guy, for the first time ever.  And then... you.  I’m going to be abandoning you.”

“Abandoning me?” I asked.  “You’re not leaving the country, are you?”

“You know where Tripp lives.”

“I know, Scarlett, I was joking.”

“I’ll still pay half the rent here,” Scarlett said.  “I insist on it.  Tripp is going to let me live with him for free.”

“Well, not for free,” I teased and wiggled my eyebrows.

“If that’s payment, then I’ll keep buying,” Scarlett said. 

She started to laugh but then her voice cracked and she looked ready to break down in tears.

“Don’t be upset,” I said.  “I’ll be fine here.”

“Are you sure?  I mean, Maggie, you just admitted to me about who you are...”

“Who I am?”  I smiled.  “It’s not like that.  I just enjoyed extra attention.  Trust me, I’ll be fine.”

“You need to call Tatum,” Scarlett said.  “You need to enjoy him.”

“Maybe I will,” I said.  “But first I have to find a new roommate.”

“Don’t say it like that,” Scarlett said.  “I’m really upset here.”

“So am I,” I said.

“You don’t look it...”

Scarlett stood from the table and walked to me.  She reached into her pocket and produced another key.  I thought about making a joke...
was it a key to Tatum’s place too?
but I couldn’t when I realized what key she then placed on the table.

The key to the apartment.

Our apartment.

My apartment...

That’s when it really hit me.  The key on the table, the idea in my head of coming home, alone, all the time.  When I looked up at Scarlett, her eyes were as red as her face was.  She had more to tell me.  And part of me already knew what it was.

“How soon?” I asked.

In my head, moving out meant moving out soon... maybe a month or two.

“I’m thinking this weekend,” she said.  “I don’t want to screw you over, but if you want to find a new roommate, everything is paid for the month already.  That gives you some time then.”

I nodded and tried to bit my lip.  When I did I thought about Tatum and his lip ring.  For whatever reason that was the final straw to my already frail emotions.

I lost it then. My head lowered and the tears finally came.

Scarlett was on her knees a second later, touching my face, forcing me to look at her.  She had tears in her eyes again.

“It’s about fucking time,” she cried.

“For what?”

“For you to cry.  Damn you, Maggie, how do you hold that in?”

“Used to it,” I said, hinting at something much deeper and darker than losing my roommate. 

Scarlett hugged me and I hugged her back.  We somehow ended up gently rocking back and forth.  We stayed there for a good minute until I felt Scarlett’s sobs change into small fits of laughter.  It made me smile.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

Our heads rested on each other’s shoulders.

“Thinking about Tripp and Tatum.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Imagine if they saw us right now,” Scarlett said.  “They’d probably make some kind of comments...”

I thought about Tatum and Tripp, standing next to each other.  Tatum’s taller figure, looking down at Tripp’s wilder eyes.  I knew how they would have felt seeing Scarlett and I in such an embrace.  The crazy thoughts in their sick minds...

“Fucking perverts,” I whispered.

There was a second of nothing and then both Scarlett and I broke out laughing.

Scarlett wiped her eyes and checked the clock.  “Shit.  I have to get ready for work.”

“How long is your shift today?” I asked.

“I’m covering the afternoon and that’s it.  I’ll be home by six at the latest... with wine.”

“With wine?”

“We’re going to celebrate this place, just you and me.”

“That’s a deal,” I said.  “I have to go to the store and cover inventory, but I’ll sneak out by then.”

I worked as a part-time assistant manager at a local printing company.  The owner was a friend of the family and he let me pick and choose my hours and schedule.  It was a small company and he understood my college schedule - and my life - but he had been slowly letting me more into the business.  He and his wife were never able to have kids so they treated me as their
never-had
daughter.  He even hinted a few times about selling the business to me.  But my mind was too focused on school... and now Tatum...

I stared at Scarlett and we each took shaky breaths, teetering on crying again.  Together, we smiled and nodded, mentally agreeing that we’d save our tears for that night. 

Scarlett stood and called out that she had dibs on the bathroom first.  I didn’t bother arguing, soon enough the shower would be mine, all the time, whenever I wanted it.  I looked at the apartment key on the table and closed my eyes, torn between emotions...
should I cry over Scarlett leaving?  Or should I smile because Tatum had been talking about me all night?

~6~

I managed to get out of work by five, literally right after Scarlett texted me that she had gotten out of work too.  It felt good to have our schedules fall into place.  I ordered a pizza to pick up on the way home and Scarlett reminded me again she would be getting wine.  I thought for a second about asking if we should invite Tripp and Tatum to really make it a party in the apartment, but I think we both wanted it to just be us.  To talk about stories, look at pictures, watch our favorite movies, and cry a little more.

The idea was officially shattered when I got home with the pizza and found Scarlett on the phone with Tripp.  She was so happy, so giddy, so open and free.  I’d never seen her act like that before with anyone.  Not even with Andy, when he was still around.  Tripp really was the perfect man for her and it somehow just worked.  Their pasts collided and molded a future that worked for them.

And that’s exactly what I wanted.

I knew someone couldn’t sweep in and rewind time to change things.  I just wanted someone to come in and stare into my eyes and not down my shirt.  I wanted someone to follow my heart and not my reputation.  Even though it was the reputation I created, I wanted to destroy.

Scarlett saw me finally and ended the call with Tripp.  When she put the phone down, her smile was practically ear to ear, her face flushed.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“The things he says... they’re just so real, you know?”

“I actually don’t know,” I said.  “I live in a fake world, but I’m happy for you.”

I put the pizza on the table and opened it, inhaling the warm smell of cheese, sauce, and dough.