Trigger (5 page)

“I’m magic. I won’t bump into anything. You’re safe
with me.”

“Thanks.”

He laughs but he’s not making fun of her. The music
stops and he drops his arm from her back and let’s go of her
hand.

“Now what?”

“The man should escort you back to your seat.” He
holds out his arm and waits.

“What?”

He takes her hand, pulls it around his bicep and
rests it on his forearm. He starts walking toward the lunch table.
She feels like she’s holding onto him, but because it’s Steven it
doesn’t feel uncomfortable. Steven let’s her go and holds her hand,
while she sits down. Very . . . civilized. “That’s it?”

He grins down at her. “That’s it. But you need more
practice.”

He signals to the guys. She’d forgotten they were
there. They all run over and surround her.

“One at a time, gentlemen, Jake you’re first,”
Steven orders

What?

Jake is tall and skinny and at least three years
younger than she is. We say hello and goodbye and make comments to
each other about our workouts, but she’s never actually talked to
him before.

“May I have this dance?” He says and shoots an eye
to Steven.

She doesn’t want to dance with him, but Steven’s
watching. She puts her hand in his, he jerks her up and she’s
slammed against his chest.

“Are you a cave man, Jake? Why don’t you just throw
her over your shoulder and carry her off!” Steven yells at him.

“Sorry.” He says and looks at Steven.

“Don’t apologize to me. Judy is the one that just
got jerked around.”

“Sorry.” Jake blushes and releases some of the
pressure on her hand. She didn’t want to say anything to show
weakness with the guys but she’s relieved. He’d squeezed so hard
its dead white.

Instead of taking hold of her like Steven did, he
takes both her arms and puts them around his neck and then pulls
her hard with his hands on her butt and she’s flush against him.
She feels him all over her. She throws him to the ground and puts
her foot on his neck. “Back off, asshole!”

“Next.” Steven yells out.

Clarence is black and huge. She’s watched him for
years, getting bigger and stronger. His arms are bigger than her
butt. He could crush her in a second and Steven made her take her
gun off?

“May I have this dance?” His voice is musical and
soft.

She puts her hand in his, glances at Steven to make
sure he’s nearby and watching.

Clarence’s hand is soft and warm and he holds hers
gently. He walks her slowly to the center of the gym, turns her
wide until she’s facing him and takes hold of her like Steven did.
He’s at least six foot seven and it’s hard to look up at him even
with her at five foot ten, but boy can he move. She’s really moving
and they’re flying around the room. Once he holds her hand above
her head and made her whirl in a circle like a ballerina and then
brought her back to the way it was before.

“Am I doing okay?”

“Judy, you are beautiful. It’s a real pleasure to
dance with you.”

“Thanks. What do you do when you’re not working out
or dancing,” she laughs and realizes that she’s having fun.

“I’m an accountant. I have my own firm.”

“That’s wonderful. Are you married? Do you have
children?”

“Elise and I have been married for eighteen years.
We have three children.”

He talks about his kids and his face lights up. He’s
interesting and before she knows it the music stops. He doesn’t
offer his arm, but keeps her hand and walks her back to the
chair.

“Thank you for a wonderful dance, Judy.” He smiles
and his face is sweet and gentle. She doesn’t know why she’s ever
been wary of him. She could be friends with Clarence, even if he is
a man – a very, very big man.

“Next!” Steven yells out and Jeremy approaches
her.

“May I have this dance?” He grins and holds out his
hand.

Again protocol, she puts her hand in his. His hand
is small. Hers is larger. Jeremy is also about five inches shorter
than she is and it feels like she’s draped over him. His face is in
her boobs. He’s standing about a foot away and takes jerky steps.
Side to side, front to back over and over, it’s uncomfortable. She
can’t see his face, only the top of his head and it’s hard to have
a conversation. So she doesn’t say anything.

After a few minutes, Steven walks over and taps him
on the shoulder.

“May I cut in?”

Jeremy let’s go of her and backs away as Steven
takes hold of her. It feels like coming home.

“How am I doing?”

“You’re a natural, just like you are with everything
you do. I would like to offer a little fatherly advice now.”

“Oh don’t say that!” She feels her eyes tear and
it’s so wrong but she can’t stop. She wants to run away from him,
but he won’t let go.

“What?”

“You’re not my Dad, thank God. Don’t say that, I
don’t want to hurt you.”

“Okay, I don’t want you to hurt me either. I just
wanted to tell you that you don’t have to dance with anyone you
don’t want to. It’s acceptable to decline an invitation to dance.
If are you dancing with someone and you don’t want to anymore, stop
and say something nice like you think you’re shoes are hurting your
feet and you want to sit down. Or something like that and walk
away.

“The rules on the dance floor are the same as on the
street, but a little more sophisticated. You still don’t have to do
anything you don’t want to. Understand?”

She nods. “Charlotte wanted me to be escorted but I
wouldn’t do it. I think maybe I was wrong. Will you go with me to
this thing tonight? I’ll pay. It’s a thousand dollars a plate.”

The crease between his eyes is really deep this
time.

“I have a date tonight after work. I promised. Thank
you for asking me I appreciate the compliment. Maybe next time?” He
smiles but now he looks uncomfortable.

“Okay. I like dancing with you, but I don’t think
I’m going to dance at all tonight. It’s too complicated and I’ll be
there to work anyway. Maybe you and I could go dancing again
sometime? For fun?”

“Sure. That would be great.” She’s not sure but she
thinks he blushes. Not as much as Charles. She feels like she
should make up for being so forward. “How old are you?”

“Thirty-two.”

“Are you married?”

“Was. Not any more.”

“Do you have children?”

“A daughter, Amy is three. She lives with her mother
in California. I don’t get to see her very much.”

“Are you a good Dad or a bad one?”

Steven stops dancing, drops his hands and steps away
from her. “What do you mean, Judy?”

“I mean do you beat her and don’t give her any food
or do you kiss her good night and take her to McDonald’s?”

“McDonald’s Happy Meals. But don’t tell my ex
because she’s all for organic and vegetarian.”

“I knew you weren’t like the others. Thank you for
helping me but that doesn’t mean I won’t still kick your ass if I
get a chance. I have to go. I’ll be back about seven. Is that
okay?”

“Sure. I’ll be here.”

“Thanks guys. That was fun.” Picking up her gun off
the table, she’s out the door and running to Big Boy. She’s
miserable. She’s broken her most Sacred Rule: Never touch a man,
who’s not Gerry or Franklin unless is a business handshake.

They’ll claim your body and soul if they touch you.
Warriors by nature, men battle because they like to war. They
believe it is their right to hurt, maim and kill and love doesn’t
mean the same to them as it does a woman.

Many times he’s seen her Dad hold her Mom and say
he’s sorry he hurt her and that he can’t understand why he did.
Minutes later he’s bashing her lovely face with his fists. I’ve
seen his eyes and the eyes of my brothers as they watch and enjoy
Dad tearing her body apart. It as if they don’t think she feels
pain and sometimes I see them enjoy watching her blood spill and
her face swell.

There is no logic that applies to men other that to
battle is their fun, winning is primal and women are their favorite
prey.

Gerry and Franklin are okay because they’re not like
most men. Their battles have been fought and put away. They don’t
need or want them anymore. I recognize that and I allow myself to
be somewhat trusting of them.

And then there’s Steven. He’s man enough that he
doesn’t need to battle. He’s been her trainer for years. She sure
he’s probably touched her everywhere on her body one time or
another. But she’s his customer. She pays him to make her strong,
so she can survive the battle when it finds her again and it will.
If he has to touch her to do that, then that’s not breaking the
rules.

Today – the dancing lesson – was different and
didn’t fit into any of her rules categories, but more unsettling
was that she enjoyed being close to him dancing. She should not
have enjoyed him touching her. That is definitely breaking the
rules.

She’s driving and crying from frustration. “I’m the
boss aren’t I BB? I shouldn’t have to go through all this. It’s
just not necessary. I have a good business and I take care of it
and my employees really well. That should be enough. This stupid
stuff takes up time and money and you just wait it’s going to be a
nightmare and I’m going to end up on the bottom of the pile.

“And now I have to sit still and have a woman play
with my hair. Yuck. It’s building up, isn’t it? It’s going to be a
disaster.” BB understands and he patiently let’s her cry out her
frustrations until she makes herself stop, then tells the GPS the
address of the hair place and the very sweet voice, that sounds
like her Mom talks to her the whole way.

“Where’s Steven?” She’s carrying her dress in a long
plastic white bag and hanging onto to her shoes and panty hose
bags.

“He’s been in his office since you left, Judy. I’ll
tell him you’re here. Your hair looks nice.”

“Thanks Clarence. I have to be there by eight. I’ll
get dressed and get out of the way.”

“No problem. This is my oldest son, John. He works
out with me in the evenings.” She walks over to meet him. He looks
about fifteen or so and very much like his Dad. He’s taller than
Judy already.

“Glad to meet you, John. Your Dad helped me to learn
to dance today. He’s a very good dancer.” She smiles. He
doesn’t.

Opening the door the women’s locker room John’s
voice says he’s going to tell his Mom. She couldn’t be upset with
her or Clarence could she? Another reason she doesn’t touch men.
She doesn’t make trouble. Rule Number Two.

It’s been nearly two days, since she’s cleaned up.
She feels and looks filthy and scrubs hard, trying to wash away the
memory of her Mom’s face, the terrifying night run, and Simon’s
threats to her business. He’ll be at this thing and she’ll have to
talk to him. It’s unsettling that she’s excited and angry at the
same time.

Finished dressing, the image in the mirror startles
her. It takes her a few seconds to recognize herself. “What do you
think?” The mirror says that she’ll do. Busting through the door
with her now heavy training case over her shoulder, she hears a
gasp or two and a moan from Jeremy.

“What?” Five guys and the two girls, who are younger
than her, are staring. She quickly looks around for Steven and
finds him in the shadows outside his office. He has an odd
expression on his face and his feet are headed straight for her.
She holds his eyes and hope they’re not going to be
disapproving.

He stops in front of her, takes the heavy black bag
off her shoulder. “Walk to the center of the room and turn
around.”

“Seriously? Maybe I should take some of your
business cards and pass them around tonight.” She laughs. That’s
really not a bad idea. Maybe she could get him some more customers
to pay him for helping her be an idiot.

“Move,” he orders and she sees the beginning of his
crease. Talking off with her usual pace, he yells, “Slower, you
aren’t in a race.”

Slowing down, she’s bashed again, “Slower. Relax
your arms and take shorter steps.”

Doing what he says makes her sway a little. It feels
good in this dress and her shoes don’t make so much noise. She
turns and looks at him. “And?”

“Walk back.”

She walks slow and holds his eyes to see if he’s
pleased that she can follow orders that make sense. He’s smiling so
she smiles back.

In heels she’s almost able to look him directly into
his eyes. She likes that.

“Don’t walk any faster than that all night.” His
voice sounds rough. He clears it when she stops in front of him.
“You’re breathtaking, Judy. Maybe you should wear your gun.”

Steven doesn’t laugh, but everyone else does.

“I am.” She pulls up her dress and shows him the
thigh strap. “See.”

He’s laughing like she’s never heard him before. It
sounds good but then he takes her by the shoulders and turns her
around so everyone can see. “This is the perfect woman, folks. Come
on, I’ll walk you to your car. I don’t want any trouble in the
parking lot.”

“You look beautiful, Judy. You’re going to knock
them dead.” Clarence says as we walk by. His sweet smile feels
good.

“Is that a good thing, Clarence?”

“As long as you keep your gun close, girl.”

When we go through the outside doors, Steven looks
around the parking lot and then takes her hand. She’s never allowed
anyone to hold her hand. But this is Steven who’s holding it. It
tingles. He puts her bag in the trunk and before he closes her door
he leans in.

“Be yourself, Judy. Some of the people you meeting
tonight will be snotty and jealous of how beautiful and smart you
are. Remember what I taught you about holding your own and not
backing down. Don’t confront, best them, right? I checked this
event out on the internet and you’ll have to go through metal
detectors, because the governor will be there. Maybe you should
leave your gun in the car.”