Transitions (A Thousand Words Book 1) (18 page)

“Lindsay?” Dev asked with an uneasy edge to his voice.

“Hmmm?” she answered, as she resumed kissing him.

He tested the restraint. She knew he could lift his hands free of the chair if he stood up, but they’d still be secure behind his back. Plus he’d probably trip over her in the process. Lindsay didn’t want to give him time to realize that. She could practically hear the gears turning in his head and had to distract him. Running her hands up his thighs slowly, Lindsay pressed her lips against his and kissed him deeply. Or tried to. Dev was beyond multi-tasking, he wasn’t even returning her kisses while considering the position she had him in. She might as well move forward then.

Lindsay kissed him again gently on just the corner of his mouth, running her fingers through his hair. That usually distracted him. She felt Dev calm somewhat and kissed him softly on the lips again. This time he cooperated with the kiss.

“Uncuff me,” he whispered as soon as she broke away.

“In a minute,” she answered, kissing him again. Her hands cradled his face for a moment before letting her fingers trail slowly down his chest. Lindsay wished she could take the time to take off his shirt, but surprise was the only thing she had on her side. She couldn’t take the chance. Maybe next time. Dev turned his head away, breaking the kiss, when he felt her unbuckle his belt.

“Lindsay, no,” Dev said firmly. She ignored him and unbuttoned the waistband of his slacks.

“I’ll keep my clothes on. Don’t panic.” She kissed him again.

“And I’d prefer to keep mine as well.” Dev pulled away from the kiss and coughed. “Lin, no. You know how I feel about this.”

“You’ve been very clear on your position on sex. But it seems to me, since a former president decided a blow job isn’t actually sex, that you could go with it for a change,” Lindsay responded as she unzipped his fly.

“No. Baby, don’t,” Dev pleaded, his voice was little more than a whisper and he wheezed now as he spoke.

“I love you and you love me. I need to express that and this is how I do it.” Lindsay was gratified to see that Dev’s snug white underwear showed a promising bulge and she rubbed it gently.

“Lin . . . stop, please,” Dev pleaded, then broke down in a fit of shallow coughs.

Lindsay laid a hand gently on his cheek and let the other reach into his pants, cupping his balls still held hostage in his briefs. She leaned forward and breathed hot air through the thin cotton fabric, smiling as he moaned slightly in response. She did it again and started to peel away the restraining fabric.

“Lins –”

Lindsay looked up as Dev slurred her name just in time to see him go limp. She screamed, but Dev didn’t react.

“Dev? Devin!” she yelled, looking at his closed eyes and bluish lips. She grabbed her phone and called 911 then grabbed her purse and looked for an inhaler. She sometimes carried one for him in cold weather. There wasn’t one in there this time though.

“911 operator, please state the nature of the emergency.” Lindsay raced to the couch and picked up Dev’s suit jacket from the back and started checking pockets.

“My boyfriend passed out. He has asthma.”

“Is he breathing?”

Lindsay stopped her search for an inhaler and returned her attention to Dev. She checked and sighed in relief. His breath was shallow – barely perceptible – but he was breathing. And the wheezing stopped. She thought that was good, but the 911 operator refused to confirm it.

The next few minutes were a teary blur for Lindsay. She tried to tell the operator where they were, but forgot the hotel and room number. The information was on the back of the door. The operator walked her through answering questions as Lindsay realized Dev would be horrified to be found partially undressed and handcuffed to a chair.

She released the restraints and tried to gently ease him to the floor. His inert form was heavier than she expected. Dev hit the floor hard, causing him to exhale in a sharp cough. On his back, his breathing eased slightly, but he was still unconscious and she heard the wheezing again that meant his lungs were struggling. She refastened his pants and belt, but couldn’t tuck his shirt in. It would have to do.

Dev was dressed, but Lindsay was in hysterics by the time the medics came and put an oxygen mask on him. They refused to promise he’d be okay as she followed them to the ambulance and rode in shock to the hospital.

○ ○ ○

Dev woke, initially disoriented by his surroundings. Lindsay had a death grip on his arm and he realized he had an IV in the other arm when he reached over to pry her fingers loose. She was asleep, sniffling slightly with puffy eyes.

“She cried herself out.”

Dev looked and saw Kenny sitting in a shadow opposite Lindsay.

“What happened?”

“Funny, thing. Lin won’t say.”

Dev nodded, then realized he had a throbbing headache.

“Are you going to tell me how you managed to end up out cold in the hospital? You didn’t seem too bad after we left the interview and you got a little fresh air. I can only assume Lin has a role to play in this.”

“Still trying to put the pieces together,” Dev whispered, stalling for time. “Anything to eat?”

Kenny leaned forward and pressed the call button for the nurse. She responded immediately and promised a sandwich.

Meanwhile, Dev was going over his last memories carefully. He’d miscalculated Lindsay’s determination. A book his mom read once when she and Flynn were having trouble came to mind. He didn’t read it, but he remembered looking at the blurb on the back. Something about different ways of expressing love, and some people don’t feel loved simply by hearing it declared. The cliché ‘actions speak louder than words’ jumped out at him and made him roll his eyes at the time. Now he understood it.

Lindsay’s self-esteem was intertwined with sex so tightly her whole life that he failed to see he hadn’t solved that insecurity. She just hid it away because he argued and she loved him. Maybe more than he deserved, Dev berated himself.

Kenny’s chair screeched as he scraped it across the floor closer to the bed. Dev felt his friend watching him and judging the woman he loved. They were never friends, but Dev’s actions – no, his inaction – put Lindsay in an untenable position.

“It wasn’t her fault.” Dev opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. “I miscalculated. It won’t happen again, Kenny. I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“Uh-huh.” Kenny’s doubt was obvious. Dev hoped he wouldn’t push it.

“Did they say when I could get out of here?”

“They’ll want to check you now that you’re awake, obviously.”

“What time is it?” Dev closed his eyes again. It felt late.

“Three a.m.”

“Great. I’ve been out a while then. That’s unexpected.”

“I was told you came around briefly in the ambulance. Then again as they poked and prodded and moved you around. Years ago, I remember you telling me the attacks kind of knocked you out. And I remember seeing how tired the mild ones used to make you, back when it was just from cold air. The doctor thought you just needed rest.” Kenny paused for a moment and Dev waited, knowing his friend had something else on his mind. “Dev, I’ve seen you have asthma attacks over the years, lots of times. I’ve never seen you lose consciousness before.”

“Not used to actually passing out. I did a few times as a kid, I guess. It’s just been a long time. I slept a lot then too.”

“What changed? You did as a kid, then grew out of it? Now it’s back?” Kenny sounded concerned.

Dev wasn’t sure what to tell him. Not the truth. Kenny knew Dev’s asthma had triggers, but Dev didn’t think Kenny knew stress could compound them. Did he? He read up on psychology all the time, did he ever read up on asthma? It wouldn’t have surprised Dev either way.

“Trying to decide what to tell me?” Kenny asked.

The nurse arrived with a tray and doctor in tow, sparing Dev the need to answer. Dev was starving, he downed the sandwich before the doctor finished checking him over. He probably could have pushed to be released, but the doctor wanted to wait until morning, and Dev didn’t want to wake Lindsay. It looked like she’d been through a lot. Besides, he could sleep here as well as at the hotel so there was no reason to fuss. Dev rolled over and went back to sleep as Kenny sat there watching.

Lindsay was still at his side when Dev woke again a few hours later. Her eyes brimmed with tears and she opened her mouth when he looked over at her, but no words came.

Dev smiled gently and lifted a hand to caress her face. “I’m fine, Lin, don’t worry. I’m just a little tired.” He tried to sound reassuring, but the anxiety refused to leave Lindsay’s face.

“I woke up earlier this morning, but I didn’t want to disturb you. You looked like you needed the rest,” Dev tried again. “Kenny was here. I hope he didn’t give you a hard time.”

Lindsay bit her bottom lip and she flinched at the mention of Kenny’s name.

“It wasn’t your fault, baby, and I told him that,” Dev tried to reassure her. “I miscalculated.” Lindsay burst out in tears, he leaned over and stroked her hair as she buried her face in the thin coverlet over him. Dev nearly swore as he saw Kenny come back. He held up a hand to stop him from commenting on Lindsay’s state of dismay.

“Whatever.” Kenny sighed, closing the door behind him. “If you’re up to it, we have a small window of opportunity to sneak out without the paparazzi surrounding you. Bit undignified, sneaking out the back, but the administration said they’d allow it.”

“If it’ll keep this out of the papers, I’ll climb out a basement window or whatever they’ll allow.” Dev sat up and realized he still had an IV in his arm. He reached over and pressed the call button for a nurse. “Grab my clothes, will you?” Dev asked Kenny.

“I brought a freshly pressed set back from the hotel.” Kenny stepped into the bathroom and pulled a garment bag off the hook on the wall. “The clothes they took off you were pretty wrinkled.”

“Thanks. It’ll help if someone manages to get a picture.” Dev nodded.

Kenny pulled a small bag out of the bottom of the garment bag and tossed it on the bathroom counter. Dev realized he hadn’t brushed his hair or teeth or even washed his face. He ran his fingers through his hair self-consciously.

“You’re fine,” Kenny assured him. “Anyway, nothing in the papers on this little incident, at least not that I could see. It did make the Internet.”

“Do I even want to know?”

“When the medics carry you out of your hotel room with a pretty young blond in tow, it was bound to raise eyebrows. At least it should end the rumors that you’re gay.”

“A simple ‘no’ would have sufficed.”

“Speculations are varied, creative, and almost entirely sexually explicit.”

“How explicit are we talking about?” Dev looked at Kenny in alarm. The nurse walked in and he held up his arm. “I’m checking out, can I get this removed please?”

Kenny watched the nurse pick her way around Lindsay and lean over to pull the IV out of Dev’s arm, a small smile played across his face. Dev noticed and raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Explicit enough that your popularity has soared. Just leave the safe search feature on if you look up your own name.”

“You know I don’t do that,” Dev scoffed.

“Now isn’t the time to start. You’ll end up here again.” Kenny grinned.

“Great.”

“The doctor will be in shortly to go over a few things and sign the release. You can go ahead and change, if you’d like,” the nurse told him.

He nodded his thanks and shooed Kenny back as he bent forward and kissed Lindsay’s forehead. Slipping out of bed, Dev grabbed the garment bag from Kenny and went into the bathroom to change. After washing up, and in a clean suit, Dev felt normal again. Almost normal. He was tired, which was amazing considering how much sleep he’d already had. Too much maybe.

The doctor stressed taking it easy for a while and Dev signed the forms to send the medical details to his regular doctor. He got a rescue inhaler for Lindsay to carry in her purse, in case he couldn’t find his.

They walked out a cafeteria service exit with minimal fuss to a waiting cab. At the hotel, Kenny let Dev take Lindsay upstairs to his room without a significant glance or comment.

Lindsay broke down as soon as the door closed behind them. “I’m not good for you. I almost . . . Dev, you could have
died
.”

“But I didn’t and I don’t blame you. Lin, you gave me a surprise, I overreacted. What’s important is that you kept your head and did what you needed to. Thank you.” He put his arms around her, willing her to drop it.

“But it was my fault.”

“No.”

“It was. You’ve been clear, I know how you feel. I . . . I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“I do. I thought about it last night. You were asleep and –”

“You don’t want me anymore.”

“No, baby, I do. I love you. I thought you knew that.” Dev sighed, holding her close, wanting to take a step back to see her, but afraid to let her go too.

“Lindsay, don’t say anything for a moment, just listen.” He rested his cheek against the top of her head as he spoke, keeping her securely in his arms. Dev took it slow, choosing his words with care and his voice soft.

“What happened yesterday is in the past. I shouldn’t have driven you to that. It demonstrates an appalling lack of understanding on my part. I know that now, so we can move past it. This little fiasco is over. We don’t need to dwell on it, or necessarily even talk about it again. It’s just a pebble in our path that caused a bit of a stumble and it’s behind us now. Clear?”

“But –”

“Right. Moving beyond that, the important thing for you to know is that I love you. I’ve told you that for a long time, but I haven’t done enough to show you. I thought I had. I buy you things, make romantic gestures, and tell how much you mean to me, but I wasn’t showing you in the way that’s important and meaningful to you.”

“Dev –”

“If I’d stopped to think about it, really think about it instead of cling to an admittedly old-fashioned idea, I would have realized it. Or at least heard what you’ve been trying to tell me for a few years now.”

“Dev –”

Dev loosened his hold and looked at her as she lifted her eyes to him. She shook her head, eyes wide, as if unable to comprehend what she was hearing.

“You win, Lindsay. Let’s face it, you’re always going to win. I’ve known that for a long time. I don’t know why I bothered to fight you on this. I don’t want to fight you anymore. I don’t want to lose you. You want to share my bed? Have patience and tell me what you want me to do to.”

Dev leaned down and covered Lindsay’s mouth with his own, pulling her close. She was hesitant initially before returning his kiss with increasing passion, then urgency, as the meaning of his words sunk in. Dev shrugged off his suit jacket and tossed it aside on a chair, then untied his tie. Lindsay started unbuttoning his shirt, pulling it from his waistband and pushing it off his shoulders. Finally they separated for a moment as Dev pulled his undershirt off.

Lindsay’s hands ran across his bare chest, leaving paths that lingered in the wake of her touch. Dev ran a hand down her back, surprised to find her shirt was gone as well, as were her jeans. Stopping his kisses long enough to confirm what he was feeling, Lindsay wore only delicate pink panties and a bra. Dev pushed down his slacks in that momentary pause.

He stepped out of his shoes and slacks, scooping Lindsay into his arms. Kicking off his socks clumsily as he went, he carried her to the bedroom. Suddenly his tendency to get two room suites seemed bothersome as he fumbled to get the door open. He didn’t worry about closing it behind him in his effort to get Lindsay to the bed. She threw back the covers as soon as Dev lowered her to her feet.

“You’re breathing heavy,” Lindsay whispered.

“Yeah. I think that’s pretty normal right now,” Dev answered, sliding one hand up along her bare side to cup a breast. Lindsay reached back to unfasten the bra, letting it drop to the floor. Her nipples blushed against her creamy skin, capturing Dev’s attention. He ran his thumb around the hard nipple, then leaned down and pulled it into his mouth, giving in to his impulse to taste the delicate bud. Lindsay leaned back with a sigh and he eased her back onto the bed.

With both hands free now, he sucked first on one nipple, then the other, experimenting with sucking hard or teasing her with his tongue. At the same time, Dev let his hands wander down her smooth stomach and thighs. Her panties were wet in the crotch, which he hadn’t really expected, and warm. Lindsay pushed her panties down with her fingertips, then wriggled to get them free. Dev helpfully pulled them off her, then continued let his hands run along the outside of her waist, hip, and thigh before moving back up the inside.

Moving his body back up hers, Dev kissed the hollow of Lindsay’s neck. Following the delicate line of her collarbones, he worked diligently at the areas he knew were stimulating for her. Sensitive areas he’d tried to avoid for over a year, but Dev focused on them now and he didn’t care about leaving marks. He sucked on one small spot after another and Lindsay moaned appreciatively, holding him close with her appreciation of the attention.

Still curious, Dev let one hand return to the moist warmth between her legs where no panties now stopped his exploring. Lindsay was clean shaven and smooth, which he knew in principle, but found delightful now to experience. Her skin was so soft he loved the feel of her against the palm of his hand.

A finger slid almost accidentally into the groove between her labia and Lindsay shuddered as Dev found her clitoris. He repeated the maneuver, then made a note of the location before letting the finger slide experimentally down and inside her. It was warm and wet, and Lindsay moaned again, writhing and grinding against him.

Dev kissed her mouth, knowing he was getting her hot and feeling much the same reaction himself. He pulled the finger out and pushed it in deeper this time, trying to judge her reaction.

Whatever it was doing to her didn’t compare to what it was doing to him. Dev was almost paralyzed with the stimulus his mind was trying to process, but Lindsay was in motion. She kissed him, then rolled Dev onto his back, pinning his arms to the side and straddling him in one motion. Her breasts pressed against Dev’s chest, a sensation that distracted him from realizing his hands were free while Lindsay pulled down his briefs.

“First things first, honey,” she whispered then kissed him passionately. Her warm slit was positioned over his stiff cock, teasing him, but only briefly. Lindsay slid down his body and took him into her mouth before he realized what she planned to do.

“Lin, baby, you win. You don’t have to . . . Oh, God!” Dev’s eyes flew wide as her warm mouth drew him in and sucked on the sensitive head of his penis. Lindsay gave him another couple of strokes before releasing him.

“I know. I want to taste you. Now, while you’re innocent and pure.”

“Not that pure. Mom would still say this is a sin.”

“Don’t fuss, it’s all relative.”

“I’m going to marry you, you know.”

“I know. Now relax.” Her hair tickled his thighs briefly before Lindsay let Dev’s cock slip through the perfect ‘o’ her lips made. Her tongue cradled the underside of his penis and the sensuous warmth of her mouth flooded his whole body. Her tongue probed the hole at the tip of his penis gently and suggestively. He thought the sensation might kill him and he froze under the bombardment, almost afraid to breathe. Then Lindsay’s mouth slid down the length of his shaft, letting the head rest against the roof of her mouth. It fit so beautifully, like it was meant to be there. How was that possible?

She cupped his sensitive balls in her hand and cradled them, squeezing them, and making them come alive in her fingers. Dev wanted to cry out with the joy of it. It seemed barely any time had passed, yet an eternity had as well when Dev came, moaning with the release. He couldn’t have fought it if he’d tried.

Dev barely noticed Lindsay chewing up a mint from the nightstand as she snuggled next to him. A pleasant haze filled his mind. He was warm, satisfied, and he would have bet on glowing if he had the words to speak. Gradually, his mind cleared, and he realized Lindsay’s hands caressed his body, her soft lips nipping at his ear. He lifted a hand and cupped it around her small waist.

Touching Lindsay’s soft skin stirred something in Dev. Suddenly he was awake, alert, and aroused. Rolling Lindsay onto her back, Dev sought her lips and kissed her. He let his body cover hers, delighting in her gentle curves. Letting a hand slide down her thigh, he pulled the leg up and away, positioning himself. Lindsay pulled both legs up, opening herself to him and cradling his hips between her knees. The movement brought her hot wetness against Dev’s sensitive head and shaft. Without hesitation, he plunged into her for the first time. His eyes opened wide at the new sensation and he gasped despite himself.

Dev liked the blow job. Lindsay’s perfect pink lips left masturbation in the dust like a race car stalled at the starting line. Still, Dev was unprepared for the intense feeling he experienced now. Lindsay wrapped her legs around him, making it difficult for Dev to withdraw far before driving it home again and again. He was being clumsy, he knew it. He should be paying more attention to Lindsay’s needs. Dev tried to slow himself, to find some clue of what she wanted.

Her nails raked the back of his ribs as she urged him onward. The sensation bordered on painful, yet it excited him and he didn’t know why. Dev didn’t stop to analyze the dichotomy and took the hint. Besides, he didn’t need more motivation than that. He pushed into her again and felt the familiar release, only a hundred times stronger. He tried to stifle a cry as he came, driving deeper into the slight woman beneath him.