Trouble & the Wallflower (8 page)

Gavin couldn’t get through this as he did other things. He couldn’t drink and go out with the boys and hook up with random guys and expect everything to be better in the morning. That was impossible. He’d have to sleep through half of Seattle to numb himself to this. He hadn’t even had it in him to do more than make out with the guy at the party. The guy had tried for more, but Gavin left him with his number and an apology, blaming it on whiskey dick.

He was not himself and he knew it. He didn’t want to dump this on Ray either. He was trying to put on a brave face. If Ray could be brave about dying, then Gavin could be brave about seeing him through to the end. Ray deserved that. Not like his piece-of-shit daughter would drag her sorry ass around to help out.

Gavin couldn’t let himself think about his mother right now, though. Thinking about Carmen Walker would make him officially lose his shit, and he didn’t have time. He had Ray, and a friendship that had become important to him all quickly slipping away at the same time. He had to get his head in the game.

He remembered he needed to call Nate. Sean said Nate had talked to Davy before he left. Nate was the one who told Sean Davy’d taken the bus. Gavin remembered how disappointed he’d been when he ditched the guy on the beach and just wanted five more minutes of silent comfort from Davy, only to find he’d gone. He was surprised Davy hadn’t even tried to find him to say good-bye. It was all so confusing.

His turn finally came up and he placed his order. While he waited for the vendor to top his brat with cream cheese and grilled onions, he dialed Nate’s cell. He’d been avoiding it until the last minute. Nate had been weird lately too, so he’d hoped Davy would come around before he had to call in Nate’s assistance. Nate answered right as the vendor handed Gavin his bratwurst in exchange for a ten-dollar bill, keep the change.

“Nate-dawg, what’s up?”

“Oh. Hey, Gavin. How’s it going?”

“I asked first.” He stared longingly at his lunch and prayed Nate wouldn’t drag this on in the bitchy way he tended to do when Gavin needed something.

“I’m good. We’re at the yacht club down in Tacoma.”

Gavin rolled his eyes. One reason he’d never be very close to Nate was the guy’s pompous way of mentioning his family’s money all the time. Gavin didn’t think it was consciously done, but that almost made it worse. Gavin knew his family wasn’t hurting for anything thanks to his gramps investing well and money from his grandmother’s side of the family. In fact, Gavin’s trust fund probably looked better than Nate’s. He just didn’t spend his like Nate did. He’d take Vans and American Eagle jeans any day. But Nate, Nate only wore Ralph Lauren and the like. It was obnoxious. But he wasn’t all bad, so Gavin hoped he could appeal to his softer side today.

“That’s cool.” Gavin walked back to his truck and jumped in, then laid his lunch on the armrest. “So, I have a question.” He could have sworn he heard an unpleasant “Of course you do,” but he chose to ignore it. “So you saw Davy before he left the party the other night, right?”

“Yes, Gavin. What about it?”

Gavin pulled the phone back and looked at it for a second.
Rude, much?
“Did he seem okay? He’s been weird lately, and I wondered if somebody had said something to him or something.”

Nate huffed into the phone. Gavin was beginning to wonder if there was some secret We Hate Gavin Club meeting behind his back. He wouldn’t be surprised with Nate, though. They’d had a couple run-ins over Nate’s one-sided crush on Gavin. Gavin had never even pretended there was a hope for any kind of relationship with Nate, or anyone, for that matter. He figured his obvious concern for Davy was probably rubbing Nate the wrong way, but he didn’t know what he could do about it. After a minute listening to shuffling and some muffled speaking on the other end of the line, Nate finally came back.

“Dude, why haven’t you tried, I don’t know, asking
him
?”

“Because that’d only get me so far with him. Dude, you know he’s not one to talk about his problems.”

Nate huffed again. Gavin considered throwing his phone but that wouldn’t make him feel any better and wouldn’t get him any closer to whatever Nate knew. “Nate, c’mon. Did he say anything weird before he left?”

“Look, Gavin. All I know is he looked pretty crushed when you walked off to hook up with that dude at the party. I’d almost talked him into staying or at least waiting for a ride until he saw you guys wander off.”

Gavin grimaced. How’d he not even consider that?

“I thought you guys were just friends, anyway.”
Oh yeah. That’s why.

“We are. I don’t know why it’d bother him.”

“Well it did. Bad. Are we done here?”

“Yeah. Sure. Thanks a lot, Nate.”

Nate didn’t hear the thanks, though. He’d already ended the call. Gavin didn’t have the energy to deal with that now. He was too busy reeling from the idea that Davy may have actually been interested in him, and he may have fucked it up, yet again. He could handle Davy not wanting him and being his friend, but he couldn’t handle not having Davy around at all because they were both suffering from what they thought were unrequited feelings. He was horrified to try anything, though. He wasn’t exactly relationship material, and they were about as compatible in that department as oil and water. All he knew was that he needed to tread carefully if he didn’t want to lose Davy for good. And for some reason, he knew he couldn’t handle that.

G
AVIN
TOOK
a deep breath and held his fist up to knock. Davy was on the other side of that door, and everything in Gavin was being pulled toward the man. He didn’t understand it—the need that made his stomach cramp with nerves. It was that feeling that made him want to turn and run the other way, leaving Davy to think the worst of him so they could fade out of each other’s lives. But even the thought of that made Gavin’s heart thud with misery.

He’d driven around for twenty minutes before deciding to drive over to Davy’s apartment. In the end, something in his gut wouldn’t let him not go. So he’d made the trip up to Davy’s door on the fourth floor, where he’d paced the halls after his first two aborted attempts to knock on the door.

He’d never chased after someone, certainly not a friend. He didn’t feel the need to explain himself to anyone, but the idea that he’d hurt Davy didn’t sit well with him. He didn’t have a damn clue what to say, though. Charm would never work on Davy. The guy seemed immune to all of Gavin’s usual tricks.

Man up, loser.
He took a deep breath and finally knocked. He waited for a moment and heard no movement on the other side of the door. He considered knocking again, then considered leaving. Davy might not even be home. Hell, Gavin could have had the wrong apartment. He’d only dropped Davy off once or twice but he’d never been inside. He’d had to look at the mailboxes in the lobby for Cooper and hoped he had the right one.

When the door cracked open, Gavin exhaled in relief as Davy’s familiar blue eyes blinked through the opening and he swung the door wider. “Gavin? What are you doing here?”

Gavin held up a six-pack. “I come bearing gifts.”

Davy looked mildly put out. “You guys are seriously trying to give me a drinking problem.”

Gavin shrugged. “What can I say? We like to share the love.” Davy’s face went stone-solid at that, making Gavin wince. “Bad choice of words.” Davy stared. “Can I come in?”

Davy looked as though he wanted to say no, but manners obviously won over agitation and he opened the door all the way, gesturing with a sweep of his hand for Gavin to enter.

Gavin wandered in, taking in his surroundings. The studio was simple. A daybed that doubled as a couch sat against one wall. An entertainment center and coffee table were the only other furniture. There was nothing on the walls. It felt more like a hotel room than an apartment. Gavin imagined there were jail cells with more personality.

Davy gathered notebooks and his laptop up off the couch. “Here. Have a seat.” After placing his burden on the coffee table, Davy wandered into the small kitchen that took up half of the floor space and retrieved a glass. “Do you want a glass for your beer?” He was still distant, but the hospitable offer gave Gavin a small seed of hope.

“You pour your beer in a glass?” Gavin teased. Davy scowled. Okay, no teasing. “No thanks.” He set the six-pack down next to the couch and handed a beer over to Davy before taking a seat.

Davy just looked down at it for a moment. He set it on the kitchen counter, then turned to Gavin with a wariness in his eyes that made Gavin want to weep.

“What do you want, Gavin?”

And wasn’t that the million-dollar question? “I guess the better question is what do
you
want, Davy?”

“What does that mean?”

Defensive. Great.

Gavin held his hands up in front of him. “Hey, I don’t mean anything by it, Davy.” Davy crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at his feet. “I thought we were cool, though—friends, even. But Nate tells me you got upset that I was hanging out with that guy at the beach.”

Davy scowled at his feet, then met Gavin’s eyes defiantly. “Maybe I just think you’re better than that. Guess I’m just naïve.”

The admission made Gavin’s heart flutter. Was Davy saying that he cared, or was it just a friend wanting better for a friend? And why in the hell did Gavin want it to be the former so badly?

“That means a lot, Davy.” Davy scoffed and Gavin jumped up and crossed the room to Davy. Both hands on Davy’s shoulders, looking into soulful blue eyes that widened a bit at the closeness, Gavin said, “Honestly. It does. Mean a helluva lot.”

Davy’s gaze never wavered. That intense appraisal was unnerving. It seemed uncharacteristic of Davy. He seemed to have found something he didn’t want to back down from. If only he’d—

Davy swooped in and claimed Gavin’s mouth in a fierce kiss.
Holy wow!
The move was… unexpected. But damn were those pillowy lips warm and inviting. Gavin refused to pass up this moment of insanity Davy was suffering from. He wrapped his hand around Davy’s neck and carded his fingers through Davy’s soft hair. Davy grasped at Gavin’s shirt and pulled him closer. Davy was breathing heavily as he opened his mouth to Gavin’s seeking tongue. When their tongues met, Gavin sighed. Davy tasted like peppermints and something undeniably male. Gavin’s whole body responded to the slide of their tongues. They were both grunting as they pressed their hips together and rocked into each other, cocks straining against fabric. Davy made such erotic mewling sounds in the back of his throat. Those sounds were enough to make Gavin weak in the knees.

As quickly as he’d started the kiss, Davy pulled back. He seemed as shocked at his actions as Gavin. Gavin didn’t want him to stop. Ever.

“Davy?” Gavin’s voice was rough to his own ears. Davy’s lips looked damn good swollen from kissing. Davy placed his palm against Gavin’s face and ran his thumb over Gavin’s bottom lip. A shudder ran through Gavin’s body and his cock ached for some skin.
Davy’s skin, please!

Watching the emotions play over Davy’s face was confusing. Gavin wasn’t sure whether he should step back and give the guy space or not. Much as he didn’t want to, it was Davy’s call. “Davy? What are we doing?” Fuck. His voice was shaking.

The question seemed to make up Davy’s mind. He didn’t speak and moved back in for another breathtaking kiss.

D
AVY
WASN
’
T
exactly sure what in the hell had come over him. He’d felt such a strong urge to claim Gavin. The thought of Gavin continuously giving himself to other people when Davy was right here threatened to eat him alive. It was horrifying and he knew he should be totally mortified at his actions, but fuck if he could make himself give a shit in that moment.

He’d almost not answered the door earlier. He never had guests, so he honestly thought the knock had been on someone else’s door. Something in him felt Gavin’s presence, though. He wasn’t sure why he’d developed a sixth sense where Gavin was concerned. He tried so hard to ignore it. He didn’t want Gavin coming into his apartment. He didn’t want Gavin’s beer. He wanted to just be angry and for Gavin to go away.

Why did he keep showing up? And why couldn’t Davy ignore him?

That shaking voice, Gavin’s fight to restrain himself for Davy’s sake, had sealed the deal. No way could he deny it anymore. He wanted Gavin.
Wanted
him. Wanting Gavin was stupid. Getting involved with him was reckless. He acted like the idiots who had fucked Davy over on the rare occasions he’d given in to the need to try the dating thing. He had no faith being with Gavin would end any better, and he didn’t want to lose Gavin as a friend, but he couldn’t deny that the last week had been hell. And he needed that kiss. He melted with that kiss.

Davy put both of his hands on Gavin’s smooth face as their tongues danced together. It was probably the best kiss Davy ever had. The things Gavin could do with his mouth were mind-numbing. Their mouths together were hot, wet, and demanding. They fought a battle for dominance, but Davy eventually gave in to Gavin’s wicked probing tongue. His head was swimming from the smell of Gavin’s cigarettes and cologne. He felt high.