Truly Mine (19 page)

Once in the car and on our way, I decide to tell everyone where we’re going. “So, we’re going to New Jersey.”

“For?” Lissa asks.

Truly smiles in a way that I’m sure she knows where we’re going.

“MetLife Stadium?” Truly asks.

She used to enjoy watching me play. I wish I had told her how much that turned me on all those years ago.

“You got it. Giants versus Steelers.”

“This is a new one for me. I’ve never been to an NFL game,” Marie says apprehensively.

“It’ll be so much fun!” Truly is nearly bouncing off her seat with excitement.

It sends a warm wave through my body. She might be living in a big city, but she’s still that small-town girl. I know it.

“I wish I had known, Tyler! I would’ve worn my jersey.” She pops her lip out.

I don’t even think before I lean in and kiss her pouty lips.

“Ugh! Get a room!” Lissa taunts.

I pull back and look into Truly’s eyes. I love the excitement and happiness I see in them. I want her to always look this way. “I’ll buy you one.”

She’s pleased with that.

After arriving at the stadium, I purchase a Giants jersey for Truly, and we find our spot. Thankfully, I was able to get decent seats. Marie is impassive, but Truly, Lissa, and Ellis are excited to be here.

As the game starts and the announcers’ voices blast over the crowd, Truly bounces on her tiptoes. It reminds me of her as a high school girl, so excited to watch me play scrimmage games in the empty field across from my dad’s office. I swear, from just thinking about it, I can smell the freshly cut grass and hear everyone cheering my name.

“Thank you for bringing me here!” she shouts over the crowd.

“You’re welcome.” I instantly wonder if she was this pumped when I was playing in my high school games. I was so in a zone that I never took the time to pay attention to the girl I was dating, let alone Truly.

Giants blue looks really fucking good on her. I think she’ll be leaving that jersey on while I fuck her later.

“Oh, oh, oh!” Lissa waves her hand toward the guy selling beers and hotdogs.

I get the guy’s attention and pull my wallet out of my back pocket.

“Marie, Ellis, Tru? Want one?”

“Yes!” they all say at once.

After paying for five beers and hotdogs, I pass them out as they are handed to me and take one for myself.

We all dig in to our dogs, and I realize this is the first time Truly and I have eaten today.

I finish eating,
and I get to
my feet, joining the girls as they stand and cheer. I take a moment to just watch them. I wish I could drag this weekend on forever.

Over the next couple of hours, we scream and cheer the New York Giants to victory. Truly is affectionate, a side I’m not familiar with. She’s aggressive and vocal while cheering for our team. This side of her I do know, and I love it.

After the game, we follow the crowd, and Truly holds my arm, leaning on me. Exhausted, we exit the stadium.

“Want a piggyback ride?” I look down at her and smile.

“Ha! I wish. I’m a little old for that.”

I narrow my eyes as I scold her, “I hate it when you say that.” Leaning down, I order her on my back, “Hop on. I’ll carry you.”

“No, Tyler. Now, go.” She waves her hands, motioning for me to hurry up.

“I’m not moving. Get on before people start throwing things at us.”

“Seriously?”

I raise my eyebrows and grin as I wait for her to give in.

She does.She wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist, and before long, her head is resting on my shoulder. Ellis has Lissa wrapped up in his arms, and Marie leads us as she taps away on her phone.

I’ve arranged for a car to be waiting for us. We load into the car, and minutes later, Truly is asleep, her head nuzzled against my chest.

Everyone is so quiet. Or maybe it’s only because the past few hours have been so loud. The mood seems to have shifted, only I don’t have any idea why.I watch the rise and fall of Truly’s body as she sleeps soundly. When I look up, the others seem to have almost a mournful demeanor about them.

“Did you have fun today?” I ask, looking between the three of them.

“Yes. It was amazing. I didn’t know a football game could be so fun,” Marie speaks softly.

Lissa and Ellis smile and nod their heads in agreement.

“What time do you fly out tomorrow?” Lissa asks.

“Nine a.m.,”I reply.

A half smile that seems kind of sad comes over her face, and I sense something is going through their minds, but none of them wants to address whatever it is.

“Does anyone want to tell me why you’re looking at me like wounded puppies?”

They look anywhere but at me. I stare at each of them, not wavering. I want to know what has changed their mood so quickly.

“Will we be seeing you again?” Lissa finally asks.

I sit silent. All of a sudden, I feel deflated. I get it. “I assume you know the answer to that better than I do.” I chew on my lip, so I don’t say anything more.

“I hope we do.” Marie flashes a genuine smile.

I nod my head as I pull Truly a little closer, and I kiss the top of her head. This is the first time I entertain the thought of this visit being no more than every other visit we’ve ever had. I thought this was the beginning of something more. Not the same old, same old.

pronunciation
dey-noo-mahn

(n.)
the end result of an uncertain series of actions

“T
ruly.”

I’m awakened by Tyler calling my name softly.

I must have fallen asleep as soon as we got in the car. He’s affectionately stroking my back, but I sense aggravation in his voice. We’ve had a wonderful day—a wonderful weekend, for that matter. He was fine when we left the game. I hope I didn’t talk in my sleep. I won’t bother him with any of my baggage.

I pretend to still be sleeping while my heart is pounding. I have one last night with him, and I’ll be damned if I ruin that, too. Still tucked under his arm and against his chest, I slide my hand under his shirt and rest it on his hip. His chest stills. I look up at him. We look in each other’s eyes with a deeper emotion than I’ve ever felt for, or in return of a man.

“Sir?” the driver calls from the front seat. “Can I take you somewhere else?”

“No. No, we’re on our way. Sorry,” Tyler says, exiting the car.

I slide out after him. He stands, looking at me.

I decide to break the silence. “I had the best time today. Thank you.”

“I had a good time, too. It took me back in time.”

“Hmm.” I take a few steps toward him. “Yes, it did for me, too.”I take his hand in mine and move toward the door.

Tyler resists. “Do you want to find a café and have dinner?”

“Okay.”

We walk hand in hand to a café a few blocks away from my apartment, uncomfortably silent. The anxiety is beginning to build as we get closer to tomorrow’s inevitable good-bye.

Once seated, we fall into an easy interaction again. As we eat our dinner, we talk about Tyler’s sisters. He tells me about his strange love-hate relationship with Dara.

I sense he’s had enough talk about his family when he changes the subject completely. He mentions a conversation he had with Cory, and my heart skips a beat.

“Yeah, he thinks Ali could be screwing around on him. I know she wouldn’t do that.”

I take a bite of my burger, mostly because I want to prevent myself from saying what I’m thinking. My mind goes straight to what I do for a living and why I do it.

“Besides, you know how Fallport is. The whole town would know if she were.” He shrugs his shoulders and arches his eyebrows as if to say to me,
You know it’s the truth
.

He’s right. It is true. Everyone knows everything about everyone in that small town. At least they think they do. I can name a whole lot of shit that people think they know about me.

“So, what’s your take on it?” I ask.

“I think they’ve been together for over twenty years. Maybe they’re bored of each other. That’s a long time.”

I can’t stop the smile that takes over my face.

“What’s that look for?”Tyler snaps.

“We met before they did,”I remind him.

“Actually, we met after they did.”

“Okay. We started—”

He’s right. We did meet after, but we didn’t waste any time.

“Having sex,”he adds.

“Yes. Cory should court her again,”I suggest.

“Court her? Did you just say that?”He laughs at me.

“Yes, I did. Court her, date her, whatever. You know, like he did to get her to go out with him in the first place. Make her feel young and beautiful—before his fear is a reality.”

“Do I make you feel young and beautiful?”Tyler asks with all seriousness in his tone.

“We aren’t talking about me. We’re talking about Ali.”

“I don’t want to talk about Ali anymore. Or Cory. Or anyone else, for that matter,”Tyler quips.

“What do you want to do?”I ask.

“I want to take you to bed.”

Oh.
I look away.

“Don’t give me that shy shit, Tru.”

“You know, you say that to me a lot. Do you use that line on all your girls?”

He’s quiet as he chews on his bottom lip. Something has been brewing in that mind of his since we left the game.

“Let’s go,” he demands.

We stand, and Tyler lays several bills on the table.

We walk back to my apartment as silently as we walked to the cafe. The aggravation and anxiety that I sensed earlier are gone.

The moment my apartment door closes, Tyler pulls me against him. He lets out a long sigh. Before I can speak, he seals his lips over mine. His kiss is lazy, and his hands slowly wander from my hips to my face.

I know that neither of us will be sleeping a wink tonight. Every last moment will be spent absorbing, like a sponge, each other’s taste, smell, and sounds.

All night long, we make love.

I can say, without a doubt, it was love. I let it happen. I didn’t even attempt to stop it. I didn’t mask my feelings. I might have even said the words in the throes of passion.

Something about this night and the sudden shift in Tyler’s expectations of me, of us, have allowed me to let my guard down.

I awake suddenly. It’s dark, and I don’t feel Tyler.

He’s on his side, facing away from me. I sit up and lean back against the headboard as I look across the room at the clock. It’s four a.m. Not time to get up.

Slowly, I slide out of bed and tiptoe my way out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom. As I turn the faucet on and manipulate the handles, I begin to sob. I don’t know what’s come over me. I don’t fucking cry. Quietly, so as not to wake Tyler, I let out this sudden storm that has taken over. My chest heaves, and my breathing is erratic. Once the water temperature is a soothing warm stream, I cup my hands under it and then spill it over my face.

I stand in front of the large mirror and look at myself. I look into my own eyes, not allowing myself to look away. It’s hard to face myself right now. I swallow hard and think about what’s going to happen tomorrow. The choices I’m making right now are not a representation of the way I want my story to end.

As the inner battle continues, tears run down my cheeks. My eyes are red and puffy, and my lips are swollen. They remind me of someone…of her.I am her twin. My mother used to do this very thing. Cry in the bathroom. I’ve only just now remembered it.

“I fucking hate you. I fucking hate you.”
She would say it over and over.

Who did she hate?
Herself, I imagine. For all the dirty, rotten things she did in her miserable life.
Why in the hell am I even thinking of her right now?
I shake my head in an attempt to rid my mind of her. The only good that’s come of thinking of her is that I’m no longer crying. The thought of her does nothing more than piss me off.

I grab a hand towel and pat my face dry. Taking a deep breath, I look at myself in the mirror again. I pity the woman looking back at me. She’s quite possibly as stupid as her mother. Too bad there’s nothing I can do about it.

Sliding into bed, I can only confirm how stupid a decision it is to let this man beside me go away tomorrow. Just being near him, I feel peaceful and worthy. And safe.