Twist of Fate (15 page)

Ellie quickly pulled her shirt over her head, then tugged on her shorts. She looked to Tommy then back to me. "She's never going to forgive me. Shit!"

"Wait! What are you talking about?" I screamed, as she stormed past Tommy, who didn't look pleased with me, and once she was out, he kicked the door shut.

"Dude, you fucked up."

I got a hold of my bearings, and forced myself to stand. "How did I fuck up? Ellie is just her roommate, and Paige made it clear she has no intentions to be with me." I grabbed a bottle of water off of my nightstand. "Besides, you're the one that told me to come down. So tell me, Tommy, how did I fuck up? We're not a couple. I didn't cheat on her."

Tommy crossed over the room and sat on the edge of his bed, facing me. "I don't know, man. She got here a little while ago. She kept saying she needed to tell you something important. Then I asked her if it was about," he shook his head, "you know-her old school, and she said yes. She wanted to tell you before we all went home for the weekend. I'm guessing by the look on her face, she's not going to be telling you shit now."

The room fell eerily silent for several seconds as we both just stared at each other.

Tommy got up, moved around the room pacing for a few minutes, then stopped in front of me. He rested his one hand on my shoulder. "Sorry, man. I really tried to stop her."

"I'll fix it on the way home." The three of us were sharing a ride home for Thanksgiving. It might be uncomfortable in the car, but I planned on clearing the air whether Tommy heard me begging for her forgiveness or not.

There was no way I was going to chase after her tonight. I was drunk and nothing good usually came out of my mouth when I'd been drinking. Instead, I welcomed the exhaustion, and the alcohol helped me pass out.

PAIGE

Chapter 17

I couldn't believe they did this to me. I mean, I expected him to be a pig, but Ellie? How could she? She knew my feelings toward him. I think. I never came out and said it, but how could anyone with two eyes not see it. I slammed the beer down in a few short sips, trying to figure out what went wrong. It was my fault.
 
If I could have just fessed up to him, told him that I was interested this wouldn't be happening. I knew it, he knew it. Why did I do this? I couldn't let Carson ruin my life. Ben was not Carson. I'd tried to go on dates, to be a normal girl in college, but every time I just wasn't that impressed, and certainly not ready to trust men enough to be alone in a bedroom with me. Ben was different from all the others. I was petrified to be with him,
 
because he had already had my heart, and it scared me to let him know. I always trusted Ben. I'd trusted him since I was twelve. I knew he would never hurt me intentionally, but deep down I wasn't sure if he was capable of being with only one person.
 

I knew I shouldn't have come back to the dorms, but I had nowhere else to go. By the way they both looked tonight, even I was caught off guard when Ellie ran into the room, screaming my name. I figured she'd just pass out in his arms.

"Paige, Paige, please let me apologize. I am so, so sorry. I had too much to drink, and one thing led to another. I swear we didn't do anything."

I laughed right in her face. Literally in her face. "Hmm, Ellie."
 
I walked around her. "The way I see it, El, is that you're just as bad as them. You're just the female version. You're with someone new all the time. Don't you have any respect for yourself? You were on the floor naked in a room he shares with two other guys. Did you know that? They would have seen everything, and I don't think you even care. Tell me I'm wrong? Tell me you didn't sleep with Ben?"

"First, I said I was sorry. I'm not going to apologize for the way I choose to live the next four years. If I want to sleep with the whole damn campus, I will. But, I
am
sorry about Ben. And, to be completely honest, I don't remember everything, so I can't promise you we didn't have sex."

I threw my hands in the air. "You are unbelievable. I don't know why you feel like you need to score with every guy you meet, Ellie. They're using you. Don't you care?"

I watched as the tears fell from her eyes, then her body slumped to the floor. "No, I don't care. You don't understand, Paige, I've never been the pretty one. I've always been fat, and ugly. I had braces for five years. Girls like you have it so easy," she screamed in between tears.

"Don't do this, Ellie. Life isn't so easy for me, either. So let's not go there. There is a downfall to being decent looking. You're beautiful, so I don't understand."

"Well, let's just say I've racked up some hefty medical bills to look like this before I got here. You, on the other hand, were probably born perfect. And, I'm not trying to sound like a bitch, but I know I'm right."

Dear, Lord! What did I get saddled with as a roommate? A minute ago I wanted to kill her, but I couldn't help but feel bad for her. I had no idea how her life was growing up.
 
Slowly, I made my way beside her, squatting down. "You're beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you different. And, it doesn't matter how many doctors you've been to." I placed my hand over her chest. "It's here that really matters, and I know God gave you a heart."

She looked up at me, tears filling her eyes. "You're too fucking nice, Paige. Most girls would have hit me by now. How do you do it?"

I put a smile on my face, and shrugged. "Life's too short, right? I had a really bad year in Jersey, and it's changed me a lot."

She grabbed a hold of me, squeezing me tightly. "I am so, so sorry."
I didn't say it out loud before, so I better say it now. "Yeah, well, do me one favor? Stay away from Ben."

She pulled back. "I swear I will never, ever, ever look at him again."

I was supposed to be heading home for Thanksgiving, and I really wanted to, but the studio needed a last minute fill in, and I needed the money, so I picked up two classes to teach on Friday, which meant I would be staying on campus after all. Tommy sent back a nasty text about me not coming, and even spelled out what a bitch I was being.

A knock at my door Wednesday night startled me. Ellie had left this morning, so I knew it couldn't be her. Ben and Tommy should be home by now, if they left when they said they were going to. The dorm had cleared out for the most part earlier this morning. Although, I knew of a few girls who lived in the Midwest that were staying on campus.
 
Instantly, I grew nervous. My palms started to sweat, my chest tightened, my knees felt weak, and for the life of me, I was afraid to look through the peephole.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

I jumped back.

"Paige, I know you're in there. I can hear you shuffling around."

Ever ounce of tension left my body as soon as I heard his voice. I let out a few deep breaths, before I opened the door.
 

Ben glazed over me quickly with his eyes, but then darted around my room like I was hiding something from him. "You okay?"

I swallowed. "I'm fine. What are you doing here?" I turned to walk away, but he grabbed my wrist.
 

"What's this bullshit about picking up two more classes? It's Turkey time tomorrow. Come home with us?" He pleaded, sounding angry and hurt at the same time.

I was still unable to look at him. The thought of the two of them having sex freaked me out like crazy. Ellie and Ben should never have been together, but how could I tell him not to be with someone else? Especially when I couldn't give him what he really wanted.
 
And, I knew what he wanted. I could see it written all over his face right now.

Me.

"I need the money. I already told Tommy."

He stepped around me, grabbing onto my shoulders, so I couldn't turn away. "Is this really about the money, or is about Ellie?"

I closed my eyes, took a breath, then looked straight back at him. "Not everybody has money like you do, Ben. Some people have to work for it."

"How much do you need? I'll give you money."

"I'm not taking your money. Besides, I could use some time to myself."

Ben started huffing and puffing, like he was about to burst a blood vessel, or something. "You can't stay alone. I'll stay with you."

"No, you're not. I want you to go have fun with your family. My mom is gonna come down instead."

He looked taken aback. "She is?"

"Yep! We're gonna go get some Chinese. So, I'll be fine." I was lying and I felt really guilty, but I couldn't ask him to stay, and I wasn't sure if I even wanted him to.

Ben took two steps closer, lacing his fingers through mine. "Look at me," he said.

"What?"

"I'm really sorry about Ellie. Nothing happened, if that makes it better. We didn't have sex. I swear. I know this for a fact, okay?"

When I didn't answer, he slipped a finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him. "I'm not perfect, Paige. I make mistakes like everybody else. I hurt people, and I know I hurt you, but when I say I'm sorry, I mean it."

I took a step back and pretended the floor was more interesting. "Why would it matter to me who you choose to sleep with?"

Ben sighed, "Yeah, why would it matter?" He leaned down to kiss my forehead, then stepped out of my room. "Happy Thanksgiving."

I waved back. "You, too."

God! I am the worst person in the world. It killed me to hurt him like I knew I was doing, but since we'd never actually been together, I was hoping it lessened the blow. I was no good for him. I had so much baggage with Carson. And, God forbid he came looking for me, and found Ben instead. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to him.

BEN

Chapter 18

There was only three weeks of school left until Christmas break, and Paige had conveniently kept herself too busy to hang with loser frat boys. Her words, not mine. She didn't say it meanly, she just said it. But, is that what she thinks of us? Of me? I think she was just still pissed about what had, or rather hadn't, gone down between her roommate and I. I had spotted Ellie and Paige around campus together, so I wasn't sure why she could forgive her and not me.

Deciding to give one more go at it, I texted Paige about the last bash we were going to throw before school let out for break. It was a toga theme, and we'd be playing around the world. In around the world, each station was set up with a drink from that country. Like, Mexico would have tequila, and Ireland would have whiskey. It was hard core if you hit all the countries. Not many girls could handle it, but I hadn't seen Paige in quite some time, and getting her drunk might be the only answer to my prayers. Not only did I want to get her alone to feel her out about me, but this secret they'd been keeping was about to do me in.

I had almost forgotten about it until I stopped at Tommy's the day of Thanksgiving. Paige's mom was there freaking out that we had left her alone, and couldn't reach her all day. Imagine my surprise at discovering that Paige had lied to me. And Paige never lied. So whatever spooked her and clearly had her mom flipping the fuck out, left me with a whole lot of questions, but no answers. Once and for all, I was determined to get to the bottom of things.
 

***

The party started an hour ago, and Paige still hadn't made her entrance. But, neither had Tommy, who was supposed to be bringing her here. I was trying to stay sober, so I'd only had a couple of beers by the time I saw those beautiful legs finally come down the steps. Tommy was right behind her, and they were laughing as he tucked in his sheet tighter.
 
I almost fell on my face running over to them.
I'm not too frigging obvious.

"Hey, Ben," Paige said, smiling as she brought me in for a quick hug. I pulled her a little closer, to hang on for a second longer, burying my head into the crook of her neck.

Tommy clapped his hands together. "Alright, Paige, what country do you want to start in?"

She grinned, glancing at the tables and the people. The music was blaring, togas were starting to look a little sloppy. "I'll be over in Mexico, boys. I like Tequila. I hate all that overly fufu girly stuff."

I shook my head. "That's my girl. I'll join you." I gave Tommy a quick nod to let him know that I had her, and he took the hint, disappearing to the other side of the basement.

We were in line, waiting our turn, when I reached out for her hand. She flinched, but didn't move it. "One for one? You with me?"

"Next up?" A pledge yelled out.

I looked at him square in the face, giving him the knowing nod. His nickname was Brownie, since his last name was Brown. He knew to fill mine up with tequila first, then the next one water, and so on.
 
I felt bad setting her up like this, but she needed it. I needed this night with her. "Line them up. We'll be staying awhile."

I was mesmerized watching Paige lick her arm, sprinkle some salt, and then lick it again before she downed the shot, then sucked on a lemon, jumping up and down, laughing.

"Can't keep up with big girl's, Ben?"

I laughed, grabbed the shot, downing it. "Lemon and salt are for pussies."

She narrowed her eyes, causing this little wrinkle in her forehead to pop out. So I teased her, "Someone's getting serious now. Watch out boys." I could tell she wanted the salt and lemon, but to her credit, she grabbed the freshly poured shot and woofed it down in a second. She slammed it back down on the table. "No problem."