Transitions (A Thousand Words Book 1) (8 page)

Dev moved closer and Lindsay wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer still. His hands immediately found their place at her waist and his lips found hers.

Lindsay’s fingers threaded through Dev’s hair, making every strand feel alive at her touch. Her knees fell to the sides, and she wrapped her legs around Dev’s hips, pulling his body against hers. He leaned into the tighter embrace, relishing the feel of her pressed against him. All of her pressed against him.

Dev felt sensual heat creep up his neck and grow between his legs. His hands pulled her waist against him firmly, and he wrapped one arm around her lower back to hold her there.

It was a casual day for Dev, so he wore a dress shirt but no tie. The starched and pressed material still could stop the feel of Lindsay’s breasts pushed against his chest. He briefly wanted to relieve them both of their shirts so he could experience the sensation without the clothing barriers in the way.

Pushing the thought away, Dev let his hands run, not up to those tantalizing breasts, but down to Lindsay’s hips, then down her thighs. Her skirt slid up when she wrapped her legs around him, and Dev ran out of cloth as his hands made their way down her body. Instead, he felt warm, bare flesh in his palm.

He froze, unintentionally breaking the kiss in his shock. Lindsay’s lips brushed against his invitingly, but Dev was still trying to take in everything that was happening. Her rapid breathing pressed her breasts against his chest in a tempting way. She held his hips locked against her and the realization made Dev uncomfortably aware of his own growing arousal.

“Don’t overthink this,” Lindsay whispered. “I know where you stand.”

“Why are we here?” Dev asked, his voice hoarse with pent-up emotion. He was suddenly aware of how alone and secluded they were. Lindsay was smart and Dev knew she chose this location for that reason.

“To bask in the glory of young love. In theory, we feel things more intensely because we have fewer significant experiences to dilute our perception.”

“Stop sounding like your mother. It’s a turn off.” Dev kissed her simply to shut her up. Sure, Lindsay answered his question, but listening to Sabrina’s words coming out of her mouth was just wrong. As much as Dev knew he was in dangerous water, he discovered he wasn’t ready to head for shore yet.

Dev pulled up in front of Bryan’s house after taking Lindsay home. It was just past midnight and the lights were off in the house. Dev sighed wistfully. He needed to talk about Lindsay. Of course as soon as he went home, no doubt Kenny and Jess would be waiting to do just that. Dev considered his options. Waiting to talk to Bryan tomorrow was fine, if he could avoid Kenny and Jess until then. If. The odds of being struck by lightning were probably better.

His phone was in his hand and he was typing a message to Bryan before Dev even made the decision to at least check if Bryan was still awake.

Bryan’s front door opened moments after he sent the message, the square of light catching Dev’s eye. His friend walked quietly down the path to Dev’s car and got in the passenger side.

“You missed a lot of fun by running out after practice like you did,” Bryan said. Dev forgot he left him to deal with the fallout of his little scene with Lindsay. Of course he and Lindsay had a lot of fun, and Dev knew who he’d rather spend all that time with.

Bryan leaned forward in his seat to try to see Dev’s face.

“Never mind,” Bryan said, a smile crossing his face. “I’m guessing you had a different kind of fun on your own.”

“What? I didn’t!” Dev protested. “We’re taking it slow.”

“Sure. So Jess’s ongoing question about whether you’d kissed her yet has been answered. A simple ‘yes’ would have sufficed, you know. As for taking it slow, there’s nothing wrong with making up for lost time.”

Dev nodded, not sure how to bring up his concern now that he had Bryan’s ear.

“Hopefully you won’t get the third degree when you get home,” Bryan continued. “We talked about it. Jess is worried.”

“Worried? His ‘she’s leading me like a horse to water’ theory?” Dev asked.

Bryan nodded. “I think he’s more worried that he doesn’t know what her end game is. Kenny’s worried that he does.”

“End game?”

“That Lin has aspirations to keep you.”

“Why is that a source of worry? Isn’t that kind of the point to dating? Find someone you’re compatible with and build a life together?”

Bryan smiled. “Yes and no. You’re eighteen. The point to dating for you is to gain experience so when you’re older you’ll recognize the traits you want in a partner.”

“Interesting lecture coming from you,” Dev said. Bryan and Brenda eloped at eighteen.

“Granted. Bren and I were friends before it ever turned romantic. We had a solid foundation, and it felt natural when hormones started kicking in and we realized we were attracted to each other. Most people aren’t lucky enough to have it happen like that. And it wasn’t all easy, don’t get me wrong. You and Lin have an easygoing friendship and some things in common that you had to look beyond the band to find. Kenny’s wrong to come down on her for not being as into the music as you are. Now there’s attraction too and I think you’re starting to see some bumps in the road ahead.”

“How’d you guess?”

“I know you. Lin’s pretty hot. Bren and I had suspicions before, so she did some digging and got a picture of her before her goth phase started.”

“What?” Dev looked at his friend, shocked that Bryan would check out his girlfriend without telling him.

“I would have mentioned it, but she was cute. Bren suspected you were more at ease around her because she wasn’t cute. I thought she might have a point. Also, Lin indicated she had more experience dating that you did, even at fifteen. That would fit with her being a cute little blond, not as a moody goth. And face it, she didn’t do the goth look particularly well considering how smart she is. Her act had to be just an act. By the time Bren showed me the picture, you were already attached to Lin anyway. Given all of that, I decided to let it play.

“The thing is, Dev, cute or hot, Lin could dress it a couple of ways and she’s choosing to show you ‘hot’ girlfriend, not ‘cute, sweet sixteen’ girlfriend. You better believe Jess called out the difference.”

“Why should he care if my girlfriend is hot versus cute? And why the hell is he checking her out?” Dev demanded.

Bryan was silent a moment. “He’s not, it’s just an observation. I told him to chill, if you got in over your head you’d come to me.”

Dev nodded.

“You’re in over your head, aren’t you?” Bryan asked. “How deep?”

Taking a long, cleansing breath, Dev closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. He opened his eyes again and looked at his friend’s calm exterior.

“Just between us? If Lin knew I was telling you, she’d kill me. Maybe.”

“Doesn’t leave this car. Not even Bren,” Bryan promised.

“Remember when I cut the deal with Flynn to leave for MIT in January?”

“It was a big stress for you, of course I do.”

“All right. With all the conditions Flynn piled on me, I’d still have to say he took it better than Lin did.”

“Really? She seemed pretty cool about it.”

“We talked about it and Lin didn’t want me to go. Part of it was because she was concerned about me meeting someone else. We addressed that, but it still made her anxious all semester. The other part was, well, she admitted to Jess’s ‘leading me’ theory before, and it made sense. I was kind of reserved –”

“A little bit,” Bryan agreed with a smile.

“Yeah. She caught onto that pretty quick.”

“And she helped you get over it.”

“Sort of. Lin was leading me a little at a time. She kept the goth thing going longer than she needed to because of me. She was leading me toward a real relationship, but taking it slow so she didn’t freak me out. Lin stopped trying not to freak me out when I told her I was leaving. She laid it all out on the table.”

“It can’t have been that bad.” Bryan shook his head.

“Not that. Lin’s adopted. Her mother was a prostitute and got her into the family business when she was three.
Three
, Bryan! I almost lost it right there, but she’s fine with her past. The upshot is it affected her. It made her – she’s a nymphomaniac now. Lin’s had years of therapy and it hasn’t made as much of an impact as dating me has. What was I supposed to do with that? I want to help her, and I’ll do what I can.”

“And now she’s washed the dye out of her hair and is putting pressure on you?” Bryan guessed.

“Not specifically. She’s still leading me on, knowing that I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum where sex is concerned. I think she assumes I’ll change my mind. What it’s shown me is that she has needs, desires, and different ideas of where to draw the line. I can’t be what she needs me to be.

“I mean it was great. Physically, I wanted more. But being with her, holding her and kissing her . . . it’s like a drug. I sort of get Jess’s behavior now. That’s an even bigger problem. I felt things, and wanted things, and then to look at Jess and Flynn? I’m almost tempted to avoid Seattle until I’m ready to marry her. Flynn will have to cope.” Dev finished and sagged in exhaustion in his seat.

Bryan was quiet a moment, thinking before answering.

“First, just to be clear, it sounds like you know you’re in trouble, but I don’t hear you saying that it isn’t what you want. If we can get you on firmer ground, is that good enough? Or is Lin just too much? Dev, be honest with yourself here.”

“I’m not willing to give up on her,” Dev responded immediately.

“Okay. The good news is Lin knows you and is already used to putting brakes on to accommodate your needs. But you have to work with hers too.”

“Bryan –”

“Yeah, I know. Teri was always pretty vocal on abstinence. Even Flynn went along with – yeah, bad example,” Bryan backpedaled before Dev could bring up Flynn’s affair. “The thing is, at some point you may look at Lin and regret that stance. Maybe you’ll wait. It’s in the future so it isn’t a bridge you have to cross yet, or even think about. Don’t paint yourself into a corner no matter how determined you are right now.

“That being said, maybe some limits to slow things down in the meantime. You’re going to be gone a lot. Touring, then the videos, then back to school. The little time you two have might be pretty intense. Have fun with it, but set some ground rules.”

“How?”

Bryan shrugged. “You two can talk, so talk. Tell her it was great, unexpected maybe, but that you enjoyed your crash course in . . . whatever you want to call it. That’ll soften it when you set conditions. She needs this from the sound of things, you can’t take it away.”

“I can’t let her get me worked up like that. And her skin, just touching her . . .” Dev closed his eyes as he remembered the silkiness of her warm skin in his hands.

“You getting worked up will get easier for you to control as time goes on. Keeping mind, of course, that feelings are more intense when you come together after being apart. For you, that’ll be most of the time. You can still set limits. You could only let it get physical when she’s wearing pants instead of a skirt maybe, or stay in the front seat of the car. Trust me, you can still get pretty far in the front seat, but it really hampers things. You can try the self-control take on limits if you want, like no touching where a bikini covers. It didn’t work for Bren and me, no self-control.”

“I’m not convinced we would either,” Dev admitted.

“Talk to her, Dev. The best thing for a relationship is communication. You have that already, don’t take it for granted.”

○ ○ ○

Dev sat down at the table in Kenny and Jess’s apartment and stared at the papers in his own hand. They’d spent half the day practicing and Alec was letting them quit early because they seemed to be getting their act together faster than expected. Not that they wouldn’t start over again tomorrow to be sure, and the next day.

“What’s that?” Kenny asked, reaching out and taking them from Dev and looking them over. His brow furrowed. “In the land where giant mushrooms grow, and in endless fields of subsidence craters, wildflowers glow . . .” Kenny frowned and looked at Dev.

“What?” Kenny asked, sitting back in his chair and pushing away from the table.

“It’s a song,” Dev said. “You wanted me to jot some things down. There’s the music,” he pointed.

“I see the music,” Kenny shuffled the papers and glanced over the sheets quickly, head moving to a beat he could hear in his mind. Dev stood and paced. “Rough, but a good start,” Kenny finally said.

“Thanks, and those are the lyrics.”

“That’s what I’m having more trouble with. Giant mushrooms?”

“It’s about nuclear testing,” Dev said, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall to face Kenny in a posture of defiance. He stayed up last night working on that when he should have either been preparing his arsenal of mayhem for the tour, or his argument for Lindsay on why they should keep their hands to themselves. Dev didn’t need to fight with Kenny too.

“I can see that. Very 70s, or 60s, I’m not really sure. Anyway, it sounds more like a bad trip, intentional or not. We don’t want to promote drugs.”

“I don’t want to promote free sex either, but we seem to be leaning that way.”

“No, not really. The songs are about relationships, not sex per se. You’re reading too much into it. Don’t watch Jess sing them. Either that or watch him sing something that’s completely unrelated and you’ll see he acts the same way. He’d probably imply his cock was a giant mushroom if you let him sing this.” Kenny dropped the pages on the table and stared at Dev.

“You wanted me to give writing a try,” Dev repeated.

“Yes, I did. I do. Clearly, I wasn’t specific enough. Dev, you write lyrics already. Sort of. You write poetry and I write music. Then I take your poetry and make it fit the music, hand it to you, and you polish it.”

Dev dropped down in the seat opposite Kenny again with a huff. “I know how it works. I’ve been doing it.”

“Okay. These lyrics, were these ever one of your poems? Because I can’t believe you would ever have handed this to me.”

Dev faltered.

“Well?”

“It was a poem.”

“Really?” Kenny’s eyebrows seemed to trip over themselves.

“All right, I was maybe eight.”

“Knock that crap off,” Kenny ordered. “Although the music can be saved. I’ll take it.”

“No.” Dev reached across the table and snatched the pages back. “I’ll take it back and give it another go if you don’t like my giant mushrooms.”

“No environmental statements,” Kenny said.

“I think we should make a few environmental statements. Maybe political. The state of the world is worth crying over. People talk about the coming apocalypse wistfully like they used to talk about the good old days. It’s nuts!”

“Whatever.” Kenny waved him off. “Just no hallucinogenic mushrooms.”

“We’re a Seattle band, Kenny. Pot’s legal here. No one would –” Dev grinned.

“No! You’re the one obsessed with image. Consider the message we’d be sending.”

That sobered Dev.

“And nothing about abstinence. Preach caution all you want, but no hardline approach,” Kenny continued.

“Of course not. As you said, Jess sings it. We’d be a laughingstock.”