Trust: Betrayed (41 page)

He cupped her face in his big hands as he rested his forehead on hers, whispering, “I love you, Sophia. Please, don’t make me wait too long.”

Atwood House, Gabriela’s bedroom.

8.25 p.m.

Alistair laid down a sleeping Gabriela on her bed and gently batted Sophia’s hand away from the coverlet, “Leave this to me.” He tugged it around the child’s small body and bent to kiss her blonde head, murmuring, “Sweet dreams, Fairy.”

They walked quietly out of the room.

Alistair hesitated in the TV room. A gut feeling told him he was not going to be invited to sleep over. “I will see myself out,” he said. “There is no need to go down with me.”

Sophia’s hand shot out to hold his.

He stopped and a light illuminated his face.

“Have dinner with me. A quick snack. I mean... If you feel-”

He stepped in her direction and rested her head on his chest, burying his nose in her hair, “Thank you.”

Sophia startled at the intensity of the feelings he put in those two words.
Oh, God. What am I doing to this fierce man?

10.50 p.m.

“Good night, then.” She stood on her tiptoes and gave a little peek on his lips.

Alistair paused a moment on the threshold. “Sophia... Take your time. Think about it, please,” Alistair said in a small voice. “I don’t mind waiting for as long as it takes-”

She put a finger on his lips. “I’ll think about it. Good night. Sleep well, my dear.” She waved him good-bye and walked inside the house as Zareb closed the double doors.

Alistair closed the car door and touched the intercom, “Garrick, my place. Then pick up Tavish Uilleam at Alice’s house and take him home.”

“Yes, sir.” Garrick didn’t like his boss’s dispirited voice. Not at all. He was going to make sure that his brother knew what was happening. He decided he was not going to take Alistair home. Instead, without Alistair noticing, Garrick texted Tavish and drove over to Alice’s first.

Sophia turned to Zareb as he closed the gates. “I’ll be going out in the Mercedes in... ten minutes, I believe.”

Zareb’s eyes widened and he looked at her and back to her face. “Mrs. Leibowitz, you are not fit to drive-”

“I don’t want to disturb Steven. He is probably sleeping by now. Then, please, call me a taxi. I’m not going far.”

Zareb stiffened, clearly offended, and towered over her. His usual smiling face was stern. “Mrs. Leibowitz, I’m sorry. You are not going anywhere, driving or in a taxi. It’s not safe. You shouldn’t be alone. I will call Steven and we are taking you wherever you need.”

Sophia bit her lip. She knew Zareb was right.

However she doubted she had the courage to ask her driver and bodyguard to take her to a sex shop.

Alistair MacCraig’s Apartment.

11.14 p.m.

And with that, the stubborn, unmanageable woman waved me good-bye and walked inside. It seems ages ago. I need her back. I want to be back at her house. I want to rip off her clothes and fuck her until she knows - and I know - she’s still mine. Only mine.
Alistair pushed his thoughts to the back of his mind. He couldn’t allow his desire to rule his actions. Not now.

She was so pale and I’m sure it wasn’t only from the pain.
He worried about what had happened; everything had been going so smoothly.
She said she needed time to think, right, but then... Fuck! Stop thinking about the past and get on with some plan to make her realize you are the one for her.

“Alistair Connor? Is everything all right?” Tavish cocked his head. Alistair hadn’t uttered a single word on the ride over. When Tavish asked if he needed company Alistair just nodded vaguely.

Alistair didn’t even hear his brother’s question.

“Alistair Connor.” Tavish’s call came to him through a haze of confusion, passion and fear, all mixed together. “Alistair Connor! Snap out of it! What are you staring at?”

“The...” Awkwardly, Alistair cleared his throat and helplessly glanced around. “The paintings.”

Tavish looked at him through squinted eyes.

“What?” He looked at his whisky and noticed that he hadn’t drunk it. He gulped it down in a single toss.

“I can never remember, are the pupils larger when someone’s drunk or smaller?”

“Drunk? I am not drunk!”

“Then you’re on drugs. You’re staring at the fucking paintings like you’re aroused.” He rose a mocking eyebrow. “At least I hope you’re on something, otherwise we have bigger problems than I thought.”

Alistair didn’t feel like answering. He felt like brooding. He stood up and paced the room.

Tavish sat down, resting his face on his palm, and observed his brother as he raked a hand through his long hair. He understood that jokes weren’t going to make Alistair talk.

“All right. Spill, Alistair Connor. You look even more worried now than you did on the plane.”

“I am,” he agreed, grabbing the bottle of whisky. He kicked Tavish out of his favorite armchair and slouched in it. “I’m an asshole, Tavish Uilleam.”

“Oh, man. This is new.” Tavish laughed. “I never thought I’d agree with you a hundred percent.” Tavish sat in front of Alistair. “You are, Alistair Connor. You’re a huge asshole.”

“Shut up. It’s complicated.”

“Uncomplicate it then,” he chuckled.

“I think I lost her.” The words left Alistair’s mouth without permission.

“Jesus!” Tavish sat upright on the armchair. “How?”

I don’t know. And if my suspicions are right I can’t tell you.
“And you know what’s worse... I... truly don’t know why. I’m afraid, Tavish Uilleam.” He suddenly understood his loss, deeply, and it squeezed the air from his chest. There was a scared look in his eyes that would surprise those who saw only the hard, blunt surface that he showed the world.

“Why?”

“She’s driving me mad. She is cold and barely civil with me-”

“You are talking about Sophia, right? Your Sophia? Cold? Uncivil?” Tavish shook his head. “Impossible, she’s a dear.”

“Oh, aye, she is. A dear, an angel, a beauty, a goddess. Everything. Anything.” He ran a hand over his face, gulped down his whisky. “I proposed,” he sighed deeply, “and she refused.”

To his credit, Tavish did not swear, nor did he laugh. He merely stared at Alistair as if he had just announced that the world would end in the next minute.

“I beg your pardon?” Tavish was speechless, confused by Alistair’s action and Sophia’s response. “What happened? From the beginning, please.”

“That’s not so bad, is it? Asking for time to think?” Alistair asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m in love with her, Tavish Uilleam. Crazy in love. Insanely in love.”

“As if she weren’t too.” Thoughts were again starting to form coherently in Tavish’s mind. “She looks at you with adoration in her eyes. Both of them do actually. Sophia and Gabriela.” He shook his head, “I don’t get it... Maybe she just needs some time. To digest what she’s remembered.”

“I don’t think that’s it.”
Come on, Alistair Connor. Man up and talk to your brother. He gives good advice.
Alistair opened his mouth and closed it again.
No. Wait.

“So what is it then?”

“I don’t know,” Alistair shook his head disheartened and repeated quietly, “I don’t know.”

London, On the way to Soho.

11.31 p.m.

Catching her bottom lip between her teeth, Sophia mulled over the last months of her life.

In truth, she was caught completely off guard by Alistair’s proposal. It filled her with hope, elation, and a fear so deep she choked on it. Everything she wanted was right there at her fingertips. She could take it and know he offered it truly. The memory of what she saw in his dressing room flooded her mind and she remembered the times Alistair had asked for the pain and violence thing.

Her car stopped.

Should I give him a chance? Should I? How can I know what it’s like without trying? And do I want to try?
She breathed deep and without looking at Steven, who held the door open for her, with his usual impassive face, alighted from her Jaguar. She looked both ways and chewed her lip.
Damn, Alistair Connor. Damn you.

Sophia took a deep breath, mustered all her courage and pushed open the door to the sex shop. She stopped inside, unsure.

At that time of the night, the shop was still busy.

“Good evening,” a short, middle-aged plump woman approached as she noticed Sophia’s insecurity. She smiled, friendly, “I’m Mary. May I help you?”

God. She looks like a kindergarten teacher. What is she doing here? Oh, please, Sophia, stop wondering about other people’s lives.
“H-Hi,” she stammered. “I, ah... I have a party to go-”
Oh, yeah, Sophia. A party to go to on a Monday, at midnight.

“Yes?” The attendant didn’t even blink. She’d heard many weird excuses over the years.

Sophia cleared her throat, “I have a party to go to and I’m supposed to take a gift for-”
Think, think!
“my newly divorced friend with some- Ah... Something.”

“I see.” The expression on the woman’s face didn’t reveal if she knew Sophia was lying. “And do you have something in mind? Lingerie or a dildo, perhaps?”

The attendant motioned to a wall covered with dildos and vibrators. Of every length and width imaginable. And many other things that Sophia didn’t even recognize.

Sophia walked over to the wall and paused in front of it, biting her lip so hard it turned white. She tilted her head to read the name of the strange thing she was looking at.

“That’s an anal bead with a clitoral stimulator. It’s waterproof. You can use it in the shower or in the tub, with lube.”

“Ah...” Sophia blushed. “I see.”
How does she talk about this so naturally?

“And this one here is new but it’s already a super seller.” Mary pointed to two linked silver balls connected to a remote control.

“What is this for?” Sophia raised her brows.

“Oh. They are very nice. These balls have four pulse-racing vibration speeds. It’s good to warm up on the lowest setting, then ramp up through medium, high, and finish yourself off with the powerful super. And if she likes clitoral stimulation, she can place one of the balls inside her and stimulate the clit with the other.”

If Mary had looked at Sophia’s face she would have stopped talking. Sophia was blushing furiously. But she carried on animatedly describing the toy. “Or even! These balls can also be used anally for more wicked fun. Oh. And the controller can be disconnected and used with other compatible sex toys. What do you think? It’s different. Would your friend like it?”

She lowered her voice to a whisper, “No. She’s into... stronger things.”

“Hard core? BDSM, maybe?”

BD What?
“Whips, handcuffs, you know... Those kind of things,” Sophia murmured.

Mary took a good look at Sophia’s face then. She narrowed her eyes noticing the long natural hair, her washed bruised face, long-sleeved purple T-shirt, flared dark jeans and asked, “May I see your ID, please?”

“My ID? What for?”

“It’s illegal to sell sex toys to minors,” explained Mary.

Sophia almost broke into hysterical laughter, but managed to shove it deep down, fumbled with her purse and showed Mary her driver’s license.

“Thanks. Come through here,” the middle-aged woman strolled farther into the shop and looked at her watch discreetly.

Sophia did the same.
Past midnight and I’m buying sex devices. I must have gone insane.

They went through a curtained door and Sophia sucked in a breath.

She had entered a world made of black and red leather. Most of them had a purpose Sophia couldn’t even begin to imagine. They stared back at her, making the blood rush from her face and making her feel dizzy.
What have I gotten myself into?

“Are you feeling okay?”

Sophia looked down at the woman and noticed Mary was watching her with a concerned look.

“Y-yes. Yes, I am.”

Mary pointed and explained to Sophia the myriad of products until she could bear no more.

“Mary, please, I just need a strange whip with many tails. That is what I’m supposed to take. Can you chose one for me?”

“Ah, a cat-o-nine or a flogger. Any special kind?”

“Is there more than one kind?” Sophia was bewildered.

“Oh, yes. They can be plain, braided, with beads, fangs. We have a nice collection: Natasha, made of sharkskin, is our new addition. Come this way.”

Mary stopped in front of a long rack where more than fifty types of cats and floggers, in different colors and sizes hung neatly.

Sophia pointed to one, absentmindedly, “This will do.”

“Are you sure?”

“No, I’m not. But since I have no experience in this, I can’t judge it, can I?”

Mary pursed her lips and picked out two different floggers, showing them to Sophia, “Why don’t you start with this one,” she raised the one in her right hand, “instead of the one with fangs? This one is made from bullhide. Its thicker leather has both thud and bite. It’s a beautiful top-grain leather, thick yet supple. It can easily serve both for warm-ups and moderate end play.” She demonstrated it on her own thigh.

Sophia almost choked.

Then Mary raised her other hand and calmly continued the explanation, “Or you can take this one. It’s lighter and special. One of our best suppliers managed to find a small source of quality horsehides. This material has many unique properties. It’s strong and durable even in extreme conditions and, unlike other types of hides, it’s naturally waterproof.”