Totem (5 page)

              “Well,” interjects Michelle. “I think it is time for us to head back to the dorms and take showers. We will see you two on Thursday.” Michelle grabs my hand and pulls me towards the door. “Nice meeting you Ty. Bye!”

              She pulls me and I manage a quick wave before disappearing out the building. Eventually, she lets go of my hand as I get my bearing and walk forward on my own.

              “Why Miss Kimber! I do declare!” repeats Michelle from earlier. “You have a crush on him! You know what? I think you intrigue him too. Look at the way the two of you stared at each other.”

              “Shut up,” I reply. I feel my body going back to normal. Being around Ty felt like I was standing on the edge of a bridge with a bungee cord strapped to my ankles staring down about to take the plunge. All my senses were heightened and adrenaline ran through my body. However, as soon as I take a step away from the edge, everything calms down. Now that I am away from Ty, I calm down. How can a person I just met have this effect on me? I did not understand.

              Infatuation, I think. All these feelings coursing through me is nothing but lust for a gorgeous man.

              “He is very attractive,” Michelle eggs on.

              “Yep,” I respond. I let out a slow breath as my heart rate reaches its normal pace. Michelle looks at me as we walk. A huge smile that is not going away is across her face.

              “What?” I ask.

              “Ugh huh,” replies Michelle.

              She left it at that. This is a side of me that Michelle has not yet seen, but it is also a side of myself I have never seen. Sure, I have had crushes before, but this is something different. This one hit me like a ton of bricks. Its symptoms lasting long after the cause was removed. Something deep down inside of me had surfaced when I laid eyes on Ty. I let out one more sigh. My heart rate is completely back to normal. The intoxication caused by Ty’s presence was wearing off and the brief cloudy haze, a side effect, has lifted. It is gone for now. At least it is gone until Thursday

             
Andrew and I
chill out on my bed watching a movie. It is the Saturday directly after I first laid eyes on Ty and he remains in my thoughts. After making a minimum amount of conversation the first time, I stayed true to form by only saying a total of ten words the next time I saw him and yes I counted all ten words.

              The first word was ‘hi’ as he walked past me followed by a ‘how are you?’ We exchanged awkward looks. I would flash him a few dumb smiles. He would return them with crooked yet cool ones. We were picked to be on the same team this time. The next words I spoke were ‘your turn’ as I handed him the ball. Our fingers touched sending electricity coursing through my body jumpstarting my heart. He smiled as I released the ball into his hands. The next words were ‘see you next class.’ He returned them with yet another crooked smile sending my heart racing and butterflies shooting through my stomach one last time before vanishing.

              “So tell me again about this guy Michelle says you have a huge crush on,” insists Andrew as he grabs another chip out of the communal bag between the two of us.

              I glance at him. I didn’t realize I had drifted off until he spoke.

              “So you and Michelle have been talking about me,” I squint at Andrew. “What else do you two say about me?”

              Andrew smiles broadly.

              “Currently, it is just of the new guy.”

              “Well,” I reply. “He is very pretty to look at.”

              “So Michelle tells me,” interrupts Andrew.

              I smile at him as I take a chip out of the bag. I will have to remind Michelle of the roommate confidentiality clause when she gets home.

              “He is handsome,” I reply, “but I don’t know him. We just met this week. I am just going to chalk it up to infatuation.”

              “Infatuation is all you need, honey!” Exclaims Andrew

              I roll my eyes at him.

              “Listen Kimber,” begins Andrew as he hops up on a metaphorical soapbox, “you are in college and this is your time to take chances. Experiment with your feelings. This is your time to be selfish about what you want for yourself. I say go for it as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. You need to explore life and figure out what you want in a relationship as well as in life in general NOW before it is too late.”

              “Wise words from a young man,” I jest at Andrew.

              Andrew shrugs his shoulders.

              “Well, maybe it is just me justifying what I do,” winks Andrew, “but it is also good words to live by. Eventually, you will have to test the waters. What better place to do so than in college? It will be up to you if you want to jump right in or test out the waters with your little toes. Either way, I say test it out with the hottie!”

              Andrew was very insightful. These past few weeks have been awesome in so many ways, but I have been living only minimally out of my comfort zone. Eventually some event will push me out of that safety circle and knock me to the ground. Perhaps it would be best if I were the one choosing the event. I look up at Andrew’s smiling face and smile back. He was offering friendly advice that comes from someone who really cares about you. In that brief moment, I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. I felt very lucky to have a friend like Andrew.

              “You’re a good person,” I compliment.

              Andrew shrugs his shoulders. This made my smile grow bigger. He nudges me jokingly then throws a chip at me.

              “Am I still a good person?” He jokes.

              I throw a chip back at him.

              “Yes.”

              Our bonding moment is quickly interrupted by the sound of keys harshly being pushed into the door and locks turning quickly. Andrew and I stare blankly at the door waiting for whatever flurry is going to come rushing through. After the second lock turns, the door flies open to reveal little Michelle. Her grin stretches from ear to ear as she bounces into the room.

              “HEYYYY!!!” She lets out throwing her shopping bags on the chair.

              “Hi, Michelle,” I reply.

              Her hair is frizzy from the humidity outside. She is dressed for the hot weather in short shorts, a tank top and flip-flops.  Her smile, which is already big, seems to grow bigger as energy emulates from her bouncing around the room. It is hard not to return her smile.

              “Ok,” begins Michelle as she takes off her flip-flops and uses my desk chair to boost up in to the spot on the bed beside me. I move closer to Andrew giving Michelle a little more room. “So you can’t say no to this because I really need you to come with me.”

              “What do you need?” I ask

              “So I just got off the phone with Daniel,” begins Michelle talking a mile a minute, “and he wants to go out for dinner tonight.”

              I smile at Michelle. She has had her eyes on Daniel since the first time I met him. It is good to see him finally picking up on it.

              “That’s great!” I reply. “So why do you need me?”

              “Ok,” she begins again. “So a little birdie told Daniel that one of his frat brothers might have a little crush on you and wants to get to know you better. The problem is he is too scared to ask you out on a date with just the two of you. So he wants to do a set up where we have a double date. That way it is not awkward for the two of you.”

              I roll my eyes at Michelle and give her a questioning look.

              “You know the guy,” pleads Michelle.

              “Who is it?”

              “Well, its Jake… Please, please, PLEASE do this for me. I really like Daniel and want to get to know him better. Plus it is not really a date. In fact Andrew could even come if he wants. Do you want to go Andrew?”

              Michelle was grasping at straws.

              “Umm no,” replies Andrew. “I have plans tonight.”

              “What kind of plans?” asks Michelle

              “Plan plans,” replies Andrew with a wink. “A few of us guys are going to hit Bourbon Street and Oz.”

              Oz is one of the bars at the end of Bourbon Street. It is part of the rainbow district and is definitely a good place for Andrew to go cruising for guys. I let out a laugh as Andrew winks once again at Michelle.

              “Ugh. Ok,” states Michelle rolling her eyes. “Andrew’s out, but Kimber, you have to come. It won’t work if you don’t go and Jake is CUTE! He has that long scruffy hair and do you remember how gentlemanly he was buying us drinks. He is a great guy!”

              “So he is a good guy because he bought us alcohol?” I joke

              “Yeah,” replies Michelle. “PLEASE…”

              “Dip a toe in,” interjects Andrew.

              I give him a look then throw another chip at him. He is right. I need to experience what college has to offer. It wasn’t like I was going on a date alone. Michelle would be there with Daniel. I look down at my blanket pondering all my options and who should pop through my head but Ty. He was the guy I really wanted to go on a date with. I did not understand my pull towards him. Nor did I believe he would really ask me out only after meeting each other twice. Maybe he would never ask me out. He seems so unattainable and here is a guy who wants to go on a date with me. I even like how he did a set up date that way I would not feel uncomfortable with him.

              Dip that toe in, Kimber.

              “Ok!” My eyes roll back and then meet Michelle’s. I nod my head.

              “Yay!” Exclaims Michelle as she gives me a hug. “Thank you!”

              She jumps down out of my bed and runs into the bathroom to start getting ready. Andrew smiles at me.

              “I’ll dip a toe in,” I state acknowledging that I am listening to Andrew’s advice.

              “Honey,” he replies. “It’s just a little dip. I’ll know the guy when I meet him who makes you dive right in.”

              With those final words, Andrew gets up out of my bed and walks towards the door.

              “With as much pent up sexual frustration as you have, I am more than positive you will cannon ball in sooner rather than later with some guy.”

              My jaw drops. Andrew achieves the reaction he is looking for. He laughs at me as he closes the door.

             
SINCE this is
only a
“pseudo date”, Michelle and I opted to meet the guys out at the restaurant. Thankfully, the guys saved us the trouble of choosing a place by picking the restaurant themselves based on our recommendation of Mexican food. Michelle drove down Veterans and in no time, we were parking in front of a packed restaurant called Carreta’s. I hop out of the car wearing a nice top, jeans, and my signature tall stilettos. The place is packed. The tiny waiting area overflowed outside as people wait patiently for a table on a Saturday night. Michelle had on a skirt, a nice top and wedges. The two of us were dressed nicely but as if it was effortless.

              We walk into the overcrowded restaurant and are immediately greeted by our dates. Jake’s signature big smile is plastered on his face. I was pleasantly surprised to see my date had ditched the cap and jersey for the evening. His floppy hair once so constricted by the baseball cap hung in curly tendrils. His theta shirt was replaced by a button down shirt over dark wash jeans. It was a pleasant change. They greet us with the standard New Orleans introduction and this time I was ready. Jake leans in first to kiss me on the cheek and I meet his perfectly. Our cheeks touch. Only a slight corner of my lips touch his cheek and I kiss the air in front of me. I pull away feeling accomplished and slightly worldly at getting down this new greeting. Daniel switches places with Jake and I lean in once again executing a perfect greeting. I am two for two now in the cheek kiss department.

              “You two look lovely,” states Daniel.

              Jake smiles and nods his head to agree.

              “This place is crowded.” Michelle comments.

              “It’s always crowded on a Saturday night,” replies Daniel. “It’s kind of a pain at times but they have some of the best Mexican food in the area. Plus their margaritas are large and reasonably priced.”

              In no time at all, a hostess is directing us to our seats. As soon as we sit down, the waiter comes over with a basket of chips and salsa. Daniel immediately orders a pitcher of margaritas with four glasses. His assertiveness was proof enough of his age as the waiter nodded his head hustling off to enter in our drink order. Michelle immediately leans towards Daniel and begins flirtatiously talking to Daniel. Her back is straight and her chest slightly pushed out putting her breasts on display in her low cut shirt. I smirk as I survey the scene. I guess I am left to my own devices with Jake. I become slightly nervous. It is ok when Jake and I are just becoming friends, but now I feel like I am under a microscope.

              I didn’t know if I liked Jake the way he liked me. I certainly knew that my body did not elicit the same response it did for Ty. I sigh. Just thinking of Ty sends small little butterflies flitting up from my stomach. Quickly, I push all thoughts of Ty out of my mind. This is neither the time nor place. Tonight, I am taking a step forward and experiencing new things with new people. This includes my double date with my roommate. I open my menu and begin to look at the selections.

              “So what do you recommend?” I ask Jake.

              He leans over and looks at my menu. The proximity of his closeness makes me smile. As he gazes down, I realize he is wearing cologne. The smell itself is intoxicating. I like it on him. After a few more moments, he finds what he is looking for and points to it.

              “The chimichangas are really good. I also like the chicken taco salad. It comes out in one of those awesome shell bowls.”

              “Good to know,” I smile. “Do you come here often?”

              “Yeah,” he replies with a shrug, “it’s on my list of preferred restaurants.”

              I flash him another smile urging him to continue with the conversation. Jake picks up on the queue nicely and continues.

              “There are a lot of choices here in New Orleans. Perhaps there are way too many choices, but it’s what you expect with a tourist town.”

              “I am really excited to try all of them.”

              It was true. One of the perks of going to college in New Orleans is all the choices in food. It would be almost worth it to get a part time job just for a food allowance. So far, there hasn’t been one thing I have tasted here that I did not like.

              “I have lived here my whole life and still have not eaten at all the restaurants,” jokes Jake. “Not to mention they keep opening up new ones. I don’t think I will ever hit all the restaurants in the city.”

              I smile. Jake seems to have grown up with manners. There is never a one-worded answer or any awkward silence. Talking with him is effortless as the conversation continues to ebb and flow. It is nice to talk to someone like that.