Trust (15 page)

“Okay.” I followed him from the bathroom and into the kitchen.

“Sit down.” He motioned to the tiny two
-person table and I quickly took a seat. “Ready for a surprise?”

I nodded eagerly, nearly bouncing from my chair in excitement, as if I were a child at Christmastime.

Opening the fridge, he pulled something out and when he turned around I nearly burst with excitement.

“Is that?” My stomach grumbled just looking at the foot
-long Subway sandwich.

“Extra cheese, no veggies.” He turned to the microwave, pulling the sandwich from the plastic bag. “Do you want me to?”

“No! It’s fine.”

He turned back around to face me, amusement dancing in his eyes. “I can heat it, it’s not
–”

“It’s fine!” I leapt from the chair and snatched it from his fingertips. I had it unwrapped by the time I sat bac
k down. “I’m sorry, didn’t mean to grab.” Not waiting for an acknowledgment of my apology I began devouring the first half.

Ohmygod
, this is heaven. Surely it’s heaven
. I couldn’t recall eating something so good in my life. I didn’t look in his direction until the first half was devoured. When I did look up the wide grin on his face as he watched me stuff my face embarrassed me.

“I’m sorry. It’s so good.” I looked down at the second half
. “Do you want the other half?” Despite asking, I prayed he’d say no. I wanted it so bad…

“I’m fine. It’s yours.”

Looking back down at the second half of the sandwich I knew that I should save it or should share it with the other girls. But it smelled so good and I could still taste the mayo on my lips. Before I could give it anymore thought I was devouring the second half, but this time I ate slowly enough to savour the spicy salami and delicious ham and the cheese, oh the cheese was incredible. This had to be the best sub I’d ever had in my life.

Once done, I slumped back in the chair and closed my eyes
, a huge smile spreading across my lips. I felt overstuffed, not wanting to move from the chair. The sub was more food in one sitting than I usually ate in three or four days here at the compound.

“Good?”

“Good doesn’t even begin to describe it,” I replied, not opening my eyes. “It was like an orgasm for the tastebuds.” His laughter forced me to open my eyes to look over at him.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“Thank you. I think I was too busy shoving it into my mouth to thank you.”

He went to the fri
dge and pulled out a bottle of Coca-Cola. My mouth began to water as I eyed the soda. “I was going to give you this, but didn’t want to interrupt and get bit or smacked for getting too close.”

A burst of laughter escaped me. “Shut it. Ass.”

Chuckling, he opened the bottle, passed it to me then retook his position leaning against the kitchen counter, one ankle casually crossed over the other. “Is that the kind of way to talk to the guy who just bought you dinner?”

I took a hearty swig of the
Coke, drinking down close to a third of the bottle. Mmmm. Liquid sugar. So good. How could I have ever taken these things for granted? I knew if I ever got out of there I’d never take those things for granted again. Before I knew what was happening, a massive burp escaped me. My hand attempted to cover my mouth, but it wasn’t near fast enough.

Mortified, I cringed, not able to look at Lance.
“Excuse me,” I managed to murmur. I’d never belched in front of a guy before, but when the roar of laughter erupted from him the embarrassment quickly faded. Considering what I’d experienced in front of him and at his own hand, this was hardly something to be embarrassed about.

“If you’re done, follow me. I got another surprise for you.”

“Another surprise? I don’t think I can handle much more.”

He laughed and extended his hand to me. “Come on.” Taking his hand I followed him into the bedroom. The bedroom was pretty lackluster in appearance,
small with beige walls, a queen-sized bed, a dresser and nightstand with a closet on the far side of the room.

Releasing my hand he went to his dresser and pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers and tossed them on the bed. “While you’re here you can wear these.”

Grinning, I pulled off the towels from around both my hair and body, dropping them to the floor and snatching the white Budweiser t-shirt from the bed, and then stepped into the boxers – the t-shirt fell to my knees and I had to knot the boxers in the front to keep them up, but I was hardly complaining. “Food and clothing, I’m almost thinking you’re hoping to get lucky again tonight.” I gave him a wink and then bent to pick up the discarded towels.

He cocked a brow at me and returned my smile. “Now, if I planned that, then why would I bother giving you the clothing?”

“Foreplay so you can take it back off?”

He didn’t respond, but gave his eyebrows a little wiggle that made me giggle.

Chewing at my bottom lip I toyed with asking him the question I’d been wondering since he’d rescued me from the near rape. “Can I ask you something?” Not wanting to see him stare at me, I fingered the hem of the t-shirt.

“You can ask, not sure I can answer…”

“Were you going to kill Connor?”

“Yes.” His answer
said so bluntly and with such disconnection of feeling had me looking back up into his eyes.

“You would have? Really?”

“He’s lucky I didn’t kill him since that was my first impulse. But I’d prefer not to rock the boat at the moment and had I killed him then we wouldn’t have this time together. He’ll get what’s coming to him – in time.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just what I said and that’s all I can say about that.” Reaching behind himself, he pulled the gun from the back of his jeans, flicked on the safety and placed it on the dresser. “One more surprise, come on to the living room.”

I watched him walk away and then over at the gun. I could make it to the gun and turn the safety off before he got to me, I had no doubt about that.

“Aren’t you scared I’ll take the gun and try to escape?”

He froze in his tracks just inside the threshold, his body framed in the doorway. He slowly turned to face me, his expression a blank slate, devoid of emotion. “Nope.”

I glanced at the gun and then back at him. “Why not? It has six shots, should be enough to get me out of here, even if I had to shoot my way out.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, he jerked his chin toward the gun. “Then by all means.” A stone silence settled over the room as we stared into each other’s eyes. “Well, go on… Take it, it could be your only chance at freedom.”

I stood staring at him, my mind whirling, feeling numb.

“Take the gun Gwen. Now,” he commanded
, pushing me into action.

Grabbing the gun from the dresser I held it limply in my hands. I’d shot rifles before, my father was an avid hunter and had taken me along with him. But could I possibly shoot someone, shoot Lance
?

“Raise the gun and point it at me.”

Lifting my head I caught his gaze and did as told. My hands shook and I nearly dropped the gun a couple of times. If I got away then I could notify the police and save all the other girls. Maybe I could put an end to this. I could go back to my life. I’d avoided being raped tonight, but what about next time? This could be my one and only chance.

I closed my eyes and tried to slow my racing heart. When I reopened my eyes Lance was directly in front of me. He put his hand under the barrel of the gun and centered it at his chest.

“Turn off the safety.”

I couldn’t. My body was frozen so he reached out and undid it for me. My finger slipped to the trigger.

“Now pull the trigger, Gwen. Do it.”

My hands began shaking so bad I was scared I’d drop the gun as tears filled my eyes.

“What are you waiting for?” His tone was so even, not even a hint of nervousness in either his expression or his voice.

Why wasn’t he scared? Was this a game? A test? Was the gun even loaded?

“It’s loaded, Gwen,” he confirmed as if reading my mind. “You just have to pull the trigger.”

The trembling in my hands increased and my legs felt like they may give out from under me. I closed my eyes and the smell of his aftershave drifted into my senses
; for the rest of my life every time I caught a whiff of that scent I’d think of him. “I can’t,” I whispered.

“
I’m not a good man Gwen, no matter what you think you know about me. Thousands of people have died because of me and the people here. Thousands more will. Tens of thousands. I’ve killed people with my own hands. Think of the girls downstairs, you can help them. Just. Pull. The. Trigger.”

I look
ed back up into his eyes and they remained emotionless. What was he talking about? Thousands of people? Because of him? Why was he doing this? I had to stop thinking, he was standing between me and freedom. The tears brimming my eyes began to slide down my cheeks as I applied pressure on the trigger.

Chapter 16

Lance

This wasn’t the first time I’d been at the business end of a loaded gun and I knew for a fact it wouldn’t be the last.
Any normal person would be terrified for their life, but as I positioned the barrel of the gun to my chest I knew she wouldn’t shoot. The fact was, I knew what I’d been doing when I left the gun on the counter, just as I knew she’d grab it and then battle with herself over whether she should use it or not.

I was putting my life in her hands
; it was the ultimate demonstration of trust. It was something I needed her to see. But it was hardly a gamble, I knew she’d never be able to pull the trigger. It went well beyond the fact that she felt obligated to me and the feelings of devotion that came along with that obligation, and it also went beyond her intense feelings of affection, maybe even love for me.

At the core she was a good person
. She could easily be the spokesperson for what was good in the world; there was no darkness lurking within her screaming to get out. She was one of those people who used humane traps on mice and would take in a stray dog or cat because the thought of it going hungry was too much for her to bear.

She was pure goodness and ending the life of another human being wasn’t in her, even if it meant her freedom. The fact that someone with such empathy for others managed so well in the conditions of the dungeon, seeing the horrors around her
, was a testament to her strength and determination to be free … and to free the rest of the girls one day.

Gwen

I dropped my head to my chest and lowered the gun. “I can’t…” I gasped and removed my finger from the trigger.

“Why?”

“I just… can’t… Why did you let me take the gun?”

Cupping my chin in his hand he forced my eyes to meet his. “Because I trust you.”

“Trust,” I echoed. How could he trust me when he barely knew me? But then again I trusted him with both my body and heart – with my life.

“Just like I know you know I’ll protect and care for you, no matter what I have to do to achieve that.”

Gun still in my hand, I brought my palms to my forehead. What in the fuck was I doing? I could have killed the only person who protected me. My light in the darkness. Was I that far gone already? Or maybe the crazy thing was that I hadn’t used the gun.

“Just give me the gun before you accidentally kill me or yourself.” He carefully removed the gun from my fingertips, flipped the safety back on and then placed it onto the dresser.

The room began to spin and my mind became foggy. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t know what to think
,” I groaned out as I lost my balance and began to topple to the floor. Just before my body hit the carpet beneath my feet, Lance caught me, scooping me into arms. He carried me into the living room, sitting down on the sofa and cradling me in his arms.

I clutched to the front of his shirt and lowered my forehead to his shoulder. “The twins. Connor’s going to hurt them. I can’t… I need to help them.”

“You need to stop worrying about everyone else and worry about yourself, Gwen. How many times do I need to say this to you?”

I pulled back in his arms to look into his eyes. “How can you not care?”

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Gwen. Please. These conversations are exhausting and beyond frustrating to me, there’s nothing I can do.”

“Then you train them. Don’t let the others hurt them. The
y’re not virgins so they’re fair game for the taking.” I wished I could just drop it, because I knew how much it angered him when I pushed, but I couldn’t.

His jaw clenched. “I’ll speak to
The Boss about it, but I can’t promise anything. They have some time, the next auction isn’t for another month. There’s a big meeting coming up of many of the heads of the organization so The Boss is currently busy setting that up; the slaves aren’t at the top of his priority list right now.”

“So he’s not the head of it all?”

Taking a deep breath in, Lance slowly released it and stared down at me. I could see him considering what he would tell me and what he had no interest in sharing. “It’s complicated.”

“And you can’t say anything more about it,” I offered.

He tapped the tip of my nose with his index finger. “Exactly.”

“So twenty years down the road, if we’re still here you’ll still keep this stuff from me?”

“I have no intention of being here twenty years down the road.”

Instead of his comment reassuring me, it brought about a slew of questions. If he had no intention of being there, what would happen to me? If I
couldn’t leave the compound and he couldn’t take me anywhere with him, would they eventually sell me? Kill me?

“Don’t go down that path Gwen,” he said, as if reading my mind. I hated how he could tell what I was thinking even when I was trying to figure it out myself.

Cocking my head to the side I eyed him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean the only thing you should be focusing on is the present
. Thinking about the future will drive you insane.”

I huffed. “I think I’m already partway there.”

“You’ve been through a lot, more than a normal person’s mind can process all at once.”

“
Becca seems well adjusted.”

He laughed. “
Becca is an exceptional case.”

“How long has she been here?”

He clucked his tongue off of the roof of his mouth. “Dunno for sure. Six months. Eight maybe. I can’t honestly say, I just know she’s been here the longest.”

“Then what do you do usually?”

He cocked a brow up at me.

“Al
l right. I’m sorry. I won’t ask again.” He may get frustrated with all my questions, but didn’t he see how frustrating it was having no answers?.

“Listen, it’s not that I’m trying to be difficult with you. One day you’ll know everything there is to know. But not now, not for a while.”

I looked down and fidgeted with the hem of his t-shirt, before taking a deep breath in and asking him the question that had been on my mind while he’d been away. “What if you decide that you don’t want me anymore?” When he didn’t reply, I looked up into his eyes and saw sympathy and maybe just a little of something else – affection. “It’s not like we can have a normal relationship where we go out and do stuff together.”

“I doubt I’ll ever get bored of you, believe it or not you’re the only thing about this place that I feel good about. Caring for you gives me hope that I haven’t completely lost touch with my humanity. When you’re around violence and death as much as I am it eventually begins to numb you inside. It feels good to care for someone again.”

“So you really would have killed Connor?” It seemed too hard to believe that Lance could be responsible for anyone’s death, even someone like Connor. 

“If his death wouldn’t potentially complicate things for me right now I wouldn’t have thought twice about it,” he replied
. His tone was so devoid of emotion it sent a chill through me. “So for now, I have to settle for humiliating him in front of the slaves and other guards instead.”

“Are you a
hitman?”

His expression went blank and my body froze.
Ohmygod, was I right? Suddenly he began laughing; he laughed so hard his laughter was cut off with a loud groan as he clutched his side where his injured rib was.

“No, sweetheart. I’m not a
hitman.” While he was talking with me in a good-natured manner I knew there was no way I was going to get him to open up any more than he had.

My attention focused on the television in front of us and Jenny’s claims that my family were all over the news came to mind. That had been about a week ago. “Is my family still on the news?”

“Yeah, it’s gone nationwide and still going strong. We’d never have been able to sell you to a U.S. buyer, at least not for a while anyhow.”

“Do you think one of the stations would be running my story right now?”

“If it is, I’m not sure if seeing it would be such a good idea, Gwen.”

“I’ll never see or talk to them again, will I?”

“No. That part of your life is over Gwen. You need to accept that. Seeing them on the television will only make this harder.” I glanced up at him and as he looked into my eyes, he frowned.

Tears began to well up in my eyes.

He huffed thrusting a hand into his dark hair, giving in. “Fine. Just for the record I’m opposed to the idea.”

Slipping out from under me, Lance walked over to the
flat-screen mounted on the wall and grabbed the remote from the top, flicking it on. Sitting down beside me he flipped through the channels until he came to a news program that promised to give an update on the search for Gwen Anderson.

We spent close to a half hour in silence as we watched the news, although not a single word of what was being said registered with me. It wasn’t until my high school graduation picture popped up on the screen, my blue eyes gleaming and smile wide
, that I perked up in my seat and really listened.

“The hunt for cheerleader and town sweetheart Gwen Anderson is still under
way. The police and her family remain optimistic that she will be found,” the female reporter stated. The news story switched to an interview with Brandon. Tears filled my eyes as I watched him talk about how much he missed me and showed the reporter the ring he kept with him and planned on giving me when I was found. Jenny had been right. He had planned on proposing.

I glanced over at Lance, but his expression was blank as he stared at the screen, not giving any indication of what he was thinking. The sound of my mother’s voice came on the screen and my attention jerked back to the television. There was such worry in her eyes, it looked like she hadn’t slept since I disappeared
, with dark circles under her puffy eyes. My father stood beside her, holding her tight.

“Mom…” I gasp
ed as I slid from the sofa and crawled over to the television. Stretching up to the television, my fingers touched the screen, touching the image of her cheek.

“We know she’ll be brought back to us and the bastards that took her will pay
–
”
The camera focused on my father as he continued to talk. He looked so sad, yet there was a flare of anger and determination in his eyes. I stared at my parents, attempting to burn their images into my mind so I’d never ever forget them.
“
–
We’ll go to the ends of the earth if that’s what it takes to find her.”

I leaned forward until my forehead was pressed against the screen as sobs overtook my body. Tears streamed down my cheeks and my body heaved as I gasped for breath. The news story continued interviewing my friends and teachers, but I barely heard anything being said.

“Gwen…” It wasn’t until his hand was on my shoulder that I realized Lance had gotten off of the sofa and was kneeling beside me. “It’s over.”

“How can you guys do this to people? You’re not only hurting the girls, but destroying families. What kind of monster do you have to be to do this to innocent, loving people?” I jerk
ed my shoulder out of his grasp and crab walked away from him until my back hit the wall. “You’re all monsters!” I screamed.

Lance rose to his feet and said nothing, but simply nodded, not denying it.

“My parents, this is killing them!” All thought left my mind as I lunged myself at him, pounding on his chest with my fists. He took my assault until my fists came dangerously close to his injured rib; grabbing my wrists, he forced me to stop, pushing himself tight against me, pinning me to the wall, my hands above my head.

“I know
, Gwen. I know. You had the chance, you had the gun in your hands, and you didn’t take it.”

“I wouldn’t have made it out and you know it!” I hissed. I wanted them all dead
: The Boss, Connor, Tanner, Jazz and anyone else who dared lay a hand on the girls, or attempt to keep us here. Lance may have saved me, but he was a part of it all and that being the case a part of me hated him too.

“You’re right, you wouldn’t have, but it wouldn’t have been because I stopped you.”

Struggling against him I attempted to free myself, but his grip only tightened on me. “So that makes it better! If you don’t agree with what they’re doing then why don’t you stop it? You admitted you wouldn’t hesitate to kill Connor and any of the rest of them, then what are you waiting for? What makes their lives more valuable than the women in the dungeon? What makes their families more important than the girls’?” I screamed so loudly by the time I was finished that my throat was raw and no doubt anyone passing by in the hallway or in rooms that shared a wall with his could hear me, but I didn’t give a damn.

I could see the anger and frustration in his gaze as his body tensed against me. “Listen to me carefully
, Gwen. You need to keep those thoughts and opinions to yourself,” he growled. “You’ll fucking get us both killed. Is that what you want?”