Travel Bug (22 page)

“The union had to be preserved,” said my great grandfather.

“Did you go to school with any of these guys?”

“Shut up you little snot,” he answered me.

Then sacrifice, after brother fought brother and so forth, the Gettysburg Address… Mr. Lincoln went to the theater to catch a show and of course, ended up catching a bullet.

The words of Walt Whitman “Oh captain, my captain” captivated our souls and filled our hearts with great sorrow.

“Enough of this,” said the old man, crying. “We need to see some more heroes.”

They were all around us, you see. It was a confusing image. What I could see was awful. They were everywhere, dying from disease, starvation or just plain old murder by these evil fascists who thought that their usefulness had run out. A young girl pleaded with her mother for food, we could see their ribs quite visibly and she could do nothing more than hold her in her arms and weep uncontrollably.

“God,” said Harold.

“I know.”

The men in uniform smoked cigarettes and drank whiskey. They looked at the starving children and made faces that seemed to mock them, I could do nothing but cry. These were not merely tears for these poor suffering victims of evil, they were also tears for all of mankind that we could be so cruel. I had seen women burned at the stake as witches, innocents die and even a man getting decapitated with a knife one could find in a kitchen. The suffering of the children here and the largeness of it, it was so appalling that I vomited on my shoes.

Then… they came… the Americans… to liberate. They mowed the concentration camp guards down, mowed them down with their bullets. Sick of watching their friends die by their side, they came to aid of these innocent victims during what would eventually become known as the holocaust. They gave food to the starving; one man who looked like a skeleton ate one candy bar and fainted. Then they fed the children and it was obvious they took great pride in helping those victims most of all.

“Thank God,” said Harold, those tears weren’t going anywhere.

Then something else happened. Sort of the rise of the dark side again, one might say. Dear reader, these men lost so many friends, sometimes all their friends and brothers. I’m not making excuses here, really. Anyway, they started looking at the victims more closely and then they would stare at the guards. It didn’t take a psychic to see what was going to happen to these Nazis in the immediate future. They would die by the hands of those they murdered. There were apparently no Oscar Schindler types here. The victims obliged and shot their captors, sometimes they were so sick from starvation they would fall over and miss and even hit another concentration camp prisoner. I didn’t like this, I really didn’t. I don’t mean to sound like one of those sissies who are against the death sentence of a multiple child murderer, crying that he’s just another victim but I did not care for this behavior at all. I’m not a fool; I did understand the reasons behind the violence.

“Don’t be sad, those men deserved what they got, son.”

“I know, great grandfather.”

“Look…”

“You don’t have to explain it to me. They don’t have a goddamn unnamed species to go and witness the bad childhoods of all the men who raped and tortured their children. I get it, okay?”

“Sorry, Andrew,” he said.

“Let’s please just watch these brave men go back to America and brag about how they helped stop this evil, evil man……”

Well, they stopped in the closest town for what I assumed would be for food and supplies for all. I was wrong. The young women in town, pretty or not were the soldier’s main source of refreshment. Oh, I don’t mean prostitutes or even women who gave them any kind of consent. This was rape and pillage time. Burning down homes and raping young girls for sport, that kind of thing. Murdered men, most of which opposed the war but did not intervene out of fear for their families and raped young girls were now part of American history.

“Andrew, forgive them…”

“There are no excuses for some things…”

“I know that, look…”

“Harold, what causes man’s violent nature?”

“Man needs no excuse; the human race is violent, even for shallow reasons like profit or amusement.”

The Crew

“It’s hidden!”

“What?”

“The animatronics dragon that comes out of the dungeon is well hidden, that’s what makes it scary when it pops out. It comes about half way through the hayride.”

“Oh.”

“So you want to put a crew together?” asked the eager young man.

“Yes,” answered the middle aged man, who appeared a little rough around the edges.

“My name is Phil…”

“No last names, please.”

“Okay.”

“You can call me Kirk.”

“Okay, Kirk.”

Phil was in his twenties and Kirk was some kind of businessman who was at least in his early forties. He had never been in a crew before and this was the kind of thing that was off the books. There would be no checks or income tax paid. This was “under the table” and most illegal.

“You know, Kirk. I hate to ask but what’s the motivation for getting this crew together?”

“Why, money, of course. What else would it be?”

“I like to think that people should get their money’s worth when they go to a haunted hayride attraction, you know.”

“My employer agrees, Phil. That’s exactly why he is getting a crew together. Everything should be in its perfect place. No terrible music or bad actors. The animatronics monsters should look good. The man wants the competition to be humiliated and disgraced. They need to be seen for the cheap, unsafe crooks that they really are.”

It was a bizarre experience sitting in the back of a hay wagon on the Sleepy Acres Farm in Deer County, Pennsylvania. The hayride’s opening night would be tonight but its best nights, the most money made would be closer to Halloween.

“What about the rest of the crew?”

“Don’t worry, Phil. They’ll be here soon.”

Todd and Ralph arrived shortly after Phil did. They were also college kids in their early twenties.

The four men exchanged pleasantries and then began to talk business. They would have a lot of work to do. The hayride was popular. There was, however, great competition in the area. There was the Vampire Castle, The Haunted Barn, the Headless Knight and many, many others. That was just in one little county! There was significant work to do in order to justify the expense of the crew.

“Now about the money situation?” asked Phil.

“You will be paid at the end of the night.”

“Just like some damned kid dressed up in a costume gets paid. The end of the night, huh,” said Todd.”

“Correct,” said Kirk.

Todd took an immediate dislike to this middle age conman. He looked low class to him. The young man went to a good college and majored in business. This man looked like some schmuck who would claim he graduated “from the school of hard knocks.”

“I don’t like it,” said Todd.

“Yeah, I don’t like it either,” said Phil.

“No problem. Give me back your money and you guys can get the fuck out of here. I don’t need to tell you what will happen if you ever tell anyone about the crew.” Kirk was not smiling.

Kirk was starting to take a look at Phil and Todd. Spoiled little bastards, they were. It was the boss man who picked the crew and not Kirk. He would pick fellow working class guys who would have appreciated this kind of money.

“I’m in,” said Todd.

“I’m in as well,” said Phil.

“Good. We’re on the same page then,” Kirk said.

“I need the money and I’ll do whatever you say,” said Ralph.

Kirk took an instant liking to Ralph. Maybe the kid was a college boy but he sure made a working man’s impression. He needed the money. If he were in college, then he damn well was one of the first ones in his family to attend. Perhaps even a community college student, Kirk had dared to dream. Ralph was the only one Kirk would pick for a crew.

“It’s a good opportunity for you, Ralph,” said Kirk.

“You bet.”

“It’s also good for the two of us,” said Phil.

“Hell, that’s good for all four of us,” Kirk said.

The night would not be complete without at least one of these guys screwing up royally. That was the outcome and the downside of the boss’s lottery system. The upside of it all was no last names and no detectable patterns. Kirk knew that his boss was a diabolical genius of the haunted house industry. He fell for his plans a long time ago. The man was generous to a fault with those who were loyal. The boss man also made every penny of his own money by hard work. Although wealthy, he came from such working class stock, he could never get into certain blue blood country clubs. That was okay with the boss man. He was a loner.

Kirk rolled his eyes at the snotty little pricks and got out a small bottle of whiskey. He took a big sip and smiled at the four boys.

“Hey, can I have some?” asked Phil.

“Fuck you. No drinking on the job. You little pricks need to listen up.”

Kirk gave them each one mean blow to the head. They looked at Kirk with a glare of utter disbelief in being treated in such a manner.

“Now, damn it, guys. Are we on the same page?”

“Yes sir,” said Phil.

“Yes sir,” answered Todd.

“Good. Now when I’m not around, Ron is in charge. Got it?”

“Yes,” they both answered at the same time.

Kirk was going to take charge and not allow any nonsense. They would be better off dying and rotting in hell than face Kirk’s wrath. The blows to the head were nothing. They were just to get their stupid attention. The boss man was much worse. Kirk was like a dictator, the boss was like the devil himself.

“I’ll do the best that I can for you, sir.”

“I know you will, Ralph, now does everyone know what to do?”

Phil couldn’t afford his tuition. He lost a lot of money due to a bad gambling habit. Phil came out of a good family who didn’t make mistakes. The disgrace of asking his parents for money was always on the young man’s mind. It would no longer have to be so. If only he would have played one less hand, he wouldn’t be with three strangers at a haunted hayride. He wasn’t as smart as this family of his thought he was.

“I can’t wait to have my money,” said Todd.

Todd was a spoiled brat as a child. His father was a heavyweight in the world of finance. He lost it all. The heavy burden of financial ruin was on the unfortunate young man’s shoulders. He carried the full weight of his tuition with the heavy burden of his father’s financial collapse. Todd worked two jobs to help the family. His father was resorting to delivering pizzas and started drinking heavily. Todd was thrilled that the boss man found him. He was very happy indeed and all worries would end when he got his money.

“I want this nightmare to be over,” said Ralph.

“You’re not talking about the job. Are you?” asked Kirk.

“No.”

“You want your money problems to come to an end,” said Kirk.

“Yes.”

“I understand. I really do.”

Ralph had the worst situation of all. He was only taking a few classes because he was working two full time jobs. Ralph had quit them both the day before. He was taking a great risk and he really needed it to pay off. The working class family he had was a terrible burden. A disabled father who couldn’t work but genuinely wanted to work. His mother, a hard working housewife refused to work for religious reasons. The boss man needed a crew and Ralph was all too eager. The boss man actually had a little bit of a soft spot for old Ralph and he knew that Kirk would as well.

The crew slipped into the barn and put their costumes on. Phil was a vampire, Ralph was a killer clown and Todd was a pirate.

The boss man’s number one guy was dressed as the grim reaper. Death was a good costume for this wicked man. It was up to him to take these three young men out of the seventh circle of hell. Then he would put this fine thriving hayride into Dante’s financial inferno.

“Here they come,” said Ralph.

It was amazing how the crew blended in. The actors could not tell that there were four plants among them. There was a lot of small talk going on. College kids talked about their classes, grades and who they were fucking. Some kids were selling dope and others were talking about what great beer money this was. Others said they were going to scare the living fucking hell out of all customers tonight! Some of them were pretty into this gig. One could easily tell who was going through the motions and who was a serious ghoul. Aspiring actors and horror writers did not like the lighthearted attitude of the weekend warriors. This was, after all, a paying audience that needed to be pleased.

“Love your costume,” said a girl dressed like a zombie.

“Thanks,” answered Kirk.

“You put a lot of thought into it,” she said to Kirk.

Kirk couldn’t help but have a little bit, not much but a little bit of respect for those actors who were taking their craft fairly seriously.

“I haven’t seen you guys before,” said a young lady in full witch costume.

“Sorry,” answered Ralph.

“You heard me,” she said. “The vampire, the reaper, the pirate and the clown are new. All new actors, I think. I mean I guess I should know who the new losers are here. I’ve been here for four years as an actress now.”

“Well, good for you,” said Ralph.

“Do you want to go behind the barn for a few minutes?”

“Sure,” Ralph answered.

“Good,” she said.

The girl took Ralph behind the barn and unbuttoned her blouse. He had been so busy with work that he barely remembered that he had a sex drive. This girl’s beautiful tits were a pretty damn good reminder. His erection was instant. Ralph was in dire straits and he needed to be financially independent. Still, he was a young man and needed to fuck someone.

“So what you guys doing?”

“What?”

“I assume that you’re spying on the competition. That’s why I haven’t seen any of you before.”

“Alright…”

“Come on, you can tell me.”

Ralph found a short rope and tied the girl’s hands together. Then he began walking with her towards the parking lot. She smiled at him like she was going on some kind of fun adventure.