Tracing Holland (NSB Book 2) (27 page)

I sigh. “Well, I don’t think that’s going to work for me.”

His face falls. “Oh, ok, well, maybe…”

“Tell you what, how about you adjust the action how you like
it since you’re the one who will be playing it.”

He stares at me, completely confused. “I don’t understand.”

I jot down my e-mail address on the receipt and shove it
back at him. “The guitar is yours, man. Let me know how she performs on stage.”

∞∞∞

Holland
doesn’t even speak to me for the first five minutes after we leave the music
store. We walk in silence along the line of storefronts, and the silly grin on
her face makes me smile every time I catch a glimpse of it. I can’t stop
looking.

“You do realize that even after everything, all we’ve been
through, that might be one of sexiest things I’ve ever seen,” she says, finally
letting me into her head.

I return her grin and give her a mischievous look. “What?
The way I man-handled President Power Trip at the end?”

She laughs. “No, the way you just changed some random kid’s
life.”

Her smile fades when she sees my face. “You get that you not
only gave that kid an unbelievable gift, you also gave him hope. You validated
his dream. You gave him a story he will now share with every person he knows
and will be a part of his narrative for the rest of his life. Whether you want
it or not, think you deserve it or not, you have that power, Luke. You touch
lives.”

Speechless, I can barely even muster a smile as I start
walking again, staring at our reflections in the passing store windows. I know
I’ll be lying awake tonight, fighting my way through that bombshell, but for
now, for this second, I can’t even hope to start. I draw in a deep breath and turn
back to her.

“You hungry?” I ask, finally.

She only grins knowingly and nods her head. “Yeah. I am. I
saw a cute Thai place up ahead.”

∞∞∞

Casey
meets me for coffee at the hotel restaurant that night, while the girls check
out the in-house spa. I had received a few cryptic texts from Callie throughout
the day with updates, but not enough to get a true sense of what to expect when
I finally see my friend. He looks drained, defeated, and my heart constricts a
bit. I still wish I could have been there to support him, even though I know that
wasn’t really an option.

“Do you think I can get them to throw a couple shots in
here?” Casey mumbles, glaring into his cup.

I smile and cast a glance over at the neighboring bar area.
“Maybe we met in the wrong section?”

He smirks before leaning back with a groan. “Can I just say
this day sucked? Like, massively sucked.”

“So then how did we get stuck with a coffee date while the
ladies got the spa?”

His grin slips out as he shakes his head. “No clue. The plan
made perfect sense when Callie laid it out. And then, she walks away, and you’re
like, wait…”

I laugh. “Yeah, that’s usually how it goes.”

“How about you? What did you and Holland do?”

“I’m pretty sure we’re here to talk about your day.”

He grunts and swirls his coffee. “I already told you it
sucked.”

I almost laugh again. “Uh huh. Well, that’s a text message, my
friend, not a coffee break. I’m
gonna
need more than
that.“

“Geez, dude, when did you get so pushy?” he teases.

“When I started giving a shit about life and other people.”

“Funny how that works, huh?”

I roll my eyes. “Spare me the lecture and tell me about your
father’s funeral, Case.”

He shakes his head and settles back into his chair. “They
wanted each of us to say something,” he begins finally, glancing up at me. “I
swear my mom did that just to watch me squirm. They literally stared at me when
it was my turn.”

“Oh, shit. What did you do?”

He shrugs. “I got up and spoke.”

I let out my breath. “Wow…ok…”

His smile starts to poke through the gloom, which always
makes it impossible not to join in. “Yeah, it was not the speech they were
expecting, I’m sure.”

“What did you say?”

“I thanked everyone for coming and then thanked my dad for
donating sperm to make such great kids.”

My eyes widen. “You did not.”

He grins and shrugs. “Yeah, I
kinda
did. I phrased it better. At least I think I did. It was such a blur I don’t
even remember exactly what I said, but it was along those lines.”

I breathe a curse and shake my head. “Well, hey, they wanted
a speech.”

He laughs and rubs his eyes. “Yeah, they did. And they sure
got one.” He sighs. “It was rough, dude. The whole thing.”

I nod. “Did anyone give you a hard time?”

He looks away and seems to focus on the wall behind me. “Not
openly. Just a lot of the passive-aggressive shit my family has mastered.”

“Aw, I’m sorry. Yeah, your family always rocked the
underhanded cut-downs.”

He grunts. “Yeah, Great-Uncle Alan actually introduced
himself! That bastard. He said he was surprised I still remembered all their
names when I told him I knew who he was. Totally serious too, as if I wouldn’t
see through such an obvious blow.”

I smirk
,
I can’t help it
. “Um…”

“Yeah, exactly. What a dick.”

I laugh, fresh from my own encounter with Great-Uncle Alan.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, he told me I probably had an STI so...”

“What
?!
No!”

I nod, still chuckling. “Yep. Right after Great-Aunt Norma
said I was probably high on ‘the dope.’”

“The dope? Oh my god!” Casey roars
,
laughing so hard we draw stares from other tables.

I’m right there with him, trying to compose myself as the
humor of the entire situation begins to chip at the horror.

“Oh, yeah! And you should have seen the flowers the Label sent.
Completely ridiculous.
Like five times the size of any
other display.”

I laugh again, not surprised. “They wanted you to know they
care, man.”

We exchange a wry smile as he shakes his head. “Yeah,
whatever. Do you think the Executive Assistant who ordered them even knew who I
was?”

“Depends if the Executive who gave the command included the
band name in the email,” I joke, and Casey laughs again.

He shakes his head with a smile. “Hey, thanks, man. There
was nothing funny about it at the time, but some of it is
kinda
hilarious on the other side,” he admits, as if reading my thoughts a moment ago.

I grin. “You know me, always finding the fun in life.”

He snickers. “Yeah, you’re just a ball of sunshine. Speaking
of that, oh man, you should have seen what Uncle Nestor was wearing. Hang on.”
He pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through pictures.

I just about spit out my coffee when he
turns it toward me.

“What is that?” I cry, trying to make sense of the black
tuxedo/tracksuit monstrosity.

Casey shakes his head, cracking up so hard he can barely
speak. “I have no idea! He walked into the church like that, and even Callie
almost lost it. Callie! Unbelievable. I guess it’s for when you want to look like
you’re trying without giving up the comfort of your favorite couch apparel?”

“Wow, that’s, uh, something…”

He’s still chuckling. “Oh, and then I pretty much choked on
my mint when Nate asked him where he got it. You know Nate, totally sincere and
polite. Like, just making conversation.”

“No way! What did he say?”

“That’s the best part! His girlfriend made it for him!” Casey
starts laughing all over again, and I stare at him in disbelief.

“Wait, Uncle Nestor has a girlfriend!”

“Four years, dude! Four fucking years! They met at Sole Barn!”

“The shoe store?” I cry.

“I know!” Casey smacks the table. “I guess they share a love
of bland, sensible footwear, I don’t know.”

“Wow…”

He nods. “Exactly.” He grows serious. “Hey, so, you should also
know that at least ten people came up to me and asked me to tell you how sorry
they were for what happened at Nate’s house.”

Shocked, I’m not even sure how to respond at first.
“Seriously?” I manage finally.

He nods. “Yeah, man.
They were blown away
by you
. They feel bad for hiding and not standing up for you at the
time, but they couldn’t believe you just stood there and took it.
That you’d actually come back to take responsibility for your
actions.
They have a huge amount of respect for you now.”

I look away, still not sure what to make of that. “Wow. I…”

Casey shrugs. “Dude, you’re legit, and people are seeing
it.”

I draw in a deep breath and stare into my coffee cup.
“Thanks, Case. I needed to hear that.” I force my eyes up and meet his gaze. “I
went to visit Elena today. Holland went with me.”

He’s quiet for a moment and I can’t begin to read his
expression. “Good, I’m glad you did,” he says finally, studying me. “Holland’s
an amazing woman, Luke.”

I nod and instinctively glance toward the entrance as if
she’ll walk in at that moment. It hits me hard how much I want her to. “She is.
Incredible.” I focus on him again. “You know I didn’t ask for any of this. I
wasn’t looking for someone else.”

He meets my eyes. “I know. You have nothing to apologize
for. You will always love my sister. We all know that. It doesn’t mean you
can’t love someone else too.”

I swallow, doing my best to breathe. Leave it to Casey
Barrett to transform his moment of pain into evidence of what an amazing friend
he is. I almost smirk at the thought of freaking him out with an impromptu hug
but have mercy. I stare back at my mug instead.

“I think I could really love her, man. I think Holland might
be it for me,” I say after a pause, shocking myself as much as anyone with my
confession. I glance up again to test his reaction, but Casey doesn’t seem
surprised.

“I think so too. But Luke, you should know that Callie and I
are going to do everything in our power to keep you from screwing it up this
time. You should just know that up front.”

He grins, and I return it.

“Thanks. I’m holding you to that.”

“Good, because Callie is already planning our double
wedding.”

I laugh and shake my head. “Wow. Well, don’t worry. I think
she’ll change her mind when she finds out how long she’d have to wait. I don’t
think Holland’s in any kind of rush either.”

∞∞∞

We
return to Philadelphia different than when we left, but better somehow. The
four of us grew individually, as well as together, and it almost feels strange
when the car returns us to our tour and the other reality we’d left. I often
feel like I’m living multiple lives, but never more so than when I’m reminded
of the deep chasm separating my past from my present. I’ve only complicated the
gap further with this new present that I’m still trying to grasp. Still, I
can’t shake the feeling that the path has changed, that a fragile bridge is now
hanging precariously between my islands and I’m starting to catch glimpses of a
future where I can navigate them freely. It’s a lot easier to imagine that kind
of freedom when I watch Holland embrace it with effortless grace.

I linger beside her, holding one of her bags, as she fishes
through her purse for her hotel key.

“I’ll probably check in with the band tonight for dinner,”
she announces, almost apologizing, and I grin.

“Yeah, me too. No worries,” I respond, following her inside
so I can deposit her belongings.

She turns to me and slips her arms around my waist, pulling
me against her. “But you know I’d rather spend the night with you.”

“Yeah, me too. No worries,” I repeat, and she laughs.

I kiss her, surprised when my casual gesture turns much more
intense. The magnet of her body starts drawing me forward, locking me against
her as she backs into her room.

“We can’t. Not now,” she groans, but does nothing to help
her own cause as she claws at me, her sudden aggression ripping a frenzied
blaze through my body. I have no interest in playing fair either.

Her top is on the floor at nearly the same moment my jeans
succumb to gravity, and there is nothing refined about our contact. It’s one
primal need feeding the ravenous hunger of another.

“Luke, don’t stop this time. Don’t talk. Don’t do anything
but make me need you,” she breathes in the most convincing argument of all
time.

And I do.

∞∞∞

“I
apologize in advance for what I’m about to say, but holy shit,” Holland sighs,
dropping back to what’s left of the bed.