Torn (Torn Heart) (8 page)

             
She pulls her legs up, sitting sideways facing me. “Well, whatever is going on, you can always talk to me. When you’re ready, that is.”

             
I smile, really looking at her for the first time in too long. “Thanks Sky. You were always the one I could count on.” Our hands sit flat on the swing, so close I could just move my finger an inch and touch her skin.

I quickly dismiss that thought
and enjoy this moment.

Chapter 11

Skylar

Jared was right; his father was able to get me into his office, two days later. Not that I doubted him. But it seemed this week was a calmer, less busy week at Dr. Cruz’s office.

             
I step inside fifteen minutes before my appointment. “May I help you?” The receptionist asks, looking up from her desk.

             
I smile and sign in. “Yes, I’m here for my appointment at 4:30.” I put the pen down. “I’ll just sit and wait.”

             
She smiles back at me. “Dr. Cruz will be right with you.” I sit in a chair and pick up a magazine to kill some time. Jared also helped me with my Calculus, though I still feel stupid and know nothing, I was able to score an 85 on my test. I’ll take even a 70, as long as I pass the class. Why can’t I be good at math like him?

             
“Skylar?” My name is called and I lay the magazine back down and follow the nice girl to the room. “So it’s been a year, since you’ve had a cleaning I see.”

             
I nod, embarrassed, hoping I don’t have any cavities. But I know I have always kept up with my teeth, obsessed is more like it. I hate when my mouth feels dirty or my teeth look discolored. I floss every day and use mouthwash. I don’t smoke or drink, well not counting the times I drank alcohol with Jackson, but that was ages ago. I guess most would say I’m a goody goody. I’d prefer to call myself focused, trying to get through my high school stage, prepped for the real world. If high school is even half the glimpse of the real world, I’m not sure I’m ready.

             
I look up and smile at the handsome doctor of gums. “Hello Skylar. I’m glad to see you back here.” Paul Cruz, the man who half-created two boys I really care about, hugs me.

He’s handsome, a mix of both his sons. His hair has grayed over the years, but it doesn’t show too bad with his dark hair hiding it, he’s still very good-looking. He’s tall, probably six foot, or six foot one. His build is masculine, broad and I can see where the boys each have a certain feature of his, with dark eye brows and almost gray colored eyes. He’s a looker for sure, giving me a distinct vision of what both Jared and Jackson will look like at his age. They’ll be turning heads, that’s for sure.

              “Yeah, sorry. I’ve been good about brushing and flossing, so I’m not too worried about having any teeth pulled.” I shudder at the thought.

             
He pats the seat, “Let’s take a look, shall we?” I sit, leaning my head back as he turns on the light above and shines it in my face. I squint, trying not to be bothered by it. “So, how’ve you been Skylar?”

             
“Good, you know, just trying to get through my last year of high school, and get ready for my future.” He pokes and prods my mouth, and I try not to talk a lot.

             
“Any plans for after high school?” He pauses, “You still going to Europe with your mother?”

             
“Yep, after graduation. And possibly moving to New York and go to art school.”

             
I swallow as he begins the cleaning process, which I always found uncomfortable. My eyes close, but it doesn’t shut out the sound of the stuff going on in my mouth. His little tool hits a nerve and I flinch. “Sorry, I almost dropped this damn thing. Did I hurt you?” I shake my head. He continues. “So, New York, huh? Does your mom know all this?”

             
I produce a nod, since he’s got my mouth occupied and manage a tiny noise in the back of my throat to confirm. I brace the seat, tightly holding onto the arm rests. His assistant squirts water in my mouth while he does more prodding, followed by flavored fluoride. God, this is so uncomfortable, but at least it doesn’t taste too bad. I sit as still as I can so he can finish as quickly as possible. I learned over the years that the more I squirm and whine, the longer I have to endure such discomfort. Luckily, I never had to get braces; I wouldn’t have been able to handle that on my teeth. Retainer, maybe. But braces? Hell no.

             
I sit there a little longer, before he turns off his tools. He checks my gums a little more and removes a glove. “Your teeth look good. I see you keep up with them.”

             
I sit up and rub my front teeth. “Yep, I’m not one to have bad dental hygiene.”

             
“How’s your mother doing? I haven’t seen her much the last year or so.”

             
“Well, she’s pretty much keeping herself busy. She just works and comes home and works some more.”

             
He rubs his face, from an itch or something.  “I’m sure it’s hard for her. She needs to get out though.”

             
I pop my jaw in place. “Can I ask you something?” He nods his head and I continue, “Do you ever think about dating?”

             
He looks thoughtful before he says, “Well, I can’t say I
haven’t
thought about it. I’ve gone on a couple dates in the last few years. But I’m just too busy right now. I guess I haven’t really considered it too much.” It must be hard as a single father, raising two boys. At least my mother only had me to worry about, and not had to deal with sibling rivalry, plus I always hung out with Jackson and Jared so I wasn’t too difficult as a child.

             
I casually say, “I think my mom is avoiding the dating scene. I wish she’d get out and meet people.”

             
“I know you want her to be happy. But maybe she’s happy doing what she’s doing right now. Maybe once you’re done with high school, she’ll feel more ready to date.”

I smile, hoping he’s right. “Are you?” I always wonder if he thinks about my mom the way I think about Jackson. They were best friends and it’d be interesting if they got together. He’s a great
man, he’d be perfect for her.

             
“That’s a loaded question, but there are times I wonder if I’ll ever meet someone that makes me happy.”

             
“Can I ask you another question?”

He raises his brow, “You sure are inquisitive aren’t you?”

              “Yeah, sorry. I’m just wondering, and if you don’t want to answer, feel free to tell me to shut up.” He laughs, but waves me on, “So, what happened between you and my mom? Why did y’all break up?”

             
He fiddles with his tools, probably for a distraction. I suddenly feel like I’m stepping on unchartered territory. “Skylar, there are things that are sometimes beyond our comprehension. I cared about your mother; she was easy to be around when life was getting rough. My childhood wasn’t the best, so when we met in high school, she helped me through some tough times. But old habits are hard to break and I got involved in the wrong crowd, drugs and all that nonsense that kids your age tend to gravitate toward,” He gives me a stern looks, “Which I hope you don’t ever mess with. Anyhow, I lost her then, being a stupid boy that I was. We dated again in college, or tried to. I just wasn’t the best man for her. Your dad, he was ideal. He really complimented her; together they were a great pair. And yeah, there may have been some jealousy there, but I never hated him. He was like a brother to me, we got close. It was a shock when he died, and I felt like I lost a good friend.”

             
I sit quietly, taking in everything he just told me, trying to make sense of it all. I can hear the pain in his voice, the regret and remorse from the decisions he made as a kid my age. “Wow, that was-“

             
“Sorry, I didn’t realize how much I spilled. I know I unloaded quite a bit on you.” He moves away, running his hand through his hair. “Look, I love the relationship you have with my boys. You’re a great girl, a lot like your mother. I just hope they treat you with respect. I’ve noticed Jackson getting a little pissy with Jared and I don’t know what’s going on, he won’t talk to me.” I refrain from telling him it’s probably his stupid girlfriend. “But I hope whatever it is, he doesn’t have to deal with it alone. I know losing his mother was hard on him.”

             
I look up and nod, “I’ll make sure he doesn’t deal with it alone. I’ll get him to talk to me.” A smile comes to my lips, remembering our small moment on the swing. Whatever that was, it felt good.

             
I get off the seat, realizing we’re probably running into someone else’s appointment time. He turns to walk out of the room, but stops, as if he wants to say something. “Why don’t you and your mother come over for dinner this week? We can have a nice home cooked meal. And that way, she and I can catch up. What do you say?”

             
I hop off the chair. “I think she’d like that. I’ll talk it over with her and let you know. Thank you, Paul. I’m guessing, no cavities?”

             
“No cavities. Oh wait,” He leaves the room for a minute and I smile in satisfaction of my dental appointment. Thank goodness, my teeth are in good shape. “Here you go.” He comes back and hands me a bag, with floss, a toothbrush and toothpaste inside. I feel like a kid again, after getting a balloon or lollipop from my being a good girl at my doctor’s appointment.

             
“Thanks. See you in six months.” I smile and he winks. “Okay, I’ll see you sooner than that.” I make my six month check-up appointment before I skip out of the office, my mouth feeling fresh and clean.

             
Wasn’t there a song about being fresh and clean? I shake my head, and get in my car in a happy mood. Talking to Paul felt nice, even though I felt like I was prying, I was just genuinely curious why he and my mom didn’t stay together. But then, I smile, grateful that he didn’t or I wouldn’t be here. Or actually, Jared and Jackson wouldn’t be here. As much as I blame their mother for leaving them in a lurch, with no motherly guidance and adult, I feel that they’ve grown into great guys. 

             
I walk through the door. “Oh hello, dear. How was your appointment? Still cavity-free?” My mother greets me in the living room.

             
I set the bag on the table. “You know it. Paul invited us over for dinner this week. How about tomorrow?”

             
She walks into the kitchen cutting up some vegetables. “Really?” I wash my hands and help her. “What do you think?”

             
I nod enthusiastically. “I think it’s a great idea. It’ll give you two a chance to catch up.” I grab my phone to text Jared. “So?”

             
“Alright, I’m up for it. Today is Tuesday, so Thursday sounds good. I don’t have to go into work until ten that night.” It gets hard at times because most of the time my mom works nights, at the clinic. She’s a registered nurse and though she doesn’t get dibs on her hours, she can rearrange her shift with someone if need be. But I try not to let it bother me, being left alone. She’s tried looking for a job at another clinic or hospital with better hours, but she hasn’t had any luck.

             
Me: Hey tell, your dad we’ll be there for dinner on Thursday.

             
He responds right away.

             
Jared: Awesome. See you then. How was your dentist appointment?

             
Me: No cavity, your dad is the best dentist around.

             
Jared: Don’t tell him that, he’ll let it go to his head. I’m glad it went well. Talk soo
n


             
I go to my room to finish my homework before dinner is ready. I’m in a happier mood than normal which is good. I make a note to paint later, something that makes me smile. I like to paint not only when I’m mad or sad, but happy too. It helps me remember that life isn’t always gray or hazy. There are too many colors that describe a person’s life.

             
My mother calls from down stairs. “Skylar?”

             
“Yes?” I yell back.

             
“Invite Randa over for dinner if you want.” I don’t argue and dial her number right away.

             
She answers. “Hey, what’s up my awesome best friend?”

             
“Hey you, wanna have dinner at my house tonight?” I ask, eyeing the thing sitting on my bed.

             
“Be there in a few.” I smile and hang up, knowing exactly what she’d say; she can’t turn down my mother’s cooking. I set my phone down on my desk and walk over to my bed, picking up the photo of Jackson and me at the beach, it takes me back to two kids, five and six years old, innocent and close as ever. It’s a memory I’ll never forget, and hopefully I’ll remind him of our happy times.