Truly Madly Deeply (6 page)

‘I came here

To shit and stink,

But all I do

Is sit and think.'

Rahul guessed this must have been another work of some great philosopher and not surprisingly someone had added his own thoughts to the intellectual's philosophy.

‘Some come here to sit and think,

Some come here to shit and stink,

But I come here to scratch my balls,

And read the bullshit on the walls.'

Rahul tried hard to stifle the laugh that came from within but ended up squealing a little in the manner of a child upon reading the lines of that rhymester. The seventh trip of the day to the loo had proved a bit refreshing and Rahul felt his stomach lighten a bit and settle down after some rumbling and grunting.

This graffiti business, he had thought, only took place in schools back in India until now. He remembered reading vulgar abuses in public toilets, second class compartments of Indian local trains and even in the gents' common room of schools. He remembered scribbling some abuses dedicated to his Physical Training teacher who had been the only teacher to have punished him until that day, and remained so forever till he completed his school. Naughty kids often ended up drawing their teachers on the toilet walls, as they saw them in their dreams, a fantasy having nothing to do with the subjects they learnt at school. Their artwork would be appraised by all those who used that particular spot for relieving themselves in the school's drainage system.

School! He thought as he zipped himself up and emerged out of the cubicle. School! The period of his life that brought him love and then snatched it away. School! He could think and think and never forget those moments of life he lived, never forget his growth from a boy to a man at sixteen. It was as if he had known her for a long, long time and before he knew her, he knew nothing because he felt he had not existed then, life had been absent. There was only one four-lettered word having precedence over life itself and it was LOVE. He wished for the knots in his throat to go away then, but he desired the same knots today even if it meant eyeing her beautiful face silently. As a poet had said, ‘let them those who seek God, find him but spare me a glance of my beloved, for that's all I seek.'.

Unconsciously, he rewound his watch, eyeing the hands go back at a furious speed. Each passing second begged to be released; each movement sparked a gathering thought. The thoughts carried him to his room and somewhere they led him to a leather bound diary hidden within his drawer beneath the mantle. He opened it in a sacrosanct manner. The ramblings in it were inviolable. His fingers found the pages themselves and turned them around to 30th of April of that particular year.

I love you as a valley loves

The river through its fields,

Or as a note upon a page

The music that it yields.

I love you as a hawk loves air,

Or a sailor loves the sea,

Or as a strong wave seeks the sand,

But ah! do you love me?

-I Love You as a Valley, Nicholas Gordon.

‘I held her hand for a long time today and it was almost electric, even better than the first time in the bus. Whoa! I was almost unwilling to let it slip from my grip. Am I sounding too excited? Ofcourse, I am. She's a 640 volt talking-walking, mind-fucking beauty. What do you expect from a mortal like me when fairies like her go around casting their spells? Oh, did I just say fairies? I'm sorry for using the plural. I could not think clearly for at least two minutes after touching her. The touch of her fingers still lingers, haha! That almost became poetry but I guess that's the way love is supposed to be—from what I have heard, turns even the dumbest of people into poets and I am too good to be dumb, so I would make a nice poet, I guess.

Hmmm… Love and me? Never thought this would happen but life has other plans I guess. It almost seems like what they show in the movies; the music in my head everytime she's around, the butterflies in my stomach when I try to converse with her, the entire world seems to slow down and pause when she looks at me, the electric current of her touch I just told you about... Oh, sorry! She's like petrol if I'm the vehicle, makes me run once I start about her.

I am still shivering from that touch. God! Ok, Ok, let me go slow and get to that part when it arrives. Control for now!

As I said yesterday, it was result time today and I was kind of worried, particularly because of the equation that I thought I had solved incorrectly in the Algebra paper and some points that I had skipped in the brief summary of the Quit India Movement in the History paper. But I need not have bothered, I scored full in both. Can you beat that? Because no one else did, hehe! Well I am first, but I wish I could have still scored some more. Ninety-two percent somehow sounds too banal now and to add to my woes the gaps between the second ranker and me are shrinking too! Jay got eighty-two percent! Though I'm happy for him, I am under serious threat. I have to gear up for next year's boards.

Anyways, after collecting my report card, I was waiting near the door of the classroom for Dorothy ma'am to finish her work as I had to wish her happy holidays and make some enquiries about the next year's head boy's post, but that idea took a backseat as she walked past with her friends. I eyed her like a thirsty
man in a desert eyes a pail of water and she looked at me ever so slyly that her friends could not comprehend. She smiled, just the corner of her lips twitching upwards. And suddenly
wishing Dorothy ma'am did not really seem the most important thing to do then, nor did worrying about threats to my numero uno position.

As they turned up the corridor, my legs decided to follow and then I was only a puppet to the beatings of my heart. I almost slipped near the science lab but managed to find a grip on the saviour of a desk outside. Some idiot had poured oil on the floor and I even forgot to curse him. I saw her and Sapna move towards the
auditorium with Jess, but mid-way they turned again, only to disappear in the library.

Bingo! My intelligent mind got an excuse to go in and there they were right in front of my eyes, Jess and Sapna reasoning with her that the results had just come out and she should take a
break before touching the damn books again. I slipped by quickly and made my way to the bulky racks of the General Knowledge section as they started browsing in the Literature section opposite to where I was. I could just about make their shapes from the gaps in the books, pretending to browse through volumes,
patiently hearing their talks behind the huge stack that divided us. The pesky librarian was not at her place as usual, so there was no one to hush them up. Seema was quiet; the other two were doing the talking.

“Seemz, we should be celebrating the results, instead of wasting time here,” Jess reasoned.

“I agree with Jess. I guess, we all got more than what we bargained for,” Sapna cut in.

“Oh please, I don't know about you both, but ninety-two percent is not what I would be satisfied with,” Seema said.

‘Wow! Ninety-two percent! That's something man! She's so intelligent!' I thought.

“For God's sake Seemz, you got the first rank and there is a difference of ten percent between you and Vinay, you should be celebrating dear,” Jess said.

My ears almost popped out on hearing that.

‘She stood first again and that too with a difference of ten percent between herself and the second ranker! That girl is something of a miracle, man!' I heard myself say, bending my back to catch more of their words.

“Fools celebrate so soon! My classes would be starting in fifteen days and ninth is no easy matter, it is the foundation for the boards and I don't want to take it easy,” Seema said referring to her next academic year.

“Fifteen days is a lot of time dear! Calculating every two minutes for fifteen days, you could make a lot of Maggi noodles. Tell you what, let's meet up in the evening today and then hang out at Hot Ovens to celebrate and...” Jess prompted.

“...and you people expect me to treat, don't you?” Seema asked twitching her nose.

“Obviously!” both of them replied together.

“I'm not too sure about ma allowing me to go out today, she won't be too happy about my results,” Seema said slowly.

“Stop being a weirdo… Please Seema! I will talk to aunty. I am sure she will relent,” forced Jess.

In my desperation to hear her soft voice, I dropped a pretty big volume of a book right on my foot. The heavy Britannica encyclopaedia bounced off my feet on the floor and stayed put with its pages open. It hurt but I stifled my mouth with my hand. I didn't scream but the noise was enough to bring all the three of them to the spot with curiosity written all over their faces.

“Oh huh, so we have a visitor here,” Sapna teased. I don't know what it is about her. She always initiates a conversation by taunting or teasing people. You just wait, Sapna dear till I take your case.

“Yeah, I was just browsing through next year's books,” I justified.

Seema who was looking here and there till now, looked up to me. I could see her cheeks change colour, though I didn't dare look long enough to identify the hues and shades.

“Results are out and books pop in! Wow, so we have another Seema here, a dignified male version,” Jess chirped.

Seema hit her playfully. I meant to say something funny but I forgot it at the spur of the moment seeing the upward curve of her lips, my lips imitated her shy smile.

“We were just thinking of celebrating our success today evening, especially Seema's. She's got ninety-two percent, you know!” Jess exclaimed excitedly.

I saw her pinch Jess' elbow but maybe she didn't feel it.

“That's great,” I said, taking a deep breath.

“How much did you get?” Sapna asked.

“Yeah, the same,” I replied, feeling pleasantly uneasy.

Shit, Shit! I mentally kicked myself. I meant to say ‘I got ninety-two' and I surely didn't want to say ‘I got ninety-two too' or something like ‘Yeah, the same' but I did and God knows why? Seema was fidgeting in her position by now. I was kind of doing the same, but less gracefully than her.

“Wow, we have a ‘couple' of great scholars here who are definitely at par. Huh?” Sapna said laying a prolonged emphasis on ‘couple'.

God, my cheeks started to burn there and then. I chanced a glance in her direction and sure enough hers were the same too. I could almost sense the heat.

“What about you people?” I asked before they could question my glance and say something else.

“Oh, how nice of you to ask. I scored seventy-two,” Jess replied.

“I managed seventy-five,” Sapna said, sticking out her tongue.

I had been holding the bulgy book in my hand for quite some time now, having picked it up from the floor, forgetting to put it back when I spotted her staring at my drooping hand, so I put away the encyclopaedia before it dragged me down.

“Ok, so we'll see you after two months when the school reopens,” Sapna said, paving the way for their departure.

Two months!

“Or maybe today evening,” Jess whispered near my ear, before walking off. Seema stayed close behind giving me a parting glance but I doubt she heard Jess say that to me. In fact, I doubt I heard that myself but I guess I did and I was pretty sure about it because I landed in front of Jess' colony bang before the sun could even think of calling it a day or night for that matter!

I hoped to spot them as they made their way out of their places. The particular spot I chose near the narrow lane between hers and Jess' homes, gave me a clear way of all possible exits they could take. I was feeling a little nervous and wondered whether I should
have brought Raj along but he was not at home when I called him in the afternoon.

There was either no breeze or I thought I was too overdressed for a simple unplanned outing. My jacket was sticking to my t-shirt so I took it off and stood there with it slung over my shoulder, humming ‘Kyon chalti hai pavan' emulating Hrithik Roshan sans the steps, when I could feel no air at all. Maybe because I was wearing the same combination of clothing, a plain white polo tucked in slim black trousers and a Harley belt to hold them in place. The red zipper jacket suited well and combined with bluish glares, I guess I looked nonetheless like the actor himself, drawing admiring glances from all the passers-by. I could almost imagine some girls whistling at me, in their minds. One hour passed and my feet started to ache. I thought of going back but something kept me waiting.

Someone bumped a cycle into my legs softly. I turned. It was Akshay, her little brother who studies in the fifth grade in our school.

“Hey lil' champ? How are you doing? What about your results?”
I asked him, ruffling his hair and pulling out a spare éclair from my pocket.

“Seema didi is at Hot Ovens with her friends. They left early,” he said pointing towards the direction of the popular, local hang out, not caring to check whether his answer matched my query.

I only responded when he pedalled off, after taking the éclair from my hands.

“Thanks,” I said, nodding to myself in the air.