Totem (14 page)

              He hugs me then kisses me on my forehead. I feel his strong muscles as he presses me into his chest. Even through the rain I can smell Ty’s scent and it is intoxicating. My heart races as I think of all the things I want to do to Ty. Before my thoughts finish, he releases me. He walks over and retrieves the blanket and basket then wraps his free arm around me. We walk leisurely through the pouring rain back to the car as the perfect moment for a first kiss has come and gone.

              He opens my door first.

              “I’m all wet,” I state, “I don’t want to get your seats wet.”

              “I’ll have them detailed tomorrow,” Ty replies. “Besides how else were you planning on getting home?”

              I shrug and then hop in the car. I look down at my purse in the back seat thankful that I left it in the car. Ty closes the door behind me. I feel the car move as he opens up the trunk and throws the picnic gear in the back. I watch as he walks around and opens his own door. His thin shirt sticks to his body revealing every muscle in his torso. It is beyond impressive.

              The ride home is filled with chatter. We discuss class and then move into shows on MTV resting finally on Britney Spears. A short drive and we were in front of the dorms. I look out the car window at the streets filling with water. The amazing thing about New Orleans is that it is so below sea level that everything begins to flood during a rain storm. Ty hops out, walks around the car and opens my door.

              “Thank you,” I say stepping out. Ty closes the door behind me causing his body to shift close to mine. I am stuck in between Ty and his car. I feel passion building up inside me as I take in Ty’s scent. Once again my breath hitches and I feel my heart stop.

              “Thank you for the picnic.” Replies Ty. “Sorry I got you wet.”

              Oh I would let you get me wet anytime. I think to myself.

My breath hitches in my throat and my heart beat starts again more urgently than when it stopped. Ty hears my breath and looks at me. He looks into my eyes then down at my lips. I want to take his lips owning every single sweet kiss they emit, but I will not be the first to make a move. I pause, waiting for Ty to kiss me. He lingers. His eyes search my face darting back and forth as if trying to decide what to do.

              Finally he reaches a decision. I hold my breath in anticipation for the kiss I have been waiting to receive. He begins to lean in. I close my eyes. Then I feel his kiss land on my forehead. My breath releases as all the anticipation drains from my body and is replaced with disappointment. I keep my eyes closed for fear that they will give my internal emotions away.

              “Can I call you tomorrow?” Ty asks in a low, husky voice.

              My disappointment slightly lulled by these words as hope rises. I nod my head. Regaining my composure, I open my eyes and smile at him thankful I gave him my number earlier.

              “I had fun today.” I state.             

              “Nap and all?”

              “Nap, rain and all,” I reply. I lean in and give him a lingering hug. His muscular arms wrap around me as I breathe him in one last time today.

              “Talk to you tomorrow.” I state as I lean in kissing his cheek wishing it was his lips.

              That is that. The moment for our first kiss came and went. I cannot help but feel let down as the moment falls further out of reach. I leave Ty’s side and begin walking towards the front doors of the dorms. After the first steps, I chance a look back at Ty. He is still in the spot where I left him. He waves and then starts walking around his car. I go up the second set of stairs then turn around to glance back at Ty again. I look at his face. Then immediately I stop dead in my tracks watching the scene that unfolds before me.

Ty has not hopped into his car, yet. He is staring down at some unknown spot on the road. His face registers different emotions as his body seems to be conflicted. One sad look sends him to his driver’s side door. Then a resolute look stops him as he moves onto the side walk and towards me. Then immediately he turns around. I stand soaking wet in the rain with my arms crossed and a smile on my face as I watch Ty’s internal conflict go on externally. He turns a few more times. It isn’t until his back is turned towards me that he lifts his head one final time. He stomps in one resolved and final motion. Quickly he turns, his face lined with determination in his final decision. With purpose in his eyes, he throws his hands down and takes the first decisive step towards the dorms. The bold look of intensity across his face and purpose filled step are halted when he notices me. All the determination fades as his face softens. In its place draws a smile as he realizes I have been there the whole time.

The jig is up. I caught him in the act and there is only one thing left for him to do. Quickly he walks up to me taking steps double at a time. With one fell swoop I am in his arms and with all the determination back on his face, he kisses me. Electricity pools through are lips and my knees grow weak as the most fantastic kiss continues. This is not a kiss of an inexperienced high school boy that I had the awkward pleasure of when growing up but rather a kiss from a grown man.

              The initial kiss lingers on my lips and he begins to move kissing deeper and deeper until we run out of breath. As we come up for air I whisper through the rain.

              “It’s about time.”

              A smile crosses his face.

              “I wanted to do that ever since I met you.” He replies. I knew I felt the same way.

              “Why didn’t you?” I ask.

              “Not sure, but I’ll do it again now.”

              With those words he places his hands on the contours of my jaw. Then, he kisses me again as he lifts me off the ground one more time. The rain pours and in that instance I knew we will be doing this again and again. Finally he lowers me back down to earth. I hold him tight waiting for the strength to come back to my legs. He stares deeply into my eyes.

              “So I’ll call you tomorrow?”

              I nod my head.

              “Thank you for the kiss.” Ty says as he releases me.

              I feel my face turn red. From anyone else, those words would sound weird. From Ty, it is the perfect ending to the most perfect first kiss. I watch as he walks back to his car and hops in looking so carefree. With a smile on his face, he winks at me then drives off.

              Feeling lighter than air, I turn on my heels and walk into the dorms.

              That was the most perfect kiss. I think to myself and I know I wanted more. I know I want Ty.

              The kiss in the rain left me wanting more. Ty called the next day like he said he would. We talked for an hour. It didn’t matter what we were talking about, just being on the phone with Ty was more than enough. In a way, it was relaxing. I didn’t have to poise myself or wonder what he was thinking through his expressions. It was just our voices. Anything more would lead us quickly into trouble.

              Finally, I had to get off the phone and finish my homework. There was French homework and biology reading that I had put off until now. Diligently I sat at my desk until it was complete. I began putting away my books when I heard my text message notification. I look down and see a message from Ty. With a smile on my face, I click it open.

            
 
Finish your homework? – Ty

              Yep! All done
!
– Kimber

              Good. I’m about to go to bed and wanted to say good night. –Ty

              Thinking of me before bed? ; ) – Kimber

              Maybe… – Ty

              : ) – Kimber

              Good night. See you in class on Tuesday. : ) – Ty

              Good night : ) – Kimber

              I walk into the bathroom and brush my teeth. My thoughts stay on Ty and the weekend spent with him. I hear the door click and see Michelle cross the room. I spit in the sink.

              “Hey,” I greet her.

              “Hey,” replies Michelle.

              “How was the library?”

              “It was ok,” replies Michelle.

              I wash off my face then walk into the room. Michelle looks drained. I chalk it up to too much studying. She flips on the television as she begins getting ready for bed. I change into my night clothes which usually consist of a comfy pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I go to my mini fridge and grab a bottle of water. I hear the shower start in the bathroom as Michelle’s clothes begin to fly around. Slowly I close the door to give her privacy. Michelle is one of those people who does not mind either way. I am still getting used to the idea of being naked in front of other people. I screw off the water cap as I make my way over to our dorm room window.

              I stare out into the blackness of the night. The darkness cut only by splotches of light casting shimmering gold everywhere. The campus looks deserted at night with only a few people scampering back and forth. My eyes gaze across the landscape. A raven that I can only assume is from the night it rained flies across the court yard.

              I have seen many ravens before, but this one is different. It settles on the building next to our dorms perching on the corner. It is a big black raven like any other. However, like other birds who seem to perch up high looking down for food. This one perches low looking up and it is looking at me. I drank my water as I looked down at this peculiar bird. I watch him as he stares back at me. I am so ensnared in its gaze that I didn’t notice little Michelle sneaking behind me.

              “Boo!” Exclaims Michelle as she grabs my shoulder.

              I jump up sending droplets of water all over.  Michelle lets out a giggle.

              “Sorry, I had to do it,” replies Michelle. “What are you looking at any way?”

              “There is a raven over there,” I reply. “It looks like it is staring at us.”

              Michelle’s desk is in front of the window. She steps up on her desk chair to get a better look. Her body has droplets of water clinging to it. Her towel is wrapped around her.

              “Hmmm,” replies Michelle. “Should we give him a show?”

              I smile at her and shake my head.

              “What?” Asks Michelle as she hops off of the chair and opens up her wardrobe. I walk across the room and hop into bed. Michelle drops her towel and changes right then and there. The open wardrobe door blocks part of the window. That mixed with her small stature means people outside would not be able to see her change.

              It is time for bed and I feel sleep beginning to claim me.

“Can you hit the light when you’re done?” I ask Michelle as I lift the blankets up from my bed.

              “Yes, Ma’am,” replies Michelle.

              “Thank you.”

              Slowly I begin to fall asleep. My mind drifts from topic to topic as I think of everything that happened this weekend. In only a few days, everything has changed yet remains the same. The biggest change perhaps is me. I am falling for a guy and I am falling hard. Something deep inside draws me to him. With him, I feel a new energy being released that I have never felt before. Where this will take me, I do not know. I ponder it as I fell asleep. I relive our date and happiness warms my heart. I feel his kiss as I am just about asleep and the last image, for some odd reason, was the black raven outside my window.

             
It’s official. I
think
as I walk up to the side door of the dorms. My body has gotten used to the heat and I am not dying.

              I just finished my first three mile run I have ever done while in college and I feel completely ok. Sure my heart beats a little bit faster than usual as my body is drenched in sweat like I dumped a bucket of it on me, but the point is I completed it. It is the first run where I didn’t feel completely exhausted by the heat. Feeling good, I saunter through the sliding doors of my dorm building a look of victory across my face. Mentally, I reach around and give myself a pat on the back for a job well done. Now all I need is a shower. Before I open the door leading to the stairs, I hear my roommate’s voice call from behind me.

              “Kimber!”

              I turn and see little Michelle running full force towards me.

              “I’m so glad I caught you. I tried calling but obviously you don’t bring your phone running. Daniel and the guys are outside and you have to come now.”

              She is bouncing with excitement in the typical Michelle fashion. I look at her quizzically. Now I have to decide between taking a cool shower and throwing my stinky sweaty self into a car with a bunch of guys. The latter of the two is less than ideal, but Michelle has one of her pleading looks on her face as she waits for my response. I need more details before I answer.

              “What’s going on?”

              “We are doing ice block luging,” replies Michelle. “It’s like sledding but without the snow and you are going to probably get even dirtier. So just come with me. See look. I’m not even wearing nice clothes so you will be fine.”

              Michelle did not wait for my decision. She grabs my hand and with all her little might pulls me away from the staircase towards the lobby. I give into Michelle’s adventure as we walk through the lobby and out the front double doors. In the front of the dorms is a big old truck filled with half a dozen guys honking.

              “Hop in the back,” shouts a guy I didn’t know from the front passenger side.

              Daniel waves at us from the bed of the truck. His back is propped up on the cab as he sits in the bed. I step up on the tailgate to hop into the back of the truck only to be halted. There in the bed were four huge ice blocks sitting on an old carpet. I side step the blocks of ice as I cautiously make my way to the front of the truck. I sit beside Daniel as Michelle wedges herself on the other side in between Daniel and one of his frat brothers. I think they call him Roadie or something like that.

              “You might want to sit like this,” states Daniel pointing to the way he was sitting as an example. “We put the carpet down so the ice blocks won’t slide, but just in case you can kick them away."

              Daniel winks at Michelle and she smiles. We adjust our legs as quickly as possible and it wasn’t a moment too soon as the truck speeds off. We didn’t go very far away. The driver found a spot just off of the lakefront and parked. I look out onto the large hill like levee covered in grass. We hop out of the back as the guys drop the tailgate to unload the giant blocks of ice.

              “So what exactly are we doing?”

              “It is called ice blocking,” states Daniel with a big smile. “Just watch.”

              Daniel grabs a beer out of the cooler and pops the top. My attention follows the group of guys as they carry the ice blocks to the grass. As soon as they got to the grass, they place them down gently and begin to slide the ice over the grass up the hill finally reaching the top. They place a towel on top of the block. Next they sit on the block. I watch intently as they slide up to the edge. Eventually they find the point where the block rocks back and forth. Right before going over, they lean back. The block slides down the levee taking them with it. Some of the guys cheer for the first block ride of the day.

              “The ride gets faster as the grass gets slicked down,” states Roadie. “Wanna try?”

              “Sure,” I reply.

              In no time at all, I am pushing one of the blocks up the hill. The block seemed like it would be heavy but actually ended up not being that bad. I was up the levee in no time. I place a towel over it then sit on top of it. I look down the hill.

              These levees have got nothing on the sledding hills in Pennsylvania, I think as I tilt the ice forward.

              Gravity begins to take over and I lean back. The block goes forward taking me with it as I slide quickly down the hill picking up speed. I hold my legs up making sure not to touch the ground as the block speeds down. The wind whips my hair back and I cannot help but smile as the sensation makes me feel alive. Eventually the block slows down. A sense of accomplishment washes over me as I notice I have gone further than the rest of the guys. I hop up and slide the block over to Michelle so she can have a turn.

              “Where did you get the ice blocks?” I ask Daniel as we watch Michelle.

              “At a warehouse.” Replies Daniel.

              “Cool.”

              “You could also make them, but that takes time, effort and a big enough freezer. Plus you got to plan ahead which is not our strong suit.” Roadie interjects.

              Roadie smiles at me as he takes another beer out of the cooler. I turn my attention back to the hill as more fun begins to unfold. Gradually the ice blocking becomes more intense as unsatisfied college guys begin more thrill-seeking maneuvers. One stands up and attempts to surf the block. This results in a front roll that isn’t all too graceful. Then there is the ice block under each foot which didn’t really even get off the ground. Each idea that comes up seems sillier than the last, but it is all in the name of fun. I opt just to slide down the hill normally with my most adventurous move being a penguin slide.

              An hour later, the case of beer is gone and the ice blocks are melting under the heat of the sun to the point where we can no longer ride them. The guys ditch the ice blocks at the bottom of the levee to finish melting and hop into the truck. Our brief escape from the responsibilities of college has come to an end.

              I hop back into the bed of the truck with Michelle. Michelle and I sprawl out freely as the threat of ice blocks crushing our legs is gone. The wind whips my hair back as the truck speeds off back to the dorms. I close my eyes letting the feeling of the wind cross my face. Our small adventure brings a new surge of happiness to me.

Being in college is the first time I am truly able to experience dropping everything just to go have fun without having to account for my location to parents. We pull up to the dorms. Michelle and I hop out of the truck. To our surprise, Daniel also hops out. Our ice blocking buddies give us a few more farewell honks before speeding off.

              “Where are you going?” asks Michelle

              “To my dorm room.” Daniel replies with a smirk.

              “So you actually moved into your dorm?” Michelle asks.

              “Yeah,” replies Daniel. “I kept staying late on campus to study and needed a place to crash so I fixed up my dorm for the few times I will crash there.”

              “What does your roommate think of it?”

              “He isn’t really there all the time either. I think he lives around here as well. So it’s perfect actually. Do you want to go check out my room?”

              “Yeah,” replies Michelle.

              I smile at Michelle’s reaction. Her voice sounds calm but I sense her excitement. It is like she just got a gift and it is in the form of Daniel. I turn to see her smile reflecting the excitement in her voice as we walk to the floor all our rooms are on.

              “So do you guys go ice blocking often?” I ask undoing the key from my hair tie which I wear around my wrist when I go running.

              “Yeah,” replies Daniel. “It’s fun as long as we can get a hold of some blocks of ice. It is definitely a great way to pass the time when you are bored.”

              “So that’s what college kids do when they’re bored.” I comment.