Trials (Rock Bottom) (10 page)

“I don’t care where we go as long as we’re together,” Scott continues. “And you know I can do a lot of my business from home. I’ll have to travel no matter where I go. We’ll be okay, baby. Don’t cry. You were right to quit.”

We sit in silence after that as
he rocks me. His words replay over and over in my head. I know if I let this relationship continue, he will ask me to marry him. I think it’s been leading up to that for a long time. I’d be an idiot to say anything but yes; he’s smart, handsome, rich, and very much in love with me. He worships and adores me. But no matter how hard I try to concentrate on that…no matter how much I understand the life Scott would give me if I let him…the only person my heart longs for is Jeremy. I can pretend as much as I want that it has changed, but it hasn’t. My heart always belongs to Jeremy.

Will there ever come
a day when I get my heart back and move on from him? Or had he ruined me forever?

Even though I try to convince Scott to skip the benefit dinner, he presses me to go. He says it will be good for me to get out and try to have a good time. I don’t think it’s going to help very much, but I
want to make Scott happy and he seems so excited to take me out.

I’m glad in a way that I’m able to finally wear the long, deep red ball gown that I had gotten earlier in the year. I hadn’t had a reason to wear it, but when I saw the dress, I knew it was for me. Surprisingly, it accented my new brown hair even better than the blonde.
Looking at myself in the mirror, it does lift my mood a little bit to be dressed up and ready to go out. I look like a girl going on a romantic date with the love of her life should. That kind of screams, “Fuck you, Jeremy Mason,” to me, even if that’s not the way I’m feeling. I still want it to come across that way.

When I walk out of the bedroom, I freeze in the hallway. I see Scott standing in the living room, toying with the cufflinks on one of his sleev
es. I have seen Scott in suits before, but never in a formal tuxedo. His broad shoulders fill out the jacket perfectly. Even the bowtie makes him look sexy instead of nerdy. My God, the man is a vision.

I can get used to looking at that face
every day.
My heart sinks for a moment as I consider a future without Jeremy.
Shut up, heart.

“
Dylan, you look amazing,” Scott says, walking towards me. His face is full of wonder and adoration. I smile back at him, placing my hand on his face and giving him a quick kiss.

The doorbell rings a few moments later. Scott opens it to reveal a driver who tel
ls us our limo is outside. I haven’t been in a limo since…

Stop, Dylan.

We walk out of the house and down the stairs hand in hand. The driver opens the car door for us and we quickly slide into the limo. When Scott lets go of my hand in the car, I notice my hand is wet. It’s not terribly hot today- I wonder why his palms are so sweaty.

“Are you okay?” I ask Scott as he adjusts his tie.

“Of course,” he says confidently, smiling back at me.

Every year, Scott’s parents rent out the same venue in Boston to host a benefit for a different cause. Last year it was for local homeless children, and the year before that was breast cancer. Because this is the first year I’m attending, the Hillman’s were kind enough to pick a cause very close to my heart- drug addiction and addiction education.

We finally pull up just outside the Omni Parker House, and I’m surprised to see so many members of the press there. A red carpet is stretched out front of the limo. The car in front of us is letting a few socialite couples out of the car, cameras flashing as they begin to walk towards the building.

I smile. “Wow, this is a big deal.”

“Yes,” Scott says as the car moves forward and stops in front of the red carpet. “We’ll raise a lot of money tonight. And all because of you. You inspired tonight, the way you always inspire me.” He smiles at me before stealing a kiss. Our door opens and we step out onto the sidewalk.

As soon as the cameras begin to flash, my grip on Scott’s hand tightens. I’m not as anxious as I used to be- these reporters are calmly standing behind barricades and simply ask us to smile as they let us walk past them. Then again, we aren’t exactly celebrities.

I gasp when we reach the door to the building and walk inside. The lobby is gorgeous, with classy white walls and white chandeliers dangling from the ceiling. The carpets are red with patterns of gold woven in. Every surface sparkles in the dim lighting. The only other time I’d been somewhere as nice was when I went to the opera in Florida. With him.

It’s crowded already as the ball room has yet to open, and I look around with Scott to try and find his parents. I see them first, and his mother waves to me from across the room.

I tug on Scotts hand and lead him over to his parents. His mother approaches me first. She’s a tall and ageless blonde with a perfect figure, the stereotypical trophy wife. But she’s so kind and gentle- not at all what you would expect from someone so rich and beautiful. She wraps me in a hug. “Dylan, sweetheart. You look wonderful.”

“So do you, Mrs. Hillman,” I return to her as he lets go of me.

“Please, call me Cassy. I’ve told you before,” she says in mock anger.

Scott’s older, white-haired father hugs me after Scott shakes his hand. “Dylan,” he says, kissing me on the cheek.

“Mr. Hillman, thank you for having me,” I say, staring into his kind, blue eyes. Charles Hillman looks and acts so much like Scott, it’s uncanny. Well technically, I guess Scott looks and acts like him. They’re equally smart, nice, and handsome.

“This night is for your cause, dear. We are honored to have you here.”

I smile before I hear someone clearing his throat behind me. I turn towards the sound, confused. My mouth gapes open when I see my father standing right behind me. I jump backwards, almost knocking into Mr. and Mrs. Hillman.

“Daddy?!”
I yell in surprise. I put my hands over my mouth before I jump into his arms and hug him. I haven’t seen him in over six months. I can’t believe he’s here.

“Hey baby,” he says, hugging me back. “You look beautiful.”

“You look amazing! I can’t believe you’re in a tuxedo. What are you doing here?” I ask, trying not to cry and ruin my make-up. I release him and Scott immediately grabs my hand back.

“Scott flew me in on his plane.
Wanted me to be here for tonight.”

I look over at Scott, his smiling face full of emotion. “Thank you,” I whisper to him. He kisses my hand.

The ballroom doors open, revealing the sable walls and dim chandeliers behind them. Everything is accented in gold, even the flooring. Tables scatter the room, gold table cloths and flowers adorning each one. Even the utensils and plates are gold.

“Oh wow, it’s amazing,” I complement Mrs. Hillman. She thanks me as the crowd follows us into the ballroom.

We all get seated at our table, one in the very front of the ballroom, and I notice there are two seats still empty. I still have a few moments to catch up with my father before the guest speakers begin, and so I turn to talk to him. I’m so wrapped up in our conversation that I don’t realize two people have sat down in the empty seats until I hear a familiar voice.

“Hey, stranger.”

I turn my head quickly. I see Theresa and her husband Sean sitting at our table. Theresa looks beautiful, her dark skin more spectacular than I’ve ever seen. Her hair is sleek and pulled back, glimmering in the light. Her choice of dress is interesting, though- a very poufy gown of taffeta. Interesting, I guess marriage had caught up to Theresa and she was no longer interested in flaunting her figure.

“Theresa!
Oh my God!” I say, standing from my seat and walking over to hug her and Sean. When I sit back down I playfully slap Scott on the shoulder. “You are surprising me too much tonight! My heart can’t take it!”

Scott smiles at me, almost nervously. “Oh, I just want you to have a special night.”

Everyone continues to make conversation at the table over the most amazing steak dinner imaginable. I’m happy to hear that Sean is moving up so quickly in his firm and that Theresa is enjoying her internship. I decide not to tell her yet about my internship- I don’t want to ruin the night for them or me. So far, I’m having a great time and it is taking my mind off of everything.

The guest speakers begin shortly after dinner. All of them are wonderful and they range from an
expert in addiction, to recovered addicts, and family members of people who struggle with addiction. After the last speaker- a heroin addict who has been clean twenty years- the orchestra begins to play and some guests make their way to the dance floor.

Scott holds his hand out to me as he stands, inviting me to dance with hi
m. I tell my Dad and Theresa I’ll talk to them later and walk out to the middle of the floor with him. He begins to dance with me, starting to waltz without missing a beat. I’m just glad I learned enough in seventh grade gym class to not embarrass myself.

“You’re a wonderful dancer,” I say, staring into his bright blue eyes.

He smiles down at me. “You make it easy for me.” I shake my head at him. He’d lie himself to death if it meant making me feel better. I’ve already stepped on his feet twice.

As we continue to stare at each other, I notice his forehead begin to bead. I look at him, concerned. It’s not hot in here by any means and we’re not moving too fast to break a sweat. “Are you okay, honey? Do you
feel alright?” I ask him.

He clears his throat, removing his hand from mine for only a moment to reach in his pocket for his handkerchief. After he wipes his forehead, we continue dancing. “I’m fine,” he says, giving me an encouraging smile. I let it go.

Time goes by slowly. One song blends easily into another. I’m so happy in this moment that I hope the night never ends. I feel like a princess in the arms of a prince. Everything is so simple and normal in this perfect bubble. I’m surrounded by my family and best of friends, dancing with a wonderful man who loves me. There’s no stress, no tears, and no heartache. It’s so effortless.

I begin to realize that I
haven’t thought of Jeremy once in the last three or four hours. That is an amazing record for me. I sigh and smile in amazement. I’m so proud of myself. I almost think that maybe I can actually move on from him. Maybe my life can always be this wonderful, wrapped in a perfect bundle and tied with a bow. This is a life most women dream about, and I should be thankful I’ve found it. I am thankful I found it.

But then, Scott suddenly pulls away from me, stopping my thoughts and snapping me back to reality. He walks towards the stage where the orchestra is playing and reaches onto it, grabbing a microphone.

The orchestra stops playing. I’m frozen in the middle of the floor as the rest of the crowd circles around me. I’m looking around at everyone like a deer in headlights. I had gotten a little more used to having attention on me when I was with Jeremy, but not like this. This is torture. My pulse begins to race as I start backing away to stand with the rest of the guests.

“Wait, Dylan,” Scott says, his voice booming over the speakers.
Oh my God. Well, this is strangely familiar…

He holds his hand out towards me and I walk up and grab
it. A few people “aw” at us. I look into his eyes, and he’s afraid and awestruck at the same time. I look to my left and see my Dad and Theresa holding hands and smiling widely.

Okay…

“Dylan,” Scott says, making me focus my attention back on him. “We have a really beautiful history. It’s definitely not a simple history, but special all the same. I loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. I knew right away that I’d never find your equal and that I never wanted to. You’ve had my heart, my mind, and my love from that moment.” He lets go of my hand and drops to his knee. He digs into his pocket and produces a red, velvet box. I gasp, my face paling immediately.

He opens the box and a gorgeous, sparkling ring appears. “And I want you to know that you will always
have them. Will you, Dylan Ackhart, do me the amazing honor of being my wife?”

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Oh no….oh no…

I’m stunned into silence. I’m sure I look utterly ridiculous to everyone, but I can’t seem to get my mouth to close. My body begins to shake. Scott must take my reaction as stunned, happy silence because he smiles widely at me and puts the microphone on the floor. He grabs my left hand and slides the ring onto my finger. I hold it up to my face. The ring is so big; it almost comes up to my knuckle.

The room breaks into thunderous applause. It almost shocks me into reality, but before I can respond, Scott wraps me tightly in his arms. I feel tears falling onto my neck from where Scott is resting his head. By the time the cameras start flashing, I’m already hyperventilating.

Scott pulls away from me instantly. “Are you okay baby?”

“I just…” I say, as another light flashes in my face. “I need some air! Please!” I scream desperately. I glance at my Dad and Theresa and see their nervous expressions. Scott grabs my hand and waves to the crowd graciously as he walks me out of the room and through the doorway.
I let go of his hand and run through the lobby and out of the front door, leaning back against the glass after it shuts. Scott opens the doors on the far side of me and steps through. He walks casually over towards me and stops when he sees the sheer panic on my face.

I take long gasps of the cool air, trying to get my heart to slow and my lungs to loosen.
I feel the weight of the ring on my finger- a completely new sensation. It’s freaking me out. I’m trying not to think about it, but there it is- a 5 carat ring on my ring finger.
Am I engaged?
Is that what just happened in there?
I slide to the sidewalk because my knees can no longer support my weight. I stare unfocused out towards the street.

“God, Dylan. Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Scott says, kneeling beside me. “You’re white as a ghost. Did I say something wrong? Did you…
did you not want to get married?”