Torrential (20 page)

"You can call her later," he says abruptly, surprising me. "We need to go."

I'm a little annoyed, considering the fact that I came up here to see Mom in the first place, but my pride won't let me skip a flight to have him buy me another ticket.

We rush outside, hail a cab and Sebastian hands the driver what I'm pretty sure is way too much money. In exchange, the twenty-minute drive to the airport takes ten, though I have to fight the urge not to cling to Sebastian in panic as the car shoots though Jersey traffic like a meteor.

Once we're through security, which only takes a moment, we see that the plane hasn't even started boarding yet. Sebastian leaves to go to the bathroom and I take the opportunity to call Mom.
 

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mom." I tap my fingers on the armrest of the airport seat. "I'm really sorry, but I guess we're leaving early. Sebastian bought tickets and there was no time for me to go grocery shopping for you, or—”

"Oh, honey," Mom interrupts, sounding surprised. "I thought you knew. Sebastian came by this morning with what must have been an entire grocery store's worth of food. He cleaned the house and put everything away. It was incredibly kind of him."

"He—what?" I trip over my words.

She lowers her voice. "And this morning, May...I don't know who else it could have been. I called the hospital to talk about the medical bills, and they were all paid up. Couldn't tell me anything more. Is Sebastian from a wealthy family?"

"Yeah, he is." Shock reverberates through me. Sebastian paid my mom's medical bills. Not only that, he stocked her house with food. 

"I don't know for sure that it was him, but I can't think of anyone else it would be. Please...thank him for me."

"I will." 

"Goodbye, May. Take care at school."

When I see Sebastian returning, I take a moment to study him. He wears that closed-off expression that makes him look cold, intimidating. Unapproachable. He has so much kindness bottled up inside him that's impossible to see from the surface.

As soon as he reaches me, I stand on tiptoes and kiss him. I let my lips linger. He's still not used to this kind of tenderness, and he tenses automatically with suspicion, surprise, before relaxing.

For a guy my whole school is scared to talk to, he's so damn vulnerable.

But then his tongue traces the inside of my mouth, and I'm momentarily relieved that the girl
s at school are scared of him—I get to be the only one who knows what he's capable of in the bedroom.

"Thank you for what you did," I say as soon as we break apart.

He keeps his expression carefully blank. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Who knew you were such a bad liar? My mom called me, Sebastian." I take a deep breath. "And thank you. But this is only a loan. I have some money saved from my old waitress job, and I can give that to you, but you'll have to wait for the rest until I find a new job near school -"

Suddenly his hands are on my shoulders, jolting me into silence. His eyes burn so hot that I'm sure it's filling the entire airport with intensity. "Don't, okay? Just let me pay for it. I have nothing else to offer you."

My first instinct is to remind him of what he offered me in the bedroom last night, but it
seems like bad timing.

T
he loudspeaker announces that our flight will start boarding in five minutes, but we don't move. He smiles crookedly. "I know what I am. I know you don't need to be wasting your time with me. So at least let me give you some of the perks of sleeping with a rich guy."

I slap him across the face.

The noise is louder than I expected, and a few heads turn. I wince, wondering if a slap is enough of a reason for them to call airport security, but apparently it's not. 

Sebastian touches the side of his face. I grab his wrist.

"You're not allowed to give me that bullshit anymore. I care about you, I keep telling you that, and I'm not going to let anyone treat you badly, especially you. If you're offering me anything, it's you. Just you. And that's more than enough."

He's quiet for a moment. Then he brushes his lips against my forehead, the barest kiss.

"You are so strange," he says quietly.

"Last call for boarding,”
the loudspeaker booms over our heads.

"And we're going to miss our plane if we don't hurry up," I say, though I hate to relinquish this moment, one where his gentlen
ess breaks through his shell.

But nothing lasts forever.

CHAPTER
FIFTEEN

MAY

When I walk through the door of my room, Opal greets me so enthusiastically it's like I've been gone for a month.

"May!" She flings her arms around me, the first time we've hugged. "You're back. I was worried about you. You packed a suitcase and flew out of here like you were on fire."

I can't remember if I told her about Mom's fall or not. "Family emergency. But everything's fine now. I kind of jumped the bullet a bit."

"I'm sure you did what you needed to do."
Opal steps back, her tangled hair bouncing. "But I'm glad you're back."

I smile, feeling the pinpricks of guilt. "Thanks. Hey, I'm sorry I've been such a shitty roommate this semester. We've barely gotten to hang out."

She flaps her hands dismissively. "No, I know you've been busy with Sebastian. How is that going, by the way? Did he miss you while you were gone?"

Her eyes glitter with anticipation.

"Actually, he came with." Warmth flutters in the pit of my stomach when I think about it. "He came just to make sure I was okay. And he did some seriously nice things for my mom."

Opal
's jaw drops. "Oh my God. He loves you."

"No, I don't know," I say hastily, but she's squealing.

"You made Sebastian Crane fall in love with you! That's like getting an ice statue to fall in love with you. I knew it would happen the moment I saw you. I just had a feeling. How's the sex?"

"Incredible," I blurt, and she squeals more loudly, clasping my hands.

"Tell me everything."

And I do, leaving out some of the dirtier details. I tell her how I've never been with anyone before, never let myself fall for a guy, until now. How strange and scary and wonderful it is.
 

"You don't mind the fact that he's a scathing prick?" she snorts.

This catches me off guard. A startling rage takes me. I'm so sick of people hating Sebastian. He's been through enough. "No. No, he's not. He's gentle and kind and—fuck it, he's amazing. Nobody cares about him because nobody's taken the time to get to know him—”

"All right, all right, girl,"
Opal laughs. "Defend your man."

But that flash of loathing I saw in her stays with me.

Despite it, I take the beer she offers me. We watch a couple music videos on YouTube and laugh on her bed, and at the end of it I feel a little less bad for our total lack of roommate bonding during the semester.
 

I should probably call Tanner. Should probably explain to him that it's looking very very likely that I've fallen in love with Sebastian Crane. That's going to be a tricky conversation.

I should probably do something to relax beforehand.

I ease off the bed. "
Opal, I think I'm gonna go for a walk before bed."

"I call bullshit. You're going to fuck your boyfriend." She closes the laptop lid and gives me a cheerful thumbs up. "S'okay. I get it. You do it once and suddenly you want to do it all the time. Need condoms?"

"I've been on birth control since I was fourteen. For my period."

She salutes me. "Then go get 'em, cowboy."

I don’t realize how horny I am until I’m practically running for Sebastian’s room, already breathless.

When I get there, I don’t bother knocking. I throw the door open. He’s lounging shirtless by the window, a textbook open on his lap. When he sees me, he blinks in surprise.

“May—”

I leap across the room and hurl myself into his lap, nearly knocking the chair over backwards, and shove my mouth against his. He responds with equal passion, and the two of us succeed in tipping over sideways. I land on top.

“What’s this for?” he pants, his eyes glittering.

“You dominated me last night.” I bite his earlobe and whisper, “Now I want a turn.”

His male pride is obvious in his expression. “You can try.”

I cast my eyes across the room and find my weapons—a belt and a hook near the ceiling, meant for hanging jackets on. I seize the belt and tighten it around his wrists before he can protest. Then I yank him after me, climb on his desk, and tie the other end of the belt around the hook so that he’s immobile, his arms pulled tight over his head.

He gives me a mocking smile. “You’re fast.”

I have a sudden urge to wipe that cockiness off his face. I smile. “And you’re wearing too many clothes.”

I find a pair of scissors on his desk and cut off his shirt.

“That was expensive.” He grins at me.

“I’m sure you can buy more.” I take a second to survey him—his slim waist, his swimmer’s abs, his muscular chest, his shoulders wrenched upward. His body is mine, to do whatever I want with.

I want to do a lot.

I grab his chin and kiss him hard, biting his lips, pushing my tongue insistently against his. He moans into my mouth. Just as quickly, I tear my mouth away and run my fingers down his abs. “You look fucking delicious.”

“So you do.”

“Too bad you won’t be seeing much of me,” I tease. I grab a piece of the shredded shirt from the floor and tie it around his head, standing on my tiptoes to reach—blindfolding him.

“
This is a side of you I haven’t seen yet.” There’s amusement in his voice.

“I’m rolling with it.” Seeing him tied up, unable to move, is making me so
hot. I slide his pants down over his hips. His hard-on is fantastic. I slide my tongue along the length of his shaft before slipping the entirety of it into my mouth. He groans as I suck him off.

“Don’t make me come.” I can hear the strain in his voice.

“Why not?”

“I want to do that inside you.” He’s grinning now.

And that seems like a great suggestion to me. I reach up and untie the belt from the hook. As soon as he’s freed, he picks me up and slings me over his shoulder. I half-laugh, half-shriek as he carries me to the bed and lays me there.

As soon as he penetrates me, waves of bliss cascade down my body.

I could get used to this.

SEBASTIAN

Something is happening to me. 

I feel different. I am different. I'm starting to be able to feel again, the emotions welling up from somewhere in my bones. It starts with May. This warmth I have for May. And for the first time in a long time, I'm feeling things less than hostility toward other people, too.

She's doing this. Changing me. I should be alarmed. Scared. She's taking away the control I've worked hard for a long time to perfect—my control over myself. My emotions. My coldness. But now I find myself smiling slightly at complete strangers in greeting.

My father would call this weakness. He'd say all it means is that I can be hurt. And that if I can be, I will be.

I'm starting to think it's possible that this is bullshit.

It's not an easy thing to let go of yet, not altogether, not at once. I know I'm still mostly frozen. But parts of me are melting. If I let this keep happening, I might be human again.

I might be able to feel alive again.

May's dozing beside me naked, the blankets thrown off her in the Florida heat. She's so beautiful. The soft curve of her hip, her pale full breasts, the express
ion she wears when she sleeps—like she's never been touched by anything bad. I want to keep it that way forever.

Love. Such an unfamiliar word to me. Strange to think that this might be it.

If I'm honest with myself, 'might be' has nothing to do with it.

May stirs like she knew I was thinking about her, nestling sideways into my arm before blinking awake. "Morning," she says lazily.

I'm scared if I touch her, she'll vanish. Disintegrate into nothingness. Just another ghost my nightmares conjured. But I touch her anyway, and she stays real.

"Morning," I say into her hair.

She leans back and smiles into my eyes. "Did you know that I'm glad you finally decided to stop pushing me away?"

"I have bouts of idiocy. I don't deny that."

"Yes, you do deny it," she smirks. "You think you're smarter than everyone at this school."

"I said I'm prone to bouts of idiocy. Most people here are prone to a lifetime of it."

She giggles. "And that's exactly what my professors will think if I miss another class. Which is why I gotta go."