Trust (19 page)

“Can I have a bath?” I shivered. “I can feel his hands all over me…”

Lance stepped up to me and took my upper arms in his hands. “You won’t have to go through that again Gwen. You have no idea how hard it was to keep myself in that chair and watch them do that to you.
Certainly not near as hard as having to endure it, but it was killing me.” His jaw clenched and I saw the rage flare up in his eyes. “That’s the very last time anyone aside from myself will ever touch you and I’ll do whatever necessary to make sure that’s not an empty promise.”

He pulled me into his arms and I welcomed his embrace. But even as he held me I couldn’t help but think about the girls downstairs. Those girls didn’t have anyone to fight for them. I had to do something, I just had no idea what it was.

Chapter 20

“So? How did it go?” I asked as Lance entered the apartment and plunked himself down beside me on the sofa, looking emotionally and physically exhausted. Tossing the Stephen King novel I’d been reading on the end table, I waited for a report.

He thrust a hand into his hair in agitation. “About as good as expected.”

“Could you be any more vague?”

He snorted, a partial smile touching his lips.
“I decided to start with Chloe. It pretty much went down like it did with you on the first day.”

I looked down at the hem on the t-shirt I’d borrowed from him and fingered it. “
Did you –”

He looked at me and sighed. “Did I what?”

I shrugged. “You know. Fuck her?”

“No, I didn’t touch her in a sexual manner.”

A huge sigh of relief passed my lips. His hands, his lips and his cock were supposed to be for me only.

“Although if you want me to be the one to train them, then I’m going to need to eventually. You realize that, right?”
Lance’s eyes locked onto mine.

“
I wish there was another way,” I muttered.

“This was your idea
, Gwen. I never did want to get involved in the process. I think I could have even gotten out of it despite The Boss saying it was a requirement of keeping you, but you’re the one who insisted I needed to be the one. Did you think I liked seeing you suck off my father, or see Tanner getting off touching what’s mine?”

“No. But it’
s not like I wanted to suck The Boss’s cock.”

“And it’s not like I want this either. But it’s what has to be done, unless you want me to pass them off to Tanner
or whoever.”

The selfish part of me wanted to tell him to let Tanner have them, but how could I do that? How could I ignore the fact they’d be brutalized and it would be partially my fault because I could have prevented it?
This was the ultimate rock and a hard place scenario. This situation was such a mind-fuck – my emotions were running amok, battling with my sense of reason and what was right. What made it even worse was that even the “right” choice wasn’t right at all.

“Well, Gwen. Let me know now because I have enough going on than to come back here and have to reassure you every time I’m with one of them. I’m not going to proceed into this process to pass them off in a few days. Either I’m in or I’m not. Just like when we first met when I told you modesty was just
an emotion that would get in the way, the same goes with jealousy.”

“It’s just so… hard.”

“I appreciate your feelings Gwen, and in any other circumstance or with anyone else I wouldn’t have cared this bothers you, but it happens that I do. Regardless, it doesn’t change a thing.”

“Emotions get in the way…” I’d heard it so many times from his lips, too many times. I doubt
ed I’d ever forget what seemed to be his motto.

“Exactly.” Grabbing my wrist, Lance pulled
me over to him, straddling his lap. “Now, if this conversation is over, I need to fuck you so bad I’m nearly bursting.”

For a split second I wondered if the reason why he was so horny was because he’d been wanting to fuck Chloe, but I shook the thought loose. He was right, I couldn’t overthink and I couldn’t let emotions get in the way. This wasn’t a normal situation and we weren’t in a normal relationship
; the sooner I accepted that the easier my life would be. 

~*~*~*~*~

I’d been staying in his apartment for a week now and I was finally beginning to accept life there. It was far from perfect and I longed for my freedom, but one thing I’d come to realize was it could be a hell of a lot worse. Worse being a couple
of floors below my feet. I hadn’t forgotten my sisters in despair, they plagued my thoughts and when I figured out a way to get us all out of there, I’d free us all. Sadly, that was still a plan in the process. 

The television
and laptop were off limits to me; that was the only rule there was to living with Lance. The only time I got to watch TV was when he was with me and he monitored everything. He had serious Big Brother issues when it came to the television and computer. Lance was scared I would seek out more news stories about myself and have a panic attack or breakdown while he wasn’t there. He actually took the remote with him when he left the room and the television was one of those types that was useless without it. As for the laptop, I wasn’t permitted the passcode, rendering it useless as well.

But he had lots of books
, ranging from psychology books, which I assumed were his from his university years, to modern thrillers, horror and mystery novels. And as the days passed I found myself becoming a compulsive clean freak. His already orderly area was now so spotless, there wasn’t a single speck of dust to be found anywhere.

I also enjoyed staring out the window. I had the guards
’ patrol routines down pat. Every fifteen minutes one guard would come from the left and every half-hour one would come from the right, both armed with what appeared to be semi-automatic weapons. So far I’d seen six men on patrol duty, which went on 24-7.

Snatching up the John Grisham novel
that I was halfway through reading, I plunked myself down onto the sofa. I only had four pages read when the lock to the door clicked and like an eager puppy I leapt from the sofa, tossing the paperback onto the end table and rushing to the door to meet him.

The door opened and Lance stepped in. His eyes immediately caught mine and a wide smile spread across his face. “Missed me so much you were waiting by the door, huh?”

“Yes.” Slipping my arms around his neck, I pressed my body against his. Today I was wearing a white tank top and panties. He seemed to really like that look on me and I wanted to please him – I felt it was the least I could do. My nipples began to harden, pressing at the thin cotton as my chest rubbed against his.

Lance lowered his lips to the side of my neck and gently nipped the sensitive flesh as he walked me backward, kicking the door closed with his heel. “I was only gone for a couple hours, what’s going to happen when we’re out in the real world
and I’m gone all day at work?”

My body froze against his. This was the first time he’d ever mentioned us outside of the compound
, or a future for us for that matter; it was like a taboo subject. Was it a slip of what he truly had planned, or simply wishful thinking? Maybe I was just reading into it, overthinking it all.

Pulling back in his arms I searched his blue eyes for an answer. Did he think about us as a couple with kids and a house and working 9-5 jobs that we
’d complain about, but go every day to anyhow? I knew I did; thinking about us in a normal setting was becoming one of my favourite pastimes.

Apparently noticing his slip, he cleared his throat, placed a chaste kiss on my lips and pulled away from me. He made his way into the kitchen, with me trailing behind.

“What do you want for supper?”

“Do you think about our future?” I never asked that question anymore. What was the point, he never answered. He just told me to live in the present and the future would work itself out.

“What do you mean?” He opened the fridge and peered in. “I have some hamburger here and cheese slices. What do you think, cheeseburgers?”

I think I hate when you change the subject
, I fumed inwardly.

“Cheeseburgers are fine.” I watched him as he pulled out the ingredients for the burgers. “So do you?”

His body froze and he turned to face me. Bracing his hands behind him on the countertop, he leaned back against the counter. “I do.”

“And?” I
prompted.

“You’re in it.”

“But in what capacity?” My mind screamed at me to back off, I didn’t want him shutting down on me, not after I waited all afternoon for him to come home. 

Home – I laughed inwardly, I couldn’t believe I was actually considering this place home now.

He cocked his head to the side, eyeing me, as if trying to decide how to deal with the question. “Are you asking if I one day see us married with the ankle biters and whatnot?”

My cheeks grew warm and I suddenly felt incredibly stupid for even bringing it up. But a part of me needed to know I had a future outside of these wall
s, and I really dreamed it would be with him. Despite his secrets, which he stated he kept for my own good and the situation we were in, he was the man I’d always dreamed of having.

Scared he was going to shoot down my dream, I turn
ed from him and attempted to scurry out of the kitchen. I’d only made it a few feet when his hand clasped around my wrist, stopping me in my tracks and spinning me around to face him.

“If we had met under different circumstances and had the freedom of a normal couple, then yes. Yes, I would w
ant that future with you. Do I think about it? Of course. Do I think that’s in the future for us? I have no idea. I’m not going to feed you false hope, truth is, I simply don’t know, but it’ll become much clearer very soon.”

It wasn’t exactly what I’d hoped to hear, but it was more than I’d gotten from him thus far.

His hand released my wrist and slid up my arm to end up grasping the back of my neck and pulling me toward him. “If you’re asking if I’m in love with you, then also, yes.”

My mouth dropped open. He’d said a fa
ir amount over the past week I’d been staying with him, words of endearment and declarations of devotion. But when I’d told him I loved him, he hadn’t said those three little words back.

It’s
amazing how much power three simple words held. But now that they were tumbling from his lips it felt surreal, it left me breathless. It seemed like I’d been waiting to hear them for what felt like an eternity. I wasn’t just a favourite pet. I wasn’t just entertainment or his bought and paid for property. I was the woman he was in love with.

“So, as long as we’re done, I’m starving.” Planting a quick kiss on my lips, Lance turned from me and began to mould the patties. “There’s also something important we need to discuss.”

After grabbing the butter from the fridge I prepared the frying pan and waited for the patties. “What’s that?”

He turned to me with an expression so
serious my heart, which was soaring with happiness, sank to the pit of my stomach. “Lance?”

Plopping the patties in the pan
he began to season them. “We’re leaving tomorrow.”

“Excuse me?” I couldn’t have heard correctly. He’d said it so casually, like it was something we did every
day. “Are you making me go back to the dungeon?”

“No, I mean, we’re leaving the compound – for good.”

“I don’t understand.” I pinched the skin on my forearm, thinking I must be dreaming. A jolt of pain shimmied up my arm. I was awake. “What do you mean?”

He turned to face me, leaning his hip against the counter. “I mean, tomorrow
The Boss is having guests here; it’s the biggest collection of business associates ever to gather anywhere. They have something in the works, so big I wasn’t even privy to the information. Virtually every important person in the organization will be here. It’s a collection of the worst of the worst. Heads of state for a couple different nations, warlords, traffickers, U.S. government officials, all the main people in the worldwide network who make it run so efficiently.”

I cocked my head to the side, eyeing him. “What does that have to do with us leaving? They’re not going to allow us to
just walk on out the front. Wouldn’t that be the worst time for us to try and leave?”

“
Not at all.” A smile crept onto his lips, his blue eyes gleaming with anticipation. It was the look of a man who was finally getting something he’d been waiting his entire life to receive. “Because by the end of tomorrow we’ll be the only people at the compound alive.”

Chapter 21

“I’m confused.” What in the hell was he talking about? Over the run of my stay at the compound I was always scared I was the one losing my mind, but perhaps he was also well on his way.

“I’ve been waiting for
this for a long, long time Gwen. I knew I had to wait until I had most of them together so I could do the most damage to the organization. Killing just The Boss and the men here wouldn’t be enough. It would be like chopping off a limb of a tree, another would grow back in a different place. In order to stop it, I needed to chop it down at the trunk. And it’s finally time. Years of planning
,
Gwen
,
and now it’s time.
” His smile was wide, anticipation in his eyes, like a kid at Christmastime.

I frowned. What he was saying was insane. “But, he’s your father?”

“He’s the man who murdered my mother. He’s a monster.”

“The Boss killed your mother?”

“I wasn’t supposed to find out the truth, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to connect the dots. She was blinded by love for the majority of their marriage, but eventually began to put the pieces together. Once she realized the monster she’d married, she was going to go public with what she knew. She called me and told me what she knew and as soon as she hung up the phone she contacted the FBI and the agent assigned to her happened to be on the organization’s payroll. He buried the case – after he brutally killed her, made it look like a break and enter gone bad. I didn’t have enough time to come home from college to discuss it rationally with her and formulate a plan. She went on her own and just did it.”

My hands flew to my mouth, my eyes widening in horror. “
Ohmygod! How can you even be around him knowing what he did?”

Grabbing a spatula from the drawer in front of him, he flipped the patties and they began to sizzle on the other side
as if we were discussing something trivial like the weather or who got voted off the island in
Survivor
. “Because I knew this day would be coming. I knew as long as I was patient he and all the others would get what they deserved. Once I learned how
not
to feel and had my emotions in check it was easy enough.”

“Jesus…” How could a person possibly keep anger like that in check? For years! It made no sense, but then again, in a way, that was what I was doing when I first arrived. 
“But that means you’ll be killing –”

“A lot of peo
ple,” he supplied. “That’s the point.”

“How are you even going to pull it off?” I saw in my mind’s eye Lance’s body being pummelled by bullets by the guards securing the grounds, or being captured in the middle of co
mpleting whatever he had cooked up and being beaten until there was nothing left of him to pound on. If losing Lance was the price of freedom, then I didn’t want it.

“I don’t have any veggies, are you good with mustard and ketchup?” he asked
, peeping his head into the fridge again and pulling out the condiments, ignoring my question.

“I don’t care about the veggies. How do you know you can pull it off? What if they catch you?”

He straightened and placed the condiments on the counter and then turned off the burner. “They won’t.”

“How do you know for sure?”

“Because I’ve spent years making sure they wouldn’t. I’ve got every angle planned – it’s foolproof. I wouldn’t be taking the chance if I thought for a second I couldn’t pull it off. I’ve sacrificed a lot for this moment, did things, things I have nightmares about. In essence I sold my soul. But it’ll be all worth it.”

I chewed at my lower lip, not even sure what to say. “What about the girls?”

He looked at me, his expression dark and unreadable.

My mouth dropped open. “What about the girls?” I repeated my question. He couldn’t possibly be considering leaving them behind. Collateral damage – another term he’d used
frequently. But they weren’t collateral damage, they were young women with families and futures. “Don’t you dare tell me to think about myself and not worry about everyone else!”

Lance thrust the ketchup and mustard under my nose. “Which one? Or both?”
Replacing the condiments on the counter, he pulled the skillet off the heat.

“Ketchup. What about the girls
, Lance?”

He prepared the burgers and passed me a plate with mine on it. “The ones th
at aren’t too far gone can come; Becca, Chloe and Claire.”

“What about Jenny?”

He frowned and nudged his chin in the direction of the table. “You haven’t seen her in over a week, Gwen…”

“And…” I sat down and continued to stare at him. He may be able to live with collateral damage, but I
didn’t think I could.

“She’s on the verge of snapping. If I were to attempt to take her, she’d likely attempt to kill me and/or hurt one of the others in the process of trying to escape.
She could see you as an enemy now and kill you, or use you to hurt me. I won’t take that risk.”

My frown deepened as I looked down at the burger, my appetite now non-existent. “Can’t you bind her so she can’t?”

Lance settled a stern gaze at me and gave his head a shake. “Gwen, there’s fourteen girls down there right now. It’ll be a challenge to get out the sane ones; if I’m trying to handle the crazies we’ll never make it out in time.”

My temper flared as I thought of poor Mia, sitting in the middle of a cell wallpapered in soiled toilet paper. “They’re crazy because you guys made them that way!
Mia was a boxer. Becca was a med student. The twins could have been anything they wanted to be. You guys stole it from them.”

“I didn’t steal a
goddamned thing!”

“I vaguely recall you saying guilty by association not too long ago to me.”

“Taking the unstable ones could ruin everything. We could all end up dying. For what, to save them from a lifetime playing with finger paint in an institution?”

He wasn’t going to be swayed. Reasoning with him wasn’t going to work. On one level I
understood his reasoning. If I took emotion off of the table I could see how what he said made sense – but I didn’t have his ability to take emotion off of the table.

“If they all don’t go, I don’t go,” I whispered
, shocking myself with my words, but knowing they were true. I couldn’t live with myself if we left any of the innocent behind. Lance must have heard the conviction in my tone, because he leaned back in his chair and eyed me with scrutiny, his brow furrowing.

“I could drug you. Force you to go without any of the others.”

I looked up and into his eyes. “And you know I’d hate you for it.”

His jaw clenched and he thrust a hand into his dark hair. “Please Gwen,
for once, would you listen to reason.”

I shook my head. “They deserve a chance to go back to their lives just as much as I do.”

“Dammit Gwen, this could ruin everything.”

I said nothing, but continued to hold his stare. I’d said all I could.

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll spend the evening trying to figure a way to get us all out safely. If I can then we take them all, if I can’t then we take the ones who can be saved. But even if I have to spend the rest of my life with you hating me, you will be getting out; I love you too much to see you die for a lost cause.”

Without another word he left the kitchen, leaving me staring blankly at my untouched hamburger.

~*~*~*~*~

“Are you awake?” I asked, rolling over to my side
and facing Lance, who was lying on his back with his eyes closed, his hands laced behind his head. Neither one of us had spoken a word all evening. He stared blankly at the television watching rerun episodes of
Seinfeld
and I pretended to be engrossed in my book, although both of our minds were on the same thing – tomorrow.

“Yes.
Just thinking.” His eyes opened and he looked over at me, gracing me with a partial smile. “You should be sleeping, you need your rest Gwen. It’s going to be an overwhelming day for you.”

“I’m sorry.”

The tension in his muscles drained and he shifted so he was on his side facing me. “For what?”

I ran my finger along the contours of muscle in his chest; the bruises had all faded and his rib looked fine, although I knew it still bothered him slightly. “For saying I’d hate you for not getting the others out. You saved me, I couldn’t ever hate you, Lance.” I huffed, my face flushing. “If anything you’re my hero.”

“I’m hardly a hero.” He fingered a lock of my golden hair and placed a kiss on my forehead. “Don’t be so quick to say you could never hate me, there’s still a lot you need to learn about me. You don’t know a thing about what I’ve done to get to this point in time – to this moment. I’ve paid a high price in the name of vengeance.”

“Then tell me, I want to know everything.”

“When we’re out of here.”

“Have you figured out a way to save the girls?”

He released my lock of hair and ran his index finger along my jaw. “We’ll need to drug the problem ones
. An injection will knock them out for roughly five hours, long enough to get them far from here and us far from them before anyone starts looking for survivors. I can grab a laundry cart, not exactly ideal, but it’s the best I can come up with.”

“So we get out and then leave them?”

“Yeah. I have clothing and money set aside in a van hidden in the woods about a mile from the gates that can be split between them all to get them home, or wherever they wish to go. Getting them in the cart over the gravel road is going to be a fucking bitch.”

“H
ow many will need to be sedated?”

“
Four. Jenny, of course.” He flashed me a wry smile. “One of the new girls, Felicity, she’s almost as hard to handle as Jenny. Then we have Gabriella and Sam, they’re completely submissive now, so likely won’t want to go without Tanner there telling them to – considering he’ll be dead that isn’t going to happen. The others I think should be okay once they realize that we’re getting them out and not going to hurt them.”

“So how are you going to do it?”

“Do what?”

“Kill them all.” I
wasn’t sure if I really wanted to know, but I had to ask.

“That’s not something you need to know. Just know, when I get back here
we move fast. You’re to do as I say, no questions asked. We’ll have lots of time for questions and arguing later. Are we clear?”

“We’re clear.” He sounded so sure and confident, not even a tremble of uncertainty in his voice or expression. I closed my eyes and envisioned myself showing up on my parents’ doorstep. I couldn’t wait to see the happiness in their eyes. I swore then and there I’d never take them for granted again.