Truth (38 page)

He approached her warily. “You know, you are
the only person who can have me pissed off one minute and
completely dazzled the next. Why are you laughing?”

Claire shook her head, “I don’t know, shock,
absurdity? It seems I never know what’s coming. As much as I plan,
I’m continually blown away.”

Tony poured wine into each glass and handed
one to Claire. “Do you remember when we had wine at the Red
Wing?”

Claire closed her eyes, recalling the scene
from a lifetime ago, and nodded. “I do.”

“
I’d been watching you for
years. I was so nervous that night. I thought I was planning your
acquisition.” He looked into his red liquid.

Her stance straightened,
“If you’re using business metaphors, may I suggest
hostile takeover.
It’s
more appropriate.”

He took a sip of wine and exhaled, “Yes,
Claire,” standing close he looked solemnly down into her emerald
eyes, “and I have apologized for that.” He paused for a moment,
collecting his thoughts. “What I didn’t know, despite all my
research, as we sat talking was you. I mean, I knew everything
about you.” He shook his head reflectively, walked back to the sofa
and sat down. His long legs stretched out in front of him. Claire
noticed for the first time, how tired he looked. It was after all,
almost two in the morning in Iowa. “Yet, I didn’t know you.
Truthfully, at first, I had no desire to.”

“
Oh, really?” She asked
with intended sarcasm. “Because, I recall some pretty up close and
personal contact.”

Tony smirked, “Yes, I
wanted
that
. I
didn’t want to
know
you, like the real you. I fought it for months. But you were
this light that kept sucking me in. It wasn’t supposed to be that
way.
We
weren’t
supposed to happen.”

“
What was supposed to
happen?”

“
Well, the
takeover
,” he emphasized
the use of her term, “was supposed to stop you. I never expected
anyone to flourish under such circumstances.” He looked at Claire
with a gaze of admiration as he continued, “You didn’t just
flourish. You conquered.” He took another drink of his wine. “I’ve
continually underestimated you or perhaps I should say, you’ve
continually exceeded my expectations. You still do. You are the
only person who has ever derailed me. And more than anyone, you
know me, not Anthony Rawlings, me.”

Claire knew she’d had
the
rare opportunity
, as Catherine so eloquently told her once. She pushed
forward, “The real you. Would that be Anton?” His expression
morphed. Sadness fell like shadows over his face. The despair
reached into her chest, physical ache came at seeing his
expression.

He exhaled, “I suppose, yes, but not
anymore. I had it legally changed. So, you see, I didn’t lie. My
legal name is Anthony Rawlings, and it has been for a long
time.”

Claire stood. She wouldn’t
allow herself to feel pity. Instead she did what people do when
trying to avoid their true emotions; she lashed out, “You share
this with me now, but not when we’re married. That tells me that
you never trusted me,
the only person to
really know you
.” The last clause
emphasized. “Plus, you threw me away and left me to rot in prison.”
She exhaled in exasperation, “You say you love or loved me, past or
present. You don’t know what
love
is. You have an obsession and it really needs to
stop. Stop watching me. Stop having me watched. Your fun is done.
It’s over.”

He returned his gaze to the red liquid,
slowly swirling it within the confines of the crystal globe. His
words weren’t rushed, instead a slow release, divulging hidden
truths that only recently he’d come to know, “I don’t know how to
explain it. It was a loop hole. Don’t you understand?”

Claire stood motionless; she didn’t
understand.

“
I tried to help you.” His
eyes stared with need. “Anyone else would have jumped at the
insanity plea. I had a hospital all set; your commitment time
would’ve been negotiable. But no.” He stood once again, “No! You
refused! By doing that, you took your sentence away from
me
and gave it to the
state of Iowa. I no longer had influence over your release.” He
turned to face her and his volume increased, “Why did you have to
be so damn obstinate?”

“
Me? You’re
accusing
me
of
being obstinate? I didn’t want you in control of my life any
longer. I was willing to let the state of Iowa decide, rather than
you.”

Tony looked perplexed, “It was the only way
to save you.”

Claire tried to comprehend his words, “I
have no idea what you’re saying. Save me, from what?”

Tony looked down, his tired eyes suddenly
dark and gloomy and his voice flat with restrained emotion,
“Me.”

The temperature of the room dropped. Claire
felt the goose bumps materialize on her arms and legs as she
instinctively wrapped her arms around herself. Slowly she sunk into
the chair to Tony’s left. The silence stretched between them,
little by little filling each available molecule in the suite. The
intensity of the quiet, made the air difficult to breathe. Claire
tried diligently to fill her lungs with oxygen. She wasn’t sure
what he meant, but somehow the confession seemed monumental.

The sound of her vibrating
telephone shattered the silence. She jumped as the small devise
danced ringlessly across the table before them. The screen
flashed:
HARRY CELL
. She saw Tony’s eyes read the name before he turned
away.

His question sounded strangely distant, “Are
the news stories accurate?”

“
You should know the
accuracy of news reports.” She replied as the phone continued to
vibrate.

“
Perhaps I should answer
it?” Tony offered. His voice now clipped. The spell that encased
the suite and isolated them from the rest of the world was broken.
She wouldn’t learn anymore about his attempt to
save
her this evening.

“
No, thank you. I’ll be
just a minute.” Claire reached for the iPhone, stood, walked into
the bedroom, and accepted the call. “Hi.” Although she was trying
for light and carefree, she feared she failed miserably. Her mind
was still reeling from Tony’s declaration.

When we were children, we
used to think that when we grew up
we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept
vulnerability;
to be alive is to be vulnerable.
-
Madeleine L'Engle

Chapter
24

Harry’s tone brought light back to Claire’s
dark suite. “How did your meeting with Meredith go?”

The insinuation of dread no longer lurked in
corners and unknown hiding places; radiance flowed with the promise
of better things. She absorbed the positive energy, closed the door
between the bedroom and living room, and answered. “I think it went
well. Mostly, we just reconnected.”

“
That’s probably a good
first step.” He paused, “I miss you. I still think I should be
there.”

Claire exhaled, knowing he deserved honesty.
Her voice was hushed, “I have a surprise visitor.”

She heard the change in his countenance. His
voice suddenly tensed as his words came too fast, “Is he still
there? Are you all right?”

“
Yes and yes.”

“
I’ll get a SiJo jet and
be there in an hour and a half.”

“
That isn’t necessary,”
she continued to keep her voice low, “although, I would love to see
you. But seriously, you need to work tomorrow; I’m fine. I’ll call
when he leaves.”

“
He isn’t the only one who
can jump on a plane to see you.”

Claire shook her head.
“You know, I never wanted to be someone
people jump on planes to see
.”

“
I’ll be waiting for your
call. If you change your mind and want me there sooner call, text,
or send smoke signals.” His attempt at levity made her smile; he
continued, “I’ll be there.”

The grin traveled through the phone,
“Thanks, I will, I promise.”

“
I like hearing that
smile. Just remember... it’s for me.”

“
How can I forget?” she
asked. “I’ll call soon.”

“
I hope so. I’ll be
waiting. Bye.”

“
Bye, soon I promise.” She
disconnected the line.

Claire saw her phone, now
solely used for Courtney, flashing on the dresser. She checked the
screen, one text message, and hit the button:
BRENT JUST CALLED. TONY’S MAKING AN UNSCHEDULED TRIP TO SAN
DIEGO. YOU AREN’T THERE, ARE YOU? JUST WONDERING... THOUGHT YOU
SHOULD KNOW.
Claire smiled, fortified by
the support of others.

Hesitantly, she approached the door to the
living room. Her hand seized the handle; the cool metal calmed her
nerves. She took a deep breath and pulled it open.

She half-expected to find Tony standing
directly on the other side of the closed barrier. Opening the door
and stepping through the threshold, she saw him standing again at
the windows, holding his wine, and looking at the nocturnal vista.
Claire wondered if he’d heard her open the door. If he did, he
didn’t turn around. Slowly, she approached and joined him at the
window.

“
I apologize for the
interruption.” She said, looking at the lights below.

He turned toward her, looking down from
above. “Do you now, Ms. Nichols?”

Claire noted the change in his tone, more
businesslike. “I do.” Perceiving the meaning of her last name, she
confirmed, “You’re correct, I am Ms. Nichols, not Mrs. Rawlings.”
She considered adding, “your doing, not mine.” However, she didn’t;
she’d baited him enough.

Momentarily Tony stood,
facing her, close enough to touch, yet, a million miles apart.
Making no attempt to lessen the expanse, he replied, “I’m sure you
are busy. If I were
him
, I’d be on a jet right now. According to my calculations,
that gives us about ninety minutes to discuss what I came to
discuss.”

Claire considered enlightening Tony on the
difference between the two of them, explaining Harry wouldn’t be
arriving because she asked him not to. She could talk about trust
and communication. Instead she walked toward the sitting area,
refilled her glass, sat down compliantly, and asked, “What do you
want to discuss?”

“
You will discontinue your
discussions with Meredith Banks and any further plans you’ve
entertained regarding speaking with the media.” It was a very
poorly worded plea, sounding more like a mandate.

She sat back against the chair and smiled,
“Will I now?”

There was no hint of humor in his reply,
“Don’t push me. I’m tired and suddenly not in the mood.”

Inwardly she smirked, knowing Harry’s call
upset him. With each such instance her sense of empowerment grew.
“Well, I’d like to discuss something else.”

“
I would like to stay on
topic.”

“
Then it seems we’re at an
impasse. Perhaps you should go. We can continue this, another day,
or not.”

“
You’re not changing the
subject. The non-disclosure of our relationship is
nonnegotiable.”

“
I don’t recall signing
anything, well, other than a blank napkin. We didn’t even have a
prenuptial agreement. So I have no legal restraints on what I can
and cannot disclose.”

Tony stepped closer, “Legal, no. What about
ethical or moral?”

“
Did those concerns come
into play during your
acquisition
or our
relationship
?”

“
I have tried to explain,
not at first, but they did.”

“
Tony, I’m tired, too. I
don’t have the energy to figure out your puzzles. I don’t plan on
disclosing anything about your true identity to the media, if
that’s part of your concern. I have however, learned of many
misconceptions regarding
me
during our relationship. I do plan on correcting
those errors.”

“
Why?”

She sat straighter and used the words he’d
said to her, “Because I can.” His micro-expression revealed his
displeasure, “The world wants to know, and I’m willing to
disclose.”

“
It won’t happen.” He sat
his glass on the table and leaned forward. “I came here to
emphasize
this
is
a waste of your time. Currently my legal team is working diligently
to stop any information regarding our marriage or relationship from
public media. If anything appears on the internet or anywhere else,
a civil suit will immediately follow, against you, Meredith, and
the offending sites.”

Claire allowed the glass to linger on her
lip and watched as Tony laid the gauntlet at her feet. Finally she
spoke, “Well, at least this time you have the nerve to deliver the
ultimatum in person, instead of sending Brent.”

The reference to Claire’s prison visit
caused Tony to straighten his stance. “I was angry about the
plea.”

“
You’ve made your point,
now it’s my turn.”

Tony smirked, “Yes, I recall, you did like
your turn.”