Toss Up (The Toss Trilogy) (15 page)

“Amazing.” Diana’s eyebrow cocked and her voice was dry and disa
pproving.

“Yes, amazing. He suggested I should be spending time with Jim.”

Diana didn’t look as impressed as she should have, so Sally raised her eyebrows at her in a ‘So there!’ look. Then she grimaced. “I didn’t get into explaining why that won’t work.”

Diana shook her head. “There’s nothing I can say that won’t be r
epeating myself.” Her voice held equal measures of frustration and resignation, as she sighed and leaned back in the chair, crossing her legs. “What are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know. Do you have any suggestions?”

“No.” Diana stood up and walked closer to the desk where Sally sat. “I cannot begin to fathom why you are so against a relationship with Jim. I do not understand how you can abuse his feelings for you the way you do. And I have no idea what solution you would find acceptable. But if you and Tyler want to stay at the farm for a while, just say the word.”

“I can’t. If I do that, the creep wins.”

Diana’s lips compressed. “Exactly. Look, I have to get going. Good luck, Sally.” She turned and left without a backward glance.

The corners of Sally’s mouth fell and her shoulders sagged.
Now Diana’s walked out on me.
What was she going to do?
Everything is falling apart… And I can’t go home alone…
She wanted to cry.

Her heart literally ached, and she felt completely alone. Her two best friends, Diana and Jim, had deserted her.
Don’t be maudlin—you know it’s only temporary.
Well, she knew it was temporary with Diana—even serious disagreements with her former college roommate had never taken more than twenty-four hours to resolve. But Jim? He’d made love to her—from his point of view—and she’d thrown his confession of love back in his face.

I was as gentle as I could be…

Then he’d seen her with Daniel, and yesterday she’d told him not to come over.

It’s probably for the best in the long run, but talk about lousy timing…

The tension knotting her stomach sent bile rising in her throat. What would she do if Jim walked out on their friendship? What would she and Tyler do tonight? Her chest felt painfully constricted. There was no way she was taking her son home to that house alone—not until all the locks had been upgraded. And what would Tyler do without Jim?

What will I do without him?
She buried her head in her hands.
What will I do without him?

Worries circled in her brain until, at ten until five, when she heard the volunteers leaving and Nancy going about the final round of shelter chores for the day, Sally gave in. She would call Jim. She hadn’t been able to think of anyone else…

Well, I could call Tyler’s grandmother or Mom and Dad, or even Diana. But none of them are Jim.
When Jim was at the house, she felt safe. And though her weakness shamed her, and turning to a man she’d rejected embarrassed her, she needed to feel safe in her home more than she needed her pride. Fully prepared to beg if she had to, Sally picked up her cell, tapped three for Jim’s autodial and hit send.

He didn’t answer until the fourth ring. Had he been considering i
gnoring her call? When he spoke, his voice was cool and impersonal. “Yes, Sally?”

Her heart beat a rapid tattoo from its new position at the top edge of her sternum. “Jim, were you… that is, could you…” She took a deep breath. “Will you stay at the house with Tyler and me tonight? I got a
nother note today.” She hurried on, not giving him a chance to refuse—yet. “It was left in my bedroom. The locks hadn’t been picked—he either used a key or a credit card. The locksmith will come tomorrow. I don’t want to have to tell Tyler. I don’t want this creep to mess with his mind like he is with mine. Please, Jim. Will you come?”

There was a long pause.

Please help me. I need you. Please come.
But she pressed her lips together and waited in silence.

“Sally.”

She heard hurt and strength in his voice. She heard love and resignation. She felt… ashamed. Tears began to gather in her eyes, but she blinked them away.

“Diana told me where you were. I’m in my truck, Sally, sitting in the parking lot outside, waiting for you and Tyler.”

And the tears that she’d been holding back began to fall.

Ten minutes, a brief cry, and four anti-redness eye drops later, Sally and Tyler climbed into the cab of Jim’s truck. Tyler, bless him, launched into a full review
of Matthew’s party and Sally stared out the window, studying the graying sky and the skeletal branches of trees etched against it. She pulled her mail from the box, for once not nervous about that, and Jim watched her toss it on the dashboard. Unexpectedly, he put the truck in reverse and backed down the drive. She looked at him then, startled.

“Chicken,” he said. “Drive through take-out. It’s not the best, but it is the closest. Nobody’s cooking tonight, and Tyler’s about to crash a
lready.”

Sally looked at her son and saw it was true. He was drooping like a pup
after too much playtime. “Good idea,” she said softly. “Thanks.”

By seven, the food was gone, her son was in bed, and the kitchen was clean. Jim sat on the couch in the living room, legs stretched out,
watching television. He hadn’t asked about the note, or what the police thought. In fact, he’d barely spoken to her during dinner. But he was here, and she knew she and Tyler were safe.

Silently, Sally sat in the armchair by the end of the couch. Jim’s r
elaxed posture didn’t change. His eyes never moved from the screen. Feeling invisible, she studied him. Her gaze traveled from the slightly too long sand-colored hair down the lean planes of his face, to his lips. She lingered there a moment, remembering the feel of his mouth on hers. Her chest tightened around aching loneliness. He was here, but she was alone. Her gaze moved on to his chest and shoulders. They were broad yet lanky, like a cowboy. The fanciful comparison caused her lips to curve upward for a moment. Silly perhaps, but the description fit. There was a lean, rock hard toughness about him that was more mesmerizing than the over-inflated, gym-pumped muscles a few of the college-age volunteers aspired to.

She remembered how he scooped her up like she was some petite li
ttle thing—twice now. And she was no lightweight. Lean and strong, she weighed in at about a hundred sixty pounds. The way he handled her body fascinated her. And the way he handled his body—the speed, and fluid motion he could suddenly produce—well, it awed her… a little anyway.
I need to think of something else.

Too late.
She felt an effervescence of lust tingling in her veins. Tyler was asleep, his door shut tight. She knew what kind of lover Jim was and realized, now, that it was him she wanted. They needed to make up. It was uncomfortable having this coldness between them. She and Trent had always ended arguments in bed. Sometimes they had even started arguments in order to finish them that way. Well… she had, and she was pretty sure Trent had, too. It had been a game for them… She didn’t propose to fight with Jim, though.

She stood and moved to sit on the couch. “Jim?” She let warmth show in her eyes, and run as an undercurrent in her voice.

His gaze, polite and impersonal, met hers.

“I feel like I’ve messed things up between us. And I don’t want that. You’re my most trusted friend. You mean the world to both Tyler and me. She lifted her hand and put it on the warm muscle of his shoulder. “Can’t we patch this up somehow?”

His shoulders shifted, as he turned to face her directly. He reached up to the shoulder she caressed—she leaned forward slightly, her lips parted—and removed her hand, returning it firmly to her lap. “I won’t be used as a security blanket.” His blue eyes were icy. “Go to bed. No one will get past me to bother you or Tyler.” Dismissing her, he returned his gaze to the television set, and settled back as if she had already left the room.

Sally took a moment to absorb his rejection,
then rose to her feet. “Damn you, you high-handed, holier-than-thou, self-righteous prig!” She was taking a breath to continue when Jim raised his head. The look on his face stopped her cold. It was completely impassive and totally impersonal.

“That won’t work either. I’m not going to argue with you. Go to bed.” He paused, to catch and hold her gaze. “If you
don’t, I’ll leave.” And he turned back to the television.

Sally stood frozen for a moment. Anger and fear warred within her. Fear won. Safety won. She turned on her heel and went into her be
droom.

When he heard the door click shut behind her, Jim’s mask of indi
fference dropped. The tension he’d been disguising ebbed into pain and he sat forward rubbing his forehead. He was such an idealistic idiot. Why had he sent her away? He wanted her—she wanted him.
Like she wanted Smith?
It could be so simple.
Right. Just get in line, Jimmy boy.
No… No! He would not believe that.
Scared to find out?

Why did he always complicate matters?
Why was it so important that she love him? It would be so much smarter to settle for what he knew she was willing to offer. She cared for him—deep down inside she might already love him. What did it matter that she wouldn’t, or couldn’t, admit it? Why was he making life harder for them both?

He stood, half intending to go to her. Hell, he’d already abandoned his principles once. Why try to step backwards now?
Because I don’t want an affair, I want a marriage.
He sank slowly back onto the couch, and turned off the television.

I want a family
, he added, thinking of Tyler.
I want forever.

A scream from the bedroom ripped into his deliberations, sending him hurtling to her bedroom door—it was locked. Rearing back he slammed his boot into the door, splintering the plank, and leapt into the room.

Sally stood next to the bed in a soft old tee shirt. Her arms were pulled tight against her chest and her face was contorted in horror. She had flipped the covers aside, preparing to slip between the sheets. A tumult of red marred the bottom sheet—a scrawl of venom in permanent marker, left to be found at night, when she was undressed, unguarded, most vulnerable.

He grabbed her and pulled her to him, turning them both so her back was to the bed, pressing her face into his chest, blocking her screams
with his body. The bastard had succeeded. Her control was broken, her sense of security destroyed.

“Sally!” He gave her a sharp shake, and was relieved when she switched to sobbing instead. Looking over her shoulder, he read the words that bled into the sheet and through.

‘
Is this where you break your vows, slut, and betray your husband? You give yourself to any man—a whore free for the taking. You’ll play the whore for me as well, a fitting punishment. Then we’ll begin again. Semper fi.’

Jim’s hands clenched. He wanted to choke the life out of the slimy cretin responsible for this. Sally squirmed against the pain of his grip and he immediately gentled it, still holding her firmly against him. Awareness of the fragile woman in his arms, and his own need to be there for her, helped sanity reassert itself.

An hour later, Jim stood with Officer Demarco, looking at the me
ssage left in Sally’s bed. Sally was in the living room, having already given her statement.

“Wordy little shit, isn’t he?” The officer carefully removed and folded the sheet.

Jim nodded stiffly. “But he’s careful. He hasn’t given us a clue to his identity except the ‘Semper fi’ signature, and I’m wondering if it’s meant as a red herring. I’m pretty sure this guy was never a Marine.”

“Yeah? Why?” Demarco was putting the sheet into a large plastic bag.

“The general state of the spot we found he’s been watching her from. It was amateurish—undisciplined. Did the forensics crew find anything worthwhile there?”

“No. Like you said, he’s careful. And he’s no amateur at freaking out a woman. It’s good you were here.” Demarco looked at the stains on the
mattress pad where the marker had seeped through the sheet. “Let’s pull this off, too.” The officer suited his action to the words. “I don’t think she’s going to want to keep it. I’ll take it along and toss it in the dumpster at the station if you like.”

“I’m sure she’d appreciate that.” Jim kicked aside the remainder of the defiled bed linens and began remaking the bed with fresh sheets he’d pulled from the hall closet. He had a feeling Sally wouldn’t be sleeping in her room tonight, but she’d surprised him before. It was best to be pr
epared.

“If you care about her, you’re going to want to stick like glue,” D
emarco said. “He’s taken a huge step beyond writing notes, here. Things may be coming to a head.”

“She won’t be alone. I’ll see to that.” The two men looked at each ot
her in mutual understanding.

“Good.” Demarco turned and left the room. Jim started to pull the soft white cover back on the bed, then changed his mind and, bundling it with the other linens he’d removed, tossed them all on the floor of the guest bathroom. As he entered the living room, Officer Demarco was letting himself out. Sally stood in the entryway, shivering despite the sweats and athletic shoes she’d pulled on while they waited for the police to arrive. Jim put his hands on her shoulders and held her facing him. Her skin looked gray and the green eyes were shadowed. She was in no shape to be brave tonight, and he wasn’t going to give her the chance to try.