Trials (Rock Bottom) (6 page)

“I was around un
til about ten. So only for the first twenty minutes or so.”

“Then where did you go?”

“Upstairs to my bedroom.”

“
Hmm, and why did you go up there?”

Jeremy shifts
a bit in his chair. This catches my attention immediately. It’s a tick, a sign that he is about to lie. “To sleep.”

I know Mr. Current will
catch it, too. “Why would you have a party if you were going to sleep twenty minutes after it started?”

It does
n’t make sense to me, either. I eye Jeremy’s face suspiciously. I see sweat subtly start to bead on his forehead. “Because I don’t like to party anymore. The men in my band throw the parties. I have no desire to be around that shit.”

“And is that because you
claim you no longer use drugs and alcohol?” Steven chimes in. His voice is almost sarcastic.

“I
am
clean,” Jeremy confirms. His voice is certain and final. He looks over at me pointedly, and looks back towards Steven. I feel like I just got punched in the stomach. His confirmation along with the parole officer’s reports make me want to believe him. But, I’m not stupid enough to think that he couldn’t have paid someone off if he wanted to.

“
Did you go up to the bedroom alone?” Mr. Current continues.

Jeremy huffs.
“No, a girl came up with me. I guess she was trying to fuck me. I wasn’t interested.”

Everyone looks at each other and then back at Jeremy. “There are witnesses stating that she never came back downstairs after they saw her walk up with you. Hand-in-hand I might add,” Steven states.

Jeremy stares daggers at him and shrugs nonchalantly. “I don’t know what happened after I turned her down and she left my room. Honestly, I don’t care.”

Jeremy’s lawyers clear their throats uncomfortably. He’s acting very defensive, even I can see that. I mentally will him to stop being such an asshole.

“When did you see the girl next?” Mr. Current continues.

“In the morning when I opened the door to the bedroom.
She was laying outside of my door. Her lips were blue and she had a needle lying next to her.”

Mr. Current nods. “Are you aware
, Mr. Mason, that Ms. Carter had traces of semen inside of her when she was found by the EMTs?”

Jeremy shrugged. “Okay?
A lot of people have sex at my parties.”

“Yes…well…let me show you a report my office received.”

Mr. Current picks up a stack of papers beside him and hands one to each person on Jeremy’s team, including Jeremy. Jeremy and his team take a moment to look at it, each of them becoming instantly uncomfortable. My anxiety is barely contained.

Jeremy finally looks worried.
His eyes widen and his face pales. He looks directly at Mr. Current. “Why would I call the police if I gave her the hot dose of heroin?”

Mr. Current ignores his question. “The paper
shows that the semen found in Ms. Carter matches your DNA. Does it not?”

My heart hits the floor. I look down at the table, trying to catch my breath. I have a strong desire to vomit. I can barely keep the bile from rising into my mouth. When I look up a moment later, Jeremy is staring at me. He doesn’t look angry or uncaring- he looks terrified and guilty.

“Okay,” he says, still staring at me. “Okay. I slept with her.”

His legal team instantly begins to whisper to each other, in his ear, grab papers…they look frantic.
I stare at Jeremy, my mouth hanging open. His eyes tear.

We both compose ourselves as Mr. Current asks, “And were you aware she was seventeen?”

“No!” Jeremy answers instantly. “No one is allowed at my parties unless they’re twenty-one. And she must have had a damn good fake ID if she got through my guards.”

“We would like to have a moment to discuss this new information with you in private,” one of his legal team members says to Mr. Current.

Mr. Current nods. “That’s fine. Let’s go just across the hall to my office for a moment. Miss Ackhart will stay and collect some basic missing information from Mr. Mason. Alright, Dylan?” He looks at me, as if in anticipation.

Fuck. Just, fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

“Yes, Sir,” I say, looking towards Jeremy who has his eyes pointed at the ceiling in irritation. With a shaking hand I pull out Jeremy’s information sheet. Everyone in the room but Jeremy and I stand from their seats and leave the room. When the door shuts behind the last person, we’re left alone.

We sit for a few minutes, not looking at each other. The tension in the room is he
avy and I’m concentrating on breathing evenly so that I don’t give in and pass out. Regardless, my heart is more alive at this moment than it has been in the past ten months.

“Wife,” I hear him whisper, so softly it could have easily been my imagination. But I know I would never imagine him saying that in this moment.
I’m instantly transported back to the last time we were together, when he told me I’d always be his wife…

My heart beats rapidly. “Don’t,” I choke out.

When I look up, his jaw is clenched. He’s still not looking at me. His eyes are pointed towards the other corner of the room. “Are you seriously working on a case against me?”

I find my voice. “You’re only a suspect, Jeremy. But you’re not doing yourself any favors by the way you’re acting.
And withholding information.”

He looks at me. His blue eyes
glisten with his tears. “You know where this is going.”

I don’t look away even though I want to. I want to hide fro
m his pain. “I know. But, this is my career. My dream.”

“I thought you loved me.”

I give him a horrified look. “Seriously, Jeremy? You cut me out of your life!” My anxiety is turning to rage. How could he say something like that to me? He’s a manipulator and a liar. Just like every other addict. “You think you can come in here and spout shit to me so that I can help you climb out of the hole you put yourself in? Think again. I’ve changed since you left, Jeremy. I grew up.”

“No, Dylan. All you did was pretend to grow up. You’re playing house with a man you think you should be wi
th. You’re in a job you think you should have. You’re still just as naive as ever.”

“You don’t even know me, Jeremy. You made sure of that when you cut me out, you fucking narcissist. Just because you’re a genius doesn’t mean you have a clue about me or, frankly, anyone else.”
I can feel myself burning with rage, my face on fire.

“I left for the good of us. I cut you out
because you wouldn’t have understood. I did it for us. Everything I’ve done since I met you has been for us, Dylan. I fucking love you. I love you more now than I ever have…”

My heart swells but my mind races
. “Stop, stop!” I cut him off. “I don’t want to hear your lies. I’m not interested.”

He stands
up and slides over to take the chair directly in front of me. He leans over the table and stares deeply into my eyes. “I’m sorry I was angry before. It just shocked the shit out of me to see the love of my life working on a case against me…to put me in jail for something I didn’t do. Dylan, I’m innocent. I had nothing to do with this and I have no idea how she got that heroin. But I didn’t give it to her.”

He looks passionate and intense, making the flush in my face recede.
Suddenly, we hear voices outside of the door and the doorknob begins to move. Jeremy jumps to his original seat and we wipe our faces with our sleeves. By the time the other men walk into the room, we both look relatively normal.

I realize I have
n’t gotten any of the paperwork done that I was supposed to, but a lot of it I can probably answer on my own.

“Ms. Ackhart, everything wrapped up?” Mr. Current asks me before sitting in his seat.

“Just a few more questions, Sir. Nothing that can’t wait,” I smile up at him and quickly look away.

Jeremy’s legal team explains that due to the new information obtained
, they need a day to converse with their client and that we can continue the meeting tomorrow. I sigh, unsure how I feel about seeing him again.

As he stands with his team and walks out of the room, he looks behind his shoulder to look at me. His eyes convey what his mouth is unab
le to- that he’s sorry and he loves me. With the way the emotions dance across his face, it actually looks like it could be true. If it really is a charade he’s playing, then he’s a dangerously convincing liar.

I go through the rest of the day in a haze, purposely shutting my brain off to the point where I’m just barely able to function normally. I don’t want to even begin to process what happened in that questioning room. I’m kept busy by meeting all of my colleagues, learning the new paperwork and policies that need to be done in Homicide, as well as other things interns typically take care of. By the time I’m finally walking out of my building and towards my car, I’m so emotionally and mentally exhausted I feel like going home and falling into bed.

I take t
he back door again just in case but I’m relieved to see that the press has cleared from the front of the building. I see my little car far off in the distance and take my time walking towards it.

“Dylan,” I hear suddenly.

Oh, God…

I freeze in my tracks and swing myself around. I see his silver Honda stopped in the middle of my street. Jeremy’s staring out the window, his blonde hair shining in the sun and sunglasses reflecting my shocked face.

“Huh?” I mumble out.

“Get in,” he says. I stare at him like he’s crazy before I turn to continue walking towards my car.

“Dylan, get in the car,” I hear him say as his car inches to match my stride. His voice is low and demanding. It makes my heart lurch in my chest.

“Are you nuts?” I whisper out of the side of my mouth. “I can’t be seen with you.”

“You won’t be if you get in the fucking car.”

I sigh, my resolve wavering, but keep moving forward.

“Dylan, I swear to God I will get out and throw you in this car.”

Goddamnit.

I turn and run around the front of his car, opening the pas
senger door and flopping onto the seat. I barely get my door shut before he drives away.

“Where are we going?” I ask. I turn to look at him. His proximity shocks me, his face dangerously close. He looks so good. I’ve never seen him look so…healthy.

He turns to look at me for a moment, catching on to the changing in my breathing pattern. He licks his lips as he looks into my eyes. “I’m taking you to my apartment. Just to talk. If that’s okay.” He looks back to the street.

My palms instantly break out into a sweat.
No, Dylan. No. No no no…

“Okay,” I whisper.

We drive in silence the rest of the way. I don’t think either of us knows what to expect.

We park in an unassuming parking lot in front of a partially run down building. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion as we exit the car. “Where are we?”

He rounds the car to my side, stopping in front of me at a respectful distance. “Uh, well…this is where I’m living while the whole investigation happens. It’s nice because I don’t think anyone has caught on that I live here yet. The press hasn’t exactly been scouting out places like this.”

When I don’t respond he turns and begins to walk towards the building. I follow behind him as we walk up ce
ment steps and through a yellowing glass door.

The building smells old and a bit musty.
We beginning climbing stairs. After the first two flights, we stop on a landing. Jeremy turns and his body is painfully close to me. I feel the familiar electricity between us, awakening every dormant cell in my body. I hadn’t realized how dead I’ve felt.

“Sorry,” he says nodding towards my high heels.
“A few more flights.”

I manage a small smile
and nod. It’s endearing he’s worried about my feet. That’s what was so nice about Jeremy, the little things he would do like that. It almost could make you forget all of the crazy shit he pulled.

We climb another few flights of stairs. Honestly, I stop counting after I accidentally focus my attention on Jeremy’s ass that happens to be right in front of my face. I’m only human, after all.

We get into his apartment and it’s much of what I expect of him. There’s a couch, a TV, and a beautiful piano in the small living room. And that’s it- there’s no other furniture or pictures. The apartment has beautiful hardwood floors. It looks much better than the rest of the building.

I feel the atmosphere change as I close the door behind me
. We’re now alone in his apartment. My body trembles and as I inspect him, I think I see him shaking, too.

He turns towards me and his blue eyes sparkle. He smiles and laughs an adorable, awkward chuckle. He grabs the back of his neck with his hand and motions with the other towards the couch. “Let’s, ah, sit…”

I sit at the end of the black couch, almost on the arm rest. He flops down gracefully at the other end. Immediately I’m brought back to the first time he had me in his dressing room and I smile despite myself.

“A little familiar, yes,” Jeremy says
, reading my thoughts.

I try to push the memory away. I’m not here to reminisce and it’s dangerous to do that. He hasn’t explained anything to me about our break-up and even if
he does, I’m not sure it would change anything.

“So, you need to talk to me?” I press. His smile falls.

“Yes. I think you need to know what happened. I think you deserve that.”

I feel a lump in my throat. I try to swallow it down.

“Remember our last conversation? I was helping you get ready for Theresa’s wedding.”

My eyes tear but I will myself not to cry. “Yes, I remember.”

“Well, I wasn’t able to call you again before the wedding. I was exhausted and I had shows within eight hours of each other. But I missed you desperately. Especially that night, wishing I could be there to support you. So the next day I went on your profile and saw that you were tagged in some pictures from the wedding.”

I
look at him, confused. I rack my brain to think about where this could be going. “Yes…” I urge him to continue.

“I looked through them and I saw in more than half of the pictures, you were dancing with Scott.”

“Okay…”
So what?
Both of us had gone stag that night and I like to dance.
Where is he going with this?

“I
n some of them he was holding you really close and playing with your hair. You guys were laughing together…I don’t know. I know now that I was being ridiculous. I know that you weren’t mine and you had a right to date him if you wanted to. But it set me the fuck off, seeing you with him. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t take the pain of knowing you were with him and I couldn’t even be there to fight for you. I hated knowing it was probably for the best, too. For a few days I let the pain stew around in my head until I went out and found a dealer on the street and bought a bag of heroin.”

I gasp and go rigid. So he
is
using again. I don’t understand. How is this getting by everyone?

“Wait…wait…I didn’t use it.”

Huh?

“Huh?” I squeak out.

“I didn’t use the heroin…but I wanted to. I kept it with me and hidden in my room. It comforted me just to know it was there. But I couldn’t bear to use it because that would mean that I wasn’t worthy of you. It would mean that I could never be worthy of you. But I realized that, as much as I love you, you are a major trigger for me.”

My eyes widen. We’re silent as I process that information. “I am?”

He nods. “You are. In a big way. And I knew that I couldn’t have any kind of relationship with you until I got my addiction completely under control. Until I learned how to deal with my emotional issues without drugs. Emotions are kind of new to me. I used to use so I couldn’t feel them because, well, when I was a kid they were never very fun for me.”

“Why di
dn’t you just tell me?” I demand. “I was in so much pain, thinking you just left me because I didn’t mean anything to you.”

He sighs
. “In a way, it’s almost right that you saw it that way. I was a coward about it and assumed you would make it hard for me to do what I felt I needed to do. I knew if our relationship continued the way it was, this weird friendship yet non-friendship, I would use again. I did what I thought was right for myself and not for you. After a little while I realized what I had done wasn’t right. And when I was ready to come back to you it had been so long that I didn’t know where to begin. I went on your profile and saw that you were in a relationship with Scott. You guys look so happy in your pictures.” He squeezeshis eyes shut tightly. “I figured you had moved on. And I was so fucking pissed. I was pissed at you, at myself, at Scott…everyon
e
I sank into this deep depression… I slept all the time, only woke to perform, I slept around… But, I could never bring myself to do the drugs again, because that’s what drove you away from me.”

He opens
his eyes and lets a tear fall. “Even after I started sleeping around I couldn’t get you out of my head. Every time I looked at them I saw you, Dylan. My life, my mind…even my music is consumed by you. I treated you like shit when we were together. I used your love for me like a weapon. I threatened to leave you all the time for just wanting to help me. I’ve learned since then what real love is. Now that I know how to love you the right way, it’s too late. I’ll never forgive myself.”

I feel dizzy. All I can do is sit there like an idiot. He’s telling me the wor
ds I wanted to hear for so long but never expected in a million years. I stand up and smooth out my blouse, staring at the floor. “I have to go…”

I turn and start walking
away. “That’s it?” Jeremy croaks.

I stop and turn towards him. “I don’t know what to do with that information, Jeremy. I have a good man who stuck with me and cleaned up the mess you left. Not to mention you’re a suspect in a murder.”

“I didn’t do it…” he growls.

My eyes soften. “S
eventeen, Jeremy? How could you?”

He runs his
hand through his hair, obviously embarrassed. “I mean, you saw the girl. She didn’t look seventeen at all. She must have had a damn good fake ID.”

I roll my eyes. “
Maybe you shouldn’t climb in bed with everyone who walks by you.” My jealousy is burning in my stomach.

“That isn’t fair.”

“Did you give her the heroin, Jeremy? Did you?”

“No!” he says,
appalled. “Did you hear anything I just said?”

“Listen, my mind is racing and I don’t know how to make heads or tails of this. I’m just going to call a cab and I’
ll see you tomorrow at the office.”

I turn to hear Jeremy sigh. “Just wait on the stairs out back. Rich will take you
to your car.”

“Okay,” I mumble, opening the door and shutting it as I run down the stairs.

I finally reach the landing of the cement stairway outside and stand there. I’m not sure what car Rich will be driving so I don’t even know what to look for. The longer I stand there alone, the harder it is to stop myself from turning around and running back upstairs to Jeremy.

A white car speeds into the parking lot and stops in front of the stairway. I see Rich sitting in the driver’s seat before he’s able to get out of the car. I can’t help my tears from spilling over now. I desperately missed him.
I hadn’t realized how important he had become to me.

“Rich!”
I yell and run to him after he stands from his seat. I catch his wide smile before he opens his arms and I fall into them.

“Miss Dylan. Nice hair,” he says, squeezing me tightly.

“I missed you, Rich.”

“I missed you, too.”

He releases me and we walk around to the other side of the car. He opens the door for me like old times. I smile at him before I sit and he closes the door.

He gets in the driver’s side and begins to drive away from the building. We sit in
awkward silence for a moment.

“Rich,” I say, breaking the silence. “Do you think he’s innocent?”

“Of course. I know he is. And I’m not going to rest until it’s proven.”

I nod, even though he can’t see me. “You really love him,” I state.

Rich sighs. “He’s been so different without you, Ms. Dylan,” Rich says.

I sigh. “What do you want me to do, Rich? He left me without any explanation. I moved on. I’m in love with someone else.”

Rich pauses. “With all due respect, Ms. Dylan…I don’t think you were meant to break up in the first place.”

“Do you think you were meant to break up?” Dr. Spritz asks me. I’m sitting in her office for my standard weekly meeting. I am so grateful I get to see her today. After everything that happened in the last 24 hours, I need to get my head on straight. Especially so I can be prepared for tomorrow.

I consider her question. “I think so. I mean, we were slowly becoming destructive towards one another. And
, we had to work out our problems on our own.”

She nods. “Some people believe it’s better to
stay together and work out their problems as a couple. They say it makes you grow together and helps you learn how to overcome hardships.”

I shrug. “I don’t know that would have worked for us.”