Truth (20 page)

“
I can’t believe their son
is actually one. I’ve missed so much.”

“
Honey,” Courtney’s voice
reflected her look of concern, “there’re some people who truly
believe you tried to kill him.”

Claire looked down into her glass. “I
assumed.”

“
Just so you know, I’m not
one.”

“
Brent?”

“
No. He doesn’t believe it
either. Let’s just say, we have a different perspective than
most.”

Claire reached out and grabbed Courtney’s
hand. Her green eyes glistened as tears teetering on the rims.
“Thank you, for believing in me. I know I can’t prove it. But just
knowing there’re people who believe me and support me; it means the
world.”

They cried and laughed. They chatted,
laughed some more, and cried some more. When the sun rose they were
both exhausted. Sleepily they stood at the railing and watched the
dark sky fill with light as a red hue spilled across the Gulf of
Mexico. Eventually, the red became orange, brightening the sky
until the black became blue. They both agreed; sleep was in
order.

So many memories of their friendship filled
Claire’s mind as she settled into the queen sized bed.
Instantaneously, sleep overtook her.

Unbelievably, she didn’t stir until after 1
PM. Looking at the clock, she couldn’t believe the time. Walking
into the empty living room she found a note:

Hi Honey – I’m at the pool.
There’s coffee in the pot. Before you come join me, please look at
some papers on the kitchen table. I hoped it would be easier for
you to read this without me looking over your shoulder. Brent
accidently received this information via Marcus Evergreen. He never
should’ve had it, read it, or shared it with me. There’d probably
be stiff legal ramifications if it were discovered. Of course, Tony
doesn’t know we have it or read it. Those ramifications don’t need
to be said, we all know they’d be stiff. Please know
we love you and believe every
word
. I hope you’ll come down and talk to
me when you’re finished.

Love – Cort

Although, only about seven yards from the
living room to the kitchen, Claire’s feet suddenly weighed a ton
apiece; with each step, her goal seemed farther away. She could see
the binder thick with pages. At one time, before she married Tony,
he showed her the article written by Meredith Banks, and another
time, he had the news release of Simon’s death. Both of those
experiences came rushing back. Claire wasn’t sure what the binder
held. Somehow, she knew, it wasn’t good.

Sitting her mug of coffee
and muffin on the table, she exhaled and opened the binder. Inside
she read:
January 31, 2012, Paul Task,
Attorney At Law - Preliminary brief - State of Iowa vs. Rawlings,
Claire.
Claire thumbed through the pages,
catching a word here and a phrase there. She didn’t need to read it
word for word, she’d spoken it. Hell -- she’d lived it. The account
of her life with Tony,
the
truth
, was right there in black and white.
It wasn’t all inclusive, that was even stated, but it was
descriptive. From her abduction, to his abuse, his punishments, his
controlling nature, her near death
accident
, his change of behavior,
their marriage, his control, his domination… and the reason she
drove away from the estate. At two thirty her cup was empty and the
muffin was cold, stiff, and still wrapped in a shiny
tin.

Claire stared at the open
binder and wondered what to do, what to say. Other than outsiders,
her attorneys and Dr. Warner, she hadn’t discussed any of this with
anyone. She felt a twinge of panic
, if
Tony finds out that they know... Oh God! It’s a direct violation of
his rules.

Leaving the binder open
she went to her bedroom to put on her bathing suit. Claire
realized
this was the information Courtney
wanted to share-- in person. She really did know.
Claire remembered the cathartic feeling she
experienced when divulging all of this to her attorneys. However,
with Dr. Warner it was different. Claire felt ashamed, like it was
somehow her fault; she allowed all these things to happen. Dr.
Warner agreed, well -- in so many words. Claire allowed Tony to
dominate her.

How could she face Courtney and look in her
eyes, knowing she had allowed herself to be abused and had
lied?

Claire meant to go to the pool. However,
somewhere during the process of getting ready, she collapsed on her
bed and released years of suppressed tears. They didn’t stop.
Unknowingly, she drifted to sleep wearing her new white bikini.
Wakefulness came with the sensation of a warm soft hand rubbing her
exposed back. She didn’t turn around. Instead she kept her face
buried in the damp soft pillow and choked out her apology, “I’m so
sorry.”

Claire expected
compassion. Instead Courtney’s voice was stern,
“
You
are sorry?”
Heavy emphasis on
you,
“Claire, please turn around.” Slowly she did. Courtney looked
at her puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. “Girl – what in the hell
do
you
have to be
sorry for? It seems to me, the rest of us are the ones who should
be sorry!”

It didn’t make sense to Claire. She was the
one who allowed Tony to abuse her. She was the one who lied to
everyone, especially Courtney. How many times did Courtney ask
Claire if everything was all right? And every time, she lied.

The tears resumed, “I lied to you. I lied to
you -- many times. I let things happen.”

“
Honey,
everyone
lets
thing happen around Anthony Rawlings. What were
you supposed to do? Do you think if you’d stood up to him more,
he’d have backed down?” Claire couldn’t answer. She didn’t want to
discuss any of this. It made her head hurt. “Let me tell you
something, it may not be physical -- like you endured -- but we’re
all victims of your ex-husband. Do you think for a minute we
would’ve let you go to jail, much less to prison, if we weren’t
scared of what Tony might do?”

Claire stared at Courtney in disbelief,
wiping her nose with the back of her hand, Claire asked, “What do
you mean, scared?”

“
I mean scared, like
frightened. We’re putting all of our cards on the table, right?”
Claire nodded; Courtney continued, “We all know Tony has power – a
lot of power. Brent isn’t ready to retire, and there’s no way he
can walk away from Tony. Besides, most of our money is tied up in
Rawlings Industries’ stock, or it was. We never discussed a fear of
physical retaliation, but Brent convinced me our lives and possibly
those of our children would suffer unseen consequences if we came
clean about this information.”

“
How long have you
known?”

“
Since before your
divorce. The file was on a pen drive from Evergreen’s office. Like
my note said, it shouldn’t have been there, and Brent shouldn’t
have read it.”

Claire turned her head into the soft pillow
and exhaled. Slowly, she sat and looked her friend in the eye. She
truly was at a loss for words and completely uncomfortable with the
mixture of emotions swirling inside her chest.

“
Claire, I understand why
you didn’t tell me. I wish you would’ve. I had this feeling things
were different than they appeared. Truthfully, I had no idea the
enormity of the situation. I understand you couldn’t say
anything.”

“
If I would’ve, I wouldn’t
have been allowed to see you.” A sob came from somewhere deep,
buried under years of suppression. “I needed you.”

The two women hugged like never before.
After a time Courtney started to laugh, “Aren’t you glad you came
all this way, for all this fun?”

Claire looked into her honest blue eyes now
reddened like her own and snickered, “At this moment, I’m not too
sure.”

“
I am. I needed you to
know what we know. I needed you to know we understand. And, if for
some reason you feel responsible, or like you deserved something,
anything that happened to you… you’re sadly mistaken. I told you
once; I loved and hated your husband. That’s still probably true.
He’s capable of wonderful things. We just never knew the extent to
which he’s capable of terrible things.”

Courtney continued,
“Claire, you’re a saint for loving him despite all of that.
Please,
never
think you deserved any of it. No one should endure what that
brief says you endured.” Courtney shook her head, “The thing I keep
thinking is -- I really believed he loved you. I believed you loved
him too. As his friends, we worried about a woman wanting him for
his money. I never got that feeling from you.”

“
I wish I could explain
it.” Claire replied, “Hell -- I wish I could explain it to myself.
When I met him, I didn’t know who he was. Even after he took me to
his house, I didn’t know who he was. Believe me, I hated him. I
told him how much I hated him, multiple times. Maybe it was the
isolation; I didn’t have contact with anyone but him. Yet, overtime
I did love him, or I thought I loved him. And, he
did
get better, a lot
better.” Claire smiled a sad smile. “I think it’s true. Love and
hate are very close emotions, both intense and consuming. Even
after he left me in jail, and still today, I find myself struggling
with those two emotions.” Claire shook her head. “I know it doesn’t
make sense. It’s just that when he was good, he could be
so
good. When he wasn’t…
It was just... there was always so much stress and pressure.”
Claire thought about Brent. “I think
you
do understand. I think if anyone
would, it would be Brent and you. I’ve seen that same stress on
Brent’s face.”

Courtney nodded, “I’m glad you believe me.
We wanted to help you. We weren’t sure it would pay-off. Honey, it
wasn’t throwing away our money. It was more than worth it!”

Claire sat straight. Her mouth gaped with
surprise. Finally words came from her lips, “Oh my god, it was
you?” Courtney nodded again. “Of course, the petition was filled
out. An attorney would know how to do that. Brent’s an attorney.”
Claire’s voice sounded shrill with amazement and gratitude. “Let me
pay you back. I can now. I sold the jewelry.”

“
No. Consider it guilt
money. We were so helpless, wanting to do anything to stop what was
happening to you -- like you said, it was a risk -- a good risk
that paid off.”

Claire hugged her again. “So it’s true,
Brent does believe me.”

“
I said he
did.”

“
Yes, I know you said...
but he
really
does. It’s just when he came to the prison…”

Courtney interrupted, “Tony warned him. He
said the tapes from those visitors’ rooms were available for a
price. He told Brent the visit was strictly business.”

“
Did Tony ever watch the
video?”

Courtney smiled, “I don’t know. Brent hoped
he would.”

“
Why?”

“
Because, when Brent came
home he was so impressed by you. He didn’t know what to expect and
didn’t want to face you.”

“
He didn’t have a choice,
did he?”

“
No, he didn’t. Yet,
afterwards he was glad he went. He talked about your strength,
resilience, and determination. I don’t know if you remember, but
you told him to tell Tony to bring on the liable case, that you’d
be glad to testify to a larger audience.” Claire grinned and
nodded, she’d said that. “Of course, Tony wouldn’t tell Brent what
warranted such a case, but Brent knew. He also knew – there was no
way Tony would pursue it. It was some stupid mind game. Honestly,
we don’t know if it was meant to hurt you or Brent, but I can tell
you, it inspired Brent.”

“
Inspired?” Claire
asked.

“
Yes, we knew before then
we wanted to distance ourselves and Caleb from Rawlings Industries.
Seeing your strength, being away from him – in prison no less --
has been a constant reminder to us to stay the course.”

“
I’m glad. I remember
feeling bad for Brent when he left.” Claire’s eyes were drying. She
couldn’t believe she had this support – from Tony’s
closest friends
.

The two ladies went to the
pool and ate lunch. They lounged on chairs at the beach and sipped
drinks. They walked along the shore and talked about everything.
Claire even told Courtney about her mixed feelings regarding Tony.
She hated what he did. Nevertheless, sometimes she’d remember good
times and miss him too. Claire knew he wanted to see her and the
idea terrified her. She wasn’t afraid of a physical threat; she was
doing everything she could do to avoid a repeat of that history.
Honestly, it was
her own resolve
she questioned. If the charming, loving, friendly
Tony approached her – she wasn’t sure she could resist
him.

Claire told Courtney about
the dinner invitation. Surprisingly, Courtney didn’t try to
dissuade her. A few weeks ago a similar subject caused an argument
with Amber. Claire reasoned;
Courtney
knows Tony and truly understands
.

During the course of the
four days Claire told Courtney all about Tony’s box, his confession
of sorts. She hadn’t planned to divulge, but sharing felt too
liberating. She explained why Tony came for her in the first place,
all stemming from
her
grandfather’s help convicting
his
grandfather for multiple white
collar crimes. “It’s like everyone connected to the scenario thirty
years ago and their family has been made to pay, even Tony’s
parents.”