True North (19 page)

The most beautiful expression crossed his face, and he grinded into me as my walls remained tense and I felt his hardness pulse inside me.

A moment later he dropped to his elbow and kissed me. “Better than a thousand imaginings. I love you, Liv.”

“
I love you, Jake. I’ve always loved you.”

He held me securely in the crook of his arm as I traced the lines of the fire and smoke and me as his goddess and knew without doubt that he had always loved me back.

I woke up and stretched. I thought about opening my eyes and wondered, if I did would yesterday all have been some glorious dream? Instead, I let my hand feel around next to me. Okay, first good thing, I wasn’t in my own twin sized dorm bed.

Big sigh of relief, people!

But I also didn’t feel Jake. What my fingers did find was a piece of paper and my mp3 player. My heart soared at the prospect of another music message.

I opened my eyes and rolled over. The paper read, “Play me.” With an arrow pointing to the player. “Then flip.”

I put in the earbuds and pushed play. The music started. On the flip side of the paper were the lyrics to Crossfade’s “Invincible.”

I fell back into my pillow and savored each word. I was glad that I was the one who had broken through Jake’s invincibility.

“
Jake,” I called.

No response.

I wrapped the black silky sheet around me and skipped out into the living room. No Jake.

I went to the fridge. I laughed when I opened it. It was empty except for the leftover Chinese food from last night and custom beer.

“
I’m surprised he can survive on his own at all,” I murmured.

“
Me too.”

I screamed.

“
CHILL! It’s only me.” He started laughing.

“
Yeah funny.” I said, slapping him in the arm.

He leaned in and stole a kiss. “I needed to bring us sustenance. Fresh bagels, cream cheese, yogurt and fruit.” He set the bags on the kitchen table, eyed me and said, “I like your dress. Can I take it off?”

“
Two bites of nourishment and I’m all yours.” I winked as I ripped apart a sesame bagel and bit into the fleshy dough. “I loved the Crossfade song.”

A proud smile lit his face. “I meant every word. I don’t think I could survive this life without you.” He sliced a poppyseed bagel, snagged mine out of my hand, sliced it too and spread cream cheese over it. When I reached for it he ordered, “Wait!” He went to the cupboard and pulled out a bear-shaped bottle of honey and drizzled it over the bagels. “Now.” He picked up mine and held it to my lips.

“
You remembered my favorite kind,” I flirted.

“
I remember everything about you, Livie.” I took a bite of the bagel, and the honey and cream cheese, which he’d put way too much of on, smeared over my lips. My hand automatically lifted to clear the mess. But before I could manage it, Jake dropped the bagel back to the plate, grabbed my face in his hands and began licking my lips.

My breath quickened, and he used his lips and teeth to tug at each of my lips, cleaning them thoroughly.

I leaned into him and moaned, desire pooling between my legs.

“
Fuck breakfast.” He shoved the bags and plate onto the chair. “I can’t wait.”

He laid me back on the table and unwrapped the sheet like it was wrapping paper. As he looked over my already needy body, his gaze made me curl my hips.

He smiled deviously. “Ah … I got an idea from the other night when you were covered with paint.”

“
What’s that?”

“
That I’m going to have to find edible paints,” he said suggestively. “But until then …” He dipped his fingers in the blueberry yogurt and swirled it from my neck, down to my breasts and around the tips and over my belly.

“
Oh my God!”

“
Oh my, yes!” He came up over me and licked and lapped at the sweet yogurt he’d streaked on me like finger paints. By the time he was satisfied with his clean-up job on my nipples and breasts, I was crying out.

He was taking so long, savoring each swish of his tongue. In my own fire-alarm emergency I reached my fingers to my most burning, intimate place. When he saw what I was doing he stopped momentarily to watch.

Self-conscious, I stopped and blushed.

“
Don’t stop, I want to watch,” Jake almost begged.

I continued to put on the show, but embarrassment had me close to chickening out. I threw my arm over my head and eyes to shield my … freaked-out-ness. But I certainly wasn’t ashamed, and I wanted to please Jake in every way possible.

“
I’m going to fucking explode.” He took my hand and brought my wet fingers to his lips and sucked on each one. “Oh, God, you taste so sweet. It’s my turn now.” He lowered his mouth over me again and licked at the soaked, sensitive flesh until I was screaming his name, riding out another powerful climax.

“
Holy hell, that was one satisfying breakfast.” His voice was like low thunder as he quickly unfastened his belt and pants and kicked out of them, hoisted me off the table, and carried me until I felt the living room wall against my back.

I felt the pressure of his erection rubbing against my softness, looking for permission. I licked the salt from his neck and darted my tongue in and around his ear. He got my ass in his hands, maneuvered me just right, and speared his hardness inside of me all at once.

“
Fuck me!” I cried.

I didn’t mean to talk “dirty,” it was purely a reaction to his body in mine today—all pleasure, no pain. The sensation was mind-blowing.

He bucked his hips like his life depended on it and came with a shout.

When his body calmed he exclaimed with mock shock, “Olivia Josephine Morrisey!”

“
It just … slipped out!” I laughed.

“
I love my bad, good girl.” He kissed me tenderly, then carried me back to the table and wrapped me back up with the sheet. He set my plate back in front of me. “Now you may finish eating, Your Highness.”

Chapter 17

“
Savin’ Me”

Nickelback

The rest of the day was pure perfection. Jake called his family and spent over an hour talking to everyone, calming their fears and reassuring them of his safety. He talked to Nate about his intentions towards me and threw around the words forever and always. Nate was satisfied and told me he was happy the two of us were together. Most of the time while he was talking I was chatting it up with Jules from my cell in the bedroom. She told me she knew it all along, and that it had only been a matter of time. I told her she was full of shit, but that I loved her for it. She hadn’t mentioned Nate so I figured he was being … well, Nate.

“
Okay, gorgeous, do you have any homework?” Jake asked.

“
Oh shit!” I cried. “I have a math paper due tomorrow afternoon.”

“
Do you still suck at math?”

“
Yep. You still awesome at it?”

“
Yep. Get it out. I’ll help you with it.”

I got my backpack in a stupor.
I am staying at Jake’s apartment that he got specifically to be close to me, I have spent the weekend having the most incredible sex ever with Jake, and Jake and I are going to work on my homework assignment together.
And … it felt SO natural. Like it had always been like this and the lost pieces of a beloved puzzle had been found and put back together again.

We finished the math paper relatively quickly—as bad as it was, I let him do my homework for me. I paid in kisses, and it was so worth it. We made love again and again, and later ordered out for pizza and watched
Supernatural
.

“
It’s getting late. I should go back to the dorm,” I suggested.

“
Don’t go, stay with me.” Jake curled his arm around mine as if to anchor me. “I’ll get you to school on time in the morning then you can drive back when your classes are finished for the day.”

I had to play a little hard to get.
“Okay, I’ll stay.” So much for that first thought. His brown eyes did it to me every time.

“
Excellent decision.” He kissed me and then got up and went into the kitchen. “Do you want a beer?”

“
It’s almost ten o’clock, I’ll pass. I’ve got to get some sleep.”

“
Then I’ll pass too.” He came back, took my hand and we curled our bodies together under the blankets. “It’s been paradise having you here.”

“
Yeah it has,” I agreed.

********************

The sun bit into my eyes. I tried to find a shady area to stretch my legs, but the entire entrance was bathed in its relentless glow. I desperately wanted a cigarette. The guy next to me was smoking, and I stood closer just to pull some of it into my lungs. I’d never smoked a cigarette in my life, but now it seemed like a necessity.

What if I hadn’t forgotten that frigging textbook?

The crying wanted to start again. I’d been sobbing for hours. The pain in my heart threatened to swallow me whole. Jake’s family would be here any minute. They were flying the private jet in.

The agony threatened to annihilate me. I couldn’t think, couldn’t speak. Could only remember …

“
Hey, handsome, I let myself in,” I called out.

Jake had made a key for me last week. I spent most of my time at the apartment anyway.

It was around nine a.m. and I was in between classes. I’d slept at the dorm last night ‘cause I had an early exam. After class I realized I’d left my Lit book at Jake’s, along with my paper notes. I had to get it.

“
Jake?”

No reply. I wondered where he would have gone. Maybe he ran out of coffee. My text and papers were there on the coffee table in front of the sofa. I scooped them into my arms and wondered if maybe he was taking a shower. Jake always woke up early like me. We’d even gotten into the habit of running together in the mornings if I’d stayed over.

I walked through the bathroom and into the bedroom. Bed was an unmade disaster. It was unlike military Jake to leave it like that. But I shrugged it off and started to turn when something caught my eye—his foot on the floor sticking out from the other side of the bed.

“
Jake!” What the hell?

The closer I got, the more the reality of the situation in front of me came into a bizarre, tunnel-like focus. Jake was flat on his stomach, in only his briefs. Next to him were a bottle of vodka and an almost empty bottle of prescription medication. Some of the pills were strewn next to him, so there was no way to tell exactly how many he’d taken.

The air left my lungs and everything changed to black and white. In slow motion the book fell from my arms and the papers scattered over the floor around me. I dropped to my knees and crawled to his lifeless body.

“
JAKE!” I couldn’t tell if the sound came out or not, it was mute to my ears.

I turned him over and shook him. “WAKE UP!”

When that didn’t work I tried slapping his face. He didn’t rouse.

Please be breathing. Tears pooled in my eyes, obscuring my vision. I pushed them back with every bit of gritty determination I could gather and set my fingers at his artery to feel for a pulse.

I let loose a ragged breath. It was weak, but he was still alive.

911 reacted fast. I had to convince myself over and over again that I wasn’t dreaming—that this wasn’t a nightmare concocted by an evil imagination. But if it were and I woke up, I’d have been forever grateful because this, in real life, would certainly kill me.

The emergency response team spoke the words “overdose” and “suicide,” and I was sure I could hear my eyes blink. Everything was so loud now, so wrong. The world was distorted around me and I couldn’t find my footing.

“
Miss? Are you family?”

I managed to nod.

“
Do you have a car to follow us in?” The guy talking through the vortex was dressed in a blue uniform. “Or would you like to ride with us?”

“
I won’t leave him.” My voice was pained and hoarse.

“
Alright then.”

They laid him on the stretcher and strapped him in. He never moved on his own. I expected at any moment that his beautiful sparkling eyes, full of mischief and curiosity, would open and everything would go back to normal. They didn’t.

Hours later, they still hadn’t.

The guy with the cigarette left it half-finished, lying in the ashtray, and went back inside the emergency room. I vaguely wondered what horrible event had caused him to be here, but really my eye was on the burning cinder. How disgusting would it be to just pick it up and smoke it from where he left off?

“
Miss Morrisey?” The doctor had finally come into the waiting room a half hour after we arrived. “Are you immediate family?”

I didn’t know how much weight being his girlfriend would give me. “I’m his fiancé.”

“
Could I speak to you in private for a moment?”

“
Of course.”

He ushered me into a room off to the side of the waiting room. It was like a space for prayer. There were illuminated stained glass window-like features on the far side of the room with a dimly lit altar. White lilies decorated the aisles on either side. It gave me zero comfort, in fact it took away any semblance of strength I had. I wrapped my arms around my shoulders and pretended they were Jake’s.

If this son-of-a-bitch doctor brought me in here to tell me Jake had died I was going to lose it.

“
Your fiancé overdosed on his prescription medication. He mixed an anti-depressant and too many sleeping pills with alcohol, creating a very lethal toxin.”

He’s dead!
My mind tried to absorb and deflect simultaneously.

“
We’ve pumped the contents of his stomach and he’s in the ICU but is still unconscious,” he continued.