Twisted Lies (Dirty Secrets) (3 page)

Her face went rigid. “You ungrateful little tramp!”

“What the hell should I be grateful for?” I laughed bitterly. “I spent so long putting everything you want and need first that I stopped mattering, even to myself. I’m not even a functioning person. I’m just a shell.” I was done with Grace and her verbal abuse. I needed the toxic waste out of my life. It was time to start anew.

“Good-bye,
Mother
.”

Her mouth dropped open in shock. “You’ll never make it,” she screeched. “You’ll be back, begging for forgiveness.”

My face tightened. “I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.”

I turned on my heels and walked out of the office and through the teahouse. I was never planning on looking back. Stepping onto the sidewalk, I ripped the pearls off my neck, staring as they bounced and rolled across the pavement and into the gutter, exactly where they belonged. I glanced up at the beautiful clouds as I exhaled. This was my new start, and I wasn’t going to waste another damn second thinking about my dark past again.

CHAPTER

2

Twelve Months Later

Jade fluffed up my hair, determined to glam me up. I rolled my eyes at her. I guessed it wasn’t enough that I had on my hottest outfit. She pursed her lips, beholding her masterpiece—me.

“Where’s your party face?” Jade asked.

I yawned. “What are you talking about? This is my party face.”

“The hell it is. You look like you’re about to curl up as if you were some damn cat.” She rolled her eyes. “Get your party face on, damn it! We’re celebrating. We’re going to turn it up tonight. Tabitha, the Iron Dragon, has finally acknowledged how talented you are.”

I pumped my fist unenthusiastically before sliding down against the leather backseat. I’d only had a few hours of sleep, and it was all the zeal I could muster. It had been an exhausting day—or rather, it had been an exhausting year. After I’d enrolled in fashion school, my life had gone through a tornado of events—from moving into Jade’s new luxury apartment in Manhattan to interning during the day for Tabitha Thorp, the temperamental and eccentric celebrity fashion designer. All the while, I’d been working a dead-end job at night.

I was mentally and physically drained.

Even with the steady paycheck coming in, I still hadn’t been able to keep up with the tuition. It had been heartbreaking when I had to drop out of school after only nine months. I’d really thought my dream was over, but surprisingly, Tabitha had thrown me a lifeline, offering me a full-time job. The job offer had turned my life from negative to positive.

Even though Tabitha was a perfectionist and a pain in the ass, I’d learned a lot from her, and I’d eventually gained her trust and formed a strong friendship. Our friendship had forced me to push my creative process and clothing designs to the next level. So today, when she’d called me into her office and told me she was giving me a small space to sell my designs in her upscale SoHo boutique, I’d nearly fainted from excitement.

“Heads up, your stalker, Jaxon, is going to be at the club tonight.” Jade dug in her designer handbag, pulled out lip-gloss, and handed it to me. “Here, put this on and plump up those gorgeous lips.”

I gave her a sidelong look while grabbing the tube. “Jaxon? How does he know I’m going to be there?”

“Because I told him.” Jade ran her fingers through her hair. “It’s time for you two to stop circling each other with your exhaustive flirting. Get to the damn fucking already.”

Kirby, who worked as Jade’s chauffeur, chuckled.

I jabbed her in the side. “Will you lower your damn voice?”

“Ouch! What?” she screamed, giving me the evil eye. “Kirby’s like family.”

“And it’s not flirting. It’s foreplay, which you know nothing about,” I said.

“Foreplay doesn’t last for three months. That’s as annoying as a guy going down on you for more than fifteen minutes. Enough already!” Jade pursed her lips. “It’s been months since you’ve had sex. All that work and no fun has made you one cranky bitch.”

I grimaced. “It hasn’t been that long.”

“Bullshit!”

I counted in my head.
Shit. She’s right.
Maybe it was time.

I shook my head. “I’m not sure I want to have sex with him.”

I twirled my hair, staring out the window at the New York traffic whizzing by. I wasn’t opposed to filthy, hard sex with Jaxon, but it would only be on my terms. My terms were nonnegotiable—no attachments and absolutely no relationships. I didn’t have time for it. These were my rules of engagement. The knowing gleam I’d seen in Jaxon’s eyes told me he was willing to play by my rules. He wanted me. I was his current fixation, the new flavor of the month, and he craved a lick before he moved on to the next woman.

The situation should have been golden, but something about him niggled at me, warning me to stay away. Maybe I was just annoyed that he was what I called a
chameleon
. By night, he would play gigs, like some starving musician, and by day, he was the only son of a filthy rich family, who were waiting for him to get his shit together and join their prominent law firm.

Maybe I was just tired of men like him—cocky, wealthy, spoiled, and privileged. Their entire lives had been planned for them, and those lives didn’t include getting serious with women like me with no pedigree. Men like Jaxon would only fuck women from the wrong side of the tracks, and when they got bored, they would settle down with the ice-princess socialite women their parents had picked out for them from the day they were born. I’d learned the hard way that relationships, love, and commitment didn’t mean shit to affluent, overindulged people like him.

“Okay…well, maybe some deep-throat action?” Jade asked matter-of-factly.

Kirby swerved.

“Uh…that’s still considered sex.” I sighed heavily. “I don’t know.” I arched a brow. “Don’t you think it’s creepy that he’s been showing up at every club I’m at? It’s like he’s got a damn GPS on my ass.”

Jade shrugged. “Creepy? No. Focused? Yes. He wants you—bad. According to his schedule, you should have been checked off on his ‘already fucked’ bucket list.” She lifted a brow. “Would it be so horrific to try him out? You know”—she saucily wiggled her eyebrows—“to take the edge off?”

“You do know he’s not some car I can take out on a test-drive?”

Jade regarded me, totally perplexed. “Why the hell not?”

I couldn’t stop my laughter. “Okay, you’re right. I could test-drive him, but…I don’t know.” I bit my lower lip. “There’s something about him I can’t put my finger on.”

Jade’s eyes softened. “Sin, you’ve got to get over Kyle.”

My brows came together in a puzzled frown. “I have.”

Jade stared.

My gut started churning in that familiar way when I thought of Kyle. He had been my first everything—first boyfriend, first lover, first mistake. And just like clockwork, the self-loathing started slithering through my veins like poison.

I sighed heavily. “All right, fuck it, I haven’t.”

I cringed from just thinking about the emotional mess I was after Dad died. I had been weak. Mom had turned her back on me, leaving me searching for something I didn’t understand, even now. I was like a junkie, cut off from my next fix of love, and I’d been left to die a slow, emotional death. Adrift, I’d shut down my heart, but Kyle had wanted in, and I’d let him in because my delusional ass thought he was worth it. But A.K.—After Kyle—I decided there was only one way to avoid the pain of love. Close off my heart permanently. It was no longer open for business, and I planned on keeping it that way.

Jade studied me, worried. “There’s no shame in admitting it. He was a fucked-up high school crush. We all have one. Shit, I have several!”

I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling the tension mounting. “But the difference is you didn’t catch some chick fondling your boyfriend’s cock.”

Jade’s lips pursed. “Uh…hello? Did you forget the Justin scandal? Nothing’s more fucked up than discovering a selfie of your boyfriend going down on his mom’s bestie.”

We shuddered. It was an image that we’d both wanted to burn from our memories.

I smirked. “Yeah, but you got even by sending the selfie to his parents and the woman’s husband.”

“Exactly! No one fucks with a Bellisario.” She smiled smugly. “It was the biggest divorce scandal that summer.” Only Jade could take heartbreak and turn it into a reality show.

“Well, I lost my chance to get revenge on Kyle years ago.”

Jade tilted her head and stared at me incredulously. “Are you fucking kidding me? Look at you.” She leaned forward and tapped Kirby on his shoulder. “Isn’t she gorgeous?”

Kirby winked at me in the rearview mirror. “Absolutely.”

“See?” Jade smiled like a Cheshire cat. “You’re gorgeous, smart, talented, and still standing tough, like a damn warrior princess. Believe me, that’s the greatest revenge against cocky asswipes like Kyle Fillion. You didn’t crumble and blow away like he’d hoped.”

“Yeah, but it was real close.”

Jade slapped my thigh. “Not on my damn watch.”

She was right. I hadn’t crumpled or slithered away, but I had changed too much after what happened that night. I blinked back the pain, remembering the pivotal night that was still vivid in my mind.

That night had started out with so much happiness and excitement. I was practically giddy when Jade and I pulled up the driveway of Kyle’s parents’ enormous redbrick mansion. I had pinched myself for being so lucky. I was Kyle’s girlfriend. After months of me crushing on him hard, gorgeous Kyle had finally noticed me and smiled at me one day in chemistry class. He’d taken my breath away. He was the hottest guy in my high school, and it hadn’t hurt that his parents were New York City’s most influential political couple. Kyle was destined for greatness. Everyone expected it.

We had come from different worlds, but he’d chosen me over all the girls clamoring for him. Those girls had come from the right families and looked the part—blond, lithe, and beautiful. But he hadn’t seemed to care, and just like a tornado, he’d swept into my life and validated that I was worthy of love. He’d said all the right things, making me believe I was special, and in turn, I’d given him everything.

I thought we were in love, and I’d even lost my virginity to him, fucking him on his parents’ boat on my birthday. That night had turned into Kyle and me fucking like rabbits every weekend. Jade told me not to trust him, but I’d said fuck it and ignored her. I thought he was the one, so he was worth it. I should have listened. All the shit he’d told me was just so unoriginal.

I laughed bitterly, just remembering how nervous and excited I had been when we headed inside Kyle’s pre-graduation bash, the hottest party that night. I couldn’t wait to celebrate with Kyle, and like a fool, I’d resolved to shed my fear and utter the words I hadn’t said since the day my dad died—I love you. I’d expected to find Kyle holding court, surrounded by his preppy friends, but he wasn’t around, so I’d gotten some liquid courage before I set out to find him in the maze of the huge mansion. Just like everything in my damn life, happiness turned into dust the moment I pushed open his bedroom door. Kyle’s designer jeans were gathered around his ankles while his cock was being fondled by some chick with perfectly smooth, highlighted blond hair that fell across her shoulders like a gorgeous curtain.

I remembered how I’d just stood there shocked with my mouth gaped open as if it were some sort of mirage. I watched as the girl glided up with too much sway in her narrow hips. When she’d given me a smug look before sauntering out of the bedroom, it felt like a dagger to the heart.

“Kyle? How could you do this to me?” I’d rasped with unchecked tears streaming down my cheeks. “I love you.” My voice had hitched.

His face had turned into a mask of hate that shocked me to the very core.

“Love?” He’d huffed out an arctic laugh. “Sin, this isn’t love. It never was, and it never will be.”

I’d flinched, like a punch were launched to my gut. “If this isn’t love, then tell me, what the hell is it?” I’d stared at him with narrowed eyes, feeling my heart ice over inch by inch.

“What do you want from me? I haven’t promised you anything, Sin!” He’d sneered while unhurriedly buckling his belt.

“We’ve been dating for months!” I’d yelled.

His jaw tightened. “No, we’ve been
fucking
for months.” He’d walked up and stared at me without a trace of emotion in his beautiful blue eyes. “Sin, I’m going away to college, and you’re staying here to work for your mother. It would never work out between us.”

He’d reached out to touch my hair, but I smacked his hand away.

He shrugged. “Take it for what it is. We’re over.”

I’d stood there, feeling stupid that I’d allowed myself to be weakened after my dad’s death. I couldn’t believe I’d let him into my heart and body. I would never have let him in if I had known he would hurt me and leave me drowning in the deep end.

“Over?” I’d frozen like a deer in headlights, gasping for breath as I sank into the murky waters of an emotional abyss.

Then he’d gone for the ultimate emotional bitch slap.

“Let’s keep it real, Sin. What we had was fun but temporary. You and I know there’s no way in hell I could bring you home to my parents. You just don’t fit into my world.”