Trusting Him (25 page)

"Katherine, I called your parents. They're going to get you some help. We're going to take you to the hospital." He should have called an ambulance from the house where he'd found her, but she had seemed fine at the time.

Not fine, but definitely not in need of immediate medical attention.

"I can't believe you're doing this to me." Her words were tossed out in an angry wave, but her voice was raspy, not at all strong.

"Yes, I'm a horrible person."

"You're a jerk." She tried to pull free from his restraining hand. He tightened his grip. "You've found religion, so now you think we all need to find some for ourselves."

"I can only pray that you will, but that isn't why I'm doing this. I'm doing this because I care about you. We've been friends for a long time, and I don't want you to die."

"Did you ever stop to think that I want to die?" She spoke in words barely above a whisper now. "Why did you have to save me? You know that I'm dying anyway."

"You can be treated for Hep C."

"Yes, treated." She chewed on her bottom lip as she looked away from him.

Tires hummed on the paved road. He looked up, expecting company, not expecting to see Maggie's car driving past. Oh, Maggie. He sighed when she slowed, started to turn, but then went on. Maggie.

He held on to Katherine's arm, knowing that Maggie would assume the worst, and he couldn't do anything about it.

"Michael, let me go."

"I can't. You have to get help."

"I don't want help."

"I think you do." He held on to her. "I want you better."

"I know." She leaned her head down. "I want to be better. I just don't know if I can do it."

"I'll be here to help." He kept his hand on her arm, knowing that even now she could be playing him. And he really needed to call Maggie.

As they drove past Michael's, Faith put a comforting hand on Maggie's arm. Deep breath, Maggie shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts and the horrible ache.

"I'm fine."

Faith looked apologetic, she had no reason to be. "No, you're not."

"I'm not my mother. I'm not going to spend my life waiting for one man to show up in my life. I'm not waiting for him to rescue me or make my world right."

"Of course you aren't."

"I was content before Michael Carson and I'll be content without him."

"You were very content."

Maggie pulled to the side of the road as her cell phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and shook her head. "Stop patronizing me, Faith. I know what you're thinking."

"Maybe you should stop jumping to conclusions and answer the phone. Maybe he can explain."

Maggie gave Faith the look, the one that told her friend to stop looking for easy answers. Maggie had come to her senses, Faith needed to do the same.

He was with another woman, probably his friend Katherine. Common sense told her she needed answers, and the answers could only come from Michael, but the part of her that hurt wanted to crawl off somewhere and lick her wounds until she healed.

It seemed impossible, that she had fallen so deeply in love with him. But then, it wasn't really impossible. The Michael who had held her hand, cared about her kids and sent her dinner, was the Michael she had allowed into her life and her heart.

He was the Michael who instinctively knew that healing would begin in her life when she confronted her dad. He had done that for her.

After all of that, shouldn't she do as he asked and trust him? Shouldn't she give him a chance to explain? That seemed reasonable, but self-preservation said that any explanation he gave could be a lie. Maybe it had all been a lie.

Tears burned her eyes as she remembered how it had felt to be cared about by Michael Carson. And how it felt to have him walk away. Stupid tears. She wiped them away with the back of her hand and let the phone ring. It didn't stop. Mozart continued to play in bell tones that rattled her nerves.

"Answer it, Maggie." Faith handed her the phone she had set back down on the console between the seats.

"I can't. Not right now."

"You're being stubborn."

"No, I'm not. It might look like I'm being stubborn, but what I'm doing is protecting myself. My mother spent fourteen years waiting for Jacob Simmons to come back. Until the end she believed his lies."

"Michael isn't Jacob Simmons."

Maggie shifted her car into Drive and pulled back onto the road, heading away from the trailer where Michael was with another woman. "No, Michael isn't anything like my father. What scares me is that I'm a lot like my mother."

And the only way to solve that problem was to take control of her life. She had to move forward and make real changes.

"I think I'm going to take my father up on his offer to visit my family in Illinois. A change of scenery is probably the perfect cure."

For a broken heart.

Michael wasn't going to let Maggie get away with ignoring him, but he had to wait a few days for things to settle down. Katherine's parents had taken her to a treatment facility and Vince was in jail. Michael had started reclaiming his life. He had talked to his parents and then to Pastor Banks. He had explained what he could and apologized for any pain he had caused.

Maggie was the one person he had yet to talk to. He wanted to have the right words to explain. And she had to be willing to listen. When he called her on Friday she didn't answer, not the first call. He wasn't giving up. He called again thirty minutes later. That time she answered. The reaction to her voice took him by surprise. It felt like coming home after a long time away.

It was like rain after a long drought. It washed over him, comforting, refreshing. He had known he missed her, at that moment he realized just how much he missed her.

"Michael." Her voice trembled, or at least it sounded that way to him. He wished he could see her, so he could read her expression.

"Maggie, you finally answered."

"I had to. I wanted to let you know that I'm going to Illinois for a few weeks. I have vacation time I haven't taken for a few years."

"When are you leaving?" His heart thudded heavily at the idea of losing her again. If he had ever really had her.

What if the feelings were one-sided? What if she didn't feel what he felt? Or if she had, what if his actions over the past few weeks had pushed her permanently from his life?

"Maggie, I would at least like a chance to explain."

"You don't have to."

"I do have to. I know that you have questions about what has been going on with me. You saw Katherine at my place. I was trying to help her, nothing more."

"It's okay, Michael. Pastor Banks told me everything. He thought I should know. He wanted me to know that you'll be back with us."

So she knew, and she was still leaving? His heart plummeted.

"Maggie…"

"Michael, you have to find your way. That's what you've been doing. You had things you felt a need to take care of. Now I have things I have to take care of. We all make choices. You have to find your path and the direction God is taking you."

"Maggie, I can't have this conversation on the phone." He needed to see her, to hold her.

She didn't answer. At first he thought she had hung up, but then she spoke again, her voice strong. "There's no need for that. We can talk when I get back. I left some materials on my desk, some books to help you plan activities for the kids."

"That's it, then?"

"That's it. I'll see you soon. 'Bye for now."

And then she was gone.

Maggie was proud of herself. She didn't cry until she clicked her phone closed and dropped it in her purse. After that the tears rolled down her cheeks.

Being strong shouldn't have felt so bad. She had told herself that this was the right thing to do. She needed time away, time to regroup and decide where her own path was leading. Michael needed time to regain his footing. He didn't need her to help him with that. What he'd done for the police proved that he was strong.

She had to prove to herself that she was just as strong. At first the thought of losing Michael had felt like the end of the world to her. And that had scared her. Those feelings had made her think of her mother's love for Jacob Simmons, a love that had held her mom captive until the very end.

Maggie could move on. She was moving on.

Only her heart didn't agree. Her heart was telling her that a forever love wouldn't be such a bad thing. She knew better. It would be a bad thing if the love was one-sided.

She picked up the phone to call the airport. If she was going to Illinois, she needed to make this call. She would get her plane ticket. That would finalize the process.

A car door slammed. Maggie put the phone down and walked to the front door. Grandma was quilting with friends. Faith was visiting her parents for the day. She had a sneaking suspicion that she knew who would be at the door, and her heart clued her in to the fact that she wasn't as willing to walk away as she thought.

She peeked out the window. Michael was heading her way, looking like someone about to storm the gates of the castle.

She opened the door as he lifted his hand. "Michael, I don't— "

"No— " he put his hand up "— you're going to listen to me. I won't let you walk away from me without telling you this."

The fight left her. "Okay, I'll listen."

He reached for her hands and then he took a step closer.

"You told me to find my own path." His voice was husky and shaky with emotion. Maggie felt her heart quiver, and start to cave in response to his touch.

"Yes."

"Maggie, you might not see this, but I do. You said I have to find my own path, and I have.
You're
my path. Every time I want to hear something funny, if I need someone to lean on or a friend to share with, I think of you. You're the person I want to turn to. You are my path. These last few weeks were miserable, but I had to keep you safe. To do that I had to distance myself. But you were never far away. You were always with me. Thoughts of you kept me going."

"Michael, I missed you." She didn't know what else to say. She had planned on fighting him, on keeping her distance from a broken heart.

"Maybe God's plan has always been about the two of us."

She closed her eyes, trying to imagine that and wanting it to be true. "Maybe."

"Maggie, I want to be the person who doesn't let you down." He half laughed at that. "I guess I'm not off to a good start. Maybe now is a good time to accept that sometimes I might let you down, but not because I want to or mean to."

"Am I missing the first part of this conversation?"

"Yes, I had it with myself on the way over here. It started with me realizing how much I need you in my life and how imperfect I am. And it ended with me realizing that I never want to let you down, but because I'm human, I probably will."

"None of us is perfect."

"No, we aren't. But we have a God who is, and He's my reason for walking a little straighter and trying a little harder. And you're the reason that I wake up every day, knowing I can walk that line."

Maggie's heart tripped all over as he said those words.

"I'm not perfect, either." Her words came out in a breathless rush. "I spent a lot of time thinking the worst. I wanted to jerk you out of the mess you seemed to be making of your life."

"I love you for that, for wanting to rescue me."

"You love me?" With breathless wonder she stepped into his arms.

"I'm sort of hoping that you feel the same way."

"I do." She leaned into his embrace, resting her forehead in that comfortable place on his shoulder, a place where she fit so perfectly. "I love you. I've missed you so much."

"So much it hurt?"

"How did you know?"

"Because I felt the same way." His tender gaze held hers in its grasp, the way he had held her hand just moments ago, melting her heart in the process. "And it hurt when I knew you had stopped trusting me."

A flash of pain shot through his eyes.

"I'm sorry. But I didn't stop trusting, not really. I was hurt because you kept pushing me away."

He pulled her into his arms. His gaze swept over her face as he lowered his head and his lips touched hers, grazing them lightly and then returning for something deeper, something that answered all of Maggie's questions about Michael and what she felt for him.

She pulled back, brushing her cheek against his as his arms captured her and held her close.

"I love you, Maggie. You helped me realize that I'm strong enough for myself and strong enough for you." He whispered the words against her ear.

She turned into his embrace. He held her lightly, giving her the freedom to lean back and look up into his eyes. "I love you, too. And I don't ever want to repeat another three weeks like the ones we've had. I felt lost without you."

"Trust me, Maggie, I won't ever let that happen again. If I have my way, we'll be together forever."

"I trust you."

He kissed her again, with the sun setting behind the deep green of the trees and the sky a delicate lavender and coral backdrop. And he promised he'd do his best to never let her down.

She believed him.

Four months later…

M
ichael stood at the front of the church and if he tried, he could convince himself that this day was like any other. But it wasn't. Today the church was crowded with friends and family who would witness Maggie Simmons and Michael Carson becoming husband and wife.

His wife. His heart reacted to that word, to the amazing truth. Maggie was going to be his wife. Pastor Banks stood at the front of the church.

The music started and emotion welled up in his throat. He didn't know if it would be possible to feel even more than he already felt, not without his heart exploding. And what if the guys saw his tears?

They were walking down the aisle. Jimmy walked with Faith, and he could tell from her grin and Jimmy's pained look that Maggie was wrong in thinking their two friends would make a good couple.