True North (24 page)

It suddenly felt like the floor had fallen out from below me.

Colt stood up with a caution in his eyes. “Hey there, Dillon.”

I was always scared of my dad when he looked like this. There was a fury in his expression that was dangerous and combustible—like he was a ticking time bomb and one wrong word or action would set him off. He’d never hit me before, but I lived in terror of it. He’d hit Nate a few times.

“
Colt, I don’t want any trouble with you,” my dad started.

Jake took my hand as if to remind me I was okay.

“
Neither do I, Dillon,” Colt assured. “What can I help you with?”

Nate spoke up from behind my dad. “I’m terribly sorry, Mr. North—”

My dad held up his hand, and Nate stopped in mid-sentence.

“
I’m here to bring Olivia home.” Every word my dad said sounded measured.

“
We are her home, sir,” Jake explained in a respectful tone.

Suzanne suggested, “We just finished our meal, but there are plenty of leftovers. We’d be glad to make you a plate if you’d like to stay for a while.”

“
No disrespect meant, Suzanne, but I have some personal family matters to take care of with my daughter.”

I stood up slowly. The feelings of fear and embarrassment created a strange mind-bending experience I wasn’t sure how to handle. “Dad, I’m going to stay here with Jake. If you want to talk though, I’m sure we could use one of the other rooms for privacy.”

“
So this is what I get after raising you alone your whole life? A snub and disrespect?”

“
I don’t mean any disrespect, Daddy.” Damn it, now I sounded like a frightened little girl.

Jake came up beside me. “Mr. Morrissey, it looks like you’ve had a bit to drink, and I think Olivia would feel more comfortable once you’ve sobered up.”

“
Don’t you tell me about my daughter,” Dad seethed. “And get your hand off of her!” he snapped.

“
Dad, what are you doing?” I hissed.

Nate shook his head with an expression that looked like he wanted to melt into the carpet.

“
The question is, what are you doing?” my dad continued. “I didn’t raise you to be a little slut.”

A jolt of shock went through me at his words. I couldn’t speak.

Jake stepped in front of me like a shield. “Mr. Morrisey, that’s unacceptable.”

My dad shoved his finger in Jake’s face. “I served in the Gulf War, you worthless rat. I did my time and dealt with it like any other soldier … I know about your dishonorable discharge,” he snarled with disdain.

“
I was let out under an Other than Honorable—” Jake began.

“
It’s the same thing. You’re a disgrace, and I’m not having my daughter be any part of your life.”

“
DAD!”
I cried.

“
I tried to stop him,” Nate finally spoke up.

My dad turned and backhanded him.

I jolted at the sight. I wanted to rush over to him, but Colt, Caleb and Josh all moved forward first.

“
It’s time for you to leave, Dillon,” Colt said evenly.

“
I’m not going anywhere without my daughter!” he shouted.

“
She’s not leaving!” Jake’s voice shook.

I was shell-shocked. What the hell was I supposed to do? He’d called me a slut and my boyfriend a rat and a disgrace. He’d just hit Nate and was obviously shit-faced. My insides quaked with nervous indecision. Even after everything, he was still my dad.

“
Jake and I are leaving tomorrow morning,” I heard myself say, groping for a way to extinguish the charge.

“
I know all about you quitting school to go live like a gypsy whore with this guy. That’s going to happen over my dead body,” Dad challenged.

“
This conversation is finished. Get out or I’ll throw you out,” Colt warned.

“
You’re coming with me, Olivia,” Dad growled. Unless you’re telling me you don’t care anything about my opinion and you don’t actually love me.”

I could feel the manipulation rising from him like heat off a sidewalk in the middle of July. I could almost see the wavy transparency rippling.

“
Show me you’re not like your mother.”

My resolve crumpled. It was as if he’d hit a nail on its head. Like a nail into a coffin …

“
Okay, Dad, I’ll come talk with you,” I conceded.

“
Livie,”—Jake whirled around to catch my eyes—“you don’t have to go anywhere.”

“
He’s my dad. What else am I supposed to do?” All the air had gone out of my lungs, and I felt a crushing pressure there, like a diver descending into the furthest depths.

“
I’m coming with you,” Jake demanded.

“
You’re not coming within ten feet of my daughter, you worthless piece of shit!”

“
Dad, stop!” Nate grabbed Dad’s arm.

“
You turned my girl into a slut!” my dad raged.

Jake stepped forward. His fist came across my dad’s nose with a horrible crack that threw him to the floor.

“
NO! STOP!” I leaped in front of my dad. “Please!” I pleaded with Jake. I hoped he could read my eyes. That I didn’t know what to do.

All I need is a quiet moment to think!

“
Livie, come up to my room and let them handle this,” Jules offered.

Show me you’re not like your mother.

“
I’ll go with you. We’ll talk,” I said.

Jake started to protest, but I interrupted him. “I need to do this.”

Did I owe my dad anything?

Jake dragged me by the arm towards the hall for some privacy. “He’s drunk and violent. You have no business being around that kind of volatile behavior.”

“
He’s never hurt me before.”

“
He just backhanded your brother in front of all of us!” Jake’s voice cracked.

I closed my eyes to try and get a grip on the situation. “I’m sorry what he said about you. It’s not true,” I reminded him.

“
I know that!” he verified. “But he has no business calling you names, not you, not ever—he’s using you for whatever psychological game he’s playing, Liv, and I don’t think it’s the right move for you to engage.”

How could my dad twist me up like this—make me feel like I had to prove to him that I loved him. I knew the difference between healthy and dysfunctional love. Jake and I, we were healthy. We gave one hundred percent of ourselves to each other, we communicated openly and, yeah, sometimes we shouted, but we never called each other names, and we always worked to resolve the differences we faced. We respected ourselves and each other. Jake’s parents had been a really good example of the kind of relationship we wanted to emulate.

But he was, nevertheless, my dad. My only dad and the only actual family I had besides Nate. If I didn’t go with him, I had a feeling that this would be the end for us. Could I give up on him completely? Maybe I could still fix this. I
needed
to fix this.

“
I’ll be back,” I said decisively. And before Jake could protest, I added, “I’ll be fine. Nate will be with me.” And with that, I marched in front of everyone to the front door. I turned off my emotions … or maybe I just went numb, strode across the driveway and waited in Nate’s truck. My dad’s Impala was parked next to it, but I wasn’t about to get in the car with him while he was drunk as a skunk. Maybe after he slept off the booze he’d be better.

My phone was already buzzing, with texts from Jake no doubt. Nate and my dad emerged from the house and had another argument in front of the Impala. It was obvious Nate was trying to stop him from driving, but Dad shoved him and got behind the wheel anyway. I wondered if I should call the cops. Maybe he could and should sober up in the county lock-up. That would serve him right for coming and raining on my pretty parade.

Nate climbed into the driver’s seat, and the engine roared with the turn of his key. Billy Squire’s “Lonely is the Night” boomed through the speakers.

“
I tried to stop him, Liv! I swear to God I did,” Nate explained, peeling the tires across the black top at the corner.

“
So that’s why you never showed up for dinner,” I realized.

“
If you change your mind and don’t want to talk to him, just say the word and I’ll turn this truck around and bring you right back!” he promised.

“
I know you would.”

“
He’s been unbearable since you went to school. And instead of his normal not-here routine he’s been coming home and getting sloshed in front of the TV. I ended up getting my own place on Fifth. He’s worse than he’s ever been. I always expected a few hits as part of his nasty-ass norm, but he’s started coming home trying to really dish it out at me,” Nate explained.

“
What did you do?” This was making my heart hurt.

“
Took it. What the hell was I supposed to do? He’s my fucking father.”

“
You could have lit into him,” I whispered. I thought about Nate getting knocked around. He was a big guy and could have set my dad in his place in a heartbeat.

“
I’m not making excuses for him. The only difference I can see is that he’s losing the two of us. And when he had us doing what he wanted, he felt in control and now … he’s lost that.”

“
What does it matter?” I shrieked. “He was never around for us anyway!”

“
How do I know? I’m not a fucking shrink!”

I slid over the cab seat and rested my head on Nate’s big shoulder. I felt safe there.

“
I won’t leave you alone with him. Not like this, no way. So we’ll have to go through it together,” Nate qualified. “You leaving on this trip with Jake makes Dad feel completely out of control. He’s going to try to get you not to go.”

“
Yeah, I kinda saw that coming.” I lifted my head and watched the lights go past. “What do you think?”

“
You should go, of course! Get you out of my hair, for fuck’s sake!”

I laughed a little.

“
You deserve to be happy, and I think Jake’s one of the best guys on the planet. I totally approve.”

I closed my eyes. I wanted my family’s acceptance, and getting it from Nate meant the world to me. The idea of not getting it from my dad was still very unsettling.

“
Did Dad mean all those things he said about Jake? Not liking him and …” I couldn’t repeat it. “You know.”

“
Yeah, he does. He’s pissed about the discharge and is calling Jake’s overdose a suicide attempt. I think the only reason he didn’t throw that out at their house was ‘cause he didn’t want Colt breaking his face like he damned deserves. And I’m glad Jake did clock him when he called you those names.” He thought a moment as the song changed. In the quiet he said, “I’m just taking you back. There’s no way this can end well.”

“
I’ve come this far, Nathaniel! I’m going to deal with Dad,” I persuaded. “I can’t just leave tomorrow, knowing that he’d feel like I walked out on him, just like Mom. Nobody deserves that. Shit, that’s what started all this—imagine how much worse he’d be if I did that to him again. I need to at least
try
to fix this before I go, Nate.”

Nate didn’t look happy about it, but he didn’t turn around.

Chapter 21

“
Lonely is the Night”

Billy Squire

My dad stormed into the house like a tornado, knocking down anything he came in contact with. He slammed the bathroom door and locked it behind him.

“
Guess he’s going to attend to that bloody nose.” Nate smiled and grabbed a beer out of the fridge. “You want one?” he offered.

Yes.
“Not now.”

We listened to dad cursing from the bathroom. He stalked out with blood all over his face and hands.

“
Your mother fucking boyfriend broke my fucking nose! Snap it back in place, Nate,” he ordered then looked at me. “Not all of us can afford to go get medical help every time we need it.”

“
What’s that supposed to mean?” I charged back.

“
Exactly what it sounds like! If the Norths think they can just come in here and take everything from me, they’ve got another thing coming.”

At that moment I heard the bone snap. My dad bellowed while Nate smirked.

“
Dad, I love Jake.”

“
Then I guess it’s going to come down to who you love the most, Olivia,” he challenged.

“
I don’t know what you’re saying.” He couldn’t possibly want me to actually choose? “You were calling me some pretty horrific names back there. He was—”

“
Defending you? It was all a show of power for the little asshole,” he chided.

“
Excuse me, Jake is not an asshole, and if you could stop insulting us I could talk to you more rationally. But you’re infuriating me and you just embarrassed me beyond belief!” I reasoned.

“
I say it the way I see it,” he said, roughly wiping the blood from his face and hands onto a white towel. “And I forbid you to ever see Jake North again.”

My breath hitched into my lungs. I choked out, “I can’t believe you’re doing this and saying these things to me!”

“
Yeah, and I can’t believe you look and act just like your mom.”

I had to get away from him. I ran into my old room. He hadn’t changed it. I wondered if he kept it like this, hoping I’d come back to it, or if he really didn’t care either way and was just too wrapped up in his warped mind to bother with it.

I collapsed on my bed and realized I didn’t have Jake’s pillowcase to comfort me.
Fuck!

My phone was buzzing from inside my bag. He was worried. I took it out. I already had like fifty texts and I’d been gone less than half an hour. I couldn’t read through them now.