Train Station Bride (22 page)

“Julia! Heavens to mercy, leave her in,” Aunt Mildred said as the door opened wide. “And your sister, Jillian, too. Well, I declare.”

Julia let herself be enveloped in Aunt Mildred arms.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t give you any notice of my arrival,” Julia said.

“As if I cared. No. Not one little bit,” Aunt Mildred said.

“I’m not her sister,” Jillian said. “I’m her daughter.”

Aunt Mildred kissed the girls’ head and looked up at Julia. “Is that right, dear? You’re a very lucky young lady then.”

Richard carried their bags and Jillian followed the butler up the wide staircase. Julia and Mildred climbed the steps arm-in-arm.

“I can only imagine you’ve had an interesting visit in Boston, dear,” Aunt Mildred said with a chuckle. “Jane must be in quite a state. Jolene, as well.”

“It was horrible, Aunt,” Julia said. “Truly horrible.”

“Well, it’s all done now. Truth always wins out,” Mildred said and kissed Julia’s cheek. “Get some sleep, dear, and we’ll hash it out in the morning.”

Jillian climbed into bed and was soon asleep. Julia lay beside her and stroked her hair and face. She touched her stomach and thought about the day when Jillian would have a sister or a brother.

* * *

The sun streamed in Julia’s room and she woke with a stretch and a yawn. Jillian was on her stomach, eyes closed and breathing softly. Julia dressed, washed and found her Aunt in the breakfast room at a table tucked in a window nook.

“Here you are! You were never up until ten in the morning if I remember correctly. This must seem quite early to you,” Aunt Mildred said.

“I got used to getting up early when I was living in South Dakota,” Julia said as she poured herself a cup of tea.

“Jane did tell me you were living in the wilderness,” Aunt Mildred said with a smile. “Tell me about your husband. Your Mother dislikes him which makes me certain I would adore him.”

Julia told her aunt everything that had happened in the last six months. When she was finally recalling the events of the previous day, Mildred inched closer and held Julia’s hand.

“Your mother said that? She actually said she wasn’t sure who Jillian’s father was? My God. Jane’s gone too far this time. And Turner had no idea. I always wondered if they ever told him,” Mildred said.

“It was the most dreadful scene,” Julia said and closed her eyes. “Then Jake came.”

“And he handled those villains, didn’t he?” Mildred asked.

Julia nodded and her lip trembled. “He shook Turner by the neck, and then he picked me up and carried me out of the house.”

Mildred clasped her hands under her chin. “How marvelous! I’ve got to meet him. Where is he? Is he on his way?”

Julia shook her head and tears threatened. “When he read Mother’s letter and found out about Jillian, he said he was glad I wasn’t expecting. He said he didn’t want any child of his to suffer like Jillian. He was so angry.”

“That was a stupid thing to say. Why I’m sure you’re going to be a wonderful mother now that you’re free to do so. Did he apologize?” Mildred asked.

“No. And now I am expecting. I can’t look him in the eye,” Julia said. “I love him so very much.”

“Does he know he’s going to be a father?” Mildred asked.

Julia nodded. “I told him just as I got on the train.”

“Well, well, well,” Mildred said. “What a fix you two have gotten yourselves into now.”

“Should I have gone with him?” Julia asked.

Mildred poured herself more tea. “No, I don’t think so, dear. I think more than anything you need some time alone to lick your wounds and sort out the last few months.”

“I’ve been such a child, Aunt Mildred,” Julia said. “Why I ever waited this long to claim Jillian is suddenly inconceivable. Maybe Jake’s right.”

“I can only imagine what daily living with my nephew’s wife is really like. Jane can be quite forceful. And don’t scold yourself now. It’s over. You’re a grown woman, Julia Shelling,” Mildred said. “What’s done is done.”

* * *

Jake was sitting at his kitchen table drinking coffee when the back door opened and Flossie came in his kitchen. He had spent the last evening and nearly the whole morning thinking about what he was going to do about Julia. He could have kicked himself for being so high-handed in Boston. He should have apologized but he was so damn mad at her family for hurting her the way they did, he couldn’t see straight. If she wanted to go to Delaware then he should have taken her there instead of arguing with her. But all he could think about was home. It had taken a two day train ride to realize home was where Julia was, wherever that was. On their ranch, in Delaware, it didn’t really matter.

“Jake,” she said. “Where’s Julia?”

“Glad to be home, sis,” he replied and stood to pour more coffee in his mug. “Thanks for asking.”

Flossie unwrapped the scarf from around her neck and stamped her boots. “Don’t tell me you didn’t bring her home.”

“She didn’t want to come home, Flossie,” Jake said.

“Where’d she go?” Flossie asked.

“Delaware,” Jake said.

Flossie poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down and waited. “What happened, Jake?”

“You should have heard the things they were saying to her,” Jake said. “That her sister was the ‘better suited’ partner for that low sack of shit that’s her brother-in-law. That they didn’t know who Jillian belonged to anyway.”

Flossie’s eyes rounded. “Oh my God, Jake. What did Julia say?”

Jake wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “She was shaking all over. Thought she’d fall down when she got out of her chair. But her chin was up. She didn’t back down an inch. Not an inch.”

The kitchen was quiet other than the sound of Jake’s breathing and the clock ticking on the mantel in the living room. The picture of Julia facing her family floated through his consciousness. But the vision that held him was of his wife at the train station when she kissed his cheek.

“Julia’s expecting,” he said. He looked at Flossie. “I’m going to be a daddy twice over.”

“Ah, Jake,” Flossie said. “I’m so glad for you.”

“The thing is Julia’s still got it in her head what I said about her not being a good mother. She’s going to be a great mother,” Jake said.

Flossie smiled. “Don’t tell me, Jake Shelling. Tell your wife.”

Jake nodded. “I think you and Gloria were right. I don’t think I could have hurt her worse than saying what I said. She already thought she was doing a lousy job of it, and I go on and say what I did. Then I go and let my pride and being mad get in the way of saying I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say to her, Flossie.”

“Start with ‘I’m sorry’,” Flossie said and stood and pulled her coat on.

“I don’t know that’ll be enough,” Jake said.

“Give her a little while, Jake,” Flossie said as she leaned down and kissed her brother’s cheek. “Give her a little time.”

Jake started a letter to Julia ten times over. Everyone he balled up and threw in the fire. What he needed to say, he needed to say face-to-face with his wife.

* * *

“No. I won’t apologize,” Jillian shouted at Julia. “I don’t want to live here.”

Julia rose from her seat at Mildred’s dining room table. “Follow me, Jillian,” she said as she rounded the table and headed to the staircase. She waited at the door of her room for five minutes for Jillian to appear. She motioned her daughter inside and closed the door.

“I will not have you speaking to Aunt Mildred that way, Jillian,” Julia said. “Would you like to stay here in your room while I finish my supper? Because you’re not coming back to the table until you apologize.”

“I hate you,” Jillian said. She ran past Julia and threw herself across the bed.

Julia sat down on the bed beside Jillian. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I may be disappointed in what you do or say, but I’ll never, ever hate you.”

Jillian turned her head to see Julia’s face. “Ever?”

“Never,” Julia said and shook her head. “I know this has been difficult for you. But it will get better. I promise.”

“What if Mother comes for me? She always treated me different, and Jolene hated me,” she said.

Julia sat back on the bed and pulled Jillian into her arms. “It doesn’t matter what Mother does. You’re staying with me. And I don’t imagine your Aunt Jolene will be visiting, so it won’t matter what she thinks of you.”

“I liked Jake,” Jillian said. “Doesn’t he like me either?”

Julia kissed her daughter’s head. “He loves you,” she said.

“How would he love me? He doesn’t even know me,” Jillian said.

“He loves you because he loves me,” Julia said and fought the tears welling in her eyes.

“Then if you love him, why are we living at Aunt Mildred’s?” she asked.

* * *

It had been a little over a week since their arrival in Delaware, and Julia had spent the days in the garden, reading with Jillian or just talking about everyday things. Jillian was quiet but seemed less wary and angry. She had even played checkers with Mildred one evening.

“I win!” Jillian said.

“Yes, you did,” Aunt Mildred said. “Again.”

“It’s bedtime now, Jillian,” Julia said. She pushed her needle through the fabric of her needlepoint. “Winifred will help you change.” Jillian kissed Julia’s cheek.

“Good night. Good night, Aunt Mildred,” Jillian said.

“Well,” Mildred said as the door to the drawing room closed. “That was done with less hysterics than other evenings.”

“She has been a trial,” Julia said. “But she seems to be settling in finally.”

“And you, Julia? Are you settling in?” Aunt Mildred asked.

“We’ve imposed long enough, haven’t we?” Julia said.

“That is not what I meant, Julia,” Aunt Mildred said with a smile. “You know you may stay as long as you like. I’ve enjoyed having you immensely and will miss you and Jillian both when you go.”

“I suppose I should begin house hunting,” Julia said. She dropped her needle work in her lap and sighed. “But I manage to find a reason to put it off day after day.”

Mildred folded the checker board and sat back in her chair. “I wonder if it’s because you already have a house. A home as well. Just not here in Delaware.”

Julia envisioned her sister-in-laws at her kitchen table and her sitting room with it’s new wallpaper and acres and acres of corn. “I miss it dreadfully. I miss Flossie and Gloria and the children. I miss everything and everyone.”

“And your husband? I’m sure you miss him as well,” Mildred said.

Julia closed her eyes. Jake’s face was before her as if she could reach out and touch him. Swinging her around in a great bear hug when he came home for his supper. Listening to her plans with the house. As she left him at the train station, holding his hat and staring at her.

“I didn’t know anything could hurt as much as this,” Julia said. “I miss him desperately. I told Jillian he still loves me. It came out without thought. As if I know it but won’t admit it. Or maybe just wish it.”

Mildred rose and sat down beside Julia on the settee. She picked up Julia’s hand and squeezed. “Then go, Julia. Don’t leave one of life’s rare chances go by the wayside for fear of failure or hurt pride or anger or anything else. Tell him you love him. Tell him you miss him. It doesn’t matter any longer why you were angry. It doesn’t matter what your mother says or does any longer. None of it matters. Be honest with yourself and with him. Regardless of what you think he might do or say. Do it and say it for you.”

* * *

Julia lay in bed long after she heard the last creek of a floor board. The night moon was shining and Julia wondered if Jake was staring at that same moon. Did she care any longer that Jake had read her letter? Could he ever forgive her for her deceit? Would he have said he was sorry for hurting her if she’d given him the opportunity? Did it matter who was sorry first or most? She would never know the answer to any of it as long as she was in Delaware. She had things to say to her husband.

* * *

Julia packed the last of things in her trunk and stood up to stretch her back. She pinned her hat in her hair and rang for Richard to carry her things. She and Jillian were catching the train to South Dakota that morning. She was nearly at the last step when Mildred’s doorbell rang.

“Just set my things anywhere, Richard,” Julia said. “That’s probably Aunt Mildred’s company. Although it is quite early.”

Jillian and Mildred walked in to the foyer hand in hand and Jillian was clutching the velvet box that the girl had so much coveted during her stay. Richard was opening the door and Julia smiled at Mildred. “What do you say, dear?” Julia said to her daughter.

“I’m sorry,” came a familiar voice from the threshold. “I’m sorry Julia.”

“Jake!” Julia said as she turned. Jake was standing just inside the doorway, twirling his hat in his hand.

“I should have never read that letter from your mother, let alone judge you for what you did. I should have come with you to Delaware if that’s what you wanted. I was just so damn angry at the things your mother said, I couldn’t think straight or see it from your point of view. I’m sorry, Julia. For all of it.”

Jake looked down at the luggage on the floor and back to Julia.

“Did you find a house?” Jake asked. “Are you going there today?”

Julia’s lip trembled. “Oh yes, Jake. I found a house. I am going there this morning.” She walked slowly to her husband. “It has a red front door and acres of corn, and I miss it something awful.”

Epilogue

Julia didn’t think anything could have looked quite as good as her little house in South Dakota. Jake had just carried her trunk to their bedroom. Julia pulled her hat from her head and watched Jillian as she looked around.

“It’s nothing like the house in Boston,” Julia said. “But it’s ours.”

“Do I have a room?” Jillian asked.

“You sure do,” Jake said as he came into the kitchen. “Your Aunt Gloria’s old bedroom. You’ll have to get to town and pick out some new paint. I imagine your mother will be wanting to fuss over it, and we’ve got some Christmas presents to buy.”

“For who?” Jillian plopped down in a chair. “Can I pick the color?”

“Yeah, you can. You and I will be doing the painting too.”