Transitions (A Thousand Words Book 1) (4 page)

It was over an hour before Dev got to slip out to the apartment over the garage and say hi to his best friends. Three water balloons hit him as soon as he walked in the door.

“Awesome,” Dev said as he wiped water from his face and looked at his three grinning pseudo-brothers.

“Yeah, we thought about paintballs, but you’re so fussy about your wardrobe we figured you’d go ballistic,” Jess said. He casually tossed another water balloon in the air and caught it again.

“You’re right,” Dev said. “Now do I get one of those to even things out?”

Jess shrugged, “Sure.” He threw the water balloon at Dev, hitting the front of his pants. Dev flinched, catching himself before he swore.

“Sorry, tossed that a little harder than intended.”

“No problem,” Dev nodded amiably, “it happens.” He grinned at Kenny who gave him a knowing nod. Next time they were on stage he was going to have to figure out a way to water balloon Jess. That would be a memorable prank. Maybe on a photo shoot. The thought made him think of his mom telling him of the photo shoot she met Flynn on. The memory brought up mixed emotions in Dev, missing his mom, hating Flynn for still being here, for her giving her life just to give him a son.

Bryan threw a towel at him, hitting him in the face and breaking him from the downward spiral he’d started.

“Have a seat,” Bryan said.

Dev sat at the small table and Kenny didn’t waste any time launching into the tour plans. Alec, their manager, was coming in the following day, and they had to get their act together. The songs and order were set, they were opening for Rushing On, a band Dev actually didn’t listen to. He picked up their CDs months ago when the tour was arranged, but somehow never found the time to seriously listen to them. Now would be good.

Maybe he’d take the CDs, grab Lindsay, and make a night of it. It was warm, they could sit in the park, turn up the music, and watch the sun go down. Assuming the music was conducive to that sort of thing. Not that it really mattered with Lindsay, she’d go with it.

“Are you paying attention?” Kenny demanded, hovering over Dev’s shoulder. Dev jumped and looked back at him. Clearly he wasn’t because he didn’t have a clue what tipped Kenny off his mind had wandered.

“Not really, no.” Dev shook his head and prepared for Kenny’s outrage. Behind him somewhere, Bryan snickered. Kenny walked around to face him and gaped, apparently at a loss as to how to respond.

“Kenny, no offense, but I just got back,” Dev said. “I know the tour is important. I know there’s a lot of stuff we need to do, but I really just wanted to see you guys and say hi. You know, interact in person? And I want to call Lin and spend some time with her too. Maybe I’ll listen to the CDs with her tonight and multi-task. When I get home at the latest. Can business wait until tomorrow at least?”

“You were thinking about Lindsay?” Kenny asked. Dev tried to gauge his reaction to this news and couldn’t decide how Kenny was taking it.

“Great, that’s just great,” Jess said, standing up from where he lounged on his bed.

“Hey, I haven’t seen her in months. She
is
my girlfriend, remember? I think I’m allowed to miss her a little.”

“Yeah. Date night. Go, have fun. Or whatever you two do.” Jess grabbed his keys and wallet from his nightstand. “Don’t wait up, Kenny. I’ll be late.”

Amazed, Dev watched as Jess left without a backward glance. He twisted in his chair to look at Bryan, sitting on Kenny’s bed at the back of the room.

“Okay, did I miss something? It’s not a secret Lin and I are still together, right?”

“Nope. I think Jess just wanted more guy time.” Bryan shrugged.

“Then why are we sitting here talking about the tour? That’s work. Between work and girlfriend, right now Lin wins.” He glanced back to Kenny. “Sorry, Kenny. Jess was the one who tipped me off girls require maintenance, I’m just following his sage advice.”

“Dev,” Bryan said with a slight chuckle, “I get it. Go make dinner plans with Lin. It’s your first night back, do something big. Bring her flowers, take her to a nice restaurant, woo her.”

“Flowers? You really think so?” Dev asked, not sure if he really needed to go that far. He’d sent Lindsay flowers several times, but he’d only been present for the event the first time. And she kissed him, sort of. “Okay, I’ll bring her flowers.” Pink roses again, Dev decided. He wasn’t sure why he frequently thought of the brief brush of Lindsay’s lips across his over the past few months. The more he thought about it, the more appealing the memory was. Yet seeing Lindsay’s death-mask makeup on their weekend webcam dates still completely failed to arouse any sort of desire in him at all. The dichotomy was something he discussed hesitantly with the psychologist Flynn blackmailed him into seeing. Thankfully, Dr.
Braithewait
didn’t push him to explore his feelings, but did encourage him to ‘become invested’ in the relationship. He didn’t have the nerve to tell her he had absolutely no idea how to do that. Maybe he’d get up the nerve to ask Lindsay to ditch the goth routine, that would probably help.

“Have you seen Lin since I left?” he asked Bryan.

“A couple of times right after, not lately. She hangs with Sophie and sometimes Bren goes out with them. Chick flicks and shopping. Why?”

“Just wondering.” Dev stood up and pulled his phone out of his pocket, relieved it was dry. “Well, enjoyed the water balloons, but I think I’ll call Lin and see if she’s available.”

Kenny sighed. “Have fun.”

“I’ll listen to those CDs, promise. We can talk about the tour tomorrow.”

“Right. Holding you to that. Go get your fix so we can get back to work.” Kenny waved him off. Dev didn’t hesitate longer. He called Lindsay as he walked out.

Dev double checked everything as he got out of his car. He remembered which shirt Lindsay said was her favorite and based his outfit on that tonight. Dev considered experimenting and buying Lindsay her favorite chocolate in addition to flowers, but decided it was overkill. Maybe next time.

Pulling the flowers out of the car, Dev walked up the familiar sidewalk and rang the doorbell. Jack answered, just like he did months ago, like nothing had changed.

“Good to see you again,” Jack said, stepping back and ushering Dev in.

“Thanks, it’s good to be back.” Dev walked in and hesitated in the foyer looking around. Lindsay wasn’t anywhere to be found.

“She’ll be a few,” Jack said. “I don’t think she was this anxious on your first date.” He glanced up the open staircase and shook his head with a light chuckle.

“Should I be concerned?” Dev asked, amused by Jack’s reaction.

Jack looked back at Dev and gave him a curt nod. Just great. Dev didn’t know what had Lindsay all anxious and late, but he at least appreciated Jack’s warning. Not that he could do much with it at this point. Maybe he should have brought chocolate too.

Movement at the top of the stairs caught Dev’s attention, and he glanced up briefly to see Becky standing there in a pink dress, then looked again. Becky was taller and curvier than . . . Dev heard Jack retreat to his den as he fought to make sense of what he saw.

It was Lindsay, but just barely. Nothing was the same. The heavy makeup was gone, instead she looked radiant. Her long black hair was cut short and angelically golden. Normally Dev couldn’t discern her figure clearly through the layers of shapeless clothes, but the pink dress hugged her petite curves.

Dev watched as Lindsay descended the stairs, taking in every move she made. He watched as her hips swayed gently, and the fabric alternately stretched and wrinkled at her waist. Lindsay walked up to him, stared up into his face and smiled brightly, her pink lipstick shimmering.

“Are those for me?”

“What?” Dev asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Lindsay smiled again. “I decided I was done mourning my lost childhood. It was time for a new look anyway. What do you think?”

Dev nodded silently then considered she might like an answer. “You look good. Nice. It’s . . . I like the . . . your . . . hair.” Dev felt warmth creep up his neck into his face. He tore his eyes away from Lindsay’s, and noticed the roses in his hand. Dev felt stiff as he held them out for Lindsay, realizing she asked about them already. Even with Jack’s warning he was blowing this.

“Thank you,” Lindsay said, taking the roses and burying her face in the barely-opened blossoms.

Dev watched, mesmerized, and froze when she looked at him through her lashes. He had no idea what to do when Lindsay lifted her face from the flowers, keeping her blue eyes on his. Blue eyes. Not a dark blue, but not a watery, washed-out color either. Dev tried to place the exact color of Lindsay’s eyes but couldn’t. His brain seemed to be operating in a fog. He couldn’t believe he didn’t notice her eyes before. They sparkled with light and mischief. Perfect.

Lindsay set the roses on the sideboard table, breaking the connection between them. Dev took a moment to compose himself.

“Um.” Dev cleared his throat, embarrassed at his inarticulate reaction. “Shall we go then?”

“Sure.” Lindsay faced him, her glistening lips pulling up at the corners and parting to show Dev just a glimpse of petite white teeth.

Dev might have been lost all over again, but Lindsay readjusted the thin strap to a small silver purse Dev hadn’t noticed before. She took his arm and led him gently toward the door.

Once in motion, Dev simply resolved not to look at Lindsay until he figured things out, it’d be easier. He got her settled in the passenger seat and slid into the car beside her. Instead of looking at Lindsay to tell her where they were going, he looked out the window over her shoulder. To his relief she didn’t comment, although Dev was sure she noticed.

Driving didn’t require the concentration Dev wanted it to, and his mind was a hurricane of thoughts and emotions. His girlfriend was actually
a girl
, a pretty one at that. Strike that, Lindsay was beautiful. Dev always held suspicions Lindsay might be cute if she tried, but never considered the actual end result. He wanted her to ditch the costume, but never thought past the desire to realize what would happen when she did.

Fine, Dev steeled himself to accept this turn of events. So he didn’t think it through, shame on him. It didn’t matter, this was good. He was never embarrassed with Lindsay on his arm. But now no one would look at her oddly when they recognized him, it was what people expected to see. Maybe Kenny and Jess would shut up about it. Doubtful, he decided.

Anyway, so Lindsay was a girl. He knew that already, she just looked like one now. Dev chanced a sideways glance at the girl in the seat beside him. She was looking away, watching Seattle come into view as he drove downtown. Her short hair was so light and fine, it reminded Dev of a sculpture of fiber optic wires, alive with light and each strand perfectly placed. Dev wanted to reach out and touch it, but returned his eyes to the road and gripped the steering wheel firmly.

He wondered why she cut her hair, it used to be down to her waist. The thought of that silky, golden hair cascading to Lindsay’s waist made Dev clench his teeth and steal another glance at her.

Lindsay was still looking away and her bare shoulder drew his eye. The thin strap of her dress seemed only a suggestion as it laid limp across her shoulder. Its sole purpose was to provide contrast for the pale, translucent perfection of her skin. Smooth and – what was the word poets used? Dev’s eyes snapped to the road again as he considered Lindsay’s smooth, creamy skin. Alabaster, that was it. He was going to write some poetry later that Kenny would flip over.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Lindsay said. It was somehow comforting to hear the familiar prompt from her when he was quiet and introspective too long.

“They’re not worth that much,” Dev responded automatically. She was still
his
Lindsay, he decided. He just needed to think of it in superficial terms, like she changed her avatar online. This was really just a small change. Just clothes, hair, and makeup.

He glanced over at her with a smile. Why did such a small change make such a big difference then? Lindsay smiled back and pointed to the road. Dev realized he’d stared at her for far too long and returned his focus to driving. What if, instead of just
looking
like a girl, Lindsay was going to start
acting
like a girl?

Pulling off the freeway and starting to negotiate the streets of downtown Seattle, Dev considered the implications of Lindsay acting like a girl. He wasn’t exactly sure what that meant. The girls he knew superficially annoyed him; and the girls he knew well confused him. Actually, he knew George and Krista pretty well from their study group sessions, and they annoyed him too. He grew up with Cassie and her best friend, Tiffany, so it was clear he knew them too, and they also usually annoyed him. Where did that leave Lindsay?

Dev didn’t want complications in his relationship with her. What they had was damn near perfect in his mind. Sure, maybe he would give the idea of kissing a go if she wore less lipstick, but otherwise, it was great. Why did she have to go and mess it up?

The urge to slam on the breaks and scream at her filled Dev as he realized it was even more complicated with Lindsay. She was a nymphomaniac and she’d been ‘dry’ a long time, a year maybe. Who knew what was going through her mind? He felt like a mouse trapped in a cage with a hungry cat.

“Dev? You need to breathe,” Lindsay said, an edge of concern in her voice. “Red light ahead.”

Dev glanced ahead and slowed down. He nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Do you want me to drive? I got my license you know.”

“I also know you borrowed Sabrina’s car and smashed the back fender trying to parallel park. Then you borrowed Becky’s car and tried to drive it through a concrete fence.”

“I didn’t
try
to drive it through the fence, it just happened. And I don’t remember telling you that.”

“Becky did. I knew her first, remember?”

“Oh, yes, I remember. I also remember having to go to my hacker big sister for advice on how to handle my hacker boyfriend, then being jealous that she knows part of you better than I do.” Lindsay sounded irritated and Dev risked looking at her. Her arms were folded over her chest and she held her gaze straight ahead, clearly annoyed with him.

A car honking behind him prompted Dev to check the light and saw it was green. He drove on, wondering what to do with Lindsay’s outburst. She was jealous of her sister because he and Becky had a loose working relationship? They were both members of The Web Wizards hacking circle. Their interaction was online using pseudonyms. It didn’t really make sense to Dev, but memories of Jess’s frequent rants about the irrationality of women came to mind and he let it slide. To Lindsay it made sense, and that was all he needed to worry about; that and what to do about it.

“Lin, I . . .,” Dev faltered. “I don’t know what to do. Becky’s just Becky. Or maybe I should say she’s Terese. I mean it’s all online.”

Dev pulled up to the restaurant. The valet opened Lindsay’s door for her and she glanced at Dev before getting out. Dev exited the car, trading the valet a ticket for a tip. He reached Lindsay, took her hand, and prayed she’d drop the subject. Lindsay smiled as Dev spoke to the hostess and they were led off to a quiet table. Once they were seated, Dev’s reprieve ended.

Lindsay left her menu on the table and leaned forward, holding Dev’s eyes with her own. He had no idea what she was going to say, but he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to like it.

“Dev, we talked before you left about my situation, and danced around it several times over the past few months,” Lindsay began. Dev almost swore. He
knew
he wasn’t going to like it.

“Lin, let’s not discuss that particular topic here,” he pleaded.

“No, not even in with all the interesting metaphors and code words we came up with to make it easier for you. What I’m getting at is a different situation that we danced around and avoided talking about with any real depth.”

Dev’s brow drew together as he tried to figure out what she might be referring to. She smiled at his apparent confusion and reached across the table to take his hand in hers. Dev flinched as her fingers interlaced with his, her nails were longer and smoother than he remembered, and pink. He watched them as they delicately stroked the back of his hand.

“Two things, Dev. First: you’re shy around girls, we both know that. I’ve always been the exception, and that doesn’t need to change. I’m the same girl I was when you left, although I get it that you might need some time to come to the same conclusion.”

Dev nodded. “And second?” He pulled his hand away from hers and looked away, not willing to meet her eyes. The restaurant clientele proved almost as disturbing. As Dev watched, several people hastily looked away, a few put away their cell phones. Great, he completely forgot he was always on camera. Dev quickly adopted the mask-like expression he learned to loathe and returned his attention to his table. The silverware was neatly aligned and whoever folded the napkins was good at their job.

“Remember when Jess said I was leading you like a horse to water?” Lindsay asked.

“You agreed. This is what you meant?” Dev straightened the salt and pepper shakers so they lined up with the bowl of sugar substitutes.

“It’s a step.” Lindsay shrugged. “You’re better around girls, although it’s been giving me panic attacks all semester because you’ve been around college girls 2,500 miles away.”

“You know I don’t care about them,” Dev said with a sigh. He didn’t want to go over this again. The sugar substitutes were mixed up and he began alphabetizing them, finding one actual sugar packet in there as a sort of surprise bonus.

Lindsay smiled and took the bowl of sugar packets away from Dev. She set it aside and kept his hands prisoner with her own to hold his attention. “I still like to hear you say it. And I like the way you looked at me at the house. You avoided girls at college because I cried and begged you to. Now you’re heading off on tour and they’ll be backstage and at pre-show events. You
can’t
avoid them. If Alec doesn’t kill you, Kenny will.”

“Your point?” Dev asked, pulling a hand away and waiving off the waiter who was heading their direction.

“Look at me, Dev.” Lindsay waited until Dev reluctantly turned to fully face her again. She was beyond pretty, Dev decided. More than beautiful. He would be tempted to call her angelic except he knew Lindsay too well to consider her anything close to an angel. The thought embarrassed him and he turned his attention to his water glass instead, watching beads of water condense on the side of the icy crystal.

“Dev,” Lindsay whispered. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but I want you to understand that those other women have nothing I don’t have.”

“Of course not, Lin,” Dev said. He heard how short he sounded and took a breath to bring his temper in check. Dev looked back to her, lost in those crystal blue eyes. Lindsay smiled gently, almost imperceptibly, and reached across the table. She gently stroked Dev’s cheek, and he watched her hand as she reached for him, managing not to flinch. Her touch evoked something in him he didn’t recognize and wasn’t prepared for. Dev wanted to tell her to stop, he didn’t need complications like this, but somehow couldn’t.