Two Moons of Sera (14 page)

“Nothing,” I muttered, hiding my eyes from his stare by
looking down at my lap.

“Fine.”

He turned from me and retreated to his corner. I watched him
carry all my hopes with him, and as much as this was about me, it was also
about him. All I wanted was to be free, and every moment I spent away from my
childhood prison, I became more and more lost—lost in the earth, out of touch
with the air.

“You want to know more about me, but I know nothing about
you,” I whispered, sharing my insecurities, unsure if I wanted him to hear.

He shrugged, his back facing me. “You know as much as I do.”

“That’s not true. I know it’s not.”

Turning back to me, his eyes were flat, his face
emotionless, and the space between us opened farther, until a cavern divided
the room.

“What do you want to know?” Tor’s voice tightened. The
familiar look of someone steeling themselves against inevitable pain softened
me toward him more than any kindness could have. He was just as afraid of being
turned away as I was.

“Show me your scars.”

Tor blanched. The desire to run, to yell, to hide, flashed
across his face, but the determined set of his jaw finally won.

He pulled his shirt off in one swift motion. Across his
chest spread a map of his history. Scars rose from his skin, light against his
dark flesh. When seen together, the marks on his arms paled in comparison, mere
scratches against this evidence of injury.

“This one was there when they found me.” Tor pointed to a
scar, which ran from one side of his neck, below his Adam’s apple, and across
his opposite shoulder.

“How?”

“Whoever did it must have missed their mark, since I’m still
alive.” He shrugged and lowered his hand to his side. “This was from a bear. It
was right after I’d been forced out and didn’t know how to hunt yet.” He raised
his arm and turned, showing me his side and the claw marks running along his
rib line. His muscled body flowed with ease, the puckered skin of his scars
masking his beauty.

“And this,” he motioned to his shoulder, “was from Elgon
when I first found him.”

The mountain hound sleeping at my feet didn’t rouse at the
sound of his name.

“What about this one?” I asked, standing and walking over to
where he stood. I placed my left hand against his stomach. The skin was tough
and covered in small pockmarks and bubble-like scars. Striated flesh
crisscrossed the area.

“That—” He looked down, his posture wilting as he placed his
hand over mine. “That’s where they burned me.”

“What?”

“They burned me.” He shrugged again, but his shoulders hung
low, and his back slouched forward. Even as he showed me his past, he tried to
hide.

“Why would anyone do that?” I tilted my head, willing him to
meet my gaze.

Instead he shrugged again and pulled his hand from mine.
Stepping away from me, he closed his eyes before speaking. “Children who set
things on fire are punished. When you hurt something, you have to feel what you’ve
done.” His voice cracked, and he shook his head. “Never mind.” He returned his
gaze to me and attempted a smile before facing away and bending to retrieve his
shirt.

That was when I saw the raised lines on his back. Thin scars
spanned from shoulder to hip, one scar piled on top of the next.

I held my breath as I imagined someone whipping Tor. He was
so strong, so gruff most of the time. It was hard to imagine anyone could hurt
him like that and survive. He had only been a child, defenseless and alone.

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his waist. The
warmth of his skin against my face was a welcome contrast to the cold hatred
flowing through my veins.

“How could they hurt you?” I whispered into his flesh,
holding him tight.

He stood still, unmoving and silent as I gripped him. This
man, this amazing creature who had saved my life, who laughed at me and argued
with me... this man who made me more furious and more delighted than I’d ever
imagined, had been through so much. The idea of anyone hurting him returned my
tears, and anger ran from my eyes to his flesh. He wrapped one arm around his
middle, pulled me closer, and sighed.

“We’re a mess Sera.” His chuckle was soft against the harsh
reality he’d shown me.

“Well,
you’re
a mess,” I teased, sniffling.

“And you’re as right as the moon rising behind the sun?”

Tor turned in my arms, pulling me against him. I laid my
head against his chest and allowed myself to hold him close. I was never going
to let anyone hurt him again. “I am now.” I sighed, breathing in the distinct
scent of Tor’s skin.

He placed his lips against my hair and his body relaxed
against me. “So, are you going to translate what you said? “

“Nope.”

He kissed me again, a lighter chuckle bubbled from his
throat.

“Hey!” A voice came through the door as someone kicked the
frame. “Are you two gonna eat?”

“It’s Traz.” I pulled away from Tor’s embrace, embarrassed
by his state of undress now that I was aware of the others’ proximity.

“You know their voices now?” He grabbed his shirt from the
floor and pulled it on as I sat and slid my feet into my boots.

“No. I can just tell. I can...
see
him.”

“Like you did in the forest?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“That’s really weird.” His grin was broad for the first time
since we’d come to the camp.

“At least I don’t set things on fire,” I teased while
walking toward the door.

“At least I don’t have to wear shoes,” he countered, bumping
against me so he was the first to open the door.

“I really do hate these things.”

We laughed together, strangely happy as we walked out into
the din of the pod and the beginning of the evening meal.

Watch it!” Kal veered away from us, carrying a steaming
bowl. “Hot stuff coming through!”

I backed into Tor with the end of a laugh caught in my throat.
Everyone was already at the table and passing bowls of food and a pitcher of
brown liquid around so each could fill their plates.

“Sure is!” Nalla laughed as he leaned over her to place the
bowl on the long table. Steam rising from the bowl created a mist on his dark
skin, leaving him shining in the bright glow of the main room.

Jai and Nalla were sitting together, as usual, with Lock and
Lace across from them. Elle sat on Sal’s lap, who was positioned at the head of
the table, next to Kal. Their laughter surrounded me, reminding me I was not
one of them. Tor stood just behind me, waiting for me to cross the border into
hostile territory. The only two open seats were between Lace and Ash.

Music played on the tonifier, and the food was piled high.

When we approached, Lace’s tinny voice cut through the room.
“So, the mountain man and his trusty sidekick decided to join us?”

Jai threw a corncob at her. “Shut up, Lace.”

Lace caught it and inspected it for remaining kernels,
nibbling at them as she spoke. “No really. You guys should’ve seen Tor out in
the field today. Big guy’s a maniac.”

“What?” Ash asked as I slid on the bench next to him.

“Well, let’s just say you can take the boy out of the wild,
but you can’t take the wild out of the boy.” Lace’s laugh was throaty and loud.
“Today was the final stripping before retiring the field for the year, and our
boy Tor here got to play with fire on his first day out.”

Tor settled heavily in his chair at the end of the table,
looking at his plate and avoiding the conversation around him. I sensed his
anger and frustration pulsing, as if it were a living part of him.

“And what did you do, Lace?” I asked. “Other than get stuck
in the mud.”

The mud on Lace’s face and shirt had dried, and it cracked
along her cheek as she smiled in response. “I’d rather play in the mud than
talk to the Fish.” She picked up her glass and drained the rest of the brown
liquid before grabbing the pitcher and pouring herself some more.

“How was your first day?” Sal called out to me from across
the table.

Silverware tapped against plates as everyone resumed eating,
content to ignore Lace’s antics. A platter of chicken made its way down the
table, thanks to Lock.

“It was all right, I guess.”

“How’d you test?” Traz passed me a bread basket as he spoke.
When our hands touched, I was struck by the cool dryness of his skin.

Tor grabbed some of everything passed our way and filled his
mouth, placing the burden of conversation on me.

“I did fine.”

“Fine?” Lock said, filling the glass in front of me with a
pitcher of water. “Sure, if that’s what you want to call it. Sera was placed in
the Hub.”

I glared at him, but he wouldn’t meet my eyes.

“The Hub?” everyone seemed to clamor all at once.

“Oh my! You’re, like, the front line!”

“That’s amazing!”

Pulling attention to the other end of the table, Elle said, “Well,
my day was pretty fantastic, too. Sal and I might be moving to the City!”

Excitement exploded around the table, and all of the other
girls squealed and tumbled out of their chairs to give Elle hugs. I watched,
unsure what I should do, until someone kicked me under the table. I looked at
Tor, but he focused on his plate, ignoring the melee around us. Turning back, I
felt Lock’s hard eyes on me. With a cock of the head and a raised eyebrow, he
indicated I needed to join in.

“When are you going?” I asked, leaving my seat and joining
the group at the end of the table.

Sal had his arms wrapped lovingly around Elle’s waist as we
each in turn hugged and kissed her.

“Well, we have to find out if it sticks first,” Elle said.

I leaned down and kissed the cheek of this amiable girl who
could, in another life, have been my friend.

Elle smiled. Her joy was so wide, it filled the entire room.

“So you have to come to the infirmary tomorrow and we’ll
check you out!” Jai offered as I returned to my seat.

Lock continued to avoid my eyes, and Tor was almost as
useless as the chair I sat in. I listened as the chatter continued about things
I didn’t understand, like tests and confirmations and waiting periods.

“Congratulations to you too, Sal,” Ash broke in.

“Yeah, I guess I’ve done my Erdlander duty!” Sal joked,
kissing Elle’s shoulder.

“Sera, maybe you and Tor will be next.” Elle’s voice was
cheery and full of excitement. She winked at me, and everyone’s eyes moved to
us.

“They’ve been Matched for too long already,” Lace grumbled,
earning a glare from everyone at the table. “What? They were out there for,
like, eight months, and nothing happened?”

“They were in survival mode,” Nalla protested. “I’m sure the
conditions weren’t ideal. Besides, just because
you
can’t seem to
reMatch after Jax....”

At the mention of Jax, everyone gasped. Lace hissed and her
face contorted. Water filled her eyes. Her mouth pulled into a menacing sneer.
No one else looked at her. They all focused on their food, but I couldn’t pull
away. The rawness of whatever had happened was tangible in the space around
her, like a black hole eating away any love and warmth she possessed.

Lace’s hands curled into fists, and a tear fell to her
plate, ignored.

Nalla whispered, “Sorry, Lace.”

“You have no idea,” Lace whispered, her voice raw. “No
right.”

“I know. I’m really sorry.” Nalla lifted her eyes and
flinched at the impact of Lace’s pain.

“Congratulations, Elle. I hope you get the
jikmae
out
of here as fast as you can,” Lace spat before picking up her plate and leaving
the table. No one spoke until the orange door leading to her room slammed.

“Nalla!” Jai scolded, turning on her friend.

“I’m sorry!”

Tor’s rhythmic chewing was the only sound at the table.

“Well, today was an interesting day in Culture,” Traz said,
breaking the silence and earning a groan from the table.

“Does anyone
else
have a story?” Kal complained in a
jovial tone, and the group laughed with hesitation.

I filled my plate with bread and meat as they spoke. Their
excitement over Elle’s news and the pain I saw in Lace’s eyes made me wonder
about what had happened to her before we arrived.

Eventually, everyone shared about their day, and I reached
for the green vegetables at the center of the table. After drinking three
glasses of water, I finally started to feel like myself again.

Ash refilled my glass from the dark pitcher instead. When I
brought it to my lips, the flavor was sweet and thick. I savored the taste,
letting it sit on my tongue for a moment. It was familiar, but I didn’t have a
word for it. Yet another item to file away in the growing list of things I didn’t
understand.

“I don’t think I’m that hard to please!” Jai protested
something Sal had said at the other end of the table.

“Please, everyone who goes into the infirmary comes out
wondering why they’re in trouble!”

The conflicting emotions within me gave me motion sickness.
I enjoyed these people. Even Lace. I’d seen something within her that reminded
me of Mother. Still, they were the enemy. Everything I’d seen and heard today
with Dr. Vaughn reminded me that Erdlanders were killing the Sualwet without
remorse or compassion. Their goal was to annihilate an entire people.

But wasn’t that the Sualwets’ goal as well?

My allegiance to them made no sense, other than my mother
raising me to believe they were in the right. What did I really know other than
that her family abandoned her, her people rejected me, and her heart had never
fully recovered? Was the slaughter of an entire people any worse than the
slaughter of one woman’s hopes?

Sal stood up, dropping Elle to the ground with a bang and a
fit of giggles. “Come on! Tor, what do you think? I can totally take on Traz!”

Tor’s low voice growled across the table. “What?”

“If it came to, you know, defending the honor of my woman or
something, I could totally take Traz.”

“Sal!” Elle giggled as she stood up. “You work in Food
Processing! Traz is a book nerd! You can totally take him.”

“He looks pretty tough to me.” Nalla smiled at Traz with dark
eyes.

Elle sat back down, and Sal began gathering plates.

“Stop flirting.” Jai pushed Nalla against Ash, who moved
closer to me, his leg flush against mine.

The heat of the room intensified the closer we became.

“Oh right, like you care,” Nalla spat back. “I keep waiting
for you to announce that you and Kal are going to go try for medical approval!”

“Oh my gods! Nalla!” Jai squealed before shoving her again.

Kal laughed hysterically, making Jai’s skin turn redder and
redder until I thought for sure she would burst. While trying to take another
drink, I realized I had finished all of my food and all of the brown liquid.
Ash refilled the empty glass as soon as I set it down.

“You done?” Sal asked, reaching his hand toward my plate.

“Yeah, thanks.”

He smiled at me, then winked at Ash before turning his back.
The laughter grew, and someone turned the music up. My eyes drooped, but I was
relaxed and kind of happy. My mood didn’t make sense.

Jai excused herself to help Sal. She walked out to the
kitchen but not before placing a hand on Kal’s shoulder as she passed.

“See!” Nalla called, laughing.

Even I couldn’t keep from joining in the fun.

Jai scowled back at us, the red hue of her skin reappearing.

“I have something special in my room.” Lock smiled, his
sweetness finally reemerging from behind his walls.

Traz asked, “Is it popcorn?”

“Is it smaller than a breadbox?” Jai called from the other
room.

“I’ll be right back.”

“Hey!” Elle called after him. “Get another melodisk, too. I’m
tired of this one.”

“No! Not more of his whiny City music!” Kal complained.

“I have a melodisk,” I offered in a soft voice, pulling
attention back to me. I didn’t think before I spoke. I probably should have.

“You what?” Tor glared at me, his words coming like a hiss
pushed through his teeth.

“I have a melodisk. I found it when we were... out there, in
the forest.”

“What is it?” Elle practically bounced with excitement.

“Just go get it!” Kal encouraged. “I can’t take another
round of
Hooray for Matches
!”

I stood slowly, the atmosphere of room thicker and more
muted than I’d expected. A hand steadied me. When I turned, it wasn’t Tor’s,
but Ash’s. I pulled away from him and caught the frown that appeared on his
face before I walked back to my room.

Through the door, I still heard them laughing and wanted to
return. Elgon woke when I walked in, his tired eyes blinking in the light.

This was the first time I’d ever felt like I had friends, or
a family. I wanted to fit in, to be a part of something, and in order to do
that, I allowed myself to forget what I was for just a moment.

I pulled the melodisk out of my woven bag on the bed. “Come
on, buddy. You want some dinner?”

Elgon stood and stretched, pushing his front legs out before
him. I left the door to the room open so he could follow when he was ready.

“What is it?” Kal asked, running up to me and taking the
melodisk from my hand.

“I don’t know. It’s not labeled or anything.”

Kal flipped the disk over in his hand and breathed on it
before wiping it on his shirt, removing what fingerprints and dust he could.

The table was empty, and most everyone reclined in the main
area—all except Traz, who stayed at his place at the table, sitting backwards
in the chair and facing the group. Tor stepped out of the kitchen with a glass
of the brown liquid in his hand. He leaned against the wall and glowered at me,
the kind of look that made my bones melt into caramel. The warmth of the room
crept into my skin.

Kal knelt in front of the bookshelf the tonifier was on. He
flipped it open, taking Lock’s melodisk out and throwing it across the room at
him before putting mine in and closing the top.

“You suck.” Lock laughed as he picked the disk up off the
floor. He walked toward his room but stopped as soon as the music from the
melodisk began to rise.

Discordant sounds, flowing together with a vibrating
perfection, saturated the air. Soft and low the thrumming of an unfamiliar
instrument joined in, creating an undeniable rhythm. I closed my eyes and
allowed the music to penetrate me and fill my senses. Instead of my usual
closed-off state, I opened my internal eye and watched the music dance through
the air, sweeping us all into its momentum.

A rising tide washed against me as images of a shimmering
sea reflecting a dancing sky played out before me. Colors and joy surrounded
me, pulling me into bliss.

A growl pulled my attention back. Elgon stood in the doorway
of my room, hair spiked out in defense and teeth bared. A voice joined the
tones coming from the melodisk, flowing without words through the inconsistent
but perfectly suited rhythms.

“Elgon, what is it?”

I stepped toward him but stopped when the growl intensified,
this time from behind me. Everyone fell quiet, transfixed by the music, as if
they were transported to another plane. I noticed Lock swaying in place, and
Elle’s eyes rolled back in her head. No one moved, mesmerized by the sound.
Except for Tor. His drink slipped from his hand and shattered on the ground.
Shards of glass spread out in a pattern of destruction. No one looked.

Tor hunched forward, his posture positioned for attack.
Elgon crouched on one side, Tor on the other. Something was bringing the animal
out in them. I ran to him, forced myself into his line of sight.